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[flayjoy]

[ The video begins with a deep sigh as a somewhat disheveled Theon Greyjoy. He's gotten himself all angry and frustrated just by struggling with the device. He's responded to others, but never had to record his own message. Now that he's gotten it figured all out, he's angrier than he normally would be and his voice comes out in a hiss. ]

Would someone care to tell me what I'm supposed to do with this?

[ He slams an open hand against the wall behind him, perhaps with a little too much vigor. When he lifts his hand, the image of a fearsome golden kraken is emblazoned onto the wall. He looks annoyed. Clearly, he has not yet seen its full potential. Merchandising, Theon. Merchandising. ]

It's the sigil my House, House Greyjoy. The rulers of the Iron Islands. Great seafarers and archers, and once great kings. [ The typical spiel, but definitely the cliff's notes version. ] Every time I touch something with too much force, the same thing happens.

[ He slaps another kraken onto the wall, just to prove his point. As proud as he is and as willing as he is to fluff up his House's reputation a bit, this is ridiculous. ]

What point is there to this? What use is it to me?

Comments

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[driftsintobuffetline]

So what happens if you punch yourself in the face? Do you get a tattoo?

Video

[flayjoy]

Come here and I would be happy to try it out.

[ Still definitely angry. ]

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[wizzardly]

You could use it if you get lost somewhere. [an immediate, confident answer from a man in a pointy hat.]

You can leave yourself a sort of breadcrumb trail with it that the crows can't eat.

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[flayjoy]

[ He eyes that hat with a most irritable expression. That hat alone might make him want to rage more than he already does, just because it looks so ridiculous. ]

Who is thick enough to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to mark their path?

[wizzardly]

[that's hurtful, Theon.]

Typically children with a fondness for sweets, as I understand it. But that's one useful thing for your list.

Anyway, that bit about House Greyjoy - was that a name you lot chose? Seems a bit conflicting, you know, "Grey" and "Joy", they don't quite make sense together.

text always;

[raw]

Open an etsy.

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[flayjoy]

I would need to know what that is in order to open one.

[raw]

Online shop. For kitsche crafts. Animal patterns. You could put the squid on little pillows and shit.

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[jacksonian]

Oh.

[ Mark's eye lights up in a purely capitalist sort of speculation. ]

I have a few ideas.

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[flayjoy]

[ Theon looks significantly less impressed. He comes from a time and place where his family's symbol is to be used only by his family. Capitalism hasn't crossed his mind at all. ]

Then perhaps you'll share them rather than leaving me to guess. I've not been graced with the ability to read your mind.

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[jacksonian]

[ Mark isn't offended by the surliness. Hell, he hardly even notices it. It's the precise sort of surly he gets sometimes, after all. ]

That's your House Sigil, you said? Are you willing to make a profit off it? [ He makes a dismissive gesture, brushing aside the protests he's anticipating. After all, his own father - and brother, for that matter - would probably pass out if t-shirts with the Vorkosigan family livery were sold. His mother would find it hilarious, he thinks. But, well...He's expecting resistance. ]

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[helpline]

Oooh, put it on a pillow!

[ none of these people are offering good ideas. ]

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[flayjoy]

I am not taking requests!

[ This is very serious. ]

[Video]

[wordaday]

I bet it would make a neat t-shirt.

[Video]

[flayjoy]

A what?

[ He sighs, looking both puzzled and irritated. It's not a lot of fun being in a world where you don't understand half of what's being said. Medieval people, am I right? ]

[anonymous + untraceable]

[khaleesipls]

IT STRIKES ME AS FITTING.

ALL EGO, NO SUBSTANCE.

OF WHAT USE IS HOUSE GREYJOY TO ANYONE?

jorah u lil shit

[flayjoy]

[ Oh, this one is interesting. Who would talk shit about the Greyjoys in this manner besides everyone? He can find no name attached to this message but in his mind, somewhere between the layers of his guilt, he can only assume this person is a Stark.

Better respond appropriately. ]

This coming from someone too frightened to show their face. The ironborn control the largest fleet in the Seven Kingdoms, or have you forgotten as much? You mainlanders can pretend you're just as capable if you like, though. Perhaps it helps you to sleep through the night.

Tell me, of what use are YOU to anyone?

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[illuminescent]

[A pause.]

Oh.

Well, that would be most bothersome.

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[flayjoy]

It would be.

[ He begins to lower his head into his hand out of frustration, but thinks better of it. Force really does seem to be a factor here, but he isn't going to take any chances. ]

Is there no way to prevent these things?

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[hisheartsdesire]

[Coming off a fit of laughter, amusement lingering in his voice,]

Is that... is that your only 'power'?

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[flayjoy]

[ You see this face? This is not the face of a happy man. This is the face of a man who would very much like to punch another man's face in.

But yeah, he does have another power. ]

No, it is not, but why it's any business of your own goes unanswered.

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[112ounces]

[ Well, if Carl had a sigil of his own, he'd be abusing that power for profit. But this guy seems to be big on everyone knowing the house - family? - name. ]

Well, my idea is to beat up some bad men and when you are done, put that sigil up so everyone knows who did it. Or just do something awesome and then put the sigil up.

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[flayjoy]

[ Theon is a man who doesn't truly know anything about himself at all beyond his name, so he likes to fluff up his family name a bit more than the average person. Thus far, he's been unwilling to let go of his pride and take requests to put his sigil on t-shirts and pillows, but he's also refused to work the job he's been given, so he should really change his mind soon.

Still, Carl's response is probably his favorite. It amuses him and manages to get him to crack a smile and even chuckle. It's quite an original response compared to the others. ]

A fine suggestion, impressively enough. Not a soul would be able to take claim for it.

a month later. voice. private.

[jalan]

I trust that by now your temper has cooled, Theon Greyjoy. And perhaps you've been given some answers of any use, too.

voice. private.

[flayjoy]

[ It's a peculiar thing, this private message he receives a month afterwards. He has received answers, some of use and some not, but he's on his way to figuring something out. He's still struggling with modern technology and society, and he has little idea as to who this person could be.

As for his temper... ]

You trust foolishly, then.

[ This is an entire different Theon from the Theon who came to Dany with his sister, bowed head and slumped shouldered. There's still an excess of vanity and pride in him, walls he's put up to mask his insecurities. ]

If you've waited this long in hopes that it has cooled, I'm afraid you'll be waiting far longer than that.