fehus: ✺ fehus. (do i sound happy or not.)
[personal profile] fehus
hey. two things:

1. where do unsettled imPorts go to get their non-standard gear? trying search terms like "Big Al's Wild'N'Crazy Battle Boy Emporium" is bringing me to some cool sites (did you guys know there's a developing roomba ultimate fighting ring in MF?) but not the ones i'm actually looking for. thanks.

2. what would you do with your last day on whatever-non-specific-planet-or-plane-of-existence you came from? inquiring battle boys want to know, i guess.

EDIT: a third thing 3. where are there chocolate fountains?
socialactivillain: (but i didn't and i wonder why)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
I need a list of about 80 or 90 pet names, if anybody has any suggestions.


Alternatively, I'm taking opinions on when it's not worth it to try to name individual animals anymore, and just refer to them as a collective.
magnitudes: (٩( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑)
[personal profile] magnitudes
( The scene:
Sarissa, with what looks like twisted up kitchen roll shoved up each nostril, the paper bloody. Her nose is puffy, bruised, the skin across the bridge of it and around her eyes looking almost purple, but it hasn’t bowed to either side.

Underneath said tragedy, Sarissa’s mouth is tugged in a wide smile. )


Fuckin’ oath, mates. My sister clocked me good. Can you see this?

( The camera is waved around, to get different angles of her poor nose. ) Bloody legend. I was worried she’d be useless at self-defence, but I take back everything. And she’s driving me to A n’ E.

( She’s in a car, by the way. A nice one. The seats are a deep red leather, and in the driver's seat but considerably less jovial is Sarah. She turns the camera to actually get a shot of Sarah for a couple of seconds before twisting the camera away again. )

It was an accident, we’re good and golden. Lesson learned, but, don’t try to tickle attack Saroula when she’s groggy.

( A sniff, and she makes a little “ow” sort of face that is more comical than sincere. )

Anyway, just wanted to say we’re gonna have a big fuck off barbie at ours, soon. Last part of the summer— or uh, first part of the autumn? And if you happen to also have a homicidal ex-boyfriend who has been ported out for more than a month, then you get to receive a special prize. Like, I dunno. You can take home the bouncy castle, or something. Everyone’s invited, unless I don’t like you, but if you ain’t sure and you got a seal of approval from one of the girls, then you’re good. But everyone bring some food or something, ‘cause I ain’t cooking endless bloody mountains of food when I don’t know how many people are turning up. For one, I'm cheap, and for two, I'm lazy.

( Another little sniff, and Sarissa looks across at Sarah. Dramatically: ) Do you reckon I can still get away with serenadin’ myself in the mirror? You’re beeeeautiful—

( That might just be Sarah’s hand reaching over to try and knock Sarissa’s device out of her hand. )

No, Sarah, you broke my nose, you get to listen to me sing James bloody Blunt, that’s the rules. Maybe Snow Patrol, okay, or Shania, that’s my compromise.
twatter: ([ 18 ])
[personal profile] twatter
[ And we're live. The Technical Boy is seated on his bed in his room, communicator in one hand and the newest uPhone in the other, distractedly playing one of those mindnumbing mobile games. Every once in a while, the sound effects chirp, chime and serve as background music. His room's been redecorated in geometric decor and a roomba goes zooming by on the floor. ]

24.45 hours studying this network. And I'm bored.

[ Implied: You're boring. ]

You guys are practically gods. Granted, that's a lowercase G. But still. Your power here goes unmatched and all you can do is sit around talking about restaurant recommendations and dating sims? How about we have some real talk.

[ His thumb blurs over the screen of his uPhone, taking just a minute to beat the level with an air of superiority. Everyone can wait for him to make his proposal because he's definitely more important. And once the victory fanfare sounds, he tosses the phone to the side -- for the first time giving his full attention to the camera. ]

You're the old models. The old generation of imPorts who are just waiting to be made anew. So here's where I come in.

