infomodder: feelin like a freight train in need of a haircut (it's just one of those days)
ᴀᴘʀɪʟ's ʜᴜsʙᴀɴᴅ ([personal profile] infomodder) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2017-06-04 12:14 am

010 | CRAWFISH BOIL | ANONYMOUS TEXT

Why don't fish like basketball? They're afraid of the net.
What fish can perform operations? A sTurgeon.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Have some one throw it at you.
Did you know the octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just squidding.
Why don't fish pass their exams? Because they work below C-Level.
Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide.
How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.
Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt? Now he's a bronze fish.
Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A tunee fish.
What fish goes up the river at 100mph? A motor pike.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.
Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish.


[Yep. That's the post. Just a bunch of awful fishy jokes that are absolutely anonymous and no one can prove otherwise. However, his pool is limited...time to reach out.]

Your turn. Share your favorites, imPorts.

[Whether he means favorite fish jokes or favorite bad jokes is a mystery. Do your best worst, chums.]
flayjoy: (pic#10846636)

text;

[personal profile] flayjoy 2017-06-04 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Are you through?

wow will you're so anonymous

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he can play victarion

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euron if you ask fancasts

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no one ever fancasts aeron tho

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good

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reexamined: (003)

finally I can tag you

[personal profile] reexamined 2017-06-04 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
Must they be about fish?

Re: opens arms anonymously

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[lurk of abject adoration]

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yes exactly

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dr_eldarov: (Polite)

Text

[personal profile] dr_eldarov 2017-06-04 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
I am very sad all my jokes of this nature are in another language and don't translate in a funny way.

[These are the sort of Dad Jokes he absolutely made around his children well into their adulthood and he loves them all.]

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candor1: (Yavin . andamiada . rebelde)

[anonymous text + thank you so much for this post]

[personal profile] candor1 2017-06-04 10:22 am (UTC)(link)
Conductor: Children over the age of four need their own paperwork
Parent: My child is four
Conductor: He looks at least twelve
Parent: He worries a lot



Child 1: Which is closer, the next village or the moon?
Child 2: The moon of course - you can't see the next village from here



I couldn't sleep wondering where the sun had gone until it dawned on me



A crew are separated from their ship and make camp in a field
The captain wakes the rest in the middle of the night and says, "Look up at the stars. What do they tell you?"
The navigator: "We are currently near the equator."
The ambassador: "Their constellations reflect a matriarchal mythology."
The pilot: "The universe is larger than one being could ever explore."
The mechanic: "Somebody stole our tent."




Q: Why is sex terrible in hyperspace?
A: You can find the position or the momentum but not both at once

anon text

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hostage: (cheerful ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2017-06-04 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
OK here's one: how's a fish like a dick?

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acclimatized: (about the time you find you're sick of)

[personal profile] acclimatized 2017-06-04 11:39 am (UTC)(link)
You should feel gill-ty about this post.
thevictoriandetective: (Live it love it kill for it)

Thhhhhreadjack

[personal profile] thevictoriandetective 2017-06-04 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I will burn every last jumper you own if you attempt to make a pun that terrible again.

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eatsnutsandkicksbutts: (SG - CUNNING PLAN)

text

[personal profile] eatsnutsandkicksbutts 2017-06-04 04:11 pm (UTC)(link)
omgggg

all these fish puns are KRAKEN ME UP!

Re: anon text

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metalminded: (makes up w/chessboard)

[personal profile] metalminded 2017-06-04 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you find fish inherently funny?

Re: anon text

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A LONGNOSE

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wordaday: (g091: grin)

[text]

[personal profile] wordaday 2017-06-04 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
You forgot the best one!

What did the fish day when it swam into a concrete wall?

Dam!
112ounces: (Default)

text

[personal profile] 112ounces 2017-06-05 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
I could tell you a good rock joke but they are all Argon

permatext

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storyseeker: (blushing)

text;

[personal profile] storyseeker 2017-06-05 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
I hate that you made me laugh at some of those.

anon text

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legionnaires: (vld 159)

text;

[personal profile] legionnaires 2017-06-05 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
This post was intense.

Like camping.

text;

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nastygram: (C:\getalife!)

text; username dh4z3

[personal profile] nastygram 2017-06-05 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
is this u sharing these ur favs


bc all i sea are some bass-ic shitty puns

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h2no: i am a genius (WE'LL DIG UP THE BOX)

text

[personal profile] h2no 2017-06-08 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS WAS ONIXPECTED.

[yall know what an onix is right]

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