maskormods: (⒈)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: DECEMBER 22ND, 2015

DRUNK RECENT HISTORY
As seen initially on BlueTube, where the footage was leaked, before all major news networks picked it up:
Cell phone video footage allegedly depicting a barroom brawl between imPorts went viral after it was uploaded to BlueTube last weekend. The video, recorded at The Cantina in Heropa on the night of December 12, begins with a shot of broken glass and a man's voice shouting, "It just exploded! It just [EXPLETIVE] exploded, dude!" The video goes on to depict bottles shattering on shelves behind the bar and general chaos as patrons begin to flee the building. The video fails to capture the faces of the imPorts in question. Witness statements point to the use of some kind of telekinetic power. In addition to glasses and bottles, there was significant damage to the bar's furniture and interior. Police claim no injuries were reported but the suspects are being sought for destruction of property.

HO HO HONESTLY THEY NEED A DRINK LET THEM LIVE
As seen on Lulzfeed and heavily featured within popular Rumblr posts:
A picture depicting two thin, unshaven Santas enjoying beer has gone viral online since earlier this week. Many have manipped the picture to include jokes about SANTA PLEASE DON'T GET DRUNK THIS CHRISTMAS and WHAT MRS. CLAUS DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT HER with a few jabs thrown at various charities most commonly associated with ringing bells at Christmas. A second picture, depicting one of the Santas vomiting in an alley while the other Santa pats his back, has gained the same amount of attention. No one has yet been able to determine who these drunken imposters are, though some claim they must be imPorts. There is a subset of people who are devoted to discovering their identities, as thin Santas are apparently a Christmas wish for them!!

(NOTE: Anyone familiar with Will Graham or Edgar may, after a little squinting, catch onto the charitable culprits.)

DOG'S BEST FRIEND
As seen on BlueTube:
ImPort, zombie survivor AND teenage heartthrob Carl Grimes has made his first post on BlueTube, imploring everyone to consider the responsibilities of adopting a furry friend before taking them home for Christmas, as many of these "gifts" are soon return to shelters not long after adoption.

His fangirls, popularly known as Grimey Gals, furiously support his cause.

CALL IT VISIONARY
As seen on the internet as well as all imPort city newspapers and any television talk covering the matter:
AS PROPHESIED BY THE CLAIRVOYANT --

Now that you've seen the truth of my words, the fires that came to pass, there should be little doubt of the legitimacy of my claims. Unfortunately, once more, I do not come to you bearing good news. An ominous nightmare has been plaguing me for the past several nights.

I've foreseen darkness, so thick and cloying, it swallows everything in its path. Within this darkness, hide and seek becomes dangerous, but getting caught in a game of tag is deadly.

Take great care of yourself during the holiday season, fellow imPorts. For this is the calm before the inevitable storm.

(NOTE: If any players want their specifics foreshadowed by the Clairvoyant, remember to hit up the permissions post!)

DEFINITELY NOT TRUE, DON'T LISTEN
As seen in the 24-hour national news cycle:
Rumors of Lachesis reincarnated as a Russian continue to circulate. An anonymous source in Cyprus claims that he has seen Lachesis himself, and she is much younger than he would think a Fate to be. Another source in Norway contradicts reports of sightings, claiming that Lachesis is not a reincarnated human being, but instead she is a human-looking robot.

GIFT THAT KEEPS REGIFTING
As seen on BlueTube:
Popular video channelists (ages 15 to 35) have made their mark on this season by sending exotic (and sometimes ludicrous) gifts to imPorts. While not all unwanted gifts have been accounted for, a tallied list has been circling Bwitter of people "Port Claiming" imPorts by giving them some "holiday cheer". The up-to-date list is as follows:

XXXSANTOXXX gifted GEORGE O'MALLEY with a George O'Malley ceramic doll.
BAEWATCH gifted KANAYA MARYAM with a set of porcelain forks.
2HOTHOTDAMN gifted BILLY KAPLAN with 2000 black rubber duckies.
ASTRANGEMIND gifted NEWT a year's supply of potato chips.
ILIKEBIGMUTTS gifted KASUMI GOTO with a 2 oz. BRITISH ACCENT BREATH SPRAY
PETE_REPEAT gifted MITCHELL HUNDRED some gum.
THE_REAL_PETE_REPEATREPEAT gifted KAMALA KHAN a red sequined cape.
INERTIA3502 gifted WALLY WEST some nice jarring food.
BUMPINTHENIGHT gifted HARRISON WELLS a collected of antique medical tools dating from 1909.
MILKSHAKE1995 gifted RICK GRIMES a book on good parenting.
INOALLURSECRETS gifted KEN KANEKI a box of pink, brain-shaped candies.
HAWTBOO91 gifted BARNABY BROOKS JR. a plush doll of Kotetsu.
4DALULZ gifted AGENT WASHINGTON 10,000 Washington apples.
SARTEWASRIGHT gifted BLUE SARGENT a blue velvet top hat.
CHEEZWIZ gifted LUKE CASTELLAN a Nico di Angelo action figure.
BORNDISWHEY gifted GLITCH a table shaped like a rocket ship.
BOOKIT gifted ATHOS with five pairs of cashmere socks.
PRETTYINPINK gifted JOEL MILLER with five pairs of golden color contacts (no prescription).
MARRYMEALITTLE gifted RIZA HAWKEYE a pair of taxidermied ospreys.

WRONG MALE, MAN
Children who have the misfortune of spelling "Santa" as "Satan" will probably have their letters delivered to Lucifer. Stay in school, kids.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VIOLENT VIOLET to PLUM because in the wake of the recent imPort-related domestic horrors and the chaotic holiday spirit, a couple national newscasters plumb forgot to send their reports through the government censors, thus fostering mass delays. Those newscasters have been sent to reeducation camps.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
bestversion: (Dune)
[personal profile] bestversion
oh look it's time for the most commercialized holiday of the year. it looks like the city is getting ready to celebrate too. Yay. Exciting. :|

I don't suppose anyone is NOT celebrating Christmas and would like a pizza party instead? At home, we have pizza (because all the restaurants close on us) and I was thinking it would be nice to just hang out and pretend Christmas doesn't exist.

Invites go to anyone who says bah humbug.
mathemagier: Ten years of experience!! (Default)
[personal profile] mathemagier


Hero
[heer-oh]

noun, plural heroes;

1. a person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for their brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal.



There are a great many heroic types among the imPort population, and this is probably a rather tired question, but indulge my curiosity if you would.

What is it the elevates a person from simply well-intentioned, to someone worthy of such a distinguished title?

Deeds? Bravery? Strength? Capability? Righteousness? Nobility? All of the above, or some combination thereof?

Or is it simply that there's one person in the world that believes it?

video

Nov. 9th, 2015 09:55 pm
performance: (92)
[personal profile] performance
[ SOME NERD is addressing the network today, dressed for fall with a fashionable blue scarf and sipping a cup of coffee. It's been a while. He's feeling chatty. ]

Question! Are there any responsible-ish pseudo-adult figures out there who'd be willing to give driving lessons? Someone — hint, it's me — is turning sixteen in December. Time flies! And I'd also like to fly. Ideally in a hover car. Ideally-er without crashing it into a tree.

Not-question: welcome, newbies! I'm Dick Grayson. I'm a Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach, computer programming, and electronics repair, I'm totally available for math tutoring, and I microwave a mean Hot Pocket.

And I've been here for about a year and a half, so if you need any questions answered, I can try really, really hard to give you more than just a giant question mark in response, but... well, there are still a lot of question marks. So here are a few quick answers to some common questions. Yes, this is actually happening, no, we don't know what the deal with the Porter is, yes, you really have superpowers now, and no, you don't have to put on a cape. But I totally support you if you do. You're doing important work, and almost everyone looks good in a cape. Science fact.

[Video]

Nov. 5th, 2015 10:01 pm
morethan084: (behind)
[personal profile] morethan084
[It's later in the evening when Skye finally tries the video feature on her communicator. Sat on her bed as she finally taps the button to turn it on.]

