devoutish: (says right here you're a little bitch)
[personal profile] devoutish
Mm. Let me ask you something, all of you. Has an imPort ever been sacked from their assigned job?

[Alfie has been lowkey trying to test the limits of his employability at the radio station for a while now, generally by being rude, confusing, and/or terrible on-air - especially now that he has a good amount of money socked away, thanks to his criminal dealings. But since he's neither quit nor been fired, his ridiculous show stays on the air, much to the delight of the small but loyal cult following it's amassed.]

I'm asking, right, because I've worked this one for over six months now, and I should think that'd be a long time to keep on someone who clearly isn't the radio host type.

But it's lucky I'm still here, isn't it, because I'm considering doing a special for April Fool's Week--

[He knows very well that it's just April Fool's Day.]

-- and that should be great fun. Yeah, you've brought me around on your incessant holidays; congratulations. What's up next, then? May Day?
wizzardly: (The flaw in the argument)
[personal profile] wizzardly
[Happy Ides, everyone. To celebrate, here's a pale, shaken wizzard on your screen, standing in some nondescript Maurtia Falls allet. If the pallor of his skin makes him look a person who may be ill, that's probably because he is. Or at least was. Barely thirty seconds ago, violently, behind a trash can.]

Once, just once I'd like to go a month without - without the streets flooding with ghosts, or being in ridiculous brawls in bars with bears, or being kidnapped, or - or -

[Rincewind breaks off with a pained, miserable expression, glancing back over his shoulder. As he does so, the video shifts enough to show a dumpster with its lid open, a bag of trash abandoned outside it. The angle makes it impossible to see inside.]

...There's a body in there. Two, er, halves of one. Someone's, um...

[Rincewind swallows thickly, fighting another wave of nausea.]

I don't think she's an imPort. ...Was. Gods.

Look - someone come deal with this, will you? That's what you heroes are meant to do, right? So one of you needs to bloody well get out here. I'm not - I can't - this isn't my responsibility.

004; Video

Mar. 8th, 2017 07:23 pm
baetiful: ([ 84 ])
[personal profile] baetiful
[ The video starts in Baelish's ambassadorial office which is currently a mess of books, glorious books. ]

Greetings, my fellow imPorts.

Many of you should have received letters by now in regards to the new library within Maurtia Falls. If you have not, it's either because you are a new arrival and I did not want to burden you, I could not find a proper address to deliver the letter to, or I somehow missed your name on the list. My apologies if it was the latter.

[ He gestures toward the mountain of books within view. And that is only a small fraction. ]

I am pleased to announce that with your aid, we were able to raise approximately 12,089,855 US Dollars and counting, roughly three thousand books were donated, and many of you offered your time toward the construction efforts with many more offering time toward programs when the project is complete. I am sincerely grateful for the outpouring of support from the imPort community and am more than happy to answer any questions you may have about the project. As a token of my gratitude, I will be holding a celebration when the library opens. Unfortunately, due to recent events, the date of which has been pushed forward to April.

[ And hopefully it won't have to be pushed forward again due to any more unforeseen imPort blunders. But Baelish folds his hands on his desk, his expression growing curious. ]

I do have a question for those imPorts who are politically inclined. Which party do you most associate with? It seems the list goes far beyond simply Democrat or Republican, and I'm interested to see where many of us fall -- particularly those of us who are new to democracy. And for those who are not quite new to the system, has this world changed your opinions at all toward your original party?

I suppose that is all. I do extend my greetings to the newest arrivals. My name is Petyr Baelish and I serve as the ambassador for Maurtia Falls. If there is anything you need during this time, do not hesitate to ask.
dirtyredneck: (Neutral Distant (3))
[personal profile] dirtyredneck
[The post was supposed to be voice only and private to Newton. But Daryl wasn't in a state of mind to be careful when he clicked the feed on and sent it live. The mistake was likely obvious to anyone watching, however, as the camera was angled in an awkward manner where Daryl could glance at the screen and see what was on it, but not so it really got a good view of anything but the tops of his knees, his face beyond them, the edge of the bed past that, and then the ceiling of his bedroom.

