allforyuu: by cupcake_graphics (suspicious)
[personal profile] allforyuu
[As the video turns on, it shows a blonde with a tired expression. He's obviously just gotten to the city, judging from the strange clothes and the small bag of possessions he's bringing with him.]

They don't really expect me to live with these humans?

[The house in itself is fine. It's more colorful than expected. However, Mika isn't pleased with the lack of privacy. It's not safe.]

[That isn't even mentioning the danger those humans will be put in. The whole set up is reckless. He pats his bag, making sure the artificial blood he was assigned is still there.]

video

Nov. 7th, 2016 06:41 pm
airshow: (I robbed the continental breakfast.)
[personal profile] airshow
OH MY GOD STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING I HAVE WHACK-A-MOLE.

[ And now that he has your attention, he flips the camera back onto himself. Trickster is wearing a light-up bowtie over a dark blue button-up shirt, as that is what passes for finery to him. Behind him loom several bright, loud arcade games, a dart board, a plastic singing fish spraypainted gold, and — oh god, is that fake? — the taxidermied head of a crocodile wearing giant novelty sunglasses. ]

Goooood evening, my fellow Americans! Before we get too into the touchy-feely family-friendly parts of this holiday season, I have an announcement to make! The Frisky Nickel is (almost) open for business right here in our very own beautiful, muggy Heropa. But what is that, you ask? Well, that’s a darn good question! On top of obviously being a testament to the American spirit of unfettered, devil-may-care, perhaps even reckless entrepreneurship, it’s also a barcade. That’s half-bar, half-arcade, for those of you who aren’t naturally gifted at the whole smashing words together thing. It's okay, it's an art, I know.

Kids, young adults, and those of you without fake IDs: you’re allowed in the non-glug-glug-glug side of the establishment ‘til ten PM. After that things might get a little weird and I’m gonna have to kick you out. No hard feelings, I connect deeply with the emotionally immature, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. I’m not saying I’d consider letting you in with a fake mustache, but I might.

A-ny-who, I might need a couple hands around here, if anyone’s interested in gainful employment. Good at mixing drinks? Got fun ideas for what to do with sacks and sacks of quarters? Have some kind of mysterious other skill you think I should give you money for? Talk to me. I’ll put my job interviewin’ hat on for ya and everything. I don’t actually have a job interviewin’ hat, but I can make out out of balloons if the situation requires it. Just one of my many talents.

Anyway! Stop on by this Friday for the official grand opening! I’ll be handing out free tokens like candy, and handing out deep-fried Skittles, which are actual candy. Kind of.
immortally: (14)
[personal profile] immortally
[ Consider him curious. Maybe he shouldn't be and maybe he shouldn't even bother. But, sometimes at night—and after a martini or several, shh—certain questions and thoughts rise to the forefront of his mind no matter how much he may wish for them not to.

And, well, since he has some form of an audience here, Magnus figures: why not??

It's just audio for now, his tone is fairly even with just a small touch of amusement. Because if he can't poke fun at certain things, what's the point. Right? Right. ]


There's always quite a lot of discussion over what to do with time. Complaints about wishing to have more or wishing it would pass faster. So, I'm curious. What would you do if you had an infinite amount of time?
pummelgranite: (pull up in my monster automobile gangsta)
[personal profile] pummelgranite
[ She's recording from somewhere dark, sitting on a throne of bones and roots. ]


I want to apologize to my fans who attended my show last night. Something, or someone, interrupted my mass, and . . . well. Shit got fucked up. If you were there, you saw it.

It shouldn't have happened. My Hell should be your haven. I can't promise to you that I will keep you safe. But I can promise you that it won't happen again.


And I can promise you that because I'm gonna find out who's responsible, and I'm gonna rip them into tiny fucking pieces.
devoutish: (I can't believe I'm praying)
[personal profile] devoutish
[When it comes to the network, Alfie is more of a reader than a poster - and when he does post, he usually prefers to pick one person and talk to them directly, rather than saying something to all the imPorts at large. It's closer to what he's used to, and it's an easy way to control the conversation. But the technology and how it's used is a curious thing to him, in a frivolous sort of way. He doesn't think he'll ever end up relying on it, but it's worth a little experimentation.

So here he is.]


I was out for a walk today, right, and I was approached by a very little boy, knee-high. He addressed me by name, he pointed to my hat, and he asked to borrow it for a costume. He wants to be me, for Halloween, and he was determined to be authentic.

[He gives a pause to let this sink in.]

That's ridiculous, innit. It's ridiculous. You lot have covered the costumes already; I’m not gonna go over it again. But all these admirers - I’ve been here a month and I’ve done nothing but discourage them, and still they come.

[It’s true. He puts a lot of effort into actively sabotaging his radio show, purposefully mumbling unintelligibly at inopportune moments ("Set your oven at [mumbled gibberish] degrees and bake for [more gibberish and a cough] minutes") and throwing inappropriate ingredients into recipe descriptions (“The chili pepper, yeah - it’s really essential, and by the time your sugar cake is finished the taste of the spice will have baked off”). There’s still a sizable chunk of people who see it as comedy, and faithfully tune in every week.]

Have any of you found the trick to getting them to fuck off for good?

video;

Oct. 9th, 2016 02:14 pm
ursawhiner: I fuck the shit out of houses. (I destroyed the shit out of that house!)
[personal profile] ursawhiner
[The video opens up on a familiar attic, with everyone's favourite nerd waving at the camera. For some reason there's what looks like a dummy with its arms raised and a sheet over it. Spooky?]

Hey, everyone! Dipper Pines again. It's October now, which means a bunch of things. Like... pumpkins! Big piles of leaves! Fake skeletons everywhere! I mean, along with the real ones. That... everyone has. Never mind.

Anyways, I'm here to talk to you about ghost protection. Things can get kind of spooky during October but if you're prepared, you won't have anything to worry about. You can focus on costumes and candy corn and... mid-terms. Maybe? Do any imPorts go to college?

First thing! This is a classic supernatural deterrent that you should already have on hand: salt. Basically you just kind of put in a circle around whatever you want to protect from demons or whatever. I don't think it works for really strong ones, but it'll keep most things out. Plus you can just buy the kind you use for salting your driveway.

If you already have a ghost inside your house, the best thing you can try is to trap it in a silver mirror. That part's pretty you just kind of-- [At this point, Dipper makes a sucking sound.] To get rid of it, there's a ritual and stuff. I'll put uh, a link at the bottom. Don't break the mirror or let the ghost talk its way out. For real. You might get turned into a tree.

Okay and seriously, don't do a seance. Ghosts are really annoying and talking to them doesn't do much, plus you're probably just going to end up with more. Silver mirrors are expensive!

That's pretty much it! Let me know if you have any questions, and avoid cursed doors. They either lead to another plane of existence or it's just instant death. You'll know them when you see them.

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