maskormods: (⒌)
mask or menace mods ([personal profile] maskormods) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2017-04-20 09:00 am

THE MAJORITY REPORT: APRIL 20TH, 2017

THE MAJORITY REPORT: APRIL 20TH, 2017
WAKEY WAKEY,
FOR HEAVENS SAKEY!

GOTT JUSTICE?
As seen televised on local and national news:
April 30th
Import Dr. Hermann Gottlieb-Geiszler was taken into custody late on April 23rd on charges of willful breach of government security. Details are classified, but it's a blow for the small, yet devout following of fans shocked by the news and arguing on behalf of the newly married doctor. But not only has Dr. Gottlieb pled guilty during his trial, he's offered no defense and shown little remorse for his alleged actions. Whether he's unaware of or simply disinterested in his staunchest fans is unclear.

Deemed guilty by the courts, Dr. Gottlieb is facing a two month sentence in medium-security prison, with the possibility of an early probational release on review. Officials say the De Chima-based imPort has been cooperative, but has threatened legal action against the local police department, citing violations of the ADA and criticizing the lack of official guidelines for the detainment of physically impaired suspects. So far, only a formal complaint has been filed.

"It could have been worse," Officer Reiman says. "We didn't expect to find [the suspect]. His file lists a teleportation ability and could have prompted an international manhunt. He'd had plenty of warning too-- had to get the cruiser buzzed in. Almost seems like he wanted to be arrested."

Meanwhile, imPort critics say that Dr. Gottlieb only let himself be arrested because of the unfair sentencing policies that favor cases like his. Typically, cyber crime has resulted in 2-5 year sentences for the non-imPort population. But whatever his motivations, there's no way to know for sure.

Dr. Gottlieb's evaluation is expected to take place on May 24th. His husband, Dr. Newton Gottlieb-Geiszler, could not be reached for comment.

BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE
As seen in HOT HOT BEAT, TMI Magazine, IMPORTED GOSSIP, and national news:
Fans of the hot yoga show "BODY HEAT!" were shocked this past week to discover the show's popular imPort host, Mick Rory, was arrested for arson. Rory admitted to setting his government-assigned house in Heropa on fire on the 13th of April, just before the holiday weekend. Rory has been sentenced to two months parole and community service, but has not given any public explanation for his actions.

Speculation is running rampant, with many pointing out that Rory had been known to offer his services to various Fire Departments in the Porter Cities, and had only just a few weeks ago had run a charity drive for the Heropa General's burn ward. Some have called attention to his little-used but widely known alternate alias "Heat Wave", and a rumoured criminal past. Fans online are split between those expressing outrage and those arguing it was a simple mistake.

As for BODY HEAT!, the producers made a public statement that they are reviewing his contract for breach of its Moral Clauses, and have since officially retired Rory from the show.

A BET-TER WORLD
As seen in local Maurtia Falls advertisements:
All bets are ON! WHO will be the next imPort arrested for criminal activity? The handsome Sam Merlotte? The incredibly loud Count Dooku? The beautiful Bela Talbot? The coquettish Yuri Plisetsky? Rope in your financial manager and/or gambling broker and put down a name, you could win it big if fate favors your delinquent pick.

(Smart money is on imPorts who are often seen wearing black).

YOU KNOW NOTHING, SPRING SNOW
As seen on the Maurtia Falls weather channel:
Bad news for people who were enjoying the spring weather. An extreme cold front is sweeping the east coast this weekend, producing blizzard like conditions for the state of Pennsylvania. You can expect to see snowfalls of up to two feet with wind gusts of up to 45 MPH. Folks of Maurtia Falls should brace for impact on April 21st. Wind gusts and heavy snow could cause localized power outages and downed trees. The department of transportation has announced that they are armed and ready with plows to clear the roads, and travel should not be adversely affected for long, but advises that drivers stay off the road if it can be avoided.

Just when you thought you were in the clear, it seems that Winter Is Coming back again.

THE DOOK OF HAZARD
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
The newest episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features The Doctor as a special guest star, interviewed by the Count for his take on recent dangerous incidents like the attack by armies of historical mirages that ruined the last weekend of March, and the blight of apple crops rumoured to have been caused by failed biogenetic testing.

