exceptfebruary: a shadowed calendar man in full costume (Costumed Crook)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
Sunday, February 14th, 2016.

I had hoped to help you all celebrate today. But unfortunately, I'm a bit tied up at the moment. [ Literally, thanks to a couple of bat and spider-themed interfering do-gooders. But he can still use the network mentally. ] This will have to do.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
How do you cope,
When your loved ones aren't here with you?

[ Calendar Man's tone is cool but vicious. He's completely taking out his anger on the Network. So he's going to dig in deep and aim for the heart. ]

I wonder, how many of you are missing your sweethearts? After all, the Porter is usually disinclined to bring your Valentine with you. Perhaps she did. Perhaps she will. But who knows how long that's going to last?

Or maybe you found someone to be your Valentine here. How lucky for those of you who did. If it is lucky. If they are from your world, you won't remember the relationship when you return. And if they are not, it's almost inevitable you'll be torn apart by a machine you cannot control. Separated by universes.

Today is reserved for love. Find yours. Spend the day with them. Remember to tell them you love them while you still have the chance.

Unless you don't have anyone, of course. Are you better off alone, unloved? You might not have a Valentine today, but at least you won't get hurt.

Happy Valentine's Day, imPorts.
abittertruth: (Sprite: For Your Information (With Mug))
[personal profile] abittertruth
[Oh, look! It's those three red lights again. The face attached to them isn't smiling any more, but the actual expression is hard to read--partially because of the mask.]

Someone stop me if this is old news, because I'm still fresh off the boat--but I've been watching this three-ring circus near as I can tell, not one of you knows what's going on here.

It's just the wet dregs being passed off as fresh brew--and a mess of pretty words covering ugly hearsay and uglier agendas.

[He sets his coffee mug down on the desk beside him.]

Now, I'm as opposed to nuclear annihilation as the next man, don't get me wrong. But I find it pretty interesting the government can't keep enough track of all these magic yahoos it keeps porting in that it can lose fifty of them in one go--but wants its civilians to play spy games for them...?

[He's building steam, gaining intensity as he talks--someone's not all that happy.]

They paint a nice picture--they're responsible for us and we're responsible for them, we're all one big happy community--but it sounds to me like they're slipping salt in the coffee and telling us its sugar.

It's enough to make a well man sick.

And I am not a well man.

[He bares his teeth in a grin--one that's just a touch too aggressive to be sincere.

But then he stops, his visor once again hiding the majority of any meaningful expression.
]

...oh. But before I go... one last thing.

Word on the street is that death has become a bit of a tease.

If anyone has proof otherwise, speak now.

[Then he jams his finger on the button, cutting the video off.]
glowsferatu: smile, ashiah (Default)
[personal profile] glowsferatu
[ The camera opens with Rose setting up a camera in front of a couch, disappearing as soon as she’s satisfied with the position. Kanaya seems pensive, her lips drawn tight, looking at something to her left, where some low chatter can be heard. Some sort of skittering noises, and an occasional squeak. Kanaya takes a deep breath and turns her attention to the camera, as she begins. ]

Around a year ago, some of you may remember I spent time in prison for, well, costumed supervillainy. I came to the Network to confess the crimes I committed as Hobgoblin, in...what one might call an ill-advised endeavor for harsher punishment. Suffice to say, I wasn't at my best at the time, or in any way my most logical. But...I wasn't at my most truthful, either. There was much that went into that situation that I left out, mostly by deliberate obfuscation or exaggeration.

[ There's another chirp from offscreen, and Kanaya breaks her thought for a moment to look to her left and gently tap a finger against her lips. She takes another deep breath, collecting her thoughts more coherently. Stop pausing so much, Kanaya. ]

The most important facet being that the Hobgoblin was primarily the result of mental manipulation, even brainwashing, conducted on me by Norman Osborn. The elder. [ Because that will always be an important distinction.

