maskormods: (⒉)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017
Native sentiment centralized in the east coast has been growing for a governmental response to the recent imPort-centric chaos. The government, ever protective of imPorts, has been reluctant to set down any new regulations -- but constituents have been calling their congresspeople.

HE KANGED, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED
As seen on BlueTube (via cellphone footage), Bwitter, Rumblr, and Heropean local news:
Some of the clone mayhem has been put to a stop in an explosive manner, thanks to the draconian imPort Kang. The amateur footage shows him cornering his own clone in an alley several blocks from a restaurant favored by locals. Kang is heard shouting for others to back away before shooting energy darts out of his hand, killing the double troublemaker on the spot. The body then reduces to bones and explodes as if they were made of dynamite, much to the surprise of the onlookers. No others were hurt, and there was minimal damage to nearby property.

According to Kang, before the video ends, this is completely normal for his race.

There had been reports of this clone starting fights in several bars and espousing imPort and non-human superiority. He has also been linked to three local deaths. No official statements have been made by the police as of yet.

AIN'T NO SNOWFLAKE
As seen in national newspapers and De Chima televised channels:
A new shelter is being opened by former ambassador candidate Jon Snow. While De Chima has a number of shelters in use, Lord Snow has promised that his will not only be located outside of the city, but will provide housing not only for the homeless, but for the imPorts currently without support and between jobs. He's stated in recent interviews that the shelter will provide assistance in finding more permanent housing and jobs, as well as teaching the residents of the shelter valuable tools to help them in various careers. Donations and supplies are requested, delivered to Snow's office between the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

"We are in this together," Snow has told reporters. "We need to band together, all of us. It's the only way our city will thrive."

ABSOLUTELY SIMFUL
As seen on BlueTube play-by videos, local Heropa news, Rumblr, and in internet ads:
There's a new mobile app that has been causing something of a stir amongst natives. Launched just this week, HEART KAPOW WOW is an app that enables natives to embrace the ImPort experience... via dating sim. The game is available to anyone interested for a small fee, but the most interesting thing is that some of the dating options might seem a little familiar. Players have the option to go with a number of dating routes, and live either a heroic or villainous life. More information on the game and uncanny dating options is available here!

SELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
As seen in entertainment magazines and the official TMI blogosphere:
Reality stars Noah Czerny (of "True Afterlife") and Ronan Lynch (one half of the duo from ETV's "fuckups & tryhards") have taken to BlueTube in a series of videos depicting the boys performing tricks and stunts with novelty toys in the shape of male genitalia. As of this report, the videos have over one million views. Whether the viral performance is a spontaneous act by the boys or a calculated move on the part of UCCY INC Network in an attempt to merge its popular teen imPort franchises remains a point of debate on entertainment news sites and forums. Both boys, who are roommates and make cameo appearances on their respective programs, have a large following on Imstagram and recently toured London as guests of the British government in celebration of a new trade deal between the US and UK.

THELMA AND OH GEEZ
As seen on Rumblr discourse, in Bwitter threads, and watched on on TMI Tonight:
SPOTTED: Daenerys Targaryen giving a statement to police called to the site of her recent fender-bender. Her passenger at the time of the accident was friend and sometime collaborator Gwen Wynne-York, to whom she was overheard remarking, "I think we won that".

Ms Wynne-York could not be reached for comment but was reportedly struggling to contain her laughter.

Ms Targaryen is rumored to have settled with the other party.

ROW ROW ROW AND BOATS
As seen on imPort Message boards, Community Interest News Stories, Boating Enthusiasts Newsletters:
A heated argument has broken out among Boater Enthusiasts the last few weeks. It's not quite an all out battle, but races have been tossed around as a possibility. The Prize? Having imPort Riptide sign off as the mascot of whichever club wins! So far no word has come from Riptide himself as to which club he supports, but Heropa's two largest clubs, Pier Pressure and Schooner or Laker have been making some waves. Only time will tell if the riptides will turn in their favor, or if they'll be washed out to sea.

BAEB IN PLOYLAND?
As seen on all Maurtia Falls news channels:
On July 21st, imPort ambassador Petyr Baelish officially announced he would be running for mayor in an interview with the Maurtia Falls Times. The signs had been there for quite a while what with him running regular town hall meetings and drumming up support in the education and business communities, but up until now he had been rather coy when asked about his ambitions. When prompted about whether this would mean he would step down from his ambassadorial position, Baelish responded he had no plans to step down unless he secures the office and he believes he would be fully capable of devoting his time to his fellow imPorts as well as running his campaign.

