glowsferatu: omg (pic#10646563)
[personal profile] glowsferatu
[ Kanaya comes onto the video huddled close to the camera, speaking almost in a whisper. She's trying to hide something, or escape prying ears. ]

So, I know this is short notice, but I'm in a bit of a bind. It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow and I've...never really hosted a party for anyone her age before? I mean, it's only her first, and I'm still working out what exactly it is that I'm doing. She's without any friends her age to invite over, and I'm not acquainted with many other young parents to take notes from. You know, she isn't like human girls, so it's not easy to socialize her with them.

So, I don't know. If anyone would be interested in celebrating a one-year-old grub's birthday, or has ideas to pass off for what such a celebration should look like...

[ She freezes, cutting herself off as she looks off to the side. Her eyes are wide as if she's been caught in the act, but so overdramatically that it must be facetious, right? Her eyes flash back to the camera, then it tilts over to a nearby doorway, where something large and white stares up. Kanaya's daughter is a moth larva who's the size of a medium dog, for now.

She clicks at Kanaya suspiciously, but Kanaya just gives her a smile.

It's nothing, darling! Go on and finish your dinner before the dog gets into it. [ Ashiah's on to her, she has to cut this short. She looks back over at the camera, and mouths "Help" before the feed ends. ]

03 | VIDEO

Jan. 3rd, 2017 02:23 pm
musclemothers: (misplaced ego)
[personal profile] musclemothers
[When the video opens, imPorts get a good sight of the top of Rusty's nose before he begins to jog backwards, revealing that the camera was set far enough away from the building to have it have a pretty damn good view of the place.

The place in question is a warehouse with its icon and the words VENTURE INDUSTRIES emblazoned on the front of the building in stylish, metallic silver letters. To be honest, the outside actually looks pretty damn impressive. He worked hard on the place.

The inside is a different story, but nobody's seeing the inside today, now, are they?]

A-hem! Good afternoon, fellow imPorts, because I have got a very big announcement to make today. I'd like to announce the formal opening of Venture Industries, a new, imPort-run R&D company. This baby right here - [he tilts his head, gesturing towards the building] - is where you'll want to go if you need a superscientist attending to your affairs. While we do a general business here, it would be neglectful of me not to mention my specialties. [Which he pronounces, this time, and this time only as spe-see-al-i-ties, because he's trying to sound fancy.] We specialize in engineering work, weaponry, and, of course, the vast field of, ah... DNA studies.

[Which is a nice way of saying that he used to have a cloning facility in his basement, but shh!]

The point being that although I've already got my hands full with government projects, I'd be more than happy to squeeze some fellow imPorts into my busy schedule. Or if any of you youngsters are looking for a truly exciting place to intern at, you have my number.

That's all. Helper, the fireworks!

[ One, solitary firework explodes over the top of the building. It looks pitiful.]


[And then a flamethrower begins to shoot incessantly from the roof. From Helper, really, who's currently standing on the roof.]

Goddamn it, this is why I need an intern, because of your incompete--

[Of course, the feed clicks off before the general public can hear any more of Rusty's verbal flagellation of his poor, confused robot.]

[ OOC: On the off-chance that anyone's interested in the offered internship or work being done, Rusty is currently accepting interns and has government contracts for advanced weaponry with additional interests in biological warfare. Feel free to PM me for further plotting or contact me on plurk at wisdombitch! ]
musclemothers: (someone save his skinny white ass)
[personal profile] musclemothers
[The scene: a karaoke bar, decked out in holiday lights, a miserable, sticky looking place with miserable, sticky looking waitresses in sexy elf costumes.

The people: one Rusty Venture, currently wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and holding a martini glass that is not, from the looks of it, his first, and one THE MONARCH!!!!, one of the few imPorts whose eyebrows dwarf Rusty’s and wearing… what he’s always wearing, really. Though he has added a festive Santa hat over his crown.

Rusty squints into the camera, takes a hefty gulp of his drink, then says,]
Sadie. Sadie, my dear, we are in need of someone to judge a little wager. This imbecile thinks he can outsing me, but we’ll leave it up to a woman of dignity and character to - to judge.

[Yeah, he’s drunk. But so is the Monarch, so at least it's an equal playing field?]

Yeah, like you know anyone of dignity and character, let alone a woman. [ The Monarch rolls his eyes. ] Did you pick a song yet?

