Apr. 8th, 2016 02:33 pm
runningstart: (ww; can't even say how uncool this is)
[personal profile] runningstart
Arright people, it's crunch time. I need your input on this critical issue: What graduation present should I buy myself?

Here are the options:
A) One pet rat
B) Two pet rats
3) As many discount 'grow your own crystal' science kits as my powerful masculine arms can carry so that I can grow a crystal statue in the likeness of Beyonce Knowles
And D) Two pet rats and a box of donuts for dinner

Also since it's finals season I'm offering my services to help people cram for any of the sciences. I can do up to college year whatever because I'm a genius. My rates are the low low price of buy me dinner.
alreadywon: (red robin! YUMMM)
[personal profile] alreadywon
[Hello, Network. You are being treated to a text post with an ID of “????”. Yes, it just consists of actual question marks.] I’ve been thinking: coming here could be an opportunity for a new start. I’ve spent a lot of time under legacy mantles and I don’t regret it, but maybe it’s time to try something new. I’m just spitballing here, but:

The Gray Ghost. Pros: sounds cool, very few people would remember what it's from. Cons: stupid-looking goggles.

Nightwing. Pros: cool-sounding, no one’s using it right now. Cons: plagiarism, probably couldn’t take previous Nightwing in a fight if he shows up and objects.

Albatross. Pros: bird theme, pre-existing mythology. Cons: depressing, no one has time to explain Rime of the Ancient Mariner in the middle of a fight.

Blackbird. Pros: also bird theme, simple, great song. Cons: ????

Eagletronic. Pros: patriotic, sounds like the name of the robotic bird leader of a team of cartoon kids who Protect Humanity and Learn Valuable Lessons every Saturday morning. Cons: this is a bad superhero name.

Ghostborg. Pros: is probably the nemesis of Eagletronic. They used to be friends, but circumstances forced them onto opposite sides of the law. Cons: I'm just pitching a Saturday morning cartoon now. I think this is why the professionals don't use superhero name generators.

I now open the floor to the distinguished audience for suggestions.
fistofthejoestar: (cause i've been all over)
[personal profile] fistofthejoestar
[well, here's someone who's either been very good at stepping off the grid or has been the victim of some imPort brand shenanigans. either way, Jonathan has some explaining to do - and from the heavy tone of his voice, he's caught up on the general idea of what he missed.]

It seems that the Porter still has a rather impeccable sense of timing.

[ah. that answers that one. the irritation is clear in Jonathan's voice, as is the way that he tries his best to restrain it. this isn't anyone on the network's fault, after all, and letting his frustration slip through won't help anyone. this is just the way things were sometimes.]

I've heard about what happened in Heropa during my absence, and I do hope that you'll all forgive me for being unable to help - and for worrying a great deal of you by seeming to have been caught up in the whole mess, I imagine.

[yeah, he can just imagine. swept away the night before, not returning until a few days after it had all been resolved? that's long enough to make any friend worry that he'd been entrapped by the jungle and then the victim of some supernatural malfunction when it all came crashing down.

he sighs, and you can hear shifting in the background as he runs his hands through his hair. it must be quite the rat's nest by now, with all the nervous energy he's been putting into fidgeting.]

If there's anything I can do now, late as it is, please let me know. And...[his tone lightens now, if only a fraction.]

Thank you, to whoever it is that's been feeding Hyperion while I was away. I'm afraid I'm not used to being swept out of universes or I'd have made arrangements for him myself. I'm certain he's as grateful as I am.

( video )

Jan. 6th, 2016 11:56 pm
bountyless: BOUNTYLESS™ (Default)
[personal profile] bountyless
[ Looks like the newcomers are trickling in, and here's another on your hands. Spike pokes at the device lazily, bleary eyed, chin resting on his fist as he props his head up. He's calm, at least, that languid manner disguising any anxieties that might try to prickle up.