Current mayor Tony Cardelli seemed unconcerned about Baelish's announcement. "While I can greatly appreciate the works Ambassador Baelish has put into place during the time he's served this city, I think the people of Maurtia Falls will know better than to appoint an imPort in the role of mayor. And that's nothing against his capabilities, but quite simply being an imPort always runs a risk of them spontaneously vanishing or otherwise leaving the city at risk. Look at what happened to our city just this past week because of imPorts. And I could go on record naming numerous times imPorts have been the cause of our city's problems. Because of this, I am confident I will be reelected for a second term." Cardelli told Channel 7 News in a press conference after the clone catastrophe.

Even so, many cars have been spotted around the city with a single mockingbird bumper sticker in solidarity with Petyr Baelish, his town hall meetings have been seeing a dramatic increase of foot traffic, and whether it's the work of the famed guerrilla artist or copycats -- the message "embElish maurtia falls" has been cropping up in gold spray paint all across the city. It's clear that Ambassador Baelish has drummed up quite a bit of support quicker than anyone realized, and it seems as though Cardelli will be forced to take his campaign seriously.

On August 18th at 7:00pm, Mayor Cardelli and Mayor-Hopeful Baelish will be going head to head in their first town hall debate. The citizens of Maurtia Falls are encouraged to come ask questions or air out their grievances.

POKEDISASTER
As seen on BlueTube, Rumblr:
What appears to be the imPorts Blue and Archie, seen here, having a battle of pocket monsters in the middle of London. IN CONSEQUENCE of this intense one-on-one, a large, poisonous sludge-strewn crater was left in their wake. Disaster!

Dragged off by their respective Pokémon, these brawling trainers might have gotten away with it anonymous -- but imPort Niko recorded it and uploaded it onto BlueTube page. What!

TIME TO MANABU UP
As seen in Nonah local papers:
Seen as a kind of goodwill effort by some (or tasteless infiltration by others), imPort Manabu was interviewed by local journalist Jacknard Pulley regarding his induction into the North Carolina Nonah Division Police Academy. Manabu has stated that, to quote, "he's hoping his actions will speak for themselves; he wants to help everyone, imPort and local alike".

The article itself was published in multiple papers, as Pulley is a freelance journalist. A feel-good piece that has been criticized as imPort propaganda by anonymous users on Bwitter has nevertheless found some support within the Nonah community.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COQUELICOT to WENGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
magnitudes: ((☞゚ヮ゚)☞)
[personal profile] magnitudes
( Folks, it’s Sarissa. She’s posting about five am, and the hazy grey early morning light is all she has to work with. There’s hay in her hair. On the bale behind her slumbers a piglet. She’s got another in her lap.

Surprise, she’s in the barn. )


G’day g’day, tuning with an important philosophical question for all you good people of the network. I was gonna ask Saroula, but she locked me outta the house for making shitty jokes, and then I think she fell asleep before remembering to unlock the door.

( Is this the slight madness of not-enough-sleep, or is it regular Sarissa? It’s hard to say. )

So, okay, back to business. If a snail doesn’t have its shell is it…

( She plays a gentle drum roll on the sleepy piglet’s belly, and it makes a sleepy sound, moving to get comfy again. )

a) Naked
b) Homeless
or
c) Minimalist?

Important question, right? Feel free to slug it out as you enlighten me with your gastropodical opinions. And if someone can bring me a clean shirt and some coffee that’d be great. I could be out here a while.
d33tached: (◖Are all a mess tonight◗)
[personal profile] d33tached
Might someone please explain to me the appeal of drinking alcohol?

[Someone didn't have a very good time at the Swear-In ceremony last night - actually, a lot of people didn't have a very good time at the Swear-In ceremony last night, but he'll avoid any talk of angry mobs or giant fire monsters for now. That, he'll probably never make sense of - this, with some help, he just might.]
knaval: (will make them pay)
[personal profile] knaval
Hi! I signed up for the president thing. For a laugh, really. I suppose I should make a speech, though.

[great start.]