Uh, right. So, hi. My name's Skye, sorry, been a while since I’ve done something like this. Not that you would-

[Skye wants to turn the video off and start over, but she can't.]

Right. Forgot I can’t exactly start over. So, mine name’s Skye. I come from, well, a lot of places. I work for something called S.H.I.E.L.D., which, apparently, not a lot of people around here are familiar with. We helped protect the public from finding out about superheroes. And no, not just the Avengers.

Gotta be honest, not too happy to be here considering I was brought here against my will. But I know I’m not the only one here.

[Finally Skye pauses.]

Sorry. Kind of went off on a tangent. Is anyone even out there right now?
tardily: (pic#9651398)
[personal profile] tardily
[ in front of barry is a rather large bowl of candy. it's clear that some candy ( half the bowl ) has been eaten and not just because barry happens to be eating some right when the video starts. call it him getting in the halloween spirit via candy meant for other people. he'll buy some more later. ]

Halloween is in two days, if I haven't forgotten a day or two or it isn't the wrong day. I know a reasonable amount of us are adults who are too adult to dress up or if we do dress up it's just for maybe a costume party. And those of us who aren't, just don't want to dress up or think they're too mature for it.

[ barry pauses to eat yet another chocolate bar before continuing. ]

But I like to think some of us are kids at heart. You don't have to have superheroes at home, it can apply to just here. Maybe you're a superhero at home and have other ones you just like enough to have thought about what I'm to ask.

My question is one that I only have a chance to ask around Halloween without it being weird and off topic. How many of you have wanted to dress up as a superhero before? And if you already were a superhero, have you ever wanted to dress up as another one. Just for Halloween or a costume party or whatever.

[ a pause and another candy bar is eaten. ]

You don't have to answer if you're too mature but if I'm willing to admit as a 25 year old that I've wanted to do that even today, I think some of you can admit it too. You could even do it on private, I won't tell a soul because it's a little rude to tell other people's secrets. I just want to know because Halloween's supposed to be fun, and it sounds like a fun thing to do.
inmyothertights: (Billy - my cape is making me sad)
[personal profile] inmyothertights
Hey everyone.

So if you didn't know, uh. I'm part of a team back in my world of young superheroes called the Young Avengers. It's what it sounds like, if you're from any world that might have people from mine; we're Avengers, only. You know.

Young.

Keep up, guys.

So considering our fearless leader is gone, and after that her fearless lieutenants, all you have is me, her fearless....tank. And I guess I'm stepping up now.

So here's the deal.

If you're over sixteen but you don't feel like joining the adult versions of the same kind of superhero things, talk to me, and let me know. You don't have to register with the government, I'm not registered. You don't have to be a fighter, either. We'll figure out what we can do.

Sound good?

Let me know, and all that.
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2015
Do you feel it? In the air? Something looking at you? Maybe it's just the SPIRIT of Halloween cascading down your neighborhood, maybe it's just your imagination... But with the brisker weather (something felt more in De Chima and Maurtia Falls, to be sure) comes a change in pace. Are you ready for changes, imPorts?

MEAL TIME
The Department of Agricultural Prosperity has announced a fascinating discovery: they've genetically altered mealworms that grow well beyond the normal scope of the species and will consume styrofoam leaving only biodegradable waste in their wake. Amazing!

ART DECO OR ART NECRO?
As seen in your local newspaper article plus some pictures/video on social media sites from spectators:
Maurtia Falls imPort Wins Decorations Contest!
That was what the residents of Maurtia Falls thought that this grotesque display of bodily horror and inhuman art was probably, anyway. Picture this: from the front walk of a [redacted] imPort residence, there's an extremely brightly lit room with wide open curtains and a body twisted in post mortem agony. It looks to be clawing at the air, with a pillow shoved over its face to smother it to death. Picturesque! Local law enforcement determined the gruesome, HIDEOUS, stuffed display to be the decorative outlet of a particularly disturbed but ultimately harmless individual. Locals have eventually adopted the display as extremely subtle horror art, brilliant in its ingenuity and probably not evidence of a serial killer living next door.

TRICK OR THREAT
As seen on Newspapers. UStube and BlueTube, with watered down coverage on MeTube because children's censorship:
An anonymous terror threat on the afternoon of October 20th sent shockwaves through the city of Nonah. That alleged target: a popular Nonah light rail. Evidence of biochemical weapons are present, a technique publicly associated with imPort criminal Jonathan Crane. The specific public transport line and government offices are shut down immediately. Local businesses in a ten mile radius are closed until further notice. Residents of Nonah have taken to social media criticizing local government for both an insufficient response and a triggered knee-jerk reaction. ImPorts are invited to expose any evidence connected to this threat.

CALLING ALL HOT FELLAS
As seen in newspapers and fliers posted throughout each of the Porter cities:
Three questions: Are you over 18? Are you a man? Are you an imPort that the public just can't get enough of?

If you answered YES to all of these questions, then you may be just the man we need!

We're looking for male imPorts over the age of 18 to model for a series of pinups to be included in calendars and coffee table books, which will be sold to and admired by the adoring public. We know you've got it, so don't be afraid to flaunt it!

All of the proceeds will be donated to charities in each of the Porter cities. Looking good while doing good: what could possibly be better?

Please call Deborah Lannigan at 888-956-4334 if you have any questions or would like to take part!

CRIMSON PEEKS
As seen in local news in Nonah, websites that cover the paranormal:
A group of high school and college students broke into a local cemetery... only to find themselves chased out by angry spirits! The footage of the supposed haunting is incredibly staticky, and sometimes difficult to decipher, but it shows odd lights and multiple figures chasing after the cameraman.

When asked for comment, employees insisted they'd never noticed anything odd around the cemetery, although recently they'd been having some problems with vandals.

What do you think, imPorts? Ghosts or hoax?

IMPORT VICTORY RAISES MAURTIA FALLS MORALE
As seen in ALL major news and online sources:
Natives and Imports attending this month's Halloween themed Swear-In in Maurtia Falls received more of a fright than they likely bargained for. Around midnight, about a dozen masked gunmen crashed the ceremony hosting both ImPorts and local native children, accompanied by their families. What sounds like the beginning of a gruesome story worthy of Halloween quickly turned into a tale of heroism, as the attending ImPorts were described as selflessly throwing themselves between the gunmen and natives to quickly rout the attack. Surprisingly, no casualties were sustained to native or ImPorts attendees, which many in attendance accredit the swift and clean victory to the thorough security measures set in place. Ambassador of Maurtia Falls, Revan, went on record saying "These security features are a result of the dedication and skill of several ImPort minds working in concert for the betterment of all. Now more than ever it is important to protect these events, which are a symbol of our friendship with the natives of this world. Because of this I will be donating several of these security features to the government to be installed at future Swear-Ins to provide them the same protection." Many have speculated that due to the combined might of so many ImPorts in one location banding together, as well as these new security features, people will likely think twice about attacking a Swear-In Ceremony any time soon.

APRIL SHOWERS BRINGS SHARK PROWESS
As seen on NBSea:
Nereus Study Group has reported the female great white shark named April is currently pregnant and making a beeline for the United Kingdom! Researchers have been monitoring the shark's progress in the world since she was caught and tagged last September. Unfortunately, it seems that her male counterpart (also named April) has been defeated or died of natural causes. Researchers noticed his signal had not moved as usual after the two Aprils met, and made a special trip out to check on him. They found a lone shark fin with tracking device still embedded serving as a resting place for a seagull. This takes the total of tagged and tracked great white sharks down to the female April and Lydia. Nereus Study Group only collects the data for these beautiful and misunderstood creatures; the sharks are carefully caught and seen to by the Salty Sea Dogs group near Heropa, started by local imPort Will Graham.

