doctopussy: (armed and dangerous)
[personal profile] doctopussy
[ The voice that speaks isn't Otto's; it's a Voice-To-Text robot. He then includes a text transcription to reach the widest audience possible. ]

Good evening, imPorts.

There is a significant matter which we need to discuss:

How shall we destroy the Porter?
fehus: ✺ fehus. (do i sound happy or not.)
[personal profile] fehus
hey. two things:

1. where do unsettled imPorts go to get their non-standard gear? trying search terms like "Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium" is bringing me to some cool sites (did you guys know there's a developing roomba ultimate fighting ring in MF?) but not the ones i'm actually looking for. thanks.

2. what would you do with your last day on whatever-non-specific-planet-or-plane-of-existence you came from? inquiring battle boys want to know, i guess.

EDIT: a third thing 3. where are there chocolate fountains?
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2017
Acts of forgiveness has softened the imPort image -- in no small part because of the recent spats of violence and aggression directed against imPorts. But many are looking towards the future; excitement is beginning to ripple over the next Swearing-In. Rumor has it none other than Daenerys Targaryen is heading the event.

UNDER THE WEATHER
As seen on local Heropan television:
Newcomer imPort Eddison Tollett made his first sensation on the internet, right on his first day on the job at De Chima Channel Six News! His position as a weatherman led to some very interesting forecasts, while wearing some very heavy winter black clothing.

Some choice moments:

"Early morning you will get fog here. Congratulations on not seeing anything, I guess."

"This coming Sunday there will be rain. Then why bother calling it Sunday, are you trying to make things worst?"

And the ever controversial:

"Monday comes the chance of rain. All the gods like to piss on us all."

And piss they did.

KEN U D33G IT
As seen in celebrity gossip blogs and TMI Magazine:
Love is brewing: boss and employee - secret romance?

To everyone's surprise, imPort Ken Kaneki, known ghoul and coffee shop owner, was seen together with one of his employees, D33. Although little is known about the mysterious D33, the idea of a boss-employee relationship (as well as an inter-species relationship) has raised many eyebrows, and fans seem to be both quite amazed and surprised by the idea!

The two were seen at the cinema together viewing the hit movie, "Dusk", which many fans claim to be a sign of its own considering that the movie tells the tale of a forbidden and heated romance between a Vampire and a Human.

"I'm pretty sure I've seen them holding hands!" 16-year-old Vanessa Rogers says enthusiastically on a video uploaded to BlueTube under her account. Many photographs of Kaneki and D33 have been uploaded to the "Kennibals" website reporting this whole event, and they show the two exiting the theater once the movie was over and heading to the beach together.

Fans guarantee romance is in the air and late summer love will prevail!

[ Many pictures of Kaneki and D33 at the movies (while watching Twilight Dusk) and at the beach follow. ]

NAY, WE ARE BUTT MEN
As seen on television, in De Chima newspapers, Bwitter, and on Rumblr:
A larger than life homage to Ambassador Sam Merlotte’s derrière became a social media sensation overnight after it appeared outside of Merlotte’s under mysterious circumstances. The bronze statue, which immortalized the Ambassador’s naked bottom in stunning detail, has since been removed, but not before photos of locals paying tribute to the artwork went viral on bwitter under #ambASSador. Doctored pictures of the statue touring the world and even traveling through time and space have continued to surface long after the original work vanished, fueling wild speculation about its fate.

Will the statue return once its pilgrimage is complete? Only time will tell.

CARTOON NETWERK
As seen on Bwitter:
Rumor has it that a new animated show starring the uncanny likenesses of imPorts will be airing this fall. An alleged cast list has been leaked with the following names:
Don Smurfy
Sad Weeney
Mina Squelcher
Hinders
Juice Dane
Ron Soot
Sandy Bark
Tio Mando
Thrice
Red Ivy
Kaan Cannibal
Ripe Hide

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FULVOUS to EBURNEAN, because all is well if you squint.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

REMINDER: please use the designated text box when writing our your submissions.
versusseeker: (Eh...)
[personal profile] versusseeker
hey guys

[You might not be able to tell this from the text alone - but it's a nervous one. Red isn't used to talking much, even when it's not out loud - it's just plain hard for him. And that's made it pretty hard for him to make friends - and not just in this world. It's something that Red has always struggled with. Forming connections with Pokémon - animals, even? That's always been easy - even more so now that he can actually talk to them. The problem is is that he still can't talk to just regular old people.]

looking 4 frnds

[No, that's not enough. He knows that's not enough. He has to say more or they're not gonna get it - deep breaths, Red.

