hsalf: (blah blah speedforce)
[personal profile] hsalf
[When the video starts, the man in front of the camera very much looks like Harrison Wells. A man who recorded a few days earlier. However anyone who checks the username will see a clearly different name. He isn't looking at the camera when it begins recording, instead looking to the side for a moment. Once he focuses onto the camera he'll have a glass of what looks to be scotch.]

Okay. So this is going to be...odd. Odd even for what is commonplace here. I'd like you keep an open mind, if you decide to watch and respond.

My name...is Eobard Thawne. And I've been here before. For several months actually. However, during that time, I addressed myself under a different name: Harrison Wells. I was a professor at Heropa University in Kinematics. I knew a number of you. Not all, not possible given the situation, but a number.

[He takes a small, but slow, sip of his drink. It's hard to tell if he savors it or not from his expression.]

The reason I hid my identity was for personal security. You see, I happen to be a time traveler. And being a time traveler means blending into society and keeping myself hidden, out of fear of altering time. Even in this dimension, I felt the need to hide so I could keep myself secure for when I made my return home.

So now I come forward, in my return here, because there is no going back for me. ...I'm dead, and it's the type of dead I will not soon revive from. It's quite permanent. And while I could go on, using this name, the man whose identity I claimed is here now. Smart man - not as smart as I am, but smart - and I would hate for him to be so troubled. Plus it would just be...confusing.

[He takes a moment to chuckle to himself, taking another sip of the drink before setting it down. Calm and without any erratic stumbles in his words. Not at all like the man people may have saw a few days ago introducing himself.]

I apologize if you're hearing this and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. I felt this was the best place to make things straight. If you feel betrayed by this, then feel betrayed. I make no apologies, I only bring clarity.
icebear: (٩ʕ•͡וʔ۶)
[personal profile] icebear
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ This is Ice Bear.

Ice Bear is new, and therefor needs to know where other bears can be found.

Not zoo bears. These bears*: 🐻 🐼

Ice Bear has no money. Will cook as payment.

Also, new housemates; Ice Bear sleeps in the fridge. Food was in the way.


*may not be bears.

Video [1]

May. 11th, 2016 02:46 pm
harrisonwells: (068)
[personal profile] harrisonwells
[When the screen blinks on, the sender—lanky, black sweater, glasses being slipped off—is already centered and ready for it, clearly very familiar with the technology already, and he starts speaking immediately, quick and terse as if this is already taking up too much of his time.]

Good evening imPorts, my name is Dr. Harrison Wells. It is a...supreme...irony that I'm asking this, but to those of you who left your worlds as ordinary humans and arrived here with new abilities.

[There's a pause, Harrison's fingers tapping lightly against his lips, as he considers the reception he'd experienced on his arrival. Not cold, not remotely, but…knowing. Everyone he's seen in Heropa seems to know what he is, and that's...new. New and unpleasant. And he's reluctantly beginning to understand what the metahumans in Central City had gone through, being watched and whispered about.

He catches sight of the tattoo on his wrist, a very faint glow under the skin, and abruptly twitches his sleeve back down to cover it.

How do you cope?]
I'm curious how you mastered them.

[It's a much more dismissive tone than the beginning of that sentence, very clearly not what he'd originally intended to say. The glasses go back on and he moves to switch off the transmission, then taps his finger against the edge of the screen, speculative.]

And as I will apparently be spending my time here making science fun and accessible for kids, I anticipate needing copious amounts of coffee. And I am...taking recommendations. On the best fast food in the area. Also anyone who understands a reference to STAR Labs and/or Central City.

[He looks like he’s going to add something else, then rethinks it. The screen blinks to black without another word.]
jade_knight: (AS: Stare Straight Ahead)
[personal profile] jade_knight
[The video feed crackles for a minute before it comes to life on a blonde-haired, green-eyed man. He seems calm, composed, sure of himself. Sure, he's a new face and the surroundings are obviously new, but if he's thrown by any of it, he's not showing it on his face.]

Hello. I'm Alan Scott. [He pauses, realizing that the name may not really mean something to the people here. Back home, he's well known - a public figure both as Alan Scott and Green Lantern, though very few people know that the two are one. He hopes to keep that situation the same here.] There's been plenty of these introductions over the past few hours, I know. Just in case, though, if Jay Garrick or Kendra Munoz-Saunders or Khalid Ben-Hassin are here - hey. I am too. Reach out. If those names are familiar to anyone, I'd appreciate you reaching out to me as well. 