It's at this point that Rose becomes a solidly visible figure, casting an incomprehensible look towards Kanaya, utterly oblivious to just how in frame it is. Relief is, perhaps, the best way to describe it; it's been a year that she's waited for Kanaya to cast the blame on the correct person. For as long as it lasts, at least, as Kanaya unfortunately isn't done.
]

Not that it makes me entirely innocent. He told me what to do, yes, and I was compelled to follow his directives, but it isn't as though he micromanaged the whole thing. Carrying it out was still me, still my mind determining how to arrive at the destination he dictated. [There’s a frustrated sigh, off screen, quite obviously from Rose. ]

The costume, as an example, was my design. I only created it to the parameters he desired, which isn't very different from most design jobs I take. Only, this one was in preparation to becoming the client's costumed thug. Which is really all I was. More a henchwoman than a supervillain.

And even his part in it doesn't erase the lies I told in my previous confession, of course, that's still a thing that I did. I could try to paint the reasons behind that decision, the guilt and the rationalizations. I would rather have suffered someone thinking me worse than I am than allow anyone else to make themselves a target for all of this. To keep them from experiencing what had already happened to me, or what he did to Rose through me. It was a bad plan, among many bad plans.


[ This time, Rose is very conscious of her visibility. And, a very soft interjection: ] The point is that, ultimately, Norman Osborn was the grand orchestrator in this. [ Kanaya glances at her with some surprise. She was carrying on a bit, wasn't she? ] Right. Yes, that.

What it all comes down to is that Norman Osborn was a very dangerous man. Kanaya experienced violation to a degree which is unfathomable. I allowed my ego to blindside me and I ultimately allowed myself to be manipulated and played like a well tuned instrument. We could stand here all day and count the ways in which we blame ourselves and the ways in which things could have been done differently, but none of that erases what has been done.

This was a year ago, now. In the months that followed, several imPorts aided us in an extensive investigation and in the end, Norman’s recent arrest. Notably, Norman Osborn junior was a significant help. We owe everyone involved a debt of gratitude for seeing this to its end. Unfortunately, the end being that we have also subsequently seen the senior be ported out.
[ Sourly said, though it ought to be cause for some relief, later. ] If we're lucky, this world will never see his like again.
exceptfebruary: calendar man on a snowy cityscape background, with a blank look (February 29th)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
[ The man on the video is bald and pale skinned, with light blue tattoos around his skull reading JANFEBMARAPR (etc), the first three letters of each month. Glimpses of his shoulders reveal he’s wearing a bright red costume with a white date-themed cape. The camera is angled in such a way to give no indication of location other than a blank wall; Julian would prefer not to broadcast that to anyone that might recognize him.

His voice, when he speaks, is cool.
]

January 6th, 2016.

Today, an appearance, an arrival. My arrival. Unfortunately I didn't bring a gift. Still, I wonder if there are three of us today.

[ Julian's face darkens. The cold, fierce anger in his voice becomes very clear. ]

Perhaps it is fitting, but I would have preferred to remain where I was. I need to finish what I started. Or if not, to return to the City and continue my work there.

But no. I have been brought here, where the winter of politics has not ended. The Cold War’s end date should have happened already. For the Soviet Union, December 26th, 1991 at the latest. Yet the season still lingers.

[ He pauses and plays with his lip, considering. ] A new world. One that does not know the name Calendar Man. I'll have to begin my work anew. The Calendar Man will not be forgotten.

[ Julian looks directly into the camera. ]

I'll make sure this will be an epiphany.
tuxedo_magician: (Ponder the mysteries of the world)
[personal profile] tuxedo_magician
So I was thinking – every two weeks we get that report thing and they always list colors for the terror alert levels. So far, we've gotten the following: Plum, Violent Violet, Snowflake, Evergreen, Blood Orange, Tangerine, Vermilion, Magenta, Red, Orange and Yellow.

So, I'm proposing a contest: suggest the craziest color alert level you can and one of you will win some tickets to my magic show. Or something else if magic isn't your thing. But really, it should be, because it's awesome.

Also, Murderous Magenta is already taken. Apparently it's the crazy version of regular Magenta.


[This is what happens when Kaito is bored.]