He yawns, ruffling a hand through dark green hair, eyes catching his wrist as he lowers his hand. Invisible now, perhaps, but he remembers what he read.

"Registered hero," huh?

[ He closes his eyes, smiles easily. That will certainly be the day. Why they'd want him, he can't figure out. And right now, he'll keep his questions to himself, even if he has no intentions of actually doing this. This job, this place. In any capacity. ]

I think I'll pass. [ Opening an eye, that smile tightening: ] Thanks for the house keys, though. Very classy. I'll hold onto them for you. Call it safekeeping.
exceptfebruary: calendar man on a snowy cityscape background, with a blank look (February 29th)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
[ The man on the video is bald and pale skinned, with light blue tattoos around his skull reading JANFEBMARAPR (etc), the first three letters of each month. Glimpses of his shoulders reveal he’s wearing a bright red costume with a white date-themed cape. The camera is angled in such a way to give no indication of location other than a blank wall; Julian would prefer not to broadcast that to anyone that might recognize him.

His voice, when he speaks, is cool.

January 6th, 2016.

Today, an appearance, an arrival. My arrival. Unfortunately I didn't bring a gift. Still, I wonder if there are three of us today.

[ Julian's face darkens. The cold, fierce anger in his voice becomes very clear. ]

Perhaps it is fitting, but I would have preferred to remain where I was. I need to finish what I started. Or if not, to return to the City and continue my work there.

But no. I have been brought here, where the winter of politics has not ended. The Cold War’s end date should have happened already. For the Soviet Union, December 26th, 1991 at the latest. Yet the season still lingers.

[ He pauses and plays with his lip, considering. ] A new world. One that does not know the name Calendar Man. I'll have to begin my work anew. The Calendar Man will not be forgotten.

[ Julian looks directly into the camera. ]

I'll make sure this will be an epiphany.


Dec. 27th, 2015 11:53 pm
rideme: (trying to beef up security)
[personal profile] rideme
[It's late in the evening when the text post pops up on the network. With no formalities or ceremony. Just:]

anyone seen charlie ? little blonde wizard guy
offered to enchant crap a while back

[A pause. Is that all you want to say, Bull, or--]

didnt touch the shit i got him for that holiday
cant find him at his usual places

messages wont go through
preciate it if someone's seen him, let me know

[CLICK. There's no more. And Bull will be around his house if anyone wants to talk face-to-face. Because... what the hell. Why this?]

[Why right now?]
takethestairs: (reading material)
[personal profile] takethestairs
Greetings, imPorts. I decided to do some digging into the friends we made this Sunday, and I found some interesting facts.

*Thanks to employment records and government biometrics, all the gun wielders that have been taken into custody were revealed to be members of various PMCs (private military contractors). Eventually they retired from their positions, giving no reason for their departure save a mention of "other opportunities." Afterward they fell off the official radar completely.

*Furthermore, these gun wielders had prior experience in the military, police, or militia groups. They all had a rather shaky relationship with ethics before their departure, and more than a few of them crossed the line into outright criminal behavior; a likely explanation for their change in careers.

*Just because they fell off the radar, that does not mean they remained idle. Interrogations revealed that they were all connected to Ibex International Security Solutions, a PMC based in Amistad, Texas. These men left their positions for Ibex starting in 2008 and continuing until 2015, and considering these mercenaries' previous history, it seems that recruits were valued both for their skill and their lack of inconvenient morals. This also implies a longterm recruitment campaign; whatever they have planned, they have planned it for a very long time.

*Their connections to Ibex, however, remain unofficial. So far we have yet to find any kind of paper trail connecting their activities to the company. If this changes, I will report it as soon as possible.

*While the majority of recruits were U.S. citizens, there was also a significant amount of gunmen from other nations, including: Brazil, France, South Korea, and the United Kingdom. While I cannot say for certain, I think we can safely rule out Soviet involvement in *this* debacle.