The ravens he'd adopted a few months ago were hopping around trying to get his attention, to get him to play, but having little luck past him slowly pulling his head to one side so his hair was tugged out of their beaks or his hand slowly petting a feathered body that got pushed up under it. He looked like he'd mentally checked out at some point and was only going through the motions.

He sounded like it, too. Voice dull and nearly emotionless. Like a part of him had broken and he'd just shut down.]

Mako left this mornin'. Early. Ain't sure if she'll be back in time for the wedding.

['Left' meaning the world and him with the port out, not the house. He figured he didn't need to be that specific though.]

[[NOTE: replies will be slow until tomorrow]]
fixthegame: (polite for now)
[personal profile] fixthegame
[An encoded text message goes out to the network. It hasn't been sent to anyone in particular, the encryption instead serving to screen out any unwanted eyes. However, the sufficiently adept or dedicated should be able to decode it.]

00111111 )

[Later, a voice message is sent out, openly accessible this time. The speaker might've come off as nonchalant if he didn't sound so flatly irritated. But more importantly... Does his voice sound familiar to you?]

This is problematic.

I don't feel presumptuous in saying I can't be the only one inconvenienced by this sudden relocation. From what I gather, people have been "settled"--that means stranded, kids--in this reality for years now. But me? I can't do "years." I've got stuff to do, people to see. And who do these people think is gonna feed my dog while I'm gone?

Okay, okay, I don't have a dog to feed. But I've been here about two hours, and this little field trip has gone on long enough. So why don't we help each other out? I don't know how many of you here are familiar with the technology required to move between alternate universes, but I am.

If you, or anyone you know, can get me these components-- [He attaches a long list full of terms like "quantum restabilizers" and "dimension-axial calibrators" topped off with a whole lot of cooling systems and power converters.] --then we'll be in business, and on our first step to returning home. Now, I'm not saying I can make this happen right away. Assembly alone will take a few weeks, and after that I'll need to make adjustments to account for any distinct properties specific to this universe. In the meantime, if anyone qualified would like to help out, let me know.

It's important that we cooperate on this. I won't be able to do everything by myself.
nishishi: pixiv id #1898256 ([242])
[personal profile] nishishi
My birthday's coming up in three months, I actually remembered, this time.

[Honestly, people should be proud of him for remembering something that isn't food, adventure, or fighting-related.]

But not only do I not have a ship STILL, but my crew is still tiny. [It's just him and Zoro--that's so lonely.]

So what kind'a parties do people have in this weird place? I want a big one. And a fun one.

001. video.

Feb. 9th, 2017 12:18 pm
jalan: (#10901266)
[personal profile] jalan
[ The girl that appears now on the network is not incredibly competent with this technology, but nor would she publicly broadcast without having had a bit of practice beforehand. That flicker of uncertainty in her expression is stifled, and her smile is subtle but warm. ]

Hello, [ is said, with a twinge of a raised eyebrow. ] My name is Daenerys Stormborn, of the House Targaryen, and this next moon will mark the six months I've been here. I am not the first of my land to arrive -- many of you are already familiar with Ambassador Baelish.

And over the past few months, more and more of my people have come through the Porter. We represent different lands, different values, different politics, but in this world, we find ourselves with more similarities than we'd ever imagine sharing. If any of you of Westeros or Essos are viewing this [ because gods know it took her a while ] and we've yet to meet, I'd very much like to rectify that.

There are more than just us, too, who have likewise entered this land and felt like strangers to its technology, its ways. If you feel more at home in a world of horses and candles and swords, I'd like to know you too, whether you're new or have been here for sometime. We face a conflict between wishing to recall always the worlds from which we hail, and represent them proudly, while achieving a level of integration that ensures we have a voice. Perhaps there is a solution to find, between all of us.