In the meantime, I'm in Heropa, working as a...decorative garden planner. [There's the briefest hint of a smirk to his face. All things considered, that's ironic.] That promises to be interesting. 

If anyone here can suggest a few good places to get a drink, and suggest some of the more Wonder-friendly publications and news outlets, I'd appreciate it. Best to get familiar with one's new surroundings, right? [He pauses again and looks down at something, presumably notes that he's written out.] Right. Wonders. That's my world's term for what you call superheroes here. [It was the first clue that this world was very, very clearly different from his own. The other was this whole Cold War thing with the Russians. Back home, they dealt with aliens and alien gods. This seemed...retro, in comparison. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, though.]

So, right. Okay. That's it for now then. Thank you. And hey, if anyone needs a particularly lush, well-decorated garden, well...you know where to find me.

[For now, anyway. He hoped, eventually, to bring his media company to life here, if such a thing were possible.]

001 video;

May. 7th, 2016 07:28 pm
trigeminalheadache: (210-009)
[personal profile] trigeminalheadache
[ The video feed focuses in on an auburn haired woman, perched primly on the edge of her seat, clearly unable to relax. She reaches out to stop the video without speaking, hesitates, and withdraws with a sigh. ]

I'm certain I'm not the first to raise this complaint, or even the tenth, or the hundredth. And I know I'm not going to be the last. But -- [ There's a quirk of her lips, a dip of her head, as if to say I'm still going to say it. ] It's incredibly disturbing to wake up in a different world and find you've been given a tattoo. [ Of course, it's probably not any better than what had just happened to her, too. Kidnapped to a different world. But with shackles instead of a tattoo. ] Like a bad movie about an even worse road trip, except these aren't your friends and you aren't going back to your normal life in two hours.

[ That piece said, there's a ease in her shoulders. A little relaxation. Just a little. ]

Aside from college towns, I've never really lived anywhere but Central City. So, I'm all ears. Tell me about Heropa.


Apr. 8th, 2016 02:33 pm
runningstart: (ww; can't even say how uncool this is)
[personal profile] runningstart
Arright people, it's crunch time. I need your input on this critical issue: What graduation present should I buy myself?

Here are the options:
A) One pet rat
B) Two pet rats
3) As many discount 'grow your own crystal' science kits as my powerful masculine arms can carry so that I can grow a crystal statue in the likeness of Beyonce Knowles
And D) Two pet rats and a box of donuts for dinner

Also since it's finals season I'm offering my services to help people cram for any of the sciences. I can do up to college year whatever because I'm a genius. My rates are the low low price of buy me dinner.


Mar. 23rd, 2016 08:27 pm
airshow: (I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.)
[personal profile] airshow
If you could anonymously mail one person a huge box of glitter, who would it be and why?

[ A blond in a very special hat and shutter shades is hanging out in a brightly lit tiki bar, sipping on the world's most obnoxious looking drink.]

Also, hey, in case the hat didn't tip you off, it's my birthday! And because I'm feeling generous, drinks are on me. Stop on by [ he flashes the menu, featuring a cartoon parrot next to the name of the bar ] and bring me presents. Or just help me figure out what to do with this pony I rented? He answers to Poptart and I'm pretty sure he grants wishes.

[ There is, in fact, a Shetland pony with a unicorn horn strapped to its head wandering around the bar. It's covered in glitter. Please save it. ]

[ the accompanying log, open to all! ]
alreadywon: (red robin! YUMMM)
[personal profile] alreadywon
[Hello, Network. You are being treated to a text post with an ID of “????”. Yes, it just consists of actual question marks.] I’ve been thinking: coming here could be an opportunity for a new start. I’ve spent a lot of time under legacy mantles and I don’t regret it, but maybe it’s time to try something new. I’m just spitballing here, but:

The Gray Ghost. Pros: sounds cool, very few people would remember what it's from. Cons: stupid-looking goggles.

Nightwing. Pros: cool-sounding, no one’s using it right now. Cons: plagiarism, probably couldn’t take previous Nightwing in a fight if he shows up and objects.

Albatross. Pros: bird theme, pre-existing mythology. Cons: depressing, no one has time to explain Rime of the Ancient Mariner in the middle of a fight.

Blackbird. Pros: also bird theme, simple, great song. Cons: ????

Eagletronic. Pros: patriotic, sounds like the name of the robotic bird leader of a team of cartoon kids who Protect Humanity and Learn Valuable Lessons every Saturday morning. Cons: this is a bad superhero name.

Ghostborg. Pros: is probably the nemesis of Eagletronic. They used to be friends, but circumstances forced them onto opposite sides of the law. Cons: I'm just pitching a Saturday morning cartoon now. I think this is why the professionals don't use superhero name generators.

I now open the floor to the distinguished audience for suggestions.


Mar. 12th, 2016 09:26 pm
wizzardly: He's six inches high and lives in a mushroom (Of course he's a bloody gnome)
[personal profile] wizzardly
[The first thing to come over the feed will be a too-close shot of a handmade sign before the wizard gets the right angle to show his face and the small park behind him in Nonah. He appears to be Unhappy.]

Right, okay, was I not legible enough, do you think? Should I have offered translations? I consider myself rather patient on the whole, but when some idiot - for the third time in two days - takes a clear warning and turns it into an invitation to create the sort of disaster which loses me my job, I get the feeling this blasted sign is doing more harm than good. So let's just make something clear, shall we?

This - [the video shifts for a moment to show a wooden trunk on legs, running full tilt behind him after a few terrified squirrels] - is not a pet! It is certainly not some sort of tame training dummy for empty-headed fighters to test their skills on. It is a monstrosity crafted of sapient pearwood, and when it feels its owner, who happens to be me, is being attacked, it eats people. No stern warnings, no shining letterheads or gentle taps on the shoulder, just death. Maybe missing fingers or a quick trampling, if they're lucky.

Am I making myself clear enough? Try to hurt me, this man right here, and my magical box will murder you, and I will watch.

[a pause.]

...Provided I have not already run away.

[Rincewind nods sharply, then takes off his sign and throws it in a trash can.]

There. I've officially done all I can do, I've said my piece, this is no longer my responsibility. [he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.] Honestly, I don't understand how it was so difficult to understand in the first place. You see a sign telling you not to do something - who then thinks 'Oh, well surely they don't mean that for me?' I swear, no matter where I find myself, it seems I'm always the only sane man arou -

[there's the loud crack of splintering wood and the sound of several screaming members of the rodent family. Rincewind (and the video) looks behind him to see that the Luggage has knocked down a large oak tree in its pursuit of the squirrels. His face drains of color.]

Oh bugger - !
princeofrats: (he was my favourite!)
[personal profile] princeofrats
[ There's a new face on the network tonight! Viewers are getting an extreme close-up of the newcomer's eye, then his face, and then the new guy at large once he holds the communicator out at arm's length. Dude is shirtless, and, uh... wearing a bandana on his head that makes him look kinda like he has mouse ears. The name that comes up on the device is 'Jayden Revell'. ]

Virtue, Katharsis, Vengeance Moth, Tremor, Burden! If any of you are out there, come find me! I dunno where you are and none of the rats here know what you guys smell like, so I can't find you! I'm at... uhm... [he falters slightly, and the camera wobbles as Mouse turns to glance behind him. ] ... The lady in the car said this was Heropa, and there's a... there's a bike shop next door. They sell bikes.

[ Suddenly, the camera pulls back and away from Mouse, settling a few feet away from him in an angled downshot that clearly shows the head of the alleyway he's crouched in, along with the nearest street signs. Something that looks suspiciously like a rat's tail flicks in front of the screen, and Mouse brightens up immediately. ]

Thanks, Benjamin!

... Okay, it'll probably be a while 'til my friends get here, so I should introduce you guys - anybody watching, I mean - to some new friends I made in the meantime. [ Mouse settles down into a cross-legged sitting position, and two giant, hairy sewer rats crawl up and over his shoulders to rest in his palms. He holds each of them up in turn. ]

This is Mrs. Nesbit! And this is her cousin, Hebert. He wanted to be fancy today, so I made him a bowtie out of a gum wrapper. [ The rat is, indeed, wearing a bowtie. He's very dapper. ] ... And they wanted to say they'd be very grateful if you'd stop putting poison traps inside your restaurants, okay? You wouldn't like getting poisoned if you were just trying to eat, right? Nobody likes barfing.

... Okay, that's all. I'm done now. [Click!]
defensebonds: (✪ ᴛᴡᴏ)
[personal profile] defensebonds
[ To some, the blond hair and chiseled jawline that shows up in the video feed might be familiar—either because they knew him in his last go around here, or in some element or another from their own worlds. To others, he just seems like a particularly clean-cut guy wearing a plain cotton t-shirt and an sympathetic look in his eye. He's been playing a bit of catch-up on what he's missed during his absence; none of it has been good. ]

Seems you guys've been keepin' yourselves busy.

[ It wasn't his choice, but he feels damned lousy for not being here anyway. Not much he can do about that now, but he can at least try to catch up: ]

I'm gonna be at the Lucky Cat Café all afternoon; anyone that wants to drop by for a smoothie, it's on me.

[ Yes, that even includes you, random citizen he's never met; Steve's just that kind of guy. He hesitates a moment, then adds with a nod— ]

Good to be back.

[[ To come claim a free smoothie, feel free to hit up Steve's open log here! ]]
showybusiness: (YOU GO ALPHYS!!)
[personal profile] showybusiness
[ There's a ridiculously good-looking, well-polished and styled android on the screen. Or is it an android? For some folks who have - SOMEHOW - not heard of him or seen him, Mettaton looks feminine enough to be mistaken for a lady robot. The flawless metal-safe eyeliner, purple gradient eyeshadow and lip gloss doesn't help, but dang.

He gives a thousand-watt smile, giving a cute little wave at the camera while winking, his voice silky, a little campy, but clearly male - and with a noticeable synthetic, artificial sound to it. Tinny, almost. Like when a computer's text-to-voice program is used, but not nearly as flat and unsexy. ]

Welcome to MTT-Brand Vlogs, number one! Goodness, it's like I get to talk to my diary rather than write it! I like this little charming piece of technology. If only I could do a bit more editing... and having guests on is a little tougher, maybe? Hmm. These are all just usual little bumps and kinks to work out, aren't they, darlings?

Aaaaaanyway! It seems you surfacers are requiring a bit of education and introduction to monster culture. It's funny, you know - in monster history, for hundreds of years, we learned about how humans sealed us underground, blah blah blah. But up here, nobody knows! Did your historians cover it all up? I know they're a LOT more fond of pumping out bad cartoons rather than telling that story.

I'll forgive you, though, because you're all so cute. And I'm here to promote things! So, if you want to do the right thing and help a handsome, sexy robot from the monster world, you SHOULD check out the tv show he's hosting! That's right, darlings from all over the world: GLAM CAM! Is the imPort Gossip Show, and I, the gorgeous Mettaton, will be hosting it every week! Lots of juicy little secrets and embarrassments are waiting to be put out onto the stage!

See you soon, darlings!

[ He blows a little kiss at the viewer, batting his long, perfect eyelashes. ]
maskormods: (⒉)
[personal profile] maskormods

As seen in local and national newspapers via press release:
There's a new musical taking Broadway by storm. It's called Franklin!, and is a musical portrait of the Founding Father Benjamin Franklin. No children are allowed; the lead actor is nude for the majority of the show.

The first performance was dedicated to imPort Kitty Jones, who happens to be one of director Miranda Lynne Manwell's favorite people.

As seen reblogged on Rumblr, Instagraham, and Bwitter:
Photos of ImPorts in various mundane or silly circumstances or poses tagged with #weapon are spreading from rumblr to other social media platforms in response to the war Russia declared on the United States. The Government released a recent broadcast to the network that hinted that it only viewed imPorts as ‘weapons’. With the success of the imPorts' recent mission, and the idea that they had the fewest amount of casualties seen in a mission op, are they really weapons? Or are they people?

An online rumormonger has outed locals Vanessa McInnis, arcade employee, and Pink Princess producer Jocelyn Jamison as part of the photographic culprits along with imPorts Maya Fey, girl-next-door, and alleged Vampire Queen Marceline Abadeer. But could this been nothing more than a smear campaign? Who else is involved?

As seen on BlueTube:
Have you heard about the dazzling Heropan imPort singing sensations? Two talented imPorts were spotted at a local karaoke hot spot in Heropa earlier in the month, singing like angels. Other patrons captured several videos of Barry Allen and Cisco Ramon singing and dancing their way through a number of 80s hits, and several fansites dedicated to them have since popped up in the week following. Will we hear more from this talented twosome? Their growing fanbase certainly hopes so!

As seen reported in international news and major national newspapers:
President Freemason has declared that an additional $2,000,000,000 will be invested in NASA's space weaponry expansion program to compete with growing fears of Soviet cosmic advancement. The recent Soviet aggression is not to be taken lightly, says White House spokesperson Veronica Jupiter. The United States will double down on defense efforts, beginning from the top down.

As seen listed in The New York Times Shortlist and heard on Public Radio Book Reviews:
Doctor Frederick Chilton's brand new psychiatric text The Methodical Walter White will debut on February 13th, 2016. The fascinating case study of imPort chemist turned kingpin Walter White examines how power and influence can provoke latent personality disorders -- specifically that of malignant narcissism.

"Walt was as much as a villain within a tragedy as he was the tragedy itself," said Doctor Chilton in an interview. "Narcissism has a corrosive quality to it, and eventually things that Walt sincerely cherished, things and people, began to disintegrate. Metaphorically, of course. This extended to his own perception to the point that the more control he attained, the more he felt out of control."

The Methodical Walter White can be found in hard copy wherever books are sold, or digitally for convenience.

As seen on the local Nonah news:
The city of Nonah welcomes the sudden influx of dentists with bright smiles! Over the past couple of weeks dozens of dentists and their perfectly normal families have moved into the area.

"Thank you for the warm welcome," said new resident and longtime dentist Boris Smith. "I really cannot wait to open my practice here. Nonah is like the best of all possible worlds for my family and myself, we are very happy to be here."

Mrs. Natasha Smith has already begun her beautiful homemaking. Her hydrangeas, it should be noted, are miraculous.

As seen on the 24-hour national news cycle and in brief on the international news cycle:
Secretary of Defense Janice Sublime took to primetime air on Wednesday night. Secretary Sublime officially offers the gratitude of a nation to the imPort diplomats, rescues, leaders, and warriors who had so boldly fought against Soviet hostility and brutality.

"You are all truly heroes," she said. "You have proven that swiftly and bravely. The sadistic efforts of the Soviet regime have come to naught, and they would do well to understand that imPorts are our citizens, and our friends."

Secretary Sublime reminds those who had survived the hostage crisis that crisis counselors and other health resources have been made available for imPort use, should anyone require that aid.

The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from TWILIGHT to DAWN, because it looks as if we are past the worst of our darkest hour, citizens!

The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
nervousrex: (010)
[personal profile] nervousrex
[ okay. she's been dwelling on this post for two days now, and if she keeps deleting and rewriting parts of it it's NEVER going to get posted. she has to say this somewhere, right? and, well - maybe this is a good thing. new beginnings, new first impressions - she can make this work!

all she's got to do is paste in the address.

Hey there, everyone!
My name's Alphys, and I'm a new imPort here.
To be honest, it's a little overwhelming.
I've never really done something like this before...

But as long as we're all working together,
I know it'll work just fine! :)

have an ooc cut for 800 words of garbage i just typed w h o o p s )
Just knock, and even if I'm not around my roommate should be able to answer!
Let's do our best together, everyone!

Oh, and don't pay any attention to the hero name.
I didn't understand what they were asking me for - LOL!

[ oh, thank god. she's finally got the address pasted in. she closes her eyes, hits the send button and immediately shut the communicator off, taking a good long breath once it's done. she'll look at it in a bit - right now, she needs some recovery time. ]
causational: (going hot so hot just like an oven)
[personal profile] causational
[It's his second post, and Eddie's a lot more composed than last time, set up in front of the camera wearing a suit, tie, and a small smile.]

Hey everyone.

[A pause, and a slight hesitation. A fidget. Then he takes a deep breath, and throws himself into it.]

I've been kidnapped before. Snatched out of my regular life by someone stronger than I was, and held against my will for a while. So I know that, even after you get free, it can really mess with your sense of security. For a while, I was looking over my shoulder, just waiting to get snatched again.

[A pause, and he takes a deep breath, holds it for a second, glancing away, looking anywhere but the camera, and then he faces it head on, and keeps going.]