Video

Nov. 22nd, 2015 12:00 pm
liverletdie: (Flirt | ...in my hotel room)
[personal profile] liverletdie
[ Is Tony Stark reporting in from a beach? He sure is, from Sunny Florida, because beaches are great, and also they don't get this kind of heat now in Virginia.

He even has a pair of sunglasses on, and the smile looks just a bit too self-satisfied.
]

I don't get to take enough vacations. [ Thankfully, the camera is focused on his upper half -- you're all spared the dreaded speedo for now. ] You know, being a CEO and everything, it takes a lot of time. Even now? I've got my comm and my work phone on me.

[ Which pings, right now, and he grins. ]

Oh, speaking of -- [ He holds up a phone for the camera to see. It's not an iPhone, but it is flat, and has beveled edging, but it isn't quite as big as an iphone, at least not for the moment. ]

Okay, okay, so it doesn't look like much. This is the new Starkphone, by the say. The one I've been working on...since the company started? I wanted to do something different with it, so... it took a bit. [ But he waves it again. ] It's going on sale...what, next week? Yeah, Wednesday, just in time for Thanksgiving. I'm sure you've seen the little adverts, but anyway, if you're looking for a phone, they're going to blow all the other ones out of the water, but... well -- we have our comms, right?

Now I was going to talk about how nice beaches are in the middle of November, but... you know, I got distracted. [ By talking about his own work. Go figure. ]

I'll leave it at that, I think. To all you new folks who keep coming in, if you want a job, just come talk to me, alright? I've got a heck of a company, and we can always use more.

[ With that, he pulls to the phone, and actually pulls up the display, which isn't just the screen, but instead what looks like a floating-light keyboard.

Oh yeah, it's definitely a floating light keyboard. It's only on an afterthought that he shuts the comm off.
]

video

Nov. 16th, 2015 04:55 pm
heavyhitter: loud and brash, only eighteen (she is the dancing queen)
[personal profile] heavyhitter
[ Ramir shows up in an obviously planned shot, dead center in a dark room, chin propped up on her hand as she leans on a table. ]

Man, November sucks. Last month we had Halloween, next month we got Christmas, what do we have this month? Just, like… turkeys. The American turkey holiday. Great, I know I can’t fucking wait.

But hang on, don’t despair, I’m here with good news! Coming soon to a Heropa downtown near you: Krakatoa!

[ Cue: lights! They snap on pretty much all at once, and the scene transforms. Suddenly it’s all oranges and reds, tropical and bright and flashy, and clearly the inside of a (currently empty) club. She gestures grandly around her, grinning. ]

What the hell is Krakatoa, you ask? Besides that big volcano that killed a bunch of people like a million years ago? Just the hottest imPort-owned and operated clubstaurant this dimension has ever seen! Show up during the day for some really fucking tasty food — I borrowed the Iceberg’s very best chef, where he wasn’t getting anywhere near the appreciation he should be, and his meals are practically as killer as the eruption was. But then! Hang around into the evening to see the whole thing transform into a dance floor! Still hungry? Don’t worry! I got him chained up in the kitchen to keep churning out the food, there’s insanely tasty appetizers popping out all night.

Also, even better news, I’m still hiring! Looking for snappy dressers who don’t suck — cooks, servers, bar tenders, dancers, whatever. Just get your good-looking butt down here before we open next Friday!

[ There’s a PDF flyer attached with the address and hours, in the same stylish red/orange tropical theme. ]

Oh, yeah, and— imPorts get half off on everything on opening night, then 20% off for the rest of our collective lives, so basically no one here has any excuse not to stop by.

[ private, individually to Jo, Dave, Maine, and Jonathan (Joestar): ]

I mentioned this was happening next week, right? [ didn’t. she definitely didn’t. (but hey at least Jojo is probably mostly on the same page, one out of four isn’t bad) ] Hope your Friday schedule is clear!
christmaspun: (*Sigh*)
[personal profile] christmaspun
[For a moment, the feed turns on. There's Kristin, looking at the lens - face pale, eyes puffy from tears that dried up beforehand - but she doesn't speak. She can't bring herself to speak. She was gone, gone back to her home; now she's back, and it's apparent that something has gone wrong. Behind her, her room is a flurry of scattered papers. Dulled green eyes widen a bit as she tries to process information, tries to pull words from the haze and the darkness.