*Something interesting popped when investigating the prisoners' records: each and every one of them has made arrangements to be cryogenically preserved upon their death, regardless of how they die. This may have some connection to their longterm goals, though what it is, I cannot say.

This is all I could find so far. If anyone has any additional information on this group or anything related to their attack on Heropa, it would be most appreciated.
timeframes: (pic#9219555)
[personal profile] timeframes
hey its that time again
this special day when a dude turns seventeen and gets fuck all in return for it
seriously though who the fuck decides im somehow arbitrarily just not eligible for shit until our planet flings itself around the goddamn sun one more time
what difference does it
the president peering through his fuckoff huge space telescope or whatever while he decides who can get tatted up or not
turns to the guy writing the constitution and is like yo that SO TIGHT but you gotta see eighteen of those sick tricks before we let you do anything cool
cant be getting a sweet full sleeve of carebears on your arm or BIG DICK BILL directly on your forehead 
until youve supposedly survived a full set of life experiences absolutely every shitbird out there will have somehow before that magic date passes that allows them to make mature and rational decisions
maybe ive got a serious emergency only fireworks or lottery tickets can solve and because some guy whos most definitely dead decided 1000 years ago to pass some sort of moral judgement on me
something to think about

point is
i dont really have a point guess its just been a while since ive actually DONE something to mark the day my diapered ass got slammed into the earth at ten thousand miles an hour
so you could indulge in that time honored tradition of giving into the lull of modern consumerism which states you have to bestow worthless crap on someone for the great feat of continuing to breathe another year
or i guess more practically you could stop by krakatoa and listen to some of my sweet jams since i work there or something
hey thats some free advertising right there
i should be getting paid for that namedrop


Nov. 16th, 2015 04:55 pm
heavyhitter: loud and brash, only eighteen (she is the dancing queen)
[personal profile] heavyhitter
[ Ramir shows up in an obviously planned shot, dead center in a dark room, chin propped up on her hand as she leans on a table. ]

Man, November sucks. Last month we had Halloween, next month we got Christmas, what do we have this month? Just, like… turkeys. The American turkey holiday. Great, I know I can’t fucking wait.

But hang on, don’t despair, I’m here with good news! Coming soon to a Heropa downtown near you: Krakatoa!

[ Cue: lights! They snap on pretty much all at once, and the scene transforms. Suddenly it’s all oranges and reds, tropical and bright and flashy, and clearly the inside of a (currently empty) club. She gestures grandly around her, grinning. ]

What the hell is Krakatoa, you ask? Besides that big volcano that killed a bunch of people like a million years ago? Just the hottest imPort-owned and operated clubstaurant this dimension has ever seen! Show up during the day for some really fucking tasty food — I borrowed the Iceberg’s very best chef, where he wasn’t getting anywhere near the appreciation he should be, and his meals are practically as killer as the eruption was. But then! Hang around into the evening to see the whole thing transform into a dance floor! Still hungry? Don’t worry! I got him chained up in the kitchen to keep churning out the food, there’s insanely tasty appetizers popping out all night.

Also, even better news, I’m still hiring! Looking for snappy dressers who don’t suck — cooks, servers, bar tenders, dancers, whatever. Just get your good-looking butt down here before we open next Friday!

[ There’s a PDF flyer attached with the address and hours, in the same stylish red/orange tropical theme. ]

Oh, yeah, and— imPorts get half off on everything on opening night, then 20% off for the rest of our collective lives, so basically no one here has any excuse not to stop by.

[ private, individually to Jo, Dave, Maine, and Jonathan (Joestar): ]

I mentioned this was happening next week, right? [ didn’t. she definitely didn’t. (but hey at least Jojo is probably mostly on the same page, one out of four isn’t bad) ] Hope your Friday schedule is clear!