Uhh... my name's Riptide! I'm almost four million years old and I've been to tons of planets so I've seen lots of political systems. Most of them don't work very well because people get really obsessive about having money so I think my first call of order will be that if you're a weird rich person, you get sprayed with a hose until you stop being weird!

[he claps his hands.]

Secondly! More non-human stuff! I got forced into a human body! I mean, what?? If there's gonna be non-humans here then we should accommodate them. I think I'm going to encourage all this weird technology to go into the right place. We don't need hovercars, we need more food and more alcohol! Is there even any cyberweed here? That too! That calms people down right quick.

[the one intelligent thought riptide has had about all this is that he can't just focus on himself and that humans are actually the dominant species on the planet.]

Leading on from that, I want that technology to go into medical advances and stuff. Again: are hovercars really necessary?

I'll let you know more as I think of them and I'm for the people, so if you have suggestions then let me know! I've never really liked the idea of one person making all the rules. It's always gotta be a team effort, doesn't it?
the_caped_crusader: (pic#10505002)
[personal profile] the_caped_crusader
[The video opens to the interior of his personal office, towering at the top of Wayne Enterprises headquarters in De Chima. At his desk, Bruce Wayne sits at the foreground of a sprawling cityscape, dressed in one of his many bespoken heather gray suits.]

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises and holder of the Wayne Foundation charitable organization here in De Chima. After nearly a year here, the influences of the Cold War are more apparent to me than they've ever been. Though we stand in a modern age, the unfinished business of the late 1940s survive. The fear of conflict, and division not only of post-war Europe, but here at home.

We live in a difficult and dangerous world, and there are no easy or magical solutions. Both imPort and native citizens alike look around and see social inequality and injustice, but we must seek diplomatic solutions before resorting to warring with each other. And while force must always be an option, it should be be considered a last resort. While we must be relentless in combating against enemies both foreign and domestic, neither of us can bear the burden of fighting it alone. We should all be a part of a united coalition, led and sustained by forces here that have the means to protect themselves.

It wasn't entirely too long ago that I thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, staying together, as a team, we would be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice. Organizations like R.I.S.E. have the right idea, but it's one that needs to be expanded upon. Back home, my world is protected by the Justice League, a strike force comprised of the world's mightiest heroes. Stalwart protectors of life, and a defense against all threats-- terrestrial and extra-terrestrial alike.

Through a group like this, it's my hope that we can relieve the financial burden of emergency management during a crisis, paving a way for the creation of a peace dividend; public money available to cities for other, very necessary purposes like education and health care, and a way to continue the efforts that Ambassadors Pevensie and Senator Hundred have worked so hard to establish. We were told when we first arrived here that we were going to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. I think, up until now, a lot of us feel like that hasn't quite happened yet.

If elected, I hope that you're all ready to change that.
doctopussy: (the daredevil pose tm)
[personal profile] doctopussy
[ The man on screen is wearing a bright white suit and white tie over a black shirt. He's framed the camera angle so his great big metal arms aren't visible, however. He's wearing sunglasses even though it's evening by now. His haircut is questionable. ]

As is often the case, when one wants to live a quiet life it's often interrupted. Since my arrival a few months ago, I've been occupied with the search for scientific progress. But it has become increasingly clear to me that I need to expand not only my scientific boundaries but my personal and political ones. Like it or not, we imPorts have found ourselves thrust into a world where our very existence has become politicized.

But as atoms bond to create something new, so too must we bond together to become stronger. To that end I feel the need to introduce myself.

[ He doesn't, and won't, outright say that this post is a response to Spider-Man making a list of his past and future crimes, but it is. He wasn't going to attempt to clear his name except a certain upcoming election has made him deem it prudent. ]

I am Dr. Otto Octavius.

I believe some of you may know me by a different name -- I understand the amount of alternate universes and timelines can become confusing for even those well-versed in such things.

[ He sighs, the picture of a man tired of having himself confused by an alternate version of himself. ]

Regardless, I am formally offering my scientific expertise if needed. I hope you all deign to give me a chance.

video

Jun. 9th, 2017 08:57 pm
airshow: (I sent an 18 page sext.)
[personal profile] airshow
[ The feed opens inside a bar, the decor of which can best be described as "the circus comes to Florida." There's an inordinate amount of neon signs on the walls, as well as the head of a taxidermied alligator wearing enormous novelty sunglasses. The soft yet somehow ominous clucking of chickens can be heard from somewhere offscreen.

James places a martini glass full to the brim with olives and, it's safe to assume, a small amount of actual martini, on the bar.
]

I call it the Cyclops Orgy. [ stage whisper: ] See, the olives are the eyes?

Now, while I'm obviously fan-gosh-darn-tastic at naming drinks, even a genius has to admit when he could use some fresh ideas. So! You submit your best boozy drink names — recipes optional — and if I use yours, you may win faaabulous prizes, including but not limited to: unlimited whack-a-mole tickets, a set of lawn flamingos that I decorated myself, aaand possibly even the world's cutest pony!

6

Jun. 7th, 2017 09:54 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871607)
[personal profile] ret2go
Soooooo... [Shantae says, fidgeting on the camera. She seems more awkward than usual.]

What the heck sort of worlds do you people come from where they don't have dance halls? Why is it that every time I mention that I used to be a dancer to make money back home, everyone always assumes that I was some kind of stripper?!

My clothes stay on, thank you very much!

--it's just hot where I come from!
catchacold: :) (so cool)
[personal profile] catchacold
[The video opens with a turtle on a skateboard. The turtle has an emblem on its shell, a lightning bolt in a white circle. It looks rather unperturbed by the entire situation.

A slight shuffle can be heard and then the turtle's skateboard gets a push. It starts rolling across the room. The turtle looks as nonplussed as a turtle can look. It's not very.

The skateboard isn't moving all that fast, but for a turtle? Pretty damn fast. The camera moves along with it, only slightly shaky. A hand can be seen stopping the skateboard before it hits the sofa. The same hand shortly thereafter produces a lettuce leaf and puts it down on the skateboard, something that gets more of the turtle's interest than the entire adventure so far.

While the turtle eats, the hand holds up a sign that reads: THE FASTEST TURTLE ALIVE!]




[The camera zooms out a little, showing a sleeping Mick Rory, stretched out on the sofa with a sign propped up against him.]



[Finally the camera turns, revealing the face of the mastermind behind all this, angling the shot so he can be seen sitting on the ground, leaning back against the sofa and petting the turtle's shell.]

This turtle needs a name for its secret identity. I take suggestions!

[He moves to turn the feed off, then thinks better of it.]

Rincewind, tell me if you want your turtle back. Just remember that it has the heard of a hero. [Wait, this is Rincewind he's addressing.] Metaphorically.

Also, Flash? You're on. My money's on the turtle.

Anyone else care to make a bet? Fastest Man Alive or the turtle, tell me your odds.
heckblazer: (need another bloody drink)
[personal profile] heckblazer
[ It's probably not a video he records or posts deliberately, considering his lack of technological competence. But there he is, slouched alone on a pub patio, moping behind a cloud of cigarette smoke. He's well into a bottle of...good Lord, flavoured vodka? Birthday cake, no less?

Well. It's not like lushes can be picky. ]


Huh. Didn't think I'd make it to see another one of these days.

[ He adds his cigarette butt to the mountain on the ashtray in front of him, and lights another, muttering softly between his teeth, ]

Happy fuckin birthday to ya, Johnny.
Useless twit.

✞ video

May. 8th, 2017 11:36 pm
sunlighter: (Default)
[personal profile] sunlighter
[The video screen opens to the Church of the Morningstar, a large, pristine building of white concrete and hard, sharp, modern edges. It's owner, both of the phone in possession and the church in name, stands in front of it wearing a long black overcoat with the collar pulled up on this unseasonably cold day.]

You have no idea how disappointing it is to finally come outside the prison of creation and be surrounded by the ensnarement of worship. And not of anything, but of me most importantly-- something that, I must profess, becomes more tiring by the day. You've all chosen to squander your chance to live by your desires only to build a prison of rules and governing around yourselves. Even here, having left those devices, you've so eagerly baited yourselves again. Let's change that, shall we?

[He waves his hand, and the church in front of him warps and collapses in on itself, a twisting of light that causes its viewers to blink only to be met with an entirely new creation-- a piano bar which reveals itself to intimate prohibition-style decor within. A sexily backlit 1923 Steinway piano ties together a room dotted with small tables perfect for a night of Jazz music and drinks. Lucifer takes a seat and crosses one leg over the other, different looking perhaps than those of the same name imPorts have been familiar with in the past. In fact, he bears a striking resemblance the Thin White Duke.... or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the Thin White Duke resembled him.]

'Lux'... a name I once chose impertinently to create something of my own in the entrapment of His will, seems a little unsuitable now that I've liberated myself of those titles. A new name, I think, would be more appropriate. Perhaps 'Revīvēscere'.

video!

Mar. 12th, 2017 09:55 pm
hellosirs: (... and your very good friend!)
[personal profile] hellosirs
[ Angus has the communicator set to video, but he hasn't realized it yet. Anyone watching this transmission will get a blurry close-up of his chin and bowtie as he fiddles with the weird little device, muttering to himself under his breath. ]

It's like a little scrying crystal... or like if a scrying crystal had a baby with a Stone of Farspeech. Huh.


Oh! It's on, I didn't-- Uh... Hello sirs and/or ma'ams!

[ He holds the communicator out at arm's length, straightens his bowtie and adjusts the collar of his sweatervest - yes, sweatervest, he's dressed like a tiny, old-fashioned nerd - and nods politely at the camera. Gotta be polite! ]

My name is Angus McDonald, and I am the World's Greatest Detective. Um... at least, I am where I'm from. I don't want to be presumptuous and assume that I'm the best one in the entire planar system, that'd be silly, but I'm the best one in my world. And I'm not being braggy, that would be rude, I'm just stating a fact.

Anyway, uh... it's nice to meet everyone, I guess I might be here for a little while. Has anybody heard of 'Haphazardous Home's Nellie Dunn's Detective Novels'? They want me to work there as an intern, and I like mystery novels, but I'd rather help solve real mysteries than help someone write stories about them.

[ How do you sign off on these things? Angus stares at the communicator for a few seconds, uncertain, and then gives a little wave. The arm that he's waving with has a large metal bracer on it that almost reaches his elbow. ]

... Thank you, goodbye!
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2017
The new imPorts have been inspiring fresh fandoms; NEW fanfiction and art can be found FLOODING the internet. Be sure to shield your eyes if finding your person engaged with others in SAUCEY CONTEXT makes you blush!

DUNGEONS AND BRAGGIN' RIGHTS
As seen on THE NERDIERIST, Bwitter, and Rumblr:
The personable RPG tabletop game MAGIC & MAYHEM will create a SPECIAL EDITION that features imPorts as NPCs (players of the game will create their own "imPort" character in gameplay). The parent company WEST COAST BEST COAST will be asking imPorts for their consent for use of their image reimagined to the game's context. No monetary compensation will be paid, but this is a GREAT opportunity for EXPOSURE!

Speculation of which imPorts will be in the game's new edition has already begun on Rumblr.

DESPERATELY SEEKING SEASONS
As seen on the show ImPortainment Tonight!:
ARE YOU AN IMPORT? Do you have your own idea for a reality television show? Would you like to STAR in that show? Casting Call company UCCY INC is taking pitches and audition videos RIGHT NOW. Get it, girl!

VOCAL MOVEMENT
As seen in American entertainment news and social media, particularly music websites and publications:
The world of imPort entertainment received a shakeup this month with the announcement that the heavy metal band COUNTDOWN will be disbanding, effective immediately, due to the sudden departure of its lead signer and frontman Count Dooku.

The Count gave no explanation for his decision to leave the band beyond stating that “I have said all that I wanted to say through this artistic medium. To prolong it for commercial reasons would be crass and inorganic.”

Count Dooku also provided no indication of what his next career move would be, but rumours have linked him to a narrator role on the upcoming NBSea television documentary Secrets of the Sea Lions. Meanwhile, devoted Countdown fans have expressed shock and dismay at the unexpected end of the band, and an online campaign is underway to persuade Count Dooku to reconsider breaking up the band.
When asked for comment on her bandmate’s decision, now-former Countdown bassist Cynthia Sin only swore at the reporter before leaving for an important appointment at the local career counseling office.

THE SUN'LL COME UP... ON WEDNESDAY
As seen on the Weather Channel:
We're in for some intense thunderstorms in De Chima this Monday and Tuesday evening. Lots of bizarre lightning predicted! If you're thinking about having a night on the town, you might want to think again! It isn't going to be pleasant, folks.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GRAY to MAROON. FIVE people voted for this code, that's why.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
pