OH MY GOD STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING I HAVE WHACK-A-MOLE.
[ And now that he has your attention, he flips the camera back onto himself. Trickster is wearing a light-up bowtie over a dark blue button-up shirt, as that is what passes for finery to him. Behind him loom several bright, loud arcade games, a dart board, a plastic singing fish spraypainted gold, and — oh god, is that fake? — the taxidermied head of a crocodile wearing giant novelty sunglasses. ]
Goooood evening, my fellow Americans! Before we get too into the touchy-feely family-friendly parts of this holiday season, I have an announcement to make! The Frisky Nickel is (almost) open for business right here in our very own beautiful, muggy Heropa. But what is that, you ask? Well, that’s a darn good question! On top of obviously being a testament to the American spirit of unfettered, devil-may-care, perhaps even reckless entrepreneurship, it’s also a barcade. That’s half-bar, half-arcade, for those of you who aren’t naturally gifted at the whole smashing words together thing. It's okay, it's an art, I know.
Kids, young adults, and those of you without fake IDs: you’re allowed in the non-glug-glug-glug side of the establishment ‘til ten PM. After that things might get a little weird and I’m gonna have to kick you out. No hard feelings, I connect deeply with the emotionally immature, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. I’m not saying I’d consider letting you in with a fake mustache, but I might.
A-ny-who, I might need a couple hands around here, if anyone’s interested in gainful employment. Good at mixing drinks? Got fun ideas for what to do with sacks and sacks of quarters? Have some kind of mysterious other skill you think I should give you money for? Talk to me. I’ll put my job interviewin’ hat on for ya and everything. I don’t actually have a job interviewin’ hat, but I can make out out of balloons if the situation requires it. Just one of my many talents.
Anyway! Stop on by this Friday for the official grand opening! I’ll be handing out free tokens like candy, and handing out deep-fried Skittles, which are actual candy. Kind of.