[Alright. Here it goes.]

i dnt tlk much
can b hard 2 make them
but i have pkmn


[Spell it out, Red.]

pokemon**
theyre cool if u wnt 2 see them

i thnk i am p nice
try 2 b


[With that, he lets the post go - but, a moment later, an edit appears:]

i don't have to type that way if you don't like it.

text

Sep. 3rd, 2017 10:17 am
siriusly: (pretty sure i got this)
[personal profile] siriusly
Good morning everyone,
I'm supporting some continuing cleanup activity for the Nonah police, relating to the vandalism. If you see any more, or have noticed new problems come up, you can let me know. I can't imagine a party being what stops upset people from expressing their feelings like this, so...
(This offer is OK for other cities too! I've talked to each hub city's police commissioners about my offer and gotten the green light to support)

Also...if you're not feeling safe in your neighborhood, let me know. I can talk to some of the staff who assign patrol rotations and see if things can be moved around. It might not be too much, but it's something that can help.

That's all for right now I think...thank you for your support!

text;;

Aug. 25th, 2017 06:39 pm
hunksmash: (why do you hate me)
[personal profile] hunksmash
apparently my powers changed.

is there any way to test one's invulnerability that isn't terrible and frightening with the potential to end horribly?

please don't offer to take a literal stab at me. my heart can't take it.
anxiogenic: (Calmness)
[personal profile] anxiogenic
[The video feed, active and recording, shows Crane in his study - but not as usual behind his desk. It rolls around and shows him leaning over the mantelpiece with his elbow, without his jacket, still wearing his sweater vest and tie, with his sleeves rolled up in a manner one might consider casual. He doesn't look at the camera as he gets to work removing an inkwell and quill and then sets down a wooden perch.

Without warning, there's a structured burst of cawing followed by a period of quiet.

Crane steps away from the fireplace and looks up at the lighting. Squatting on the lamp's metal arm is a short-billed black bird. It looks much like all the other black birds one can spot around town.]


If you are quite through?

[He ignores the camera a bit longer in order to bench it on its perch, but not for the first time it flies back to where it seems comfortable. He tries again, and not much to his surprise it returns home. Despite the clear camaraderie the two of them share, he leans on one side and directs his eyes at the ceiling. He is not generally fond of opinions from the masses but finally addresses the camera admist another round of cawing.]

I cannot very well invite him to fly around my office anonymously. If you would like to name him, I will take on board your suggestions.

[Trying not to sound too frustrated, he checks his sleeve. His face goes thunderous.]

Excuse me.

[He clicks his nails against the mantlepiece and then, in true fashion, at least to those who know him, preserves his dignity by switching off the video.]
itistolaugh: (I'm the new outbreak monkey!)
[personal profile] itistolaugh
[Harley smiles and waves at the camera. The room is clearly not her own, for anyone that knows her. Too many books and not enough glitter. In fact, it seems rather Jonathan Crane-esque. That's because it is Jonathan Crane's home, where she's been crashing since the floods in Heropa. She has to speak a little louder than normal to be heard over the strange animal noises in the background.]

Hey, I'm back! And now I've got my sweetie pie big smelly babies with me, yes I do! Say hi, babies!

[She turns the camera to where the "babies" — two fully grown spotted hyenas — are intensely focused on something off-camera, with their tails up and teeth bared. One of them turns briefly to whoop at mommy, and then joins his brother to giggle and chitter toward the top of a bookcase.]

Aren't they just the biggest sillies? They can definitely bite your legs off though, so ask before you pet if you see 'em around. And speaking of biting things, uh...

[The view moves up and focuses on a dark lump on top of the bookcase. The lump is a cat, terrified out of his tiny mind.]

That's Wizkers Khalifa. He's a total sweetheart but really skittish, so I think he should be somewhere quiet where he's the only pet, or at least where nobody is trying to eat him. He's been my buddy for two years, so it's really important that I know he's in a good home, and I want to come over and see him from time to time.