The Doctor’s interview mostly involves a lot of rambling about the timeline, attempts to explain temporal paradoxes to the casual listener, and a little bit of grumping at the government for not letting people look at the Porter. Dooku has to get him back on track multiple times but, all in all, it’s a good interview. The most important thing is that the Doctor surmises that some of the problems, such as the historical mirage attack, might be caused by a temporal malfunction in the Porter. After all, the Porter is an impressive machine but it’s just a MACHINE. It’s entirely possible the Porter can’t juggle all these timelines and accidentally slipped up somewhere.

The Count closes this month’s episode by encouraging any listeners who are concerned about political issues to speak out by contacting the imPort community’s elected representatives with any questions or complaints. To this end, he has helpfully shared the following public contact information:

Lord Petyr Baelish, imPort Ambassador for Maurtia Falls
Queen Lucy Pevensie, imPort Ambassador for De Chima
Miles Naismith Vorkosigan, imPort Ambassador for Nonah
United States Senator Mitchell Hundred of Virginia

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from OF THE HEART to INDIGO-GO because nothing shakes off the sleepies like an impromptu dance party.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
beautiful_monster: (YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS)

Tezt

[personal profile] beautiful_monster 2017-04-20 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
WHO THE HELL THINKS I'M BEING COQUETTISH?!

[Yes, this is much more important than being suspected of criminal activity.]

picksthenames: (haha)

[personal profile] picksthenames 2017-04-20 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
thats rough, buddy.

[ laughing so hard ]

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sleight_of_hand: (Standing by the light)

[personal profile] sleight_of_hand 2017-04-20 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Better question: what the hell have you been doing that someone thinks you're going to be ARRESTED?

[ If this was voice, the, "Oh you are in so much trouble," tone would be much more obvious. ]

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badtouchingyourfood: (065)

[personal profile] badtouchingyourfood 2017-04-22 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
It isn't an inaccurate description, all things considered.

[ Because Hannibal is totally helping. ]

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picksthenames: (my suit)

[personal profile] picksthenames 2017-04-20 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Cisco bets $200 that Yuri Plisetsky will have a sterling record with no arrests whatsoever.
kingsroads: (small cheeky little smile)

[personal profile] kingsroads 2017-04-20 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
- The Doctor puts down $50 that the next person arrested is anybody but Crane.
- Strange has no goddamn clue what's going on but betting! Betting's fun! He'll put down $10 on Shale because he's a petty asshole like that.
ididntsaybanana: (drive-by hating you)

[personal profile] ididntsaybanana 2017-04-21 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Kaito bets $100 on Yuri Plisetsky for being arrested because he did eeny meeny miney moe and his name was chosen.
Edited 2017-04-21 01:52 (UTC)
slightlyoffchilt: (Stolid.)

[personal profile] slightlyoffchilt 2017-04-21 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
$100.00 on Sam Merlotte. Man is about to snap -- take it from a professional.
heckblazer: (Default)

[personal profile] heckblazer 2017-04-21 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
Is it bad form to bet on yourself?

[ Not that he cares, he's just wondering. ]
catchacold: mick (control the flames)

[personal profile] catchacold 2017-04-21 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
Leonard Snart is putting $45.100 (from Fahrenheit 451, get it) on Mick Rory not getting arrested again any time soon.
badtouchingyourfood: (039)

[personal profile] badtouchingyourfood 2017-04-22 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
$150.00 on Yuri because Hannibal is the most supportive fan.
kingsroads: (dude just stop that)

video;

[personal profile] kingsroads 2017-04-20 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
How close do these Ambassadors work with the government to begin with? I know they're supposed to be our representatives, but how well does that translate in practice?

[ it seems Dooku's got at least one listener to the podcast ]
storyseeker: (pic#10657805)

video;

[personal profile] storyseeker 2017-04-20 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Has anyone asked them? If they're meant to represent our interests, they should feel obligated to answer our questions.

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sleight_of_hand: (Standing by the light)

[Video]

[personal profile] sleight_of_hand 2017-04-21 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
All right, this betting thing is done.

[ It's rare to see Adachi serious on the network; he plays the part of the troll and he knows it, loves it even. But right now? He is Very Serious (tm). ]

Who's in charge of this thing? You're endangering a kid's reputation.
lightinside: (402l-003)

[Video]

[personal profile] lightinside 2017-04-21 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know who's in charge but I sure as hell would like to find out.

[ Especially if it involves a minor. Laurel wouldn't stand for a kid to get hurt. ]

Is the kid a friend of yours?

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pyrogue: (look at your life)

voice;

[personal profile] pyrogue 2017-04-21 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
Aw hell. Shoulda known it'd end up on here.
darkpants_warmfeeling: (Sideglance)

voice;

[personal profile] darkpants_warmfeeling 2017-04-21 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
Is it true, Mick?

[Why did two people he was pretty cool with get arrested in the same timespan. Why this.]

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accelerate: (pic#10207234)

voice;

[personal profile] accelerate 2017-04-21 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude.

[ mick rory is on this earth? it shouldn't really surprise barry. where there's ice, there's fire. but this fire doesn't sound like the mick rory he knows — not that he knows mick rory very well, aside from trying to burn him alive and also grunting at times. but, you know, they know each other. ]

[ sort of. ]

[ it sounds like this voice is about to reprimand him, but: ]


You're into yoga?

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dun_moch: (shadow)

Voice, loudly

[personal profile] dun_moch 2017-04-21 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
What an absurd speculation. I am not 'incredibly loud,' nor am I at any risk of being arrested.

[He might wear colours other than black for the next while just to be safe... or at least he would, if he owned any other colours.]
sleight_of_hand: (Feeling queasy...)

Voice

[personal profile] sleight_of_hand 2017-04-21 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
...you were just kinda loud.

[ Look, he might be internally panicking about this, but he still had to, okay? ]

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ididntsaybanana: (this is the only outfit i seem to own)

video;

[personal profile] ididntsaybanana 2017-04-21 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
Is this a gossip column or actual news? Or a mixture of both?

[ he crosses his arms and stares ]

How useless. Who even has enough time and effort to expend on these things?
defriendzone: (Friends and enemies they're all the same)

video;

[personal profile] defriendzone 2017-04-21 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ He'd heard that Kaito was around, but hadn't actually seen him until now. He won't lie, it's kind of nice that he's seeing him through video instead of face to face first. He even debates not replying, before deciding that avoiding Kaito would be stupid, especially considering Mai's living situation. ]

They always seem more like gossip to me than real news, but there's some truth to some of the reports.

[ Occasionally. ]

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shifting: (Hush puppies)

voice;

[personal profile] shifting 2017-04-21 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Is losin' your money on a horse race not enough for people anymore? Christ.
wordaday: (c029: gotta wear shades)

Voice;

[personal profile] wordaday 2017-04-21 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, we can spin this in out favor. I can put some money down on you and then you go and punch a cop or something. We can put it into the bar

[Alright, well, SHE thinks it's funny.]

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catchacold: :| (ambiguous)

video

[personal profile] catchacold 2017-04-21 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
But black brings out my eyes.

[What's an often posing criminal to do?

Pose in black, obviously.]
cleptes: ((9))

private voice;

[personal profile] cleptes 2017-04-21 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Is someone feeling left out?

private voice;

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stretchy_girl: (Default)

Video

[personal profile] stretchy_girl 2017-04-21 07:47 am (UTC)(link)

Mick Rory is a murderer and a terrorist where he comes from, he belongs in prison! I'm quite sure this arson was deliberate and shows the clear danger he poses to society.

[If Heatwave wants to be reformed Gemini isn't going to make it easy for him.]
catchacold: :| (looks like snow)

Video

[personal profile] catchacold 2017-04-21 08:15 am (UTC)(link)
Mick Rory's been on the reforming track before he ever got here. You think criminals don't deserve a chance at rehabilitation?

Too bad you ain't in charge of the justice system, eh?

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cleptes: (1416680 (19))

voice

[personal profile] cleptes 2017-04-21 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
While I appreciate the attention, I don't want to attract bad publicity.

[She's a well to do businesswoman for heaven's sake! Not a criminal *coughcough*]