Don’t rush genius. I swear, half of these have been done already... [Rusty props the communicator on a nearby table and hops onto the stage with an effeminate sort of flourish, scrolling through the songs available.] There. Twelve Days of Christmas.

[The karaoke midi file begins to play the intro, and so it begins.]

Twelve Days of-- Are you fucking kidding me? Everyone's done-- On the first day of Christmas my arch rival gave to meeee…

You can’t even sing the first line right? [Oh, shit, he missed his cue. Rusty’s voice isn’t pleasant, but he’s hitting the majority of the notes at least.] Oh, shit -- OntheseconddayofChristmas my true love gave to meeeee two turtle doves and a -- okay, see, there are lyrics there. On the screen. Are you illiterate?

[ The Monarch gives up early, talking through most of the next verse. ] Have you ever even done this whole Christmas song shit? Half the point is making it your own!

And a partridge in a pear treeeeeee.

Come on! All Christmas is is a bunch of traditions stitched together. Why the hell else would people be singing this nonsense? People only want to hear what they’ve already heard before. But I should’ve known that you’d mess this up too. How drunk do I have to --

[oh. He missed a lot. But he’s not going to miss this one. He stretches one arm out like a spindly Liberace as he belts:] FIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIIIIII--.

[ His arm almost hits the Monarch in the face, so the Monarch's gonna go ahead and just shove him off the stage (while Rusty emits a particularly high pitched screeching sound following a loud thump and a horrified declaration of I’m bleeding!) and the video cuts out as it devolves into the world's scrawniest, shriekiest karaoke bar brawl. ]

[ ooc ; if you need a reference point for these awful voices, you may find the Monarch singing with his wife HERE and Rusty's VA HERE. ]
exceptfebruary: a shadowed calendar man in full costume (Costumed Crook)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
Once, Thanksgiving was celebrated by proclamation. This nation was called to give thanks, to celebrate.

It transformed into tradition. Then an annual holiday. Now it is commonplace.

[ He pauses, purposefully. His voice is soft and calm. ]

We've been taken from our worlds. Our homes. Our times. I have been here for ten months, two weeks and four days. Some of you have been here for years. Others, much less.

In that time, is there anything in this world you are thankful for? People. Places. Things. Or perhaps thankful to be here. Or maybe you're not thankful at all. Maybe everything you're thankful for has been ripped away from you.

Regardless. Today is a day to give thanks. So tell me. What are you thankful for?

001 - video

Oct. 4th, 2016 05:54 pm
butterflyforawhiteguy: (010)
[personal profile] butterflyforawhiteguy
[ The video feed goes live to a view of a blank wall that would look very much like every living room wall in the Heropa government housing block, if not for the fact that it has recently been painted an eye-searing shade of fuchsia. There's the sound of a computer mouse being double-clicked, then an ominous, suspenseful song begins to play. The sound of maniacal laughter overwhelms the music, and the video feed jostles and then is panned up in an awkward selfie angle to reveal a middle-aged man with truly impressive eyebrows… dressed in a butterfly costume. ]


[ He laughs maniacally again, then stops to clear his throat. ]

Seriously, you had all better be bowing right now. For you are now under the control of the Monarch! This world's feeble, useless government has clearly teleported me here to rule you. Even if they did stick me with the world's stupidest cover gig. Seriously, who thought a fucking day job was necessary? I'm not even going to dignify that with my presence.

No! The Monarch is above such petty nonsense as a 9-to-5! The only job I will devote myself to is arching DOCTORRRRR VENTURRRRE.

[ He breaks into cackling again. ]

...But, uh. First I'm gonna need some henchmen. I mean, obviously. How the hell am I supposed to arch without henchmen? So I'm having an EVIL EMPLOYMENT FAIR in the, uh— [ He glances at a piece of paper. ] The gymnasium at Heropa Middle School. Seriously? What the fuck, they could've at least put me in the high school! Do these people even know who I am? I'm the fucking Monarch, not some… Eagle Scout master!

Whatever. You're all expected to come pledge your allegiance to your new lord and master and pick up your uniform. And if not enough suitable applicants show up, I'll… I'll… I'LL KIDNAP SOME!!

[ There's more evil laughter before the feed cuts out. ]


maskormenace: (Default)