She can't do it.

She casts a darting glance over her shoulder, jumping at a shadow, and with the lift of her chin it's easier to see the fading bruises around her throat. Her eyes flick downward to the preview of her feed and she spots them.

The visuals click off. She switches to text.]



I went back. It felt like weeks, but the calendar here says it's only been a day. Like it was a bad dream.


I don't know what to do now that I've woken up.

3 | Video

Nov. 7th, 2015 12:23 am
fastballspeciaaaaal: (I BET --)
[personal profile] fastballspeciaaaaal
[Hey network, enjoy this small smiley child beaming at you when this post goes up in the wee hours of the morning.]

Hi everyone!! I’m Ripley and I am here to make a public service announcement about friendship!

Having friends is super important. You already knew that, right? Seriously, it’s probably like, the most important thing ever. Of all time! ‘Specially here. So I wanna make sure that all the newbies here have friends! Newbies! Do you have friends yet?

If you don’t, I have good news. I’ll be your friend! In fact, even if you’re not a newbie, I’ll still be your friend! I always like making friend and I’m very good at friendship. Come talk to me if you wanna be friends.

That’s all for now, Ripley out! [Her sign off is accompanied by a tiny salute and her best attempt at a serious face before the video ends.

--OR DOES IT. Soon after, she makes an addition.]


Oh, oh, oh. P.S. Does anybody wanna adopt a hermit crab? Or maybe twenty? I’ve got a lotta hermit crabs. [She looks off camera wide eyed, momentarily overwhelmed by her own vast amount of hermit crabs.

But then she’s back.]
Okay, thanks!

voice 01

Nov. 5th, 2015 08:17 pm
pyrolock: (pic#9705788)
[personal profile] pyrolock
Um...hi.

...No, wait, hold on a second. This is so awkward. Hello, um, imPorts. My name is Olive. Olive Silverlock. ...And I feel like I'm introducing myself as the new kid in front of my whole class, so this is about as much fun for me as it is for you.

[She pauses, what sounds like a breath being taken slightly audible from the recording.]

So! Yeah. New kid in town. In the world. You know I feel like I heard stories about this kind of thing happening, but it only really happened to the "superheroes" from where I live. Honestly it's so weird and I feel a little bit...guilty, I guess.

Not that this place doesn't seem great, but I'm not...interested in this hero stuff. Seems like such a big deal around here and it just weirds me out. [She pauses again, contemplating for a moment what more to say. Then she remembers something.] My friend though - Maps - would be in love with this place. If she was here I mean. If she was then she'd probably be screaming in my ear right now about getting to be a real life superhero, and going on team missions and stuff like that. I bet she'd get powers that would help her...I dunno, raid dungeons or solve puzzles? She plays a lot of roleplaying games like that sort.

[Are dungeons even a thing here? She has no clue. The town she got placed in seems like a rough area in particular, but no more rough than what she's used to seeing in Gotham City.]

...Well, okay, this is a disaster so I'm going to stop talking now and try to be a normal person.

[Hah. Normal. She wishes to be more normal.]
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 10TH, 2015
October is in full thrust. Be sure to stock up on all your pumpkin spice flavored goodies! You never know when your local food dispenser may just discover that their supplies got... Squashed.

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
Congratulations to JINSEOK JIN and ANA RAMIR, who have been chosen from the September Swearing-In to be our official imPort Spokespeople! In probably unrelated news, this poster has been plastered all over Heropa and the Ambassador lodgings in the three other imPort cities.

CONFESSIONS OF A WALLFLOWER
Seen in the hippest Young Adult magazines, talked about on NPR, seen on day time television, and found where ever books are sold:
A new imPort-penned book has hit the shelves! One Year Posthumous is the personal account of a young woman faced with a sometimes-difficult second chance in a new world. Native teenagers are eating it up and reviews are generally positive, with many (up to daytime television hosts, even!) speculating as to the author's true identity. Buy a copy for yourself and see if it moves you. Or just try to figure out if you know this spotlight-shy author.