Before I came here, I was a Detective in the Central City Police Department, and here, I'm working in security. My name is Eddie Thawne. And this is a standing offer to anyone who was kidnapped, who feels unsafe and doesn't have someone else to call. If you need a walk home, someone to talk to, or an escort somewhere, just give me a call.
tardily: (pic#9927452)
[personal profile] tardily
[ Barry knows fully well that this question should be asked over video or over voice, but with how things can be and how he knows might react to some answers, it's probably safer to just stay with text for now. ]

Does anyone believe that there's people you're just supposed to meet? I don't know if I'd call it fate, but I mean the idea that there are just some people you're supposed to know no matter what. That the universe or universes figure out a way to make everything line up even if it really shouldn't. Or it makes no sense for it to happen and yet it does anyway.

I know asking this is weird considering what happened earlier this month but...I went home and when I got back I started thinking about it. That maybe here you meet people you're supposed to and maybe at home you do and if you're lucky they somehow intersect. It's cheesy, but...sometimes you just have to wonder if certain things are supposed to be fixed in your life.
hsalf: e.t. (hello agent starling I MEAN barry)
[personal profile] hsalf
I have to say, if any week got skipped for me due to a porter - I'm glad it was last week. [He smiles grimly, not amused by his statement, and sighs.] It's been some time since I've last addressed everyone, so I'll reintroduce myself: Dr. Harrison Wells, Heropa University professor in Kinematics. If anyone wishes to attend a science lecture for free, I open my lectures to the imPort public so long as you're respectful of the enrolled students and don't cause havoc.

[The last part in particular is especially pronounced in his voice, almost like a warning. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes, letting the same hand shake his hair a bit between his fingers, before continuing on.]

I understand we have a lot of new people coming in, as is usual around here. December was quiet, terrorist attacks aside, but things seem "back to normal." Large scale destruction by imPorts, people confused and scared...etcetera.

I've been here close to seven months and I have to be honest: things can be better here. We can all be better. Yet if we don't start to make changes, then people like Crane and Pan will continue to cause destruction and leave us picking up the rubble after. Oh and don't worry about them popping in to gloat about how oh so special they are, and how we can never best them, because I locked this communication away from their eyes.

[He rolls his eyes and takes a breath before continuing.]

I believe new measures need to be taken to protect ourselves and to prevent other imPorts from causing chaos. Something that can work within the confines of the government that we are, on some level - like it or not, an essential part of. Surely we hold more leverage than we even know because this country would be likely ravaged without us by this point, and surely the government isn't fond of Heropa being attacked twice in the span of a month's time.

I have my own ideas, but I would like to hear what others think of what I'm saying first. I know many people here may not be fans of preventative measures, acting instead of reacting, but if we do nothing...people like Crane and Pan won't be satisfied. They enjoy the deranged things they do and they know how to make it hurt. Don't think catching them will help when the government's idea of punishment is a slap on the wrist.

For starters - prison reformation should be key.

[And he knows something about holding dangerous superpowered criminals in spaces where they can't be a threat to anyone around them.]
causational: (hey baby we don't mind)
[personal profile] causational
[The video shakes a little bit as Eddie sets the phone up on the table in front of him, trying to get it stable and recording evenly. Pulling his hands back, he lifts them both, takes a deep breath, then lets it go, sitting heavily in the seat so he can look directly at the camera.]

Okay, there we go.

[Eddie looks more than a little harried, stressed out - his top button is undone and his tie is a little loose. But he puts his hands down on the desk, flat, very carefully, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.]

It has been a rough few days, so I'm sorry if I'm a little...weird.

[He shifts his hands against the table, fingers twitching a little, and somehow the slight vibration knocks over a bottle of soda visible in the corner of the recording. The bottle lands on its side, and the cap pops off, soda spraying across the surface of the table. Eddie jumps back in his chair, knocks the table leg, and hisses a noise of pain as his knee collides with wood.

The phone topples over, face down in the soda.]

Dammit! How the hell did that even happen?

[A few moments of quiet, aside from Eddie cursing under his breath, and the phone is picked up - the video's blocked as he wipes off the phone with what appears to be a piece of paper towel. When the recording resumes, he's holding it in his hand and looking more irritated than harried, the whole feed streaked with sticky soda residue. He shakes his head and sighs heavily.]

There has to be someone out there with tips on how to get control of this stupid ability. Or preferably, to just turn it off.

[Glancing over his shoulder, he steps back a little and the feed skews as he stumbles over the soda bottle and topples over backward.]

Owww...what the-

[The feed flicks off.]

[OOC: Responses will come after he's sorted himself out and turned the feed back on.]


Jan. 12th, 2016 10:49 am
helpline: (glasses: doctor cool)
[personal profile] helpline
[ The video clicks on and it's the Doctor, grinning like a madman. He's wearing a pair of sunglasses that...kind of make him look stupid, but if that's the case, he doesn't recognize it. Instead, he gives the camera a little wave. ]

Hello there! Doctor Disco here, back from a brief vacation, glad to see that everybody got the forest thing sorted out. [ he's keeping his tone light and cheerful, probably to hide the fact that his brief vacation back home was SLIGHTLY SOUL CRUSHING and that his getting brainwashed in Peter Pan's forest was ALSO KIND OF SOUL CRUSHING. ]

Anyway, two things! First! Remember that bit a month or so ago where a lot of people swapped powers? Well, during the storming of the castle, I managed to poke around in the computer files and picked up some lovely info on the people who made that mess in the first place. They're the Cain Cabal and, surprising no one, they want immortality. [ the Doctor can't help but roll his eyes. When he speaks next, it's with the authority of someone who kind of messed up a lot of things by making someone immortal. ] Rule of thumb, any one who wants immortality doesn't deserve it. Rule of thumb two, just don't give people immortality to begin with, it never ends up well. Anyway, there's a lot more boring stuff about nanotech and the Porter so I'll just attach that in a different link.

Second! Clairvoyant! Hello there, me again, you were right about birds by the way, top marks! I wish you could have added in a little bit about the Fisher King but well, nobody's perfect.

Third! [ didn't he just say there were two things ] Mabel! Mabel, Mabel, Mabel. Remember how we were talking about the sonic screwdriver? Well, popped back home for a little bit, don't have it anymore, but I have the next best thing. [ And here, he taps the edges of his sunglasses with both hands, giving the camera a big, toothy ridiculous grin. ] Wearable tech. It's cutting edge, new technology, goes great with every outfit. Just watch...

[ The sunglasses make a little sonicy noise and the video turns off. Attached to this post, is a more Doctory write-up of this information from the power swap plot in December, complete with editorial comments from the Doctor, mostly along the lines of being sarcastic at the soldiers. ]
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[This Christmas Eve, the underprivileged children of Heropa are getting presents delivered to them by Pied Piper the elf and Trickster the reindeer.(not pictured: obnoxious blinking Rudolph nose). Behind the two of them is a large bag of presents, hovering in midair, balanced on a floating shoe. Weird. But apparently there’s enough room in their schedule for for a little PSA, as well--Piper being the one giving it, of course.]

I know most people are bound to have Christmas plans by now, but I figured a last minute reminder wouldn’t hurt: if you aren’t doing anything tomorrow, your local soup kitchens and homeless shelters could without a doubt use the extra help. And I can’t think of any way to use your time that represents the spirit of Christmas better.

[James is helping by smacking Piper in the back of the head with his stuffed reindeer antlers. They squeak. How irritating.]

I can think of at least seven worse ways I’ve spent Christmas, I guess. Incarcerated. [Headbutt.] Hospitalized. [Headbutt.] Incarcerated again. [Headbutt.] Inside a giant ice cube. [Headbutt.] Breaking out of prison. Wait, those last two were the same Christmas.

Thank you for your input, James. [Piper seems anything but thankful.] Anyway, if anyone wants a list of places looking for help on short notice, let me know.

And if anyone needs me to cover their lawns or houses or their friends’ lawns or houses orrr their enemies’ lawns or houses in fake snow and glitter, let me know. That’s my Christmas good deed, so don’t say I never did anything for the good of humanity.

[Piper steadfastly ignores the continued antler headbutting.]

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good Christmas, and keeps those less fortunate than themselves in mind.

[James pauses, looking as if something of critical importance has suddenly dawned on him.] Hey, so do you think Rudolph is like a metaphor for the gay experience, or—

[And with that, the feed cuts off.]


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