maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: APRIL 20TH, 2017
WAKEY WAKEY,
FOR HEAVENS SAKEY!

GOTT JUSTICE?
As seen televised on local and national news:
April 30th
Import Dr. Hermann Gottlieb-Geiszler was taken into custody late on April 23rd on charges of willful breach of government security. Details are classified, but it's a blow for the small, yet devout following of fans shocked by the news and arguing on behalf of the newly married doctor. But not only has Dr. Gottlieb pled guilty during his trial, he's offered no defense and shown little remorse for his alleged actions. Whether he's unaware of or simply disinterested in his staunchest fans is unclear.

Deemed guilty by the courts, Dr. Gottlieb is facing a two month sentence in medium-security prison, with the possibility of an early probational release on review. Officials say the De Chima-based imPort has been cooperative, but has threatened legal action against the local police department, citing violations of the ADA and criticizing the lack of official guidelines for the detainment of physically impaired suspects. So far, only a formal complaint has been filed.

"It could have been worse," Officer Reiman says. "We didn't expect to find [the suspect]. His file lists a teleportation ability and could have prompted an international manhunt. He'd had plenty of warning too-- had to get the cruiser buzzed in. Almost seems like he wanted to be arrested."

Meanwhile, imPort critics say that Dr. Gottlieb only let himself be arrested because of the unfair sentencing policies that favor cases like his. Typically, cyber crime has resulted in 2-5 year sentences for the non-imPort population. But whatever his motivations, there's no way to know for sure.

Dr. Gottlieb's evaluation is expected to take place on May 24th. His husband, Dr. Newton Gottlieb-Geiszler, could not be reached for comment.

BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE
As seen in HOT HOT BEAT, TMI Magazine, IMPORTED GOSSIP, and national news:
Fans of the hot yoga show "BODY HEAT!" were shocked this past week to discover the show's popular imPort host, Mick Rory, was arrested for arson. Rory admitted to setting his government-assigned house in Heropa on fire on the 13th of April, just before the holiday weekend. Rory has been sentenced to two months parole and community service, but has not given any public explanation for his actions.

Speculation is running rampant, with many pointing out that Rory had been known to offer his services to various Fire Departments in the Porter Cities, and had only just a few weeks ago had run a charity drive for the Heropa General's burn ward. Some have called attention to his little-used but widely known alternate alias "Heat Wave", and a rumoured criminal past. Fans online are split between those expressing outrage and those arguing it was a simple mistake.

As for BODY HEAT!, the producers made a public statement that they are reviewing his contract for breach of its Moral Clauses, and have since officially retired Rory from the show.

A BET-TER WORLD
As seen in local Maurtia Falls advertisements:
All bets are ON! WHO will be the next imPort arrested for criminal activity? The handsome Sam Merlotte? The incredibly loud Count Dooku? The beautiful Bela Talbot? The coquettish Yuri Plisetsky? Rope in your financial manager and/or gambling broker and put down a name, you could win it big if fate favors your delinquent pick.

(Smart money is on imPorts who are often seen wearing black).

YOU KNOW NOTHING, SPRING SNOW
As seen on the Maurtia Falls weather channel:
Bad news for people who were enjoying the spring weather. An extreme cold front is sweeping the east coast this weekend, producing blizzard like conditions for the state of Pennsylvania. You can expect to see snowfalls of up to two feet with wind gusts of up to 45 MPH. Folks of Maurtia Falls should brace for impact on April 21st. Wind gusts and heavy snow could cause localized power outages and downed trees. The department of transportation has announced that they are armed and ready with plows to clear the roads, and travel should not be adversely affected for long, but advises that drivers stay off the road if it can be avoided.

Just when you thought you were in the clear, it seems that Winter Is Coming back again.

THE DOOK OF HAZARD
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
The newest episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features The Doctor as a special guest star, interviewed by the Count for his take on recent dangerous incidents like the attack by armies of historical mirages that ruined the last weekend of March, and the blight of apple crops rumoured to have been caused by failed biogenetic testing.

The Doctor’s interview mostly involves a lot of rambling about the timeline, attempts to explain temporal paradoxes to the casual listener, and a little bit of grumping at the government for not letting people look at the Porter. Dooku has to get him back on track multiple times but, all in all, it’s a good interview. The most important thing is that the Doctor surmises that some of the problems, such as the historical mirage attack, might be caused by a temporal malfunction in the Porter. After all, the Porter is an impressive machine but it’s just a MACHINE. It’s entirely possible the Porter can’t juggle all these timelines and accidentally slipped up somewhere.

The Count closes this month’s episode by encouraging any listeners who are concerned about political issues to speak out by contacting the imPort community’s elected representatives with any questions or complaints. To this end, he has helpfully shared the following public contact information:

Lord Petyr Baelish, imPort Ambassador for Maurtia Falls
Queen Lucy Pevensie, imPort Ambassador for De Chima
Miles Naismith Vorkosigan, imPort Ambassador for Nonah
United States Senator Mitchell Hundred of Virginia

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from OF THE HEART to INDIGO-GO because nothing shakes off the sleepies like an impromptu dance party.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
goawayhumans: (a shot that was probably in a trailer)
[personal profile] goawayhumans
First of all, I hate to say this but Calendar Man's ported out. He didn't show up for work, so I did a bit of prowling around [ aka breaking and entering ] and he's not asleep either.

[ But that involves dealing with feelings and acknowledging friends leave and while the Doctor's trying his hardest to get better at that, he still has some issues. Let's not deal with feelings by talking about things instead. There's a chalkboard behind the Doctor and he writes out what he's saying as he talks through his theory. ]

Speaking of the sleeping thing, a proposition: I think I know who caused this.

A SUMMATION BEHIND THE CUT TEXT FOR THIS IS WORDY AND Y'ALLS FRIENDS LISTS NEED TO BE SPARED )

Tl dr! [ And yes, he said out the letters 't', 'l', 'd', and 'r' like a goddamn grandpa who just learned to text-speak ] Point one, very powerful with powers that are good for mucking with your head. Point two, the Russian occupation. Point three, a repeat offender. Point four, Billy Kalpan. Put them all together and that reveals our culprit to be.....

[ cue a very anticlimactic shrug. ]

Somebody! I know who it is, I just don't know the name. There's a lot of us, after all, I don't know every imPort. Give me some names, let's figure this nonsense out, we've got people's boyfriends to wake up! [ There's a pause, before, ]

Also, it's not Crane. Or Julian, obviously, what with the whole being Ported out thing. We can cross those two off the list. Likewise, if you can help me piece together how fire birds work into this, I'd appreciate it. The little bird was a bit vague on that part.
wizzardly: (The flaw in the argument)
[personal profile] wizzardly
[Happy Ides, everyone. To celebrate, here's a pale, shaken wizzard on your screen, standing in some nondescript Maurtia Falls allet. If the pallor of his skin makes him look a person who may be ill, that's probably because he is. Or at least was. Barely thirty seconds ago, violently, behind a trash can.]

Once, just once I'd like to go a month without - without the streets flooding with ghosts, or being in ridiculous brawls in bars with bears, or being kidnapped, or - or -

[Rincewind breaks off with a pained, miserable expression, glancing back over his shoulder. As he does so, the video shifts enough to show a dumpster with its lid open, a bag of trash abandoned outside it. The angle makes it impossible to see inside.]

...There's a body in there. Two, er, halves of one. Someone's, um...

[Rincewind swallows thickly, fighting another wave of nausea.]

I don't think she's an imPort. ...Was. Gods.

Look - someone come deal with this, will you? That's what you heroes are meant to do, right? So one of you needs to bloody well get out here. I'm not - I can't - this isn't my responsibility.

4 [Video]

Mar. 14th, 2017 01:00 am
ret2go: (pic#10928311)
[personal profile] ret2go
[Shantae is lounging back in a chair, surrounded by what seems to be... paperwork? Her very long hair is somehow done up in a braid, which even still comes down to the small of her back. She's got a pen in her hand.]

So... hypothetically, if someone wanted to start a business here, how would they do it? 'Cuz back home in Scuttle Town, it's easy. You just need to buy space for it, or a stall, or whatever, and you need to have something to sell, and boom! You've got a business.

But here you have to fill out... forms. And I don't get this stuff at all.

I want to meet the person who invented paperwork and stuff his head in a fish pond. [A pause.] And then let him out, but that dunk would be reaaaaally satisfying...
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2017
Beware the Ides of March! That day is coming up, and with the sudden imPlosion of guilt and regret, you can't tell what someone under duress is bound to do to you just to clean their own soul.

WHAT IS TREND CANNOT DIE
As seen in high fashion magazines, seen on TMI and imPort! Entertainment:
The world of American fashion has turned its eyes to Florida-based design house, House of De Marq, upon announcing a new design label STORMBORN X MARQ in collaboration with imPort, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen. "We are very excited and honored to be working creatively with Queen Daenerys," was reported in the House of De Marq's official press release this morning. "We shall navigate the liminal spaces of unreality through fashion, and seek inspiration beyond the parameters of the mundane. We shall create a storm of fantasy and fabulousity." Notoriously elusive head designer De Marq, who could not be reached for further comment, has taken to Bwitter, posting blurry images of model fittings, landscapes, and obscure selfies with the hashtags such as #EYEOFTHESTORM, #FASHIONANDBLOOD, #UNBURNTUNTAMED.

The label will contain high end evening wear and jewelry, along with ready-to-wear fashion for professional women, inspired by De Marq's Westerosi muse.

Daenerys, most noted for her social media presence and fashion commentary in imPort entertainment, spoke enthusiastically for the label's future. "There will be a launch announced later this month, I believe, previewing collections to come. Proceeds will go towards Through The Glass, a nonprofit organisation that provides low-income women with professional attire and other career advancement services. Donations towards such a noble endeavour are most welcome."

EAT THE WOO'D
As seen on TMI, THEMport Weekly, and imTV:
Sources are reporting that long-time imPort couple Frederick Chilton and Raina are engaged. Post-Valentine's pictures of Raina reveal her wearing what is definitely a diamond ring. After nearly two years of waiting, fans of the couple can only speculate how truly romantic the proposal was.

"Chilton's had years now to plan it out. I bet he serenaded her with a song written by Rincewind. Because Rincewind's like a bard or something, isn't he? Like, a really sad bard?" One such fan wrote on Bwitter. Others responded that in fact Rincewind was flutist.

And while the fan response to this news was overwhelmingly positive and supportive of the couple, there were a few outcries from disappointed Marchill and Raintess fans. It's no secret the two couples are close, and during the rocky period, Raina was reportedly staying at the Hotel Castile. This led fans to draw their own (often lascivious) conclusions. Both pairings have a small, but highly devoted fanbase.

But no matter which ship you sail, one thing can be certain. Raina has changed her FaceLook status from 'It's Complicated' to 'In a loving relationship.' And we certainly wish Raina and Frederick Chilton all the best. Perhaps we will end 2017 with yet another imPort wedding!

HEARTS AND RECREATION
As seen in entertainment news magazines:
MULTIVERSAL PICTURES' first movie based on imPorts, THE WORLD IS ENOUGH, which revolves around the romantic story of married imPorts April Ludgate and Will Graham, held a stern lead at the box office for the first two weeks of its release. Critics are torn, some reporting it's good popcorn-eating fun, others calling it "too focused on the romance, not enough using super cool powers."

The usage of animals in this film has caused minor controversy as well, surprising no one. FORTY SHADES OF OCHER, the highly anticipated sequel to THIRTY HUES OF BLOOD ORANGE proved the only other movie audiences cared to see enough to knock it down to second. It's now performing in third, just below FUNIONS, the kid's film about Funyuns who function in a minion-like role.
Due to this success, MULTIVERSAL PICTURES has announced they are looking into more imPorts with stories worth putting on screen, and there has been talk of adapting events and imPort tales for the small screen as well. Keep an eye out!

THE RED SETTING
As seen in local news:
It's here, it's there, it's everywhere: "bElish". That's the name you will see scrawled across the roads and sidewalks of Maurtia Falls, spray-painted in vibrant maroon and brick hues. Looks like there's a new vandal in town, and he (or she) is going to paint the town red. Is this an homage to Ambassador Baelish? A challenge? Is there a deeper meaning?

WEATHER OR NOT
As seen on the Weather Channel:
Hold onto your hats, De Chima! On Saturday, March 11th you were be witness to a totally bizarre tornado just outside the city limits. This has literally never happened before in recorded history.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MAROON to GLITTER because Mabel Pines would have wanted it that way.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
pyrogue: (suits are for squares)
[personal profile] pyrogue
[ On screen is a very shirtless Mick wearing nothing but a pair of tight black yoga pants with red stripes down the side with the letters "BODY HEAT" running up one side and a towel around his neck. He's gotten an assistant to hold the comm. He's feeling very cold right now, actually, so he speaks just a bit faster than he normally would to get this over with. ]

Dunno how many of you know who I am, but I'm Mick Rory. I do a workout show called "BODY HEAT!" as a yoga instructor -- [ He smiles wryly in a "yeah, I know" sort of way. ] -- and we're doing something special starting in a coupla days. We want some guest stars to come on board and film a few episodes with me.

No yoga experience required either. Think of it as a free lesson -- that you get paid for. Just make sure to bring water. Gotta keep hydrated 'cause it's gonna get pretty warm. But that ain't so bad in February, right?

[ Mick is fine with it all year round, but he's aware that not everybody's into it. ]

On top of that, it's being tied into a charity drive to raise money for the Heropa General Hospital's Burn Ward. And since September we've gotta whole lot of new folks who have fire-breathing on us, it kinda needs it.

[ And a particular pet cause of Mick's, considering his background. But he's not advertising that part. He smiles again. ]

Any imPort's free to sign up, unless their name is Leonard Snart.

((OOC: This is more of an informal thing but def let me know if your character would get involved and if so if you'd prefer to handwave or log something about it, I'm totally good either way.))

02 | video

Feb. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
lovestoys: (i am perfect)
[personal profile] lovestoys
Yo, whauppppp party people!

[Axel is currently chilling out on his bed in just his undies because that's how he rolls. Truly he's a sight to admire. Or he thinks he is, given he's bare chesting it on the network. He's been working on his chest lately so behold the slow beginnings of muscle definition.

He might be an awful person but at least his undies are cute? Little duckies are totally manly pant-wise. Fight him.]


While I got an audience, I think it's time we all talked shop a little. Cause it's that time of the year for love and making connections so let's. Man to man. And, I guess, man to woman too. Now, I ain't saying I have any trouble in this area but I'm a little curious, just for arguments sake, what kinda techniques do you guys like to pull hot chicks? I'm talking A grade babes.

[Yes, hot chicks. He knows how to score 'below his belt', that's easy! He uses a wonderful mix of gently breaking them down and implying he's the best they can do.

He wants to get model level here. It's what a terrible dumpster goblin like him deserves - a sexy babe.]


That isn't all neither. Cause I'm like a total a feminist so I wanna hear from hot chicks too. Their side of things. [Cause he totally thinks this is a great way to bait them all out. Yes, yes, come to him, hot chicks. Admire how forward thinking and not at all gross and awful he is.] Like how'd you like a guy to romance you? What's your favourite move? How best can I get you horny? You know, the important stuff. Just how firm should a slap on the ass be cause, you know, guys don't know that kind of thing. We rarely get to experience that side of things unless we're like, you know, flaming or something.

[He shrugs his shoulders and leans back, grinning brightly.] Gimme something good and I'll share some of my moves. I got some good ones. I got a move called 'The Piper' that'll blow your mind.

[video]

Jan. 24th, 2017 07:20 am
timecapture: rpicongallery on Tumblr ([Unease] Watching for the truth.)
[personal profile] timecapture
[And here's Max, looking rather tired and frazzled. She hasn't exactly slept, in between helping as many people as she can - out of the way, mostly - and worrying over the escaped convicts. She knows that not all of them have been caught, but she breathes a sigh of relief, nonetheless.]

Well, I'm glad that's over.

[Sort of.]

Anyway, how's everybody holding up? Are you all okay? I think we handled that pretty well.

[She hopes they handled that pretty well.]

I plan on keeping an eye out for the rest of the prisoners. Just when we thought things were calming down, right?
pushtheboundaries: (choose your words so slowly)
[personal profile] pushtheboundaries
This is Robert Callaghan. Looks like we've still got some work to do, but I've been working with others to get the School outside of Heropa set up as a base of operations- if you need another place to evacuate people to, we've got working power and plenty of room. It looks like the local community centers already have set up as refugee stations, but I'm not turning anyone away so long as they don't cause trouble. Plenty of that, already.

[He clears his throat and raises his voice back to normal volume]

I'll be staying here for the duration, but let me know what I can do to help otherwise.


((OOC: Log here, apologies for the delay. Feel free to touch base with me on plurk via [plurk.com profile] artoni or via DW PM if you want to handwave/thread your characters having helped with things/etc!))

[ video ]

Jan. 11th, 2017 01:48 am
hostage: (smiling ☣)
[personal profile] hostage
[Videoblogging fresh and early in the morning with this serene backdrop, Jesse looks clean and put-together in a way that suggests he's been fussed over by stylists for at least an hour and probably just came straight from a photo session. Which he has. But the network gets a more casual, less Media-Friendly Jesse Pinkman overall, as he gives the camera a little wave and gets right to it:]

So... Oh yeah, hi, all you new guys. I'm Jesse, in case you didn't know that. Been here a, uh, long time now. Three years? So, you know, hit me with questions and I probably got a few answers.

[He claps his hands. Moving on.]

Anyway, I started a business. Something I been working on since summer, actually. 'cause volunteering at hospitals and all, it's great and I'm still gonna take some time and do that, but like they say: When you're good at something, don't just do it for free. So check this out:

[And he pops over a link to a website.]

And, look, before you say anything: No, I didn't name it or design it or anything. Way smarter people than me did all that. I'm just the guy with the superpowers who gets to look pretty in the ads. Don't ask me if I do yoga. I seriously don't do yoga.

Where was I going with this? Uh, right, we're hiring people. Healers are the best, but if you got any kinda powers you think might be useful around a luxury health resort, come at me. I'll find a place for you. This business is about showing the world what kinda good us imPorts can do and making a shitload of money while we're doing it. So everybody wins, really.

Awesome. Okay. Happy New Year.

003 Text

Jan. 3rd, 2017 11:42 am
thevictoriandetective: (Default)
[personal profile] thevictoriandetective
What do you do when you make a mistake and anger someone close to you? How do you make it right? Besides saying 'I'm sorry,' of course.

[Video]

Dec. 30th, 2016 09:39 am
sleight_of_hand: (Derpy drunk!)
[personal profile] sleight_of_hand
[ Hello, imPorts! Guess who's drunk! Guess who's drunk and forgot how the private function worked? Or just forgot about it entirely... or was too drunk and excited after actually winning at something to process how communicators are supposed to work. Either way, the entire public network gets treated to this embarrassing display. ]

Har~ley~chaaaaan~!

[ Has it been mentioned he's really drunk yet? ]

Guess who got a trip to Vegas!

[ He flashes the biggest, dumbest, drunkest grin at the screen. ]

Wanna come with me? From what I've read it'll be kinda like going to the Takarazuka~!

[ ...yeah, he had no idea what Vegas was at first and had to look it up. ]
anxiogenic: (Skeptical [AU])
[personal profile] anxiogenic
This is a world where nobody can be certain what is real. Tabloid scandal and tittle-tattle surround our mad lives. Journalists take shots at clearing the superstition enveloping those who choose to wear a mask, and like most they do it for the money, selfishly exposing the names of heroes and villains alike.

[His right hand hoists up a headline, framed at the bottom with his left palm. The accompanying photograph is of a blonde propping up a bar, split with a shot of her professionally dressed in a skirt and doctor's jacket. Hair up, round glasses. A girl so neat you can take her home to meet the family.]

Party Girl Harley Quinn Goes Profesh: Can It Last?

What trenchant contempt. Such grubby hands, tearing off flesh to show the bones beneath! Masks contain a definite meaning, an intellectual formula, are expressions of human feeling for the surrounding world. They are creations of the human mind and, as such, deserve respect. No matter whether they're an identity behind which one reconstructs their self or a shield that protects loved ones.

We understand how dangerous they can be. Do they think they can hide before facing the consequences of this drivel?

[Blech! He lays down the page.]

Guess it all boils down to one question for me, anyway. One more important than Harleen Quinzel's metamorphosis.

[He refuses to call her a doctor.]

What's Batman's deal?

video;

Nov. 21st, 2016 06:55 pm
wizzardly: I think it's called being human or something. (Been completely at a loss my whole life)
[personal profile] wizzardly
Right, so it's been brought to my attention that those bloody awful reports have been floating certain rumors around about me, and I'd rather just end those before they even get going all right?

[because even Rincewind's starved sense of self-respect has to draw the line at people thinking he fancies dishware.]

So, to be clear: I'm pansexual.

[which is an admittedly backwards linguistic for declaring one's lack of attraction to tea cups and related sundry, but there's just no accounting for etymological taste.]

There? [he arches a pointed brow.] Shall I assume that just about does it? All questions answered? Jolly good.

[honestly, the people in this place really will believe anything, won't they? Lucky that Snart fellow pointed this out when he did - things really could have gotten out of hand.]
anxiogenic: (Disgust)
[personal profile] anxiogenic
My "therapist" implied I do not seek meaningful connection and so here is a meaningful survey:

[He eyeballs the camera and barely constrains the frown eating at the bottom corner of his lip. He's sitting straight in an armchair in a vintage room. Anyone getting a good look at him might notice he's too old. Unable to hide his true face, but it doesn't matter.]

Are our lives worlds of actions and reactions, behaviours and reinforcements?

Do we live without freedom or meaning?

Is existence defined through external activity?

Are human personalities nothing but the sum of human behavioral patterns?

[His gaze wanders in the ceiling.]

Or, for the modern generation; what is personality? [¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the education system.] Let's hear you pose entirely different models of what a human being is, and then argue from there.
maskormods: (⒎)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 20TH, 2016

AMAZING DISGRACE
As seen in all major newspapers, Business iNsider, the Wall Street Diary, and other financial newspapers:
A small but particularly scummy debt-collection agency was just purchased by what is obviously a fake shell company called Vialux. What's surprising and newsworthy about this is that the debt-collection agency was immediately shut down and all the debt forgiven. This is something of a happy ending - except, of course, where the scummy ex-owners of the debt collection companies got richer as a result.

COURT-SHIP
As seen on national television and major newspapers:
The lawsuit against Ronald Chump over copyright infringement on behalf of Daryl Dixon in regards to the Weeta-Dixon cereal of Chumps' imPort Cereal line, has been settled out of court this month. The settlement is reported to be half a million dollars accompanied by a cease and desist order on the production of the cereal.

A BIGLY RAGEQUIT
As seen on national television and TMI:
In response to Dixon's successful lawsuit, Ronald Chump has disavowed the "rigged judicial system" of the United States. Taking his remaining millions, probably not billions, he has sworn off social media and left this county for another. It is likely, if granted citizenship elsewhere, that he will then forgo his US citizenship permanently. Do not expect to see The Ronald around these parts.

((This wraps up the Chump arc, he will not be playable as an NPC henceforth!))

TWO OF A COIN'D
As seen in newspapers, fashionable magazines, and Rumblr posts:
On November 18, the citizens of Heropa and denizens of anywhere on the internet that posts memes and amusing pictures were treated to an unusual sight when they discovered that the World's Biggest Coin had been mysteriously transported from its home in the middle of nowhere, Pennsylvania, right to the heart of the city. Even more mysteriously: the coin had vanished the next day, only to be discovered right back where it came from. While conspiracy theories and wild mass guessing were just getting into full swing, one man stepped forward to claim sole responsibility, only to be greeted by a resounding: What.

Leonard Snart, self-proclaimed robber of ATMs, career criminal and (sort of) living legend, said that he has pulled the prank off without any accomplices, a feat that is especially puzzling since he has revealed that the only power he has is the power of puns. When asked why he did it, Snart said that he "just wanted some change", and explained the need to "coin a phrase". Given that authorities can neither figure out how any of this happened nor what kind of crime to classify temporary misplacement of a single coin - whatever the size - he has been released without any charges.

Since then he has been further questioned - mostly by the internet - and when asked how he pulled this off he cited "girl power" and also mentioned that it had been "super easy". Finally he made at least one concession, hinting that he might not have been entirely without help: "I may or may not have had the help of illegal aliens."

THE XOXO FILES
As seen on Deddit and 4tinbras:
Conspiracy theorist Ludwig Da Vinci has a very special message to his ardent followers:

CHEMTRAILS! The Fed has been stuffing them in your sky for YEARS! Chemtrails are hazardous to us natives, deadly brainwashing crap that's been treated with nuclear reaction. You know where the ashes of the first imPorts go? Do you know what the government has done to the bodies? CHEMTRAILS. Just like with Tony Stark's manhandling of our DNA, the government wants us to be experiments in a petri dish. We're being tested on! Washington is not on your side, citizens.

Watch for the technological blackouts to come. First sign of the new, imPorted apocalypse.

And keep your eyes on the skies.
xoxo


A NIGHT TO REMEOWMBER
As seen on the tabloid circuit, TMI, and WHEE! News:
Director Ben Trooper, acclaimed director of Less Miserable and The Monarch's Monologue is hosting a red carpet gala for his new film Felines! Felines is the tale of...well, felines, as they all show off their talents to see who ascends to cat heaven, aka the Upperside Balcony. The show's best known for being highly choreographed, not having much plot, and the character of Haggarina, the Hollywood Cat, who sings the hit song "Remembering." Because Felines features imPort Mint Aizawa, Trooper's decided to host the film's December 2nd premiere in Heropa, opening it up for all imPorts to attend. Wear nice dresses! Mingle with celebrities! Sit through a two and a half hour long movie musical about singing and dancing cats! What's not to love?

There's also a trailer for the film that doesn't really tell you anything about the plot. But cartwheels! Dancing! People in lots of make-up! See if you can spot Mint in the coveted role of "that all-white cat who's in the chorus but gets a ballet solo."

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from VIOLET DRIZZLE to FADED CHEETO ORANGE because this country is now one chump short.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2016

A MAYA-NOVEMBER ROMANCE
As seen in local newspaper, magazine, and radio ads in the Nonah area:
Knights, Knaves, and Knives will take advantage of those sweet, sweet imPort fandom dollars (and their imPort employee's connection to other imPorts) and do a specially themed show/crossover with the Pink Princess TV show, running from November 14th to the 23rd!

In the TV show's plotline, Maya has traveled back in time to seal some past ghosties, and in the restaurant show she's transported herself to King Arthur's court to get some magical backup. Maya enters a tournament by mistake (as you do), and finds herself going against Morgan la Fey and her champion, Mordred (who, for the sake of being more kid friendly, is now a spooky ghost in spooky armor instead of Arthur and Morgan's bastard). If Maya wins the tournament, she'll win a magical artifact to help her on her journey and save Camelot. If Mordred wins, Morgan gains the power to destroy King Arthur and Camelot for good. Oh no! The results are determined by audience participation and cheering, and both endings are written with the potential for all characters to come back from their untimely defeat.

THE DIXON CHICKS
As seen on TMI's First Scoop TV segment, website, and magazine article:
Could winter's chill be bringing new couples together? For Daryl Dixon and Mako Mori, all signs point to yes. Daryl appears to have hired Mako as his new manager following several trade show appearances, so this may not seem surprising, but the two have also been spotted spending a lot of time together on the streets of De Chima and Nonah. And acting particularly unbusiness-like.

They were first spotted together last month in Maurtia Falls when Daryl was seen carrying a dazed Mako into a diner near the city's Porter. Fans of Daryl reported they'd seen the two leave the 'Haunted Alley' that stirred up so much imPort interest. No one's sure what happened in there, but whatever it was, it looks like a spark was lit when he acted the part of knight in shining armor. Both have denied any romantic involvement, claiming to be 'just friends', but recent pictures of the two show that they can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Guess we know who'll be cozying up in front of the fire this holiday season!

(A smattering of candid photos of the two, Mako's hand often resting against Daryl's arm or Daryl's hand at the small of Mako's back, accompany the segment.)

META-TEXTUAL IMPLICATION
As seen on local news outlets:
A three-month-old missing persons case was unexpectedly solved when Alice Whitman, 14, was dropped off at her parent's house at four in the morning and an ambulance called by an unknown tipster. Early questioning of Alice about her experience by authorities paint a horrific picture of being held captive in an unknown building. Police responded to questions about how she was found with the statement that Alice wasn't in an emotional state to give specifics, but that she kept repeating an 'angel' saved her and 'flew' her home. Given the propensity of flight powered citizens, imPort involvement is suspected, but it could also be a member of our new Metahuman community. However, no one has come forward to claim credit for the rescue. When asked about the fate of her abductor, Police said that they were already in the process of investigating suspects and seizing evidence.

PORTER POSSE MOUTH
As seen in tabloids and The Evening Sun:
Where are they now? A local rag called imPortant! promises to answer this question and more concerning America's latest craze: metahumans! This five page spread gives up the good on the who, what, and where like no one has tackled before! Read interviews from local metahumans in your very own community! Check out the website for video interviews and all the photos imPortant couldn't fit in its pages.

Let's take a look at just one example of this tantalizing coverage!

"We tracked down one man who has been a regular defendant of imPort rights and their importance within America for several years under the alias PorterPosse. Now, he truly feels part of their struggle after the life-changing effects many natives have experienced. This man may not know what the future holds, but he seems confident. 'The world is changing for them. America will be a place for imPorts! It's going to real soon. I guarantee it!' "

Sounds confident, doesn't he?

YOU THINK YOU'VE SEN-ATE ALL!
As seen on Politica and The Beltway Press:
A curious story made the rounds this week, regarding the upcoming Senate election in Virginia. A race that’s been looking tighter and tighter by the week was starting to promote some terse relations between fans of both candidates. However, there was a moment of levity, on a local comedy show, when both candidates Hundred and Stankavich were invited onto the Comedy Hour earlier this week. On the same show.

While tensions arose between the candidates on many points -- most that had to do with economic policy, imports, and international relations -- both spoke at length about their positions, but the most memetic moment of the entire interview was when the host, Danny Talon, provided each with a cream pie, and the candidates smushed the pies into each other’s faces -- before the host proclaimed them the “Re-pie-blican” and “Demo-cream” candidates. All while the audience recited pi.

Pictures of the candidates have been plastered online, and in good fun, both have left the images of their pie-covered faces remain part of the Bwitter profile pictures.

APP-LE OF HIS MOTHER'S EYE
As seen on the national news stations, major headline papers, and public radio:
Maurtia Falls Police Department are on high alert and asking for public assistance in their search for Michael "Mika" Covington. Covington was one of the citizens affected by imPort Tony Stark's "4" app, a no longer downloadable nor legal mobile app that activated a complex virus local citizens had been infected with back in early fall, granting them superpowers. Covington is 5 feet and 10 inches, of average build, has short brown hair and blue eyes. Friends and family say he can be often seen wearing his favourite red hoodie and he has a mole on his chin. Covington gained the ability of flight; something, his family says, he was keen on mastering.

He was last seen in Maurtia Falls at approximately 10:28 PM on October 28th, only three blocks away from where he lived. He was seen at a 24 hour convenience store picking up snacks, however his shopping bag was found in the alleyway behind the store.

His family is begging anyone with any information on his whereabouts to speak up to the police. An inside source says police are also under much pressure from the government to locate Covington due to his status as a meta. They are also cautioning other metas, imPorts included, to stay vigilant when they are by themselves, especially in the night.

WE'RE ALL MADE HERE
As seen on TMI, Rumblr content, Maurtia Falls tabloids:
The first of November sparkled with the celebration of a new psychiatric hospital opening in Maurtia Falls! Doctor Frederick Chilton, newly-minted Head Administrator of the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital for the ImPorted and Empowered, was the guest of honor among a celebrity list of scintillating imPorts and personalities. Reported among that number was aging heartthrob Jeff Winger and the stunning Raina. Fan-favorites like hotel magnate James Patrick March, underground rock star Persephone, the newly married Dorian Gray, and the lovely Bela Talbot. For a full list of the glamorous guests, check out the TMI STAR GAZING! You can alpha-bet that these A-listers have gossip going on.

The event was organized by Rincewind, reported to be Doctor Chilton's closest platonic companion. Dispute on that claim is welcomed in the comments on TMI's linked site! The choice of venue, Ambassador Petyr Baelish's Iron Throne, inspired some raised eyebrows. TMI hopes to follow-up with Ambassador Baelish on his extracurricular activities and growing influence.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from to MODERATELY SKEPTICAL PINK to VIOLET DRIZZLE because PURPLE RAIN was too expensive and the government is hitting a fiscal budget tightening.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

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