maskormods: (⒉)
mask or menace mods ([personal profile] maskormods) wrote in [community profile] maskormenace2017-08-10 05:45 pm

THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017

THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017
Native sentiment centralized in the east coast has been growing for a governmental response to the recent imPort-centric chaos. The government, ever protective of imPorts, has been reluctant to set down any new regulations -- but constituents have been calling their congresspeople.

HE KANGED, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED
As seen on BlueTube (via cellphone footage), Bwitter, Rumblr, and Heropean local news:
Some of the clone mayhem has been put to a stop in an explosive manner, thanks to the draconian imPort Kang. The amateur footage shows him cornering his own clone in an alley several blocks from a restaurant favored by locals. Kang is heard shouting for others to back away before shooting energy darts out of his hand, killing the double troublemaker on the spot. The body then reduces to bones and explodes as if they were made of dynamite, much to the surprise of the onlookers. No others were hurt, and there was minimal damage to nearby property.

According to Kang, before the video ends, this is completely normal for his race.

There had been reports of this clone starting fights in several bars and espousing imPort and non-human superiority. He has also been linked to three local deaths. No official statements have been made by the police as of yet.

AIN'T NO SNOWFLAKE
As seen in national newspapers and De Chima televised channels:
A new shelter is being opened by former ambassador candidate Jon Snow. While De Chima has a number of shelters in use, Lord Snow has promised that his will not only be located outside of the city, but will provide housing not only for the homeless, but for the imPorts currently without support and between jobs. He's stated in recent interviews that the shelter will provide assistance in finding more permanent housing and jobs, as well as teaching the residents of the shelter valuable tools to help them in various careers. Donations and supplies are requested, delivered to Snow's office between the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

"We are in this together," Snow has told reporters. "We need to band together, all of us. It's the only way our city will thrive."

ABSOLUTELY SIMFUL
As seen on BlueTube play-by videos, local Heropa news, Rumblr, and in internet ads:
There's a new mobile app that has been causing something of a stir amongst natives. Launched just this week, HEART KAPOW WOW is an app that enables natives to embrace the ImPort experience... via dating sim. The game is available to anyone interested for a small fee, but the most interesting thing is that some of the dating options might seem a little familiar. Players have the option to go with a number of dating routes, and live either a heroic or villainous life. More information on the game and uncanny dating options is available here!

SELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
As seen in entertainment magazines and the official TMI blogosphere:
Reality stars Noah Czerny (of "True Afterlife") and Ronan Lynch (one half of the duo from ETV's "fuckups & tryhards") have taken to BlueTube in a series of videos depicting the boys performing tricks and stunts with novelty toys in the shape of male genitalia. As of this report, the videos have over one million views. Whether the viral performance is a spontaneous act by the boys or a calculated move on the part of UCCY INC Network in an attempt to merge its popular teen imPort franchises remains a point of debate on entertainment news sites and forums. Both boys, who are roommates and make cameo appearances on their respective programs, have a large following on Imstagram and recently toured London as guests of the British government in celebration of a new trade deal between the US and UK.

THELMA AND OH GEEZ
As seen on Rumblr discourse, in Bwitter threads, and watched on on TMI Tonight:
SPOTTED: Daenerys Targaryen giving a statement to police called to the site of her recent fender-bender. Her passenger at the time of the accident was friend and sometime collaborator Gwen Wynne-York, to whom she was overheard remarking, "I think we won that".

Ms Wynne-York could not be reached for comment but was reportedly struggling to contain her laughter.

Ms Targaryen is rumored to have settled with the other party.

ROW ROW ROW AND BOATS
As seen on imPort Message boards, Community Interest News Stories, Boating Enthusiasts Newsletters:
A heated argument has broken out among Boater Enthusiasts the last few weeks. It's not quite an all out battle, but races have been tossed around as a possibility. The Prize? Having imPort Riptide sign off as the mascot of whichever club wins! So far no word has come from Riptide himself as to which club he supports, but Heropa's two largest clubs, Pier Pressure and Schooner or Laker have been making some waves. Only time will tell if the riptides will turn in their favor, or if they'll be washed out to sea.

BAEB IN PLOYLAND?
As seen on all Maurtia Falls news channels:
On July 21st, imPort ambassador Petyr Baelish officially announced he would be running for mayor in an interview with the Maurtia Falls Times. The signs had been there for quite a while what with him running regular town hall meetings and drumming up support in the education and business communities, but up until now he had been rather coy when asked about his ambitions. When prompted about whether this would mean he would step down from his ambassadorial position, Baelish responded he had no plans to step down unless he secures the office and he believes he would be fully capable of devoting his time to his fellow imPorts as well as running his campaign.

Current mayor Tony Cardelli seemed unconcerned about Baelish's announcement. "While I can greatly appreciate the works Ambassador Baelish has put into place during the time he's served this city, I think the people of Maurtia Falls will know better than to appoint an imPort in the role of mayor. And that's nothing against his capabilities, but quite simply being an imPort always runs a risk of them spontaneously vanishing or otherwise leaving the city at risk. Look at what happened to our city just this past week because of imPorts. And I could go on record naming numerous times imPorts have been the cause of our city's problems. Because of this, I am confident I will be reelected for a second term." Cardelli told Channel 7 News in a press conference after the clone catastrophe.

Even so, many cars have been spotted around the city with a single mockingbird bumper sticker in solidarity with Petyr Baelish, his town hall meetings have been seeing a dramatic increase of foot traffic, and whether it's the work of the famed guerrilla artist or copycats -- the message "embElish maurtia falls" has been cropping up in gold spray paint all across the city. It's clear that Ambassador Baelish has drummed up quite a bit of support quicker than anyone realized, and it seems as though Cardelli will be forced to take his campaign seriously.

On August 18th at 7:00pm, Mayor Cardelli and Mayor-Hopeful Baelish will be going head to head in their first town hall debate. The citizens of Maurtia Falls are encouraged to come ask questions or air out their grievances.

POKEDISASTER
As seen on BlueTube, Rumblr:
What appears to be the imPorts Blue and Archie, seen here, having a battle of pocket monsters in the middle of London. IN CONSEQUENCE of this intense one-on-one, a large, poisonous sludge-strewn crater was left in their wake. Disaster!

Dragged off by their respective Pokémon, these brawling trainers might have gotten away with it anonymous -- but imPort Niko recorded it and uploaded it onto BlueTube page. What!

TIME TO MANABU UP
As seen in Nonah local papers:
Seen as a kind of goodwill effort by some (or tasteless infiltration by others), imPort Manabu was interviewed by local journalist Jacknard Pulley regarding his induction into the North Carolina Nonah Division Police Academy. Manabu has stated that, to quote, "he's hoping his actions will speak for themselves; he wants to help everyone, imPort and local alike".

The article itself was published in multiple papers, as Pulley is a freelance journalist. A feel-good piece that has been criticized as imPort propaganda by anonymous users on Bwitter has nevertheless found some support within the Nonah community.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COQUELICOT to WENGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
pigmypouter: (T13: Repeat that please?)

[text]

[personal profile] pigmypouter 2017-08-11 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
oh my god that's what they were all for
Edited 2017-08-11 00:53 (UTC)
admemoriam: (i can't wait till i get home)

[personal profile] admemoriam 2017-08-11 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
they didn't even mention the part where we got mall-arrested for it!!!!!!!!!!!

[Which, as you can see, he's quite upset about, considering he's already complained about that once on this post.]
dirtyredneck: (Action Confused (2))

[personal profile] dirtyredneck 2017-08-11 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
The fuck is a wenge? Who the hell comes up with these codes?
ghoulking: (Default)

[personal profile] ghoulking 2017-08-11 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Wenge is a tree. It's wood is about that color.

I don't think the colors have an actual meaning, though.
Edited 2017-08-11 15:41 (UTC)

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airshow: (Because ADVENTURE.)

[personal profile] airshow 2017-08-11 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Wenge you glad you didn't say coquelicot?

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namesaquestion: (Some sweet violent urge)

Video

[personal profile] namesaquestion 2017-08-11 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
The battle was even better in person. [He's laughing so hard even with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.]
h2no: (WE'VE GOT US A MAP)

Re: Video

[personal profile] h2no 2017-08-11 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
You shoulda done doubles with me against Blue.

Video

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halloflamer: (Sent to the Shadow Realm)

[VIDEO]

[personal profile] halloflamer 2017-08-11 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
[Huh, what's this, a newspaper for imPorts? Let's see what weird crap Blue missed while he was in Lo--]




[o...oh....]
halloflamer: (WHO ARE YOU CALLING THIRSTY!?)

[personal profile] halloflamer 2017-08-11 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
[Shit, can he get arrested for this? He's in the clear, right!? New region and all that! And besides, Pokémon battles cause worse damage all the time!]

[Yeah, he's fine. It's fine. Be cool, Blue.]


Hahaha, that loser couldn't even remember his Pokémon's moves!

oops now in right place

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slightlyoffchilt: (Look.)

[personal profile] slightlyoffchilt 2017-08-11 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
What sort of lawyers does this... Dating... Sim... Creator have to dance around persona and copyright like that?
metalminded: (bro u can't be srs)

[personal profile] metalminded 2017-08-11 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
We're public figures, Cedric.

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admemoriam: (you'll close it off board it up)

voice.

[personal profile] admemoriam 2017-08-11 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
You didn't even mention the part where we got mall-arrested for it!
dirtyredneck: (Neutral Conversation (07))

voice.

[personal profile] dirtyredneck 2017-08-11 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Mall-arrested don't count for shit.