LITTLE TALKS
Due to the communicator glitch that occurred on October 3rd, the NSA has requested funding for an investigation. The continual threat of Russian hackers may have saw an opportunity -- or may have even been the cause -- of this apparent malfunctioning. This was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.

PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT
Senator Haik has taken ill quite suddenly and remains in hospital, in an undisclosed location.

FRESH OFF THE VOTE
The Nonah Ambassador Election will be held THIS OCTOBER 19TH. Voting booths will be accessible for every imPort who is not A CRIMINAL, this includes imPorts who are legally minors. Must be 18 or over to run for office.

THE BALLOT THUS FAR:
Raina and Francis Ewan Urquhart. Thank you for running, you noble patriots!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VERMILLION to TANGERINE in response to overwhelming pumpkins.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
indentcision: (circumstantial evidence)
[personal profile] indentcision
[ While the video switches on, there's something of a hesitation before the man holding the communicator actually lifts it to show more than the chest of the pinstripe suit he's wearing.

Finally, Harvey raises it up to his face: the familiar (to some, not all) bisection of scarring is plain to see, the handsome right side with its one alert blue eye and thick coif of hair a stark contrast to the savage red burns that have razed the left side, and kept the hair there white and deadened. His expression is a neutral mask for a long, weighted span of moments, before his eyebrow lowers down over his good eye.
]


My name is Harvey Dent. Some of you may know me already -- I'm a Public Defender in Heropa, former District Attorney of Gotham City. While that may seem neither here nor there, it brings me to my next point. No... my entire point.

[ He falls briefly quiet again, then gestures to his face. The elephant in the room, as it were. ]

Masks off. Don't be alarmed; everything's fine... before anyone decides to jump to conclusions.

This is me -- a face of justice broken down and left for dead. Someone that once believed in cleaning his city of corruption, but now... no, since, I realized that had been my first mistake all along. What the world needs is balance, not saving -- if it can't be right it can still be fair.

That's still my priority. I'm not going to hide it any longer, regardless of who still wants to call me crazy for it; that's why I undid my facial reconstruction, to prove that I'm serious. To make it clear that as a lawyer, balance of consequence is as important as balance of representation.

So no, I'm not resigning. I'm not c-- [ He stops short and laughs briefly, seeming to change his mind about that sentence, and there's an off-screen metallic clinking sort of sound. ] Where justice is concerned, an impartial voice is more necessary than you'd think. Such a heated subject, as of late.

[ He smiles in a calm-but-uneven way, as much as his mangled lips will allow, and holds a business card up to the camera; it shows the business address for his practice, as well as his phone number. 'Walk-ins welcome!' it reads amiably. ]

Remember: That's Harvey.

Harvey Dent.

voice;

Sep. 12th, 2015 12:00 pm
malodorous: <user name="hikaranko"> (life sucks then you die)
[personal profile] malodorous
Soo... I've been back home before. About a year ago, I vanished from this place for a month before coming back. I only spent a few hours in Arendelle, but a lot happened, and I guess I just... I was wondering if it's possible for things that you've already experienced to go different ways for different people.

I don't know if that makes sense. It's one of those things that would sound insane basically anywhere else, so it's hard to tell what's realistic and actually possible.

For the sake of clarity, uh-- Just. Something important happened, in Arendelle, and it saved somebody's life, and I just want to know that it can't undo itself. I can't see from here, from right now, so... I don't know. It's been bugging me.
viced: (Everyone breaks into Gracie mansion)
[personal profile] viced
Yesterday was not the first time that a swear-in has been attacked.

It is, however, the first time that it's been taken to the point that people have been hurt so gravely; physically, emotionally, or even psychologically. People were hurt. Not just natives, or imports, but both camps. I trusted that something will be done, and I trust that something will still be done, soon. But, as imports, we should be able to take a stand, and do something to catch the people who won't play along as they should.