Nov. 13th, 2015 10:49 am
dicktate: (pic#9511294)
[personal profile] dicktate
It's that time again where all the pretty new faces start showing up. You are all probably confused, but the only thing you have to know is this face, because I am beautiful.

[ Finger frames. He'll give them a second to take it all in. ]

Remember it, because it will be useful for many reasons.

This face belongs to Jinseok Jin--me--and it is important for you to live. Not just because I am very handsome, but I am also one of the imPort Spokespeople, and to everyone who is pretty and lost, I can help you. Together, me and you, one on one. I can make sure you settle well.

Except if you are ugly, then Ana Ramir will help you.
clownshoes: (93)
[personal profile] clownshoes
 [ hello, dear city.

sora, newly returned and unaware he'd ever been here before, looks Very Serious in the video he's started broadcasting. ]

Hey, guys! My name is Sora, I just got here, and I have a super important question.

[ sora emphasizes his point by making sure to look Even More Serious. ] I get to choose my own hero name? Can I be Awesome Man? 

[ ...

well, sora thinks he's funny!!!

he must, judging by the way he cracks up. ]

action for Heropa #033;

[ and a short time later, the residents of Heropa #033 will get a fun surprise: sora, passed out on their couch. snoozing away like he owns the place...which technically he sort of does now. HAVE FUN TRYING TO WAKE HIM UP. ]
tactile_telekinesis: ([90s] go on)
[personal profile] tactile_telekinesis
Anyone out there throwing a sweet Halloween party should totally throw an invite my way. I am so bored and don't want to spend tonight doing nothing fun.


Oct. 29th, 2015 05:30 pm
wasnever: (Default)
[personal profile] wasnever
[Today on the network: a video starting with an extreme close-up of Sera's face.]

So, this Halloween thing--it's pretty new to me, though we do some things that are sorta similar in Thedas. I really like this holiday, though, and I really love some of the costumes I've seen. [She starts giggling.] Even I wouldn't've thought of making some of these things all sexed up. It's friggin' funny as hell!

Think I picked a good one?

[Sera then offers everyone a view of herself wearing the sexy corn costume.]

Really hard choice, though. Laughed my arse off the whole time I was trying to pick one. They look silly enough to go out and play hero in. [With a mischievous grin, she does her best dramatic announcer voice.] "And thus, the day was saved by Sexy Lobster."
tardily: (pic#9651398)
[personal profile] tardily
[ in front of barry is a rather large bowl of candy. it's clear that some candy ( half the bowl ) has been eaten and not just because barry happens to be eating some right when the video starts. call it him getting in the halloween spirit via candy meant for other people. he'll buy some more later. ]

Halloween is in two days, if I haven't forgotten a day or two or it isn't the wrong day. I know a reasonable amount of us are adults who are too adult to dress up or if we do dress up it's just for maybe a costume party. And those of us who aren't, just don't want to dress up or think they're too mature for it.

[ barry pauses to eat yet another chocolate bar before continuing. ]

But I like to think some of us are kids at heart. You don't have to have superheroes at home, it can apply to just here. Maybe you're a superhero at home and have other ones you just like enough to have thought about what I'm to ask.

My question is one that I only have a chance to ask around Halloween without it being weird and off topic. How many of you have wanted to dress up as a superhero before? And if you already were a superhero, have you ever wanted to dress up as another one. Just for Halloween or a costume party or whatever.

[ a pause and another candy bar is eaten. ]

You don't have to answer if you're too mature but if I'm willing to admit as a 25 year old that I've wanted to do that even today, I think some of you can admit it too. You could even do it on private, I won't tell a soul because it's a little rude to tell other people's secrets. I just want to know because Halloween's supposed to be fun, and it sounds like a fun thing to do.


Oct. 28th, 2015 11:43 pm
malodorous: <user name="hikaranko"> (let me warn you)
[personal profile] malodorous
[ Any available audience is treated to an odd upshot of Kristoff Bjorgman, the camera rising and falling and swaying slightly as the (rather amateurish) cinematographer plods along beside his companion. The less anybody realizes that the phone's being held in a reindeer's mouth, though, the better. Aside from the click-clacking of hooves on pavement, Sven actually manages relative silence while Kristoff speaks.

Lit by an old-fashioned oil lantern held before him, the scene painted is decently dramatic. As usual, though, he ruins it with a bumbling start. ]

So, uh. There's this Halloween thing again, which I still don't really get, but... Anyway, I work at giving people "ghost tours" now, have for a while, and the whole thing's great for business. I don't think that was the point of turning this thing on, though.

[ So what was it? Hm. ]

Well, I just-- I was wondering about scary stories, and how they're the same and how they're different. I thought it'd be, y'know, fun. To tell them. Or lay them out. Or however you want to say it.

So I'll trade you one-for-one, and maybe the scariest story gets a prize or something.
promotional: (not bad not bad)
[personal profile] promotional
[It's been a while since Rhys addressed the network at large, but he's lost a couple—friends? That robot, that other maybe-robot. That disconcerting emotion known as loneliness is starting to seep in around the edges. And sure, no problem, he could reach out to certain folks and know they'd show up. The Pines twins are startlingly reliable if you don't mind being the creepy older man hanging out with children, and there's always Harley if he can catch her ear. But right now he's attempting to branch out. Network, as it were. And he's not thinking about the friend that betrayed him back in his home universe or the many ways this could go wrong.

He is thinking positively and putting on his best, most polished smile.]

So, I've been doing a little internet searching and I've found a couple day spas that do the full deal—facials, manis, pedis—and you're thinking, Rhys. Rhys, dude. C'mon. You really want to spend your whole day getting pampered and waited on hand and foot? Not very, uh. 'Manly' of you.

[A sympathetic expression. All well-maintained and pushed in eyebrows. All a slim set to his lips.]

And I'd say, 'yes, sir or ma'am. That sounds great.' But most of these places have group deals, so I'm looking for someone or someones who feel the same. You can respond here, email me, text—whatever's easy. Thanks.
matadorable: (💀 ♮ Take Five)
[personal profile] matadorable
[It's hard to type with little stone fingers, so he's trying to use the voice function for the first time.

Too bad he accidentally activates the video option instead. And also makes this public. Oops.

The communicator shakes, and though the image isn't entirely clear, anyone watching can see couple of dark sockets with glowing pupils and what appears to be a skull with ornate carvings and distinctive hair. Sunlight spills through what seem to be leaves in the background, and it's obvious the person on the screen is crouched down somewhere, trying to hide. He's not looking directly into the camera.]

Hey. Joaquin. It's me, Manolo. So, uhhh...[How do you even put this.]

Funny story! You know how I said my powers were music-based? That's actually half of what I can do. I can also do something else. I think it keeps me from dying, which as far as powers go? Not a bad one, if I do say so myself! [Because he's already dead in this form, but like hell he's going to say that, hah hah hahhh.....

Maybe if he sounds upbeat enough he can bullshit his way through this.]

The only downside is that people shouldn't see me. Don't ask why, it's just...a power thing, you know? So maybe you could come down here with, like, a...sheet? Just toss it in my general direction, and we'll be good to go. Everyone will think I am dressed as a ghost. Perfect disguise, yes?

[He is grinning really hard and hoping all this optimism and false confidence will be enough. But then he notices something and now he's looking at the communicator like it just ran him through with a sword.]

Oh no...

[Oh yes. And now everyone can see exactly what this power actually is. Good job, Manny!]
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
October is in full thrust. Be sure to stock up on all your pumpkin spice flavored goodies! You never know when your local food dispenser may just discover that their supplies got... Squashed.

Congratulations to JINSEOK JIN and ANA RAMIR, who have been chosen from the September Swearing-In to be our official imPort Spokespeople! In probably unrelated news, this poster has been plastered all over Heropa and the Ambassador lodgings in the three other imPort cities.