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dexnav: (pic#8556020)

[ video ]

[personal profile] dexnav 2017-08-11 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ she blinks... pauses...

and does a big ol' facepalm. ]
h2no: (binch??)

Re: [ video ]

[personal profile] h2no 2017-08-11 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
...


...

It's an adult thing.

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siriusly: (i wish you'd stop......)

[personal profile] siriusly 2017-08-11 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
I guess...it's nice that this got buried in all the weirder news...

But propaganda seems a bit harsh...
h2no: (HAHAHAHAHAH)

[personal profile] h2no 2017-08-11 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
FUCK THE PROPOGANDA.
CONGRATS, KID. GOOD JOB.

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pyrogue: (hot under the collar)

video;

[personal profile] pyrogue 2017-08-11 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, "Dick Mory"? No, it couldn't be... right?
accelerate: (pic#10549280)

video;

[personal profile] accelerate 2017-08-11 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, you're in this thing?

[ no offense, mick. there's nothing wrong with you. if anyone deserves to be in a dating sim, it's heatwave for all the puns he can make about being hot stuff. ]

Seriously, this is so not fair.

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reexamined: (056)

[text]

[personal profile] reexamined 2017-08-11 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
Who else is playing "HEART KAPOW WOW?"

I've noticed many of the "bad endings" end with murder. At least eleven. I have never played a game like this before, but I can't be the only one thinking that's an unusually high amount of murder for a game about romance.
glowsferatu: porrim, thought (pic#6650708)

[text]

[personal profile] glowsferatu 2017-08-11 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
you might think that perhaps
if youve never participated in or witnessed an import romance

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specialise: (pic#10549268)

VIDEO.

[personal profile] specialise 2017-08-11 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
[ sparing the network her "what the hell is a dating sim?" raven pays that fee and starts to play ... and damn, this is some good stuff. ]

I've got to give the creep who made this Heart Kapow Whatever props. The Phoenix Prince character's a babe.

[ raven arches her brow. ] Shouldn't I be getting something for being the muse behind the best character on this thing?
ewenique: (Default)

anon anon anon also text but especially anon

[personal profile] ewenique 2017-08-11 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

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VIDEO.

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VIDEO.

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governorkang: (Idiots / Facepalm)

Permavid

[personal profile] governorkang 2017-08-11 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Humans. I will never understand their need to create fictional relationships.

[Also he is so glad he isn't the inspiration for a character.]
viced: (Blame Canada)

Voice

[personal profile] viced 2017-08-11 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. Imports can't be politicians, they say. [ The eye roll, it's very heavy ]
nymphic: (191)

[personal profile] nymphic 2017-08-11 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Someone's in for a surprise.

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carbonfrozen: (you're so scared and all alone)

[voice]

[personal profile] carbonfrozen 2017-08-11 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
Who made this game? This "Hannu" guy doesn't even look like me.
faithfulson: (I think I swallowed a bug)

[voice]

[personal profile] faithfulson 2017-08-11 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
...out of everything in your route, that should really be the least of your concerns, Han.

[ Yeah, guess who started playing out of curiosity? Sorry, Han. ]

[voice]

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song_of_ice: ([Jon] Sighs (Over This))

Video

[personal profile] song_of_ice 2017-08-11 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[He's almost face palming. A dating sim? Really? No, this is all kinds of disturbing to the man who had seen walking dead.]

The calender's weren't enough? They have to create versions of us for this?
carbonfrozen: (never more to go astray)

text

[personal profile] carbonfrozen 2017-08-11 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
[Like three hours after his initial reaction:]

I have another complaint

you just killed me in the game

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ghoulking: By asdagfsd (DNS) (pic#11535122)

[personal profile] ghoulking 2017-08-11 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Kenward Kullen. Really?
ghoulking: (Normal - pic#10592266)

[personal profile] ghoulking 2017-08-11 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
And I kill the protagonist all the time??? Who made this? [ he can't moves past the first bad ending.


and yes, Kaneki is playing it ]

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sleight_of_hand: (The happiest man on earth)

[Text]

[personal profile] sleight_of_hand 2017-08-11 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
I'm dying.
I'm literally dying.
This game is GREAT.


[ He's playing ALL the routes. Especially that Harley and Dooku knock off. And his own. Because holy shit this is funny as hell. ]

Tomas Anders, hunh? "Anders" sounds like the kind of name you'd scream at someone for screwing up, so it's perfect.
itistolaugh: Like super Greek. Hella Greek. (This scenario is okay if you're Greek.)

[personal profile] itistolaugh 2017-08-11 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
omg you just murdered me you asshole!

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jalan: (#11080878)

text.

[personal profile] jalan 2017-08-11 12:08 pm (UTC)(link)
The rumors are true, we did settle, thank you.

And is there an outcome of Heart Kapow Wow that is actually happy?
Because I set my own home on fire.
nymphic: (141)

[personal profile] nymphic 2017-08-11 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
If you can't romance yourself, what hope has anyone else got?

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