Likewise, [ she adds, ] if you are entirely at home here but perhaps would be willing to act as a guide, then please do step forward with your name and your skills. You would want also to be a patient sort of person, but I assure you, we learn quickly.
ewenique: (005 ( helsinki timeline. ))
[personal profile] ewenique
If you could change one person who is here for another person from home, who would you choose?

Or if you had to condemn one person here in order to save another, who would you choose for each party?

Or if you wished to bring one person from here home with you, at the cost of losing someone else from that world, who would they be?

You cannot pick only one; there must be an exchange, and you must say why.

( ooc: MK has technopathy so she'd be very hard to hack/identify, but I'm totally into hacker games and playing around with that if your character would try to figure out who she was or just want to poke at each other. )
exceptfebruary: close up shot of Calendar Man's eyes with have his face in shadow (Consult the Calendar)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
January 6th, 2017. Epiphany. It has been one year since I was ported in. Happy anniversary.

[ Julian's voice is cool and calm, matter of fact and without emotion. ]

It has been quite a year, hasn't it. Soviet kidnapping. Occupation. Brainwashing. ImPorts being replaced by a version of themselves from an alternate timeline. Or from another point in time. Murders, monsters, memories, mayhem. [ He skims over the rest to get to the important part: ]

I was busy the past year. [ Now he sounds a little bit proud of himself. ] Leprechauns on St. Patrick's. Playing a prank on the capital on April Fool's. Stealing the Declaration of Independence on the Fourth of July. Improving Disney World's Halloween.

In December I decided to give back to the community. Christmas. Hanukkah. Yule. Kwanzaa. So many holidays based on giving. So for many of you, I gave on your behalf. I'm sure the people of this world enjoyed the donations selected from your own homes.

[Which basically means he just admitted to a few thefts. At least your stuff is in better hands now? ]

Now it is a new year. I hope many of you will follow your New Year's Resolutions. Don't give up on them early.

And it appears it's the season for new imPorts again. Welcome, newcomers. I hope this post gives you something to look forward to in the coming year.

Have a nice day.
musclemothers: (someone save his skinny white ass)
[personal profile] musclemothers
[The scene: a karaoke bar, decked out in holiday lights, a miserable, sticky looking place with miserable, sticky looking waitresses in sexy elf costumes.

The people: one Rusty Venture, currently wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and holding a martini glass that is not, from the looks of it, his first, and one THE MONARCH!!!!, one of the few imPorts whose eyebrows dwarf Rusty’s and wearing… what he’s always wearing, really. Though he has added a festive Santa hat over his crown.

Rusty squints into the camera, takes a hefty gulp of his drink, then says,]
Sadie. Sadie, my dear, we are in need of someone to judge a little wager. This imbecile thinks he can outsing me, but we’ll leave it up to a woman of dignity and character to - to judge.

[Yeah, he’s drunk. But so is the Monarch, so at least it's an equal playing field?]

Yeah, like you know anyone of dignity and character, let alone a woman. [ The Monarch rolls his eyes. ] Did you pick a song yet?

Don’t rush genius. I swear, half of these have been done already... [Rusty props the communicator on a nearby table and hops onto the stage with an effeminate sort of flourish, scrolling through the songs available.] There. Twelve Days of Christmas.

[The karaoke midi file begins to play the intro, and so it begins.]

Twelve Days of-- Are you fucking kidding me? Everyone's done-- On the first day of Christmas my arch rival gave to meeee…

You can’t even sing the first line right? [Oh, shit, he missed his cue. Rusty’s voice isn’t pleasant, but he’s hitting the majority of the notes at least.] Oh, shit -- OntheseconddayofChristmas my true love gave to meeeee two turtle doves and a -- okay, see, there are lyrics there. On the screen. Are you illiterate?

[ The Monarch gives up early, talking through most of the next verse. ] Have you ever even done this whole Christmas song shit? Half the point is making it your own!

And a partridge in a pear treeeeeee.

Come on! All Christmas is is a bunch of traditions stitched together. Why the hell else would people be singing this nonsense? People only want to hear what they’ve already heard before. But I should’ve known that you’d mess this up too. How drunk do I have to --

[oh. He missed a lot. But he’s not going to miss this one. He stretches one arm out like a spindly Liberace as he belts:] FIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIIIIII--.

[ His arm almost hits the Monarch in the face, so the Monarch's gonna go ahead and just shove him off the stage (while Rusty emits a particularly high pitched screeching sound following a loud thump and a horrified declaration of I’m bleeding!) and the video cuts out as it devolves into the world's scrawniest, shriekiest karaoke bar brawl. ]

[ ooc ; if you need a reference point for these awful voices, you may find the Monarch singing with his wife HERE and Rusty's VA HERE. ]


Dec. 7th, 2016 08:19 am
helpline: (pointing for emphasis)
[personal profile] helpline
[ The Doctor's sitting at the counter of his watch shop, pieces of something that is most decidedly not a watch spread out over the counter. There's a big sign behind him that states NO CAROLING, which is a bit counter intuitive since Christmas music is playing in the background. ]

I've decided to host a Christmas party! Partly because I've never done so before, partly because if I do host a Christmas party, then all the inevitable catastrophe I'll have to deal with will be shoved off on there instead of onto spider aliens masquerading as grooms, aliens controlling people of a certain blood type, multiple crashing spaceships, playing hot potato with a head, dying those few times, homicidal snowmen, or whatever that bit with the tree people was. [ pause ] Christmas is usually a bit busy for me.

Anyway, the Doctor's rocking Christmas party and potluck! It'll either be at the shop or at my place, depending on how the flatmates feel about people and food. Bring a dish, preferably potatoes, and we'll...I don't know, talk? What exactly do you do at a Christmas party?

[ He's never exactly HOSTED one before, but details, details! There's a tentative pause because even he knows that people should know what they're getting in for, ]

Current guests include myself, a robot, and a supervillain.

dun_moch: (Unfortunate)
[personal profile] dun_moch
What would you do if you could control the Porter?

[The deep, rich voice that asks this question pauses to let it sink in before continuing.]

I ask you that consider this topic carefully. The Porter does far more than govern who comes to this world and who departs. It can both grant special powers, and remove them. It can alter bodies and memories. It can even affect the passage of time itself.

The Porter is the reason we are here, and the reason that we leave. It dominates our lives, while we have so very little influence over it. Yet we all hope that this will one day change, do we not? That some revelation will unlock the secrets of the great machine, so that we can come and go as we please from this world.

It is said that this was how it once was with the imPorts who were here before us: that the government controlled the Porter then, and was able to simply send them home. Perhaps those days shall come again. Maybe it will be through the whims of the Porter itself, or the policies of the government, or even through our own actions.

Regardless of how and when it happens, I believe we should consider what we will do if the Porter is ever brought under control. One thing is for certain: it would be a great change in the lives of all imPorts.

[Just an innocent conversational inquiry from your resident Sith Lord. If this post is your first time tagging the Count, you may want to take a look at his permissions post!]
exceptfebruary: a shadowed calendar man in full costume (Costumed Crook)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
Once, Thanksgiving was celebrated by proclamation. This nation was called to give thanks, to celebrate.

It transformed into tradition. Then an annual holiday. Now it is commonplace.

[ He pauses, purposefully. His voice is soft and calm. ]

We've been taken from our worlds. Our homes. Our times. I have been here for ten months, two weeks and four days. Some of you have been here for years. Others, much less.

In that time, is there anything in this world you are thankful for? People. Places. Things. Or perhaps thankful to be here. Or maybe you're not thankful at all. Maybe everything you're thankful for has been ripped away from you.

Regardless. Today is a day to give thanks. So tell me. What are you thankful for?
ohmyclara: (a chest filled with diamonds and gold)
[personal profile] ohmyclara
[The feed clicks on, and the voice that follows is astoundingly cheery in comparison to the subject matter.]

So. How would you go about celebrating a birthday and a deathday at the same time, without involving cake or alcohol?

[A beat.]

Asking for a friend.
anxiogenic: (Disgust)
[personal profile] anxiogenic
My "therapist" implied I do not seek meaningful connection and so here is a meaningful survey:

[He eyeballs the camera and barely constrains the frown eating at the bottom corner of his lip. He's sitting straight in an armchair in a vintage room. Anyone getting a good look at him might notice he's too old. Unable to hide his true face, but it doesn't matter.]

Are our lives worlds of actions and reactions, behaviours and reinforcements?

Do we live without freedom or meaning?

Is existence defined through external activity?

Are human personalities nothing but the sum of human behavioral patterns?

[His gaze wanders in the ceiling.]

Or, for the modern generation; what is personality? [¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the education system.] Let's hear you pose entirely different models of what a human being is, and then argue from there.
exceptfebruary: calendar man shadowed, playing with his lip (This Is Halloween)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
[ The video opens on a close up of Julian's face. He's wearing a hungry sort of smile, more sinister than sweet. ]

Tonight is the night
When pumpkins stare
Through sheaves and leaves
When ghoul and ghost
And goblin host
Dance round their king.
It's Halloween.

[ There's an odd lack of rhyme in the last two lines -- he changed a single word of the poem. A little clue as to what he's about to do.

He pulls the camera away from his face, revealing that he's at - of all places, Disney World, Alabama. Behind him in the distance is Cinderella's Castle. Everything still looks normal.

Today is the last day of October. All Hallow's Eve. Hallowe'en. I've been looking forward to tonight.

I do hope you plan on celebrating, network.

[ He smiles again, wider, lips pressed together. ]

I know I am.
devoutish: (I can't believe I'm praying)
[personal profile] devoutish
[When it comes to the network, Alfie is more of a reader than a poster - and when he does post, he usually prefers to pick one person and talk to them directly, rather than saying something to all the imPorts at large. It's closer to what he's used to, and it's an easy way to control the conversation. But the technology and how it's used is a curious thing to him, in a frivolous sort of way. He doesn't think he'll ever end up relying on it, but it's worth a little experimentation.

So here he is.]

I was out for a walk today, right, and I was approached by a very little boy, knee-high. He addressed me by name, he pointed to my hat, and he asked to borrow it for a costume. He wants to be me, for Halloween, and he was determined to be authentic.

[He gives a pause to let this sink in.]

That's ridiculous, innit. It's ridiculous. You lot have covered the costumes already; I’m not gonna go over it again. But all these admirers - I’ve been here a month and I’ve done nothing but discourage them, and still they come.

[It’s true. He puts a lot of effort into actively sabotaging his radio show, purposefully mumbling unintelligibly at inopportune moments ("Set your oven at [mumbled gibberish] degrees and bake for [more gibberish and a cough] minutes") and throwing inappropriate ingredients into recipe descriptions (“The chili pepper, yeah - it’s really essential, and by the time your sugar cake is finished the taste of the spice will have baked off”). There’s still a sizable chunk of people who see it as comedy, and faithfully tune in every week.]

Have any of you found the trick to getting them to fuck off for good?


Oct. 7th, 2016 07:17 pm
ifhebeworthy: (pic#7716266)
[personal profile] ifhebeworthy
[The screen of their communicators flickers to life with a fluorescent glow. Initially, there's only a hint of someone there-- thick red fabric, chain mail, a hammer.]

I had prayed to come to good tidings. Greet friends, and assuage fears. To bolster thy strength with mine own.

Instead, I come here haunted by past misgivings I thought requited, by a name all too familiar to me. If you know him as well, I would like to speak to him.

[It doesn't sound like a request. The image swings up high to a broad faced man with long blonde hair. A winged helmet. His eyebrows are drawn down across a brow rigid as though it were carved from stone.]

To my friend.


maskormenace: (Default)