[ A beat. A smirk. A drag off of his vape pen. ]

Let's talk Upgrades.
h2no: i am a genius (WE'LL DIG UP THE BOX)
[personal profile] h2no
[ though may is the first thing that can be seen on the feed, it’s the sound of a high-pitched yipping that comes before she can speak. only a moment later, a small, gray puppy can be seen sniffing and investigating the camera. may giggles, picking up the dog(?) and plopping it in her lap. ]

C’mon, settle down a little. You’re gonna be getting a new brother or sister soon!

puppers!!! )

» voice

Jul. 9th, 2017 04:27 am
hellene: (pic#11529861)
[personal profile] hellene
Hello? Is this meant to be spoken into? There is no circular apparatus by which to dial a number—

Ah. The light says "recording." Good. I have a question: which of these cities is most in need of help? Eventually I'll see to all, but those most in need should be helped first. I've heard gossip on the street while strolling of riots, blackouts and a shortage of food. Is that everywhere, or simply in the place called De Chima?

( Diana repeats this messages in a dozen different languages, just in case. There's a long pause afterward, and then she says quietly: )

Peace seems to elude this world. I must wonder if he survived.

( He being her half-brother, of course. Though she doesn't elaborate. )
vidiocracy: (I hacked computer programs)
[personal profile] vidiocracy
[There is a boy on screen. A teenage boy. A small teenage boy. His hair spikes straight up in the air, but he somehow has also crammed a baseball cap on it. He has various electronic devices clipped to lanyards he is wearing, or simply strapped to his body. He is wearing finger-less gloves. He is obviously extremely cool. You can tell by how bored he looks.]

Hey. Hello-o. Whoever you are?

[He is also standing in front of a police car. And a police officer, who looks mildly annoyed and slightly confused. Even as the boy broadcasts on his communicator, his fingers tap tap tap on another one of his devices. He doesn't even have to look at it.]

This game, or whatever? Sucks. One: it's totally boring. I took this cop car, and I didn't even get any bonus points, I just got this guy-

[He jerks his head in the cop's direction.]

-telling me I can't take a cop car. Uh. Obviously I can, duh, and if I wasn't supposed to, why did you program it in? Two: if I'm playing army hero, where's my gun, huh? All I got was this iPhone knock off that doesn't shoot squat, and some boring car cutscene. Two: kidnapping people for your immersive gaming experience is stupid, and if you thought you'd get publicity by using me, the joke's on you. Mike Teavee is nobody's click-bait, and I can't even log onto twitter and live tweet about how dumb this is. Hashtag: fail. Hashtag: you. Hashtag: you fail. And if my mom said you could do this to me... If it was after 5pm, her consent is dubious, at best. And two: I'm over it, so send me home. Not through your fake-news teleporter. That's not what they feel like. I would know. Just call my mom...and...have her...th-...

[His eyes have wandered to his tablet screen. His voice trails off, his attention on whatever game he's playing there, oblivious to the fact that his communicator is still on, and that there is an actual world around him. And then, without looking up:]

But I'll take more fake tattoos if you have any better ones.

text; 002

Jun. 18th, 2017 11:34 am
picksthenames: (flashback arms crossed)
[personal profile] picksthenames
[ Cisco is trying his best to put his best foot forward with this advertisement, so he's going out of his way to actually capitalize words and use proper punctuation. Be proud of him. ]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the ImPort community, my name is Cisco Ramon, and I'm here to offer my services to you. The Porter brings us here, gives powers to those of us who don't already have them, and the Government wants us to use those powers to fight crime as heroes. For some people, that's just another Tuesday. But there's a whole subsection of the ImPort community that doesn't come with pre-made costumes or alternate identities.

Ramon Tech is here to help.

Back home, I outfitted Central City's heroes with the clothes and tech they needed to fight criminal metahumans. We're talking the Flash, Kid Flash, Jesse Quick, Vibe, and others. My tech has made it to other cities, times, and alternate Earths. But you don't have to take my word for it. I have examples of my work to show you:
Attachments:

Feel free to contact me here or via my personal line. All client identities are kept confidential. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, or set up a time for us to meet in person.

Thank you for your time. 🖖

video

Jun. 9th, 2017 08:57 pm
airshow: (I sent an 18 page sext.)
[personal profile] airshow
[ The feed opens inside a bar, the decor of which can best be described as "the circus comes to Florida." There's an inordinate amount of neon signs on the walls, as well as the head of a taxidermied alligator wearing enormous novelty sunglasses. The soft yet somehow ominous clucking of chickens can be heard from somewhere offscreen.

James places a martini glass full to the brim with olives and, it's safe to assume, a small amount of actual martini, on the bar.
]

I call it the Cyclops Orgy. [ stage whisper: ] See, the olives are the eyes?

Now, while I'm obviously fan-gosh-darn-tastic at naming drinks, even a genius has to admit when he could use some fresh ideas. So! You submit your best boozy drink names — recipes optional — and if I use yours, you may win faaabulous prizes, including but not limited to: unlimited whack-a-mole tickets, a set of lawn flamingos that I decorated myself, aaand possibly even the world's cutest pony!

video

May. 23rd, 2017 05:06 pm
knaval: (with all the lies in the books)
[personal profile] knaval
Hi, again. My name's Riptide! I forgot to introduce myself last time. Not very polite, but whatever. Anyway, I have a question about organic stuff!

[he seems a bit nervous, this time.]

Wwwwwhat's the, uh. What's the age limit for tutoring on this planet? Asking for a friend.
couldbebeautiful: (can we be seventeen?)
[personal profile] couldbebeautiful
[The feed opens onto a view of a kitchen in De Chima, and—a Roomba. The Roomba that's come with this particular household, in fact, whirring cheerfully away. It doesn't actually seem to be cleaning, however: in fact, it's just soaking up the sunlight by the window, like a cat.

This is already weird enough by itself, but clearly the person shooting this video has other plans. The camera turns, to reveal Veronica Sawyer.]


So I noticed this little—what was it called, a Roomba? It's started following me around lately, which is really weird but kinda cute. [She smiles a little.] I just came home and saw it like this.

[She turns the camera around again, to focus on said Roomba. It is now making an odd whirring noise that could easily be construed as a mechanical version of a purr. Then she turns the video back on herself.]

Anyone feel like helping me name a semi-sentient vacuum cleaner that thinks it's a cat? Personally I'm leaning towards Fluffy, but I'm open to suggestions.

3.0 \ Text;

May. 2nd, 2017 09:34 pm
snarkbot: (goldmine of information)
[personal profile] snarkbot
Greetings, Network. My name is Skeets. As new imports come trickling in again, I have something important for us to discuss.

As you're aware, imPorts by definition do not come from this Earth and are instead from various alternate universes. Some of us come from the same or similar worlds to each other, while others come from vastly different ones. This has created an organizational problem for me in my file-keeping. I'd like to categorize known worlds but as of yet I haven't many records of names.

I believe it's about time we agreed on some names for our home universes to make things easier - not just for data collection but also to make it easier for us to talk about them.


Skeets has a survey, under the cut for your convenience )

[Video]

May. 2nd, 2017 12:22 am
faithfulson: (Soft and simple)
[personal profile] faithfulson
[ Luke doesn't look like he's sure he should be putting up videos on the network. He still has his father to worry about, and then there was that warning about Dooku... but he still needs help, and presenting a friendly face was the best way to get it, right? ]

Um... hello?

[ ...or he could feel like an idiot being camera shy. He let out a sigh at himself, shaking his head. ]

Is there anyone here that's familiar with growing crystals? Or making them grow?

A friend of mine has a crystal I need, but I don't want to take hers. If there's a way for me to duplicate it somehow, or find a way to have part of it grow into a new crystal structure, it would be really helpful.

[TEXT]

Apr. 19th, 2017 05:59 pm
beautiful_monster: ([p] L E G)
[personal profile] beautiful_monster


You know they'll give out certificates for whatever you want on the internet?

video/text

Apr. 6th, 2017 08:32 pm
notgneiss: (how many humans can you fit into a cart?)
[personal profile] notgneiss
Ugh... can't I even control who I see? What kind of a scrying device is this? [the screen is covered for a moment as shale pokes at it, annoyed.] Only mages could create something like this then make it completely worthless! Hmm...

[the feed abruptly switches to text as shale mashes the buttons.]

jdfjhdfkmjfdoks ndnjf;vc;ewu78hbg

[aaand back to video.]

No... device! Show me more flesh beings suffering! Does it need a sacrifice? I've already crushed at least five pigeons! Does it want something more substantial?

video 🌟

Feb. 9th, 2017 06:10 pm
shittywizard: (Default)
[personal profile] shittywizard
[ A very fashionably dressed, green-skinned elf wearing a dapper, pointy hat over his long blond hair peers over the tops of some neon pink sunglasses to look into the camera. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem all that concerned with how this handheld technological wonder is able to broadcast him live, despite clearly being some sort of fantasy wizard. ]

So, this place is fucking bonkers, huh? One minute, I'm minding my own business, polishing the handle of my Umbra Staff and pretending to listen while some asshole tells me about his fish, and the next thing I know, I'm in some crazy bullshit world with floating battle wagons and way more elevators than could ever possibly be necessary.

On the bright side, I guess I'm a makeup artist now? Which sounds pretty sweet, I guess. Making people nicer to look at and not running all over the world to track down stupid-powerful weapons of mass destruction and almost getting killed every other Thursday? Sign me up! I needed a vacation, anyway.

But here's a really important question for all you listeners out there: who's gonna point Taako in the direction of the nearest day spa? Cha boy's had a hell of a day, and my pocket spa just ain't cutting it.

text;

Feb. 5th, 2017 05:04 pm
picksthenames: (are you sure about this?)
[personal profile] picksthenames
at the risk of being That Guy, i gotta ask: whats the deal with the job assignments for new imports? are they all jokes or is the universe just messing with me?

either way, im definitely in the market for something better. the government wasnt helpful enough to kidnap me with a resume or references on hand, so i guess youll just have to take my word for it, but here goes:

names Cisco Ramon, techspert extraordinaire. masters in engineering, second best coder on my earth. app writer, gear inventor, whatever you need. i can weld, i can solder, i can sew (leather, which let me tell you, is a bitch to work with). new to this earth so help a brother out and tell me where to look, or just offer me a job, thatd be great either way. shacked up in heropa but commutings easy with these porter things right?

so yeah. call me. been a while since i had to look for a new job, but im pretty sure my interview game is still on point.

LLAP. 🖖

Text 01

Feb. 3rd, 2017 06:52 pm
beautiful_monster: ([p] Who leaked this picture >()
[personal profile] beautiful_monster
Are these jobs the Americans give out for real? I thought after school coaches were all volunteers. Are people really going to pay for that?

Another question: what's the deal with America and Russia? Kind of doubt I'm going to get a straight answer out of these two.


[There's an image attached to the message—a candid shot of a pair of shameless lovebirds. Yurio can be seen at the very edge of the image looking decidedly unimpressed with them. Don't they know there are serious issues to discuss??]

(1) Voice

Feb. 3rd, 2017 08:58 am
outofthepast: (Really sick ghoul)
[personal profile] outofthepast
[There’s a few minutes of unsure tapping on the communicator’s microphone, accompanied by some quiet mumbling about radio frequencies. A voice with a Chicagoan accent that is just faintly reminiscent of Humphrey Bogart finally makes itself audible.]

Been a long time since I’ve seen one of these. Hope I’m not accidentally talking through somebody’s refrigerator.

Anyway, good afternoon, to everybody listening. Nick Valentine here. Nice to meet all my fellow "Imports," I guess, is what they're calling us. Figured I should get used to the broadcasting life, since that's what they've hired me to do. I always thought I had a face for radio.

[The slightest of pauses while he gathers his thoughts.]

I’ve been to a couple of hardware stores now and I think it’s time to swallow my pride and just ask. You folks wouldn’t happen to make Assaultron circuit boards yet, would you? Anything with titanium wiring and rad-guard circuits would work, though. My last diagnostics didn't look so good and I'd rather fix it before it gets too out-of-hand.

I’m starting to get the suspicion I’m out of luck on that one.

While I’m on the subject, though, anybody know a good mechanic? I’m not half bad myself, but I could probably use a primer on all this old tech. Don’t want to end up turning into a toaster or anything.

Give me a ring if you’ve got anything for me. Thanks, and... hm. I'd better come up with a catchy sign-off, pretty quick here.

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