I can't speak for any other city than De Chima, but I will do what I can for my city -- [ He calls it his, with that sort of fierce determination, pride, and possessiveness that could only be shown by not just an ambassador, but an executive level. He might not hold the position, but he still holds that sound in his voice. ] -- And what we can do is prevent future attacks. Any means necessary.

This is an open invitation. Anyone with the technological know how, please contact me. I'd like to talk about a contract -- something to be done as quickly, and as efficiently as possible. I'd also like to talk to someone from RISE, if I could.

[ A pause, then. ]

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people like our attacker yesterday -- who thrive on chaos -- who can't act like a decent human being for one moment of the day, and who've gone out of their way to hurt not just one person, dozens. If not more. Where I come from -- and I'm sure it's the same here -- we call those terrorists. And I hope that like any terrorrist, he is found swiftly, and brought to trial properly. And whoever's out there who's going to hunt him down, police, or otherwise, please offer them your full support. Nobody can catch people like this alone -- I'd know, we dealt with this in New York, too -- but if we all collaborate, we'll come out of this okay.

And please, in the future, if you ever see something that gives you pause, anything, please report it. In my experiences, there's always evidence, if we look. I know I'm going to commit to never turning a blind-eye, when something seems off. I'd like to hope everyone else will too.

voice

Aug. 7th, 2015 06:08 am
heavyhitter: (gonna touch it)
[personal profile] heavyhitter
Hey, guys, guess what! The most important day in August is coming up soon. Really soon, tomorrow! August 8th, my birthday. They basically made it a national holiday in Italy after they saw how great I was. And if America gets a birthday party with fireworks and free food everywhere, I'm pretty sure I should get something awesome, too.

Presents can be delivered to apartment #14 in Heropa, and since I'm not totally sold on surprises, you don't have to wait until tomorrow. Bring that shit over now! I won't judge you.

And second, slightly less exciting and great, I wanna give some people jobs if you're good at what you do. I'm gonna need some contractors at first, the burlier the better. Any interior designers? You'd be up next. And a little way down the line I'm gonna need cooks, bartenders, waiters, DJs... If you're good at any of that shit, and I mean really good because this is gonna be classy as hell, lemme know. And yeah, I could just hire from the native populace, but I wanna staff with imPorts! We're great, when we're not murdering people and stuff.

Video

Aug. 5th, 2015 07:20 pm
redplainsrider: (The wind dares to whisper her name!)
[personal profile] redplainsrider
[Camera comes on, and Red is in a small boutique clothing store. Before she started filming her network post, a helpful bohemian type clerk tried to do as the adjective suggests and help her. But Red, already frustrated with such a foreign land as a boutique clothing shop, had snapped at her so badly the clerk had huffed off to the back of the store, leaving Red all alone.

And now that Red actually needs help and none is to be found, not even another customer, she is going to her fellow imPorts for it. She still sounds more than a little perturbed.]


Now, I ain't no shop owner nor shop worker of any sort, but one would figger you'd wanna have some sorta help to be a-helpin' customers. But maybe this is some ancient history trend I ain't aware of: leave folks hangin' with questions about yer sundries and wares so they eventually ain't gonna buy it. Maybe keeps yer store lookin' nice an' full.

[You can just feel that sarcasm dripping. Is she going to tell the side of the story where she chased off the salesperson? No, of course not.]

So, I need help from you folks. [She holds up a mass of fabric. A dress, a skirt and a top, respectively.] What colors're these? Be honest, now, dun make a gal leave a store with a neon pink that'll make plants wither an' young'uns weep.

An' once y'all sussed out those answers fer me.... [A pause. She's more unsure of asking the following question than she was the question relating to a vision deficiency. She's used to the former, not the latter.] What one you reckon looks better on someone what has similar physical attributes to me? Fer dates an' swear-ins where they turn ya away fer wearin' a duster an' jeans an' such.
christmaspun: (*Sigh*)
[personal profile] christmaspun
Hello?

Does this really...is everyone really seeing this?