FLORIDA MAN SWIPED A SNATCH OF PUMPKIN SPICES
As seen on an enraged Bwitter and page 9 of The Heropa High Times:
The Great Pumpkin Spice drought continues. So far there are no suspects in who -- or WHAT -- could have snatched away all the pumpkin spice product so familiar to and so deeply beloved by so, so many. The hashtags #pumpkinship and #nutmegrevolution are trending.

WELCOME, AMBASSADOR URQUHART!
As seen in all major network channels, public radio stations, and quite frequently on Rumblr:
Congratulations to the newly elected imPort Ambassador of Nonah, Francis Urquhart! In a exciting neck-and-neck election, Urquhart pulled in just one vote ahead of his political rival Raina. As of October 20th, 2015, Ambassador Urquhart will lead Nonah's imPort community alongside Ambassadors Hundred and Revan.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from TANGERINE to BLOOD ORANGE in response to the mysterious biochemical threat leveled against Nonah.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
thesmartone: (pic#9603175)
[personal profile] thesmartone
[In all honesty the network is lucky they aren't being subjected to a serious faced redhead who has been spending most of her days either in the library, working, or at one of the local coffee shops drinking and looking through books from said library. Instead however, she opts for text messaging rather then visual representation.]

If you're reading this I'll try not to take up too much of your time. Has anyone ever heard of instances of people just not being on the network, ever? I'm trying to find my cousin.

[She debates if she should elaborate more on why Ben would probably be here, but decides it's not really important. What's important is to find out if there's a statistical possibility that Ben might be flying lower then below the radar. If it had been a few years back she might think that that would be a statistical impossibility, but honestly, Ben's grown up a lot in the last year. She could almost imagine him staying low key enough to not be noticed by the locals. Instead, she ends things there.]
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 10TH, 2015
October is in full thrust. Be sure to stock up on all your pumpkin spice flavored goodies! You never know when your local food dispenser may just discover that their supplies got... Squashed.

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
Congratulations to JINSEOK JIN and ANA RAMIR, who have been chosen from the September Swearing-In to be our official imPort Spokespeople! In probably unrelated news, this poster has been plastered all over Heropa and the Ambassador lodgings in the three other imPort cities.

CONFESSIONS OF A WALLFLOWER
Seen in the hippest Young Adult magazines, talked about on NPR, seen on day time television, and found where ever books are sold:
A new imPort-penned book has hit the shelves! One Year Posthumous is the personal account of a young woman faced with a sometimes-difficult second chance in a new world. Native teenagers are eating it up and reviews are generally positive, with many (up to daytime television hosts, even!) speculating as to the author's true identity. Buy a copy for yourself and see if it moves you. Or just try to figure out if you know this spotlight-shy author.

LITTLE TALKS
Due to the communicator glitch that occurred on October 3rd, the NSA has requested funding for an investigation. The continual threat of Russian hackers may have saw an opportunity -- or may have even been the cause -- of this apparent malfunctioning. This was definitely not a miniature crisis manufactured by your own government for spying purposes.

PROBABLY NOT IMPORTANT
Senator Haik has taken ill quite suddenly and remains in hospital, in an undisclosed location.

FRESH OFF THE VOTE
The Nonah Ambassador Election will be held THIS OCTOBER 19TH. Voting booths will be accessible for every imPort who is not A CRIMINAL, this includes imPorts who are legally minors. Must be 18 or over to run for office.

THE BALLOT THUS FAR:
Raina and Francis Ewan Urquhart. Thank you for running, you noble patriots!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VERMILLION to TANGERINE in response to overwhelming pumpkins.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
americanhustle: (Confidence)
[personal profile] americanhustle
[A handsome, well dressed man settles in front of the camera. He adjusts his tie before speaking.]

My name is Napoleon Solo, and I'm looking for a bit of assistance.

As I'm sure anyone watching must have some experience with, I seem to be lost. Rude really, to give someone a job and then not tell them where to go to find it.

More perplexing though, is the magic I supposedly have. [His tone is dubious.] I'd be very appreciative if someone could help with that issue in particular.

If you have any words of wisdom, don't be a stranger. I promise I make excellent company.
cicatrize: (pic#8277004)
[personal profile] cicatrize
Alright, kids, gather round. [ says the man in an expensive suit with Flawless Hair (it's a legitmate power now, he loves it), as he eases back into a leather office chair in what looks like a government building. if anyone's been inside the imPort public relations office, you might notice the wallpaper behind his head looks familiar. ] Seeing as our hosts have assigned me a post in the imPort Public Relations department, it seemed natural I should get to know the people I'm to be relating to.

So.

Show of hands: How many of you would've sold your nanny to get a vacation like this back home? Or something slightly less hyperbolic if you'd rather - you get the idea. [ a hand is waved dismissively, giving a flash of a watch that could probably pay for a new car, and like three rings on a single hand because son has an obsession ok. however, pricey taste aside, his voice is perfectly amiable and good-natured. casual, even, like he's chatting up friends, no hint of arrogance or pomp to it. ]

I'm not demanding life stories, so don't start hanging me for prying; just what you're willing to share. I'm only trying to get a general picture of our community. [ a pause, jack slouching some as he shrugs, nonchalant. ] Can be for anything - the powers, the second lease on life with a clean slate, or just getting away from whatever tragedy your day-to-day had turned to.

Or, maybe, the contrary. Who would sell old Nana for a chance to get out? Important chores to get to, love affairs put on hold, disagreements with the restless natives? Again, details are yours to disclose, or not, in your judgment. [ but he does want to hear the details. because he's nosey, because he's bored, because he likes knowing more about other people than they know about him. ]

By the way, manners - I'm Jack Benjamin, and a preemptive 'lovely to meet you' to all. Retraction of sentiment pending on how actually pleasant you may or may not be as an individual.

[ a beat passes, and Jack flops back some, a lopsided, boyish sort of smile pulling across his lips. if there's anything disingenious to it, it's impossible to spot. ]

But it seems like a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of day.


[[ ooc; PS, Jack's powers include Charm Speak, which he isn't using at the moment and won't be over the network, but if I could get you guys to check out his permissions page for that, that'd be badass. also, if you'd rather have your dude run into jack in person, there's an open log as well /o/ Thanks! ]]

Chapter 2

Sep. 21st, 2015 02:26 am
romancier: (Hmmm)
[personal profile] romancier
Well, it's hard to believe it's already been a month since I arrived. I suppose if I'm really going to stay here and fulfill my duties as the superhero this city deserves, then I need to have some semblance of normalcy as well!

Therefore, I require the services of a maid.

Qualifications:
-Must be female
-Must be able to cook
-Must enjoy cleaning
-Must have a bubbly personality
-Must be willing to become a model for occasional drawing/writings
-High school students welcome
-Uniform optional

If interested, please report to Maurtia Falls, Residence #002 and ask for Shigure Sohma, or simply contact me.
performance: ( art by <user name=malin-j site=tumblr.com> ) (205)
[personal profile] performance
[ The video feed comes on, and here's Dick at his desk, homework spread out in front of him, math book open. He gives the camera a casual, easy smile, twirling his pen between his fingers. ]

So, school's in again. How many of you are actually going? Why or why not?

I know, I know, it's kind of weird to think about getting an education here and then going back home and having to do it all over again, right? But on the other hand, some of us have been away from home for a really long time. It's been over a year for me. And some of us don't even want to go home.

And oh, man, I'm rambling. Sorry.

The point is, if we're going to be stuck here indefinitely, we might as well take advantage of the time we have, right? I think. Wouldn't it be cool if we actually got to remember all this when we got home? And ace all our AP classes? And be the best ever at dodgeball, and know like three extra languages, and how to calculate the trajectory of a space shuttle? Food for thought.

Anyway, I'm Dick Grayson, junior at De Chima High. My best subjects are math, gymnastics, and computer science. And if anyone out there is interested in a study date? Or a coffee date? Or maybe even a dinner date! I'm available most weeknights, and I can order in seven languages.

[ A grin, somehow making it halfway between flirty and self-deprecating. Had to try. ]

Or just a regular old study group, but where's the fun in that?
pummelling: (12)
[personal profile] pummelling
[As if his warm, unventilated, mascot-suited hero's welcome to Heropa weren't embarrassing enough, Kung Jin's also discovered that a certain someone has accidentally bewitched the local toilets.

Sentient, vengeful toilets. While employed at one of the city's busiest fast food joints. It's safe to assume that it's been A Day for him.

When he turns the video feed on, however, he's at his assigned housing and has managed to ease himself down to simmering hate as opposed to a rolling boil. He's clearly looking worse for wear: his clothes are damp and steadily dripping, but also... showing scorch marks in a few places. (That may or may not be a scrap of charred vinyl costume fused to his sleeve.) Jin takes to wringing his long ponytail out over his shoulder and addressing the network at large:
]

So, apart from Soviet toilets, what other all-powerful evils are we supposed to be fighting here? Not that I can't handle myself, but I'm a little overqualified for plumbing.

[A beat. He sniffs, drying his hands on his shirt.]

By the way, I'm new: I think I have the gist of this whole thing, but if there's anything else I should know, I'm all ears. [of course, he's scanned the brochure cover to cover, but that's no match for on-the-ground information if he can get it.]

video;

Sep. 11th, 2015 11:49 pm
112ounces: (The stars are bound to change)
[personal profile] 112ounces
[ Carl finally shows his face again on a post of his own. This time, he's somewhere outside in the grass, this time with a large and very fuzzy dog. It's not his, although the way the dog is rolling around in the grass while Carl is giving her rigorous pats. He's wearing his classic sheriff's hat. He's bright-eyed and clear, looking a lot better than he did in the past two months. ]

So, um, I put in my application for a job today. I hope I'll get the job. But if I don't, I would still recommend of anyone stopping over at Heropa Animal Shelter. No point in buying a dog when you just can just adopt one, right? Or a cat, if you like cats. I'm more of a dog person myself. Cats are cool, but dogs are more in your face?

Although cats are kinda in your face too, though they pretend they don't.

[ At least dogs actually know how to play fetch. ]

So anyway, there's that. I just want to put that out there. I don't know many imPorts that have pets, or even want to have any.
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2015
SUPERNATURAL CRITTERS have been spotted along the eastern seaboard, but especially nearer the associated imPort cities. Maybe you've seen that BlueTube video of little Jimmy riding the Loch Ness Monster? Or the on-camera meltdown of the really pissed off weathermen justifying sharknadoes via the improbability of magic? Surely you've seen Cottoneye Beau, wildlife expert, teach kiddos about the safety of JAWS? You know: JUST (be) AWARE (that) WHAT (the hell that's a damn) SHARK!? You might not have been able to catch the full glory, as Cottoneye Beau's television show was quickly cancelled by NBSea. He ended his finale by leaping into the ocean, inexplicably to music. Good television watching, boy howdy, that's for sure! Gives those reality shows a run for their money, doesn't it? But then again, why obsess over ratings (or lack thereof) -- maybe you don't give a Puck?

JUMPED THE SHARK
DVD sales of Tsharknami are going through the ROOF. And then that roof caught fire. How often can magic be blamed, really? Is this not all but some human foible at play?

No?

SNITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY
A $250,000 reward (paid full, in cash, and without tricksy taxes) for any USEFUL information about the whereabouts of one Doctor Jonathan Crane has been posted as of 9.10.15. Contact any government official with tips.

JIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL
The following will be seen on BlueTube:
Jimmy got swallowed by the Loch Ness monster in his encore internet sensation video. Hubris is the ruin of humanity.

BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE
The following will be seen in local morning show stations and UStube:
Professor Sanderson Squire II, Shakespearean Expert and tenured professor at De Chima University, has repeatedly given criticism on what he believes to be an elongated Banksy-esque performance art piece reference A Midsummer Night's Dream and lysergic acid diethylamide.

RUMOR HAS IT
The following will be seen in local tabloids:
A new superhero team is brewing! Rumor has it that a buxom blonde is leading the charge. Who could this be?? What sort of SOCIETY-inclined members could be ushering in a new kind of JUSTICE?

FOR AN ENCHANTING TIME CALL
The following will be seen in two ways: the offer to learn magic is printed on posters put up around imPort housing in the porter cities. Above each one is a small magical light, providing enough illumination to read the poster at night.

The offer of hired magic is printed in newspapers of the four porter cities as a small advertisement.

Are you an imPort? Are you sane and responsible with the use of your powers? Would you like to learn magic? Contact Sabriel and ask for an interview.

Mage for hire. Warding, enchantment, and miscellaneous spells at reasonable rates. No seances, necromancy, or love spells. Contact Sabriel at (phone number) for rates and other information.

INSERT HOMER SIMPSON SOUND EFFECT
Starting 9.13.15, FUNKIN' DONUTS (the musically-inclined donut shop chain located in Heropa, De Chima, and Nonah) will be selling FAUXNUTS. These are made-to-order donuts in the shape and likeness of imPort faces. Made-to-order, MADE-TO-EAT!

HOVER OVER, DROP DOWN BOX
The following will be seen in tabloid newspapers:
On 9.15.15 and 9.16.15, EVERY hovering device (cars, scooters, skateboards, etc) will cease to work. You might get a sputter, you might float a few feet, but inevitably gravity will shake you back down to earth. This will, strangely, NOT be reported on in legitimate newspapers.

HOT POCKET
The following will be on loop over every news television station:
At 0600 GMT on 9.16.15, USSR troops will march to the border between Finland and Russia and begin building what appears to be a wall. The US President will declare this an act of aggression, though some will call it passive-aggression.

COLOR BLINDNESS
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from RED to MAGENTA in response to the De Chima attack.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
anxiogenic: (Intrigued)
[personal profile] anxiogenic
[There's a certain anonymity in text. A certain kind of power.

Invisibility affords safety and security, yet enables the greatest cruelty. It offers the individual the chance to be sucked into the swirling whirlpool; that spiral pathway to the state of consciousness called the group mind. And at the heart of that mind is fear.

Fear is the first and greatest teacher anyone can have, he knows. How people could begin to understand the world without developing their exploration of fear, he had no idea. A child without fear of their parents is a child without an awareness of danger. Parents insure their children against failure by making them terrified of a lack of success - of being worthless in their eyes. The first lesson begins with parents, yes.

He hadn't known his parents. He'd lived with his Granny, who'd taught him to see fear was everything and nothing. It was power and control. It was empty and meaningless.

Mothering Sunday. Father's Day. Parents' Day. Today being what it is, he will help people see the truth. Should they choose to close their eyes, he'll force them open.]


Fear is the greatest enemy; the father and mother of suffering.

You set aside a holiday in which you convince yourselves you love, respect and admire your parents because you fear that you don't care. They grow old, yet you can't wait for them to die.

You give or receive gifts, but none of you are willing to focus on the motivation behind this day. You buy parental approval to avoid being called a failure. You buy cards because you fear voicing questions. You buy into the dream that keeps you an eternal child because you fear the day that comes when you will eclipse their presence.

The religious amongst you fear the Lord; the Father of all. Some of you revere Mary, the Mother of God.

But you are all terrified, frightened children. Scared of the truth. You will never win the approval you crave. You will one day be alone. You will be told you should never have been born. So you celebrate to forget. Except you forget that without a child, both Father's Day and Mother's Day are meaningless. What about the millions of children who have no father or mother?

Why do you lie to yourselves? Why do you celebrate at all?
sidecars: (another punch)
[personal profile] sidecars
[ For once Bucky isn't looking smug or even raving mad. This is kind of a new look for him. He's thoughtful, maybe even resigned. ]

So, uh, I was looking through my contacts and 'becca's not listed anymore. Rikki I guess most people called her. That means... she's gone right? Back home?

Do any of you know the last time you talked with her? A date? Ballpark it if you can.

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