Seen in the hippest Young Adult magazines, talked about on NPR, seen on day time television, and found where ever books are sold:
A new imPort-penned book has hit the shelves! One Year Posthumous is the personal account of a young woman faced with a sometimes-difficult second chance in a new world. Native teenagers are eating it up and reviews are generally positive, with many (up to daytime television hosts, even!) speculating as to the author's true identity. Buy a copy for yourself and see if it moves you. Or just try to figure out if you know this spotlight-shy author.

Due to the communicator glitch that occurred on October 3rd, the NSA has requested funding for an investigation. The continual threat of Russian hackers may have saw an opportunity -- or may have even been the cause -- of this apparent malfunctioning. This was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.

Senator Haik has taken ill quite suddenly and remains in hospital, in an undisclosed location.

The Nonah Ambassador Election will be held THIS OCTOBER 19TH. Voting booths will be accessible for every imPort who is not A CRIMINAL, this includes imPorts who are legally minors. Must be 18 or over to run for office.

Raina and Francis Ewan Urquhart. Thank you for running, you noble patriots!

The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VERMILLION to TANGERINE in response to overwhelming pumpkins.

The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
glowsferatu: sad, thought, smile (In The Midst Of Life We Are In Death)
[personal profile] glowsferatu
hope can be such a fickle thing

ive lived my life without it for years and it chooses now of all times to barrel its way back in
but none of that makes it fit in the environment
its only like an ice cube trying to enjoy a summers day

even when im staring at it in front of me i cant seem to conquer the idea that it isnt mine
that im not the one who gets a happy ending its only being borrowed from someone else
another me from another timeline who things progressed more happily for
another me who could look at this and actually feel like shes earned it

i dont know what to do with this feeling
except to know its made a fool of me

[ She includes a photo taken on her desk, some weird black ball covered in candy corn spikes. Is it a Halloween decoration? ]

im going to be a mother after all

004; video

Sep. 24th, 2015 01:03 am
bassriff: (Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ)
[personal profile] bassriff
[Oh hey, it's Marceline! Apparently. The camera's not really pointed at her.

Instead it's at a weird sort-of-upwards angle, showing high pines and a clear starry night. She's well away from the city, wherever she is. Off-screen, she's strumming a certain riff.

I feel so stuck here. Not... here, here. This is, like - I think I'm in Washington State? - I mean in this world. But I've never stayed in one place this long. Not in... well, it's been a while, anyway. A long while. I'm pretty sure I've already seen most of the cool junk in this country. [She trails off, mentally moving her comm so people can see her. She's got her ax-bass in her grip, and she's leaned up against some wolves, all resting and half-asleep. They're definitely comfortable with her, anyway.

She looks a little worse for wear - hair even wilder than usual - probably with a few twigs or leaves in it - dirt all over, some scuffs and rips in her clothes. And is that some dried blood smeared around her mouth? Might be. A little bit. ... Yes. IT'S NOT HUMAN BLOOD OKAY. Red stuff is hard to come by out here. All in all, another reckless adventure, one she's been out on for a few days now. She's been vanishing on trips like this more and more since she got hit with fear toxin, flying out somewhere into the wilderness. Somewhere, anywhere she can be alone.

Marceline finally stops playing, wiping at her mouth. She's unfocused, venting.

I shouldn't need anyone's permission to travel where I want, and I'm definitely not a hero. Never have been. Some of you peeps saw that last month. [When she attacked a bunch of people during Fearfest.] I just want to be an artist. Go where the wind takes me.

[She's quiet for a long moment, tilting her head back to look at the sky and sprawling her arms out over two of her wolf buddies.]

... They're gonna blow themselves up, and I don't wanna be here when it happens. [Again.] Come on, any of you brainlords any closer to getting us home? Is Lachesis feeling chatty?


maskormenace: (Default)