[The voice is soft and hoarse with tears. The voice is also unfamiliar, as is the face it belongs too. Kristin is in what is now her room, lights dimmed to near non-existence. She's been holed up in there for some time, trying to pull herself together - but her head is pounding under the weight of hundreds, thousands of details about this place she's found herself in.

But being alone isn't helping her figure all of this out, either.]


Listen, I...I really think there's been some mistake. I'm not...I'm not some hero, I'm a file clerk. I don't belong here, I belong back at the GCPD, in my room, where everything is organized exactly how I want it. Where everything makes sense.

[New tears well up, and she cringes away briefly from the camera, puling off her glasses as if somehow doing it will help this time. It doesn't.]

...Why did they pick me?

text

Jul. 4th, 2015 12:59 pm
heavyhitter: (i'll think of you and probably laugh)
[personal profile] heavyhitter
ok so last year i was probably too drunk to ask about this but THIS YEAR someones gotta solve the mystery for me
so 4th of july is fuck yeah suck it mom to england, right, everyone knows that
but whats the fireworks
u cant tell me u won and someone happened to have a bunch of fireworks in his pocket and got a great idea
so whered it come from??? does it represent blowing up england because i dont think u did that. does it represent blowing up the us?? i dont think that happened either but maybe, my history is rusty

also if ur english do u just walk around feeling real annoyed today? or maybe real smug like yeah thanks for the reminder about the bullet we dodged

also also is anyone making burgers today, if so i wanna invite myself to ur party
airshow: (I don't make mistakes.)
[personal profile] airshow
[ Hey, everyone! Enjoying your traumatic nightmare comas? Well, here's something to brighten your day, assuming you're conscious:

photo: TRICKSTER AND HARLEY AT THE BEACH, two hot blondes in shamelessly tacky sunglasses, a rainbow photoshopped cheerfully overhead, "WISH YOU WERE HERE" in large friendly letters.


KEY WEST IS AMAZING!!!
may never return
you can all fight over the ball pit upon our very likely permanent disappearance


EDIT: PS those red marks are love bites not dolphin bites

EDIT: unrelated: dolphins are jerks AND THEIR SMILES LIE

EDIT: [ photo: a jello wrestling trophy with James Jesse's name on it ]

EDIT: have seen zero flamingos thus far but the day is young

EDIT: there is a gator on the street LIKE IT IS PEOPLE we named it waylon

EDIT: waylon ate a cat we aren't friends anymore

EDIT: FLAMINGOS SPOTTED, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

EDIT: [ photos: several increasingly close up shots of flamingos ]

EDIT: [ photo: an incomprehensible blur of pink and beaks and beady enraged bird eyes ]

EDIT: DFJS K ;;;;;;;; ;

EDIT: ditching flamingo plan, flamingos also jerks. jerks w/tiny tiny necks

EDIT: does anyone have a truck large enough to transport a manatee?

EDIT: a LIVE manatee

EDIT: never mind, measured manatee, will not fit in bathtub :( #heartbroken

EDIT: [ photo: an inadvisably huge tropical drink ]

EDIT: [ audio: 45 seconds of terrible drunken karaoke ]

EDIT: EVERYTHING FINE

EDIT: DO NOT READ THE NEWS FROM KEY WEST

voice

May. 20th, 2015 08:20 pm
heavyhitter: (better practice your scream)
[personal profile] heavyhitter
[ There are sounds in the background of this post remarkably like airport noises, periodic indecipherable loudspeaker announcements and a low general din of many tired, irritated voices. ]

Hey, know what I hate? People who disappear. That's fucking rude, right? There one second, gone the next. My roommates are off the hook for that, by the way, they all showed up again. Now the hook is aaaall Hisoka. I hope that asshole's proud.

So anyway. [ Some shuffling noises go here, as she rearranges unseen luggage. ] Looks like I got a something for a lucky someone! So, who wants to come to Vegas? All expenses paid! The only requirement is that you don't suck and I don't hate you. Also, less important, that you're either good at gambling or hilariously bad, I'll take either one.

[ and then in text, private to Nobunaga: ] this still counts i STILL WIN

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