Oh, there's Johnny. Hi, J— Nope, there he goes.

[The camera swings for a glimpse of Crane swiftly leaving the room, before moving back to poor Wiz.]

He's embarrassed of me. Anyway, let me know if you want to meet the cat. Sooner the better.
pyrogue: (hair follicles elude local man)
[personal profile] pyrogue
Hey everybody, Mick here.

[ The bald man on camera is trying to be friendly but there's a part of him that's just wary -- he didn't want to have to do this but it's been a bit too long. ]

First off, if you know anybody that's hiring, lemme know. Been looking for a new job and can't really get one in the same line of work as my last one. Can't really blame 'em.

Before I came here I did lots of different kinda work but you can't really put it on a resume. Who d'you call for references? But I figured imPorts might be a bit more understanding so I'm including my previous work experience. I can include my "official" resume if you want, this is just the stuff I left out.

[ And he includes a text attachment: ]

- Fire-eater
- General labor at a Matchsticks Factory
- Production worker at a Glassworks Factory
- Superhero understudy at Cadmus Labs
- FBI anti-Rogue consultant
continuousgroaning: (uhm okay...)
[personal profile] continuousgroaning
[Once Tina had had everything explained to her, she intended to do... something. Maybe not give a great big speech, but at least say hello, meet the people she'd be living and working with. However, the stage fright kicks in and all that comes out of her mouth is an uncertain groaning noise.]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

[She shuts up then, and switches to text.]

sorry, I get horrible stage fright sometimes. i guess here it's even worse because I wouldn't think of myself as being superhero material. especially when my powers are

that I can cook really well and pass through things?

And I have a job at a jeans factory, which doesn't fit with either of those. am I at least in good company?

oh, my name's Tina :)

[video]

Apr. 19th, 2017 09:07 am
candor1: (Yavin . andamiaje . cara amistosa)
[personal profile] candor1
[He's had plenty of time to toy with this gizmo (all technical terms, thank you mental projection of Kay that's moved back into his brain now that it's not too painful because there's a real Kay again, shush), but still hasn't put himself on it for more than a brief response to Catelyn Stark.

For all his well-[founded?]-honed mistrust of open networks, it has chastened him that he could have found Jyn and Kay much more quickly if he'd used it from the start. For all the research he does, it's unignorable that he's wasting a huge amount of this powerful resource by relegating himself to observer, not participant.

…And there's one or two other imPorts he's learned about that… have caught his attention. He's wondering if he'll catch theirs.

So, network, hello: months after his arrival (albeit a good percent of them spent unconscious): Human. Male. Age hard to tell: either in his thirties-forties or face prematurely hollowed and lined. Hair: dark, cut as if by himself with a tool not meant for such use and no mirror. Eyes: several galaxies' worth. Shirt doesn't look like anything specific to those who wouldn't know the style, instantly recognizable as Corellian to those who would.

Then he smiles—in a way that seems entirely effortless, genuine, and engaged—and some of the agedness falls away. The eyes crinkle and sparkle. He seems approachable and warm. Even the haircut is transformed into seeming less unloved and more boyish. It gives this stranger the face of a friend.

His accent, when he speaks, sounds Hispanic to Earth American ears.]


I was wondering, if you're willing to share—

[on an open network, though that's not necessarily a good barometer of the network itself]

Are you still in the job you were assigned? Yes or no, how is it going for you?

I've read the introductory material on this. I'm wondering about personal experiences.

[He's tried to go beyond the official literature, including as much of the backlog as he could find or slice. Which is also why he doesn't repeat Godric's question (to which the answers were exceedingly helpful—and a few that sent a shiver up his spine. But pull it together, don't apply superstitious thought to the superstitious thoughts: that's what common cosmological models do).


As if in afterthought, and as if with self-conscious awkwardness, he adds]


…and hello. My name's Cassian.
h2no: (CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE)
[personal profile] h2no
[what a lovely scene; the sun is shining, the seagulls are shrieking, and archie has a cool pair of shades on. observant viewers will note that the people walking past archie seem to be disturbed by something that isn't on the screen.]

Yo. Any 'a you lot know what Heropa's city council is doin' about the litter all around here? There's a buncha bins over full and every time I try and tell 'em I just get an automated message. You'd think they'd keep the bally public areas clean, right? They're a lot more on top of that in Hoenn.

[he snorts.]

Then again, if ya don't where I come from, ya get these hanging around. [archie moves the camera, showing his Pal: a very large, very sentient pile of slime absolutely going to town on one of the bins.

when it notices archie pointing the camera at it, it waves happily.]


Muk, muk!

Yeah, hi to you too, ya stinky bastard. See, these form. Not here, though. Anyway, you'd think they'd listen to an imPort, right? Ain't we meant to have some kinda standin'? Or is it because I haven't personally saved the world? [his lip curls.] Whatever. Anyone that wants to give me a hand wi' the government or this crap lemme know. Muk here is basically a living trash can, so it's good eatin' whatever. Those garbage trucks ain't got a foot to stand on with him around. I can't do much ta help those afflicted with the sleepin', so might as well make sure what they're wakin' up to ain't fulla garbage, right?

[this also may be a low-key way to find out who might want to join the new team aqua when he sets them up. archie's decided they'll definitely work on environmental issues, and this is just one of them.

the camera lingers on muk for a few minutes more, showing a brave passer-by tossing an empty wrapper to it with archie's encouragement, then them both laughing as muk enthusiastically devours it.]

[Video]

Apr. 8th, 2017 04:36 am
prophesiedone: <user name="robins" site="insanejournal.com"> (𝙎ith)
[personal profile] prophesiedone
[There is a hooded figure on the feed, his face shadowed. Except for his eyes. They alone glow a bright yellow-gold.]

I am seeking other Jedi. [His eyes dim and he shifts, arms crossed over his chest.] My name is Anakin Skywalker and I do not recognize this world or any of its cities. I will be traveling to each city in turn, searching for answers; searching for allies. You could save me a trip by giving me what I seek now.

[Anakin pushes back his hood at last, smiling. Instead of the expression being comforting, it is unnerving - almost like he is one step away from breaking.]

Are there any ships? I'd rather not have to build one from scratch. [Though, technically, he probably could.] You can't tell me this is the only planet in the galaxy that doesn't have at least one ship.
wizzardly: (The flaw in the argument)
[personal profile] wizzardly
[Happy Ides, everyone. To celebrate, here's a pale, shaken wizzard on your screen, standing in some nondescript Maurtia Falls allet. If the pallor of his skin makes him look a person who may be ill, that's probably because he is. Or at least was. Barely thirty seconds ago, violently, behind a trash can.]

Once, just once I'd like to go a month without - without the streets flooding with ghosts, or being in ridiculous brawls in bars with bears, or being kidnapped, or - or -

[Rincewind breaks off with a pained, miserable expression, glancing back over his shoulder. As he does so, the video shifts enough to show a dumpster with its lid open, a bag of trash abandoned outside it. The angle makes it impossible to see inside.]

...There's a body in there. Two, er, halves of one. Someone's, um...

[Rincewind swallows thickly, fighting another wave of nausea.]

I don't think she's an imPort. ...Was. Gods.

Look - someone come deal with this, will you? That's what you heroes are meant to do, right? So one of you needs to bloody well get out here. I'm not - I can't - this isn't my responsibility.

text

Feb. 16th, 2017 05:14 pm
h2no: (AND THEN WE'LL SAY HOORAY)
[personal profile] h2no
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT A WEEK NOW, AND HONESTLY I WAS RIGHT CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE "AMERICA" THING UP UNTIL LAST NIGHT.
TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I ATE A BURGER OFF A SHOVEL AND HAD THE SHORTEST FISTFIGHT OF MY LIFE WITH A GUY WHO HAD A BIG ISSUE WITH THE FACT I HAD NO IDEA THIS COUNTRY EXISTED UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO.
IT TURNS OUT AMERICANS DON'T LIKE 6FT TALL BATS. IT WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING.
ANYWAY, DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA? THE SCAMPS I'M SUPPOSED TO TEACH HOW TO SWIM WANT TO MAKE A SOCIAL MEDIA FOR THEIR GROUP AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL ANY OF THEM ARE TALKING ABOUT.
IS IT SOME KIND OF DEXNAV THING??

Profile

maskormenace: (Default)
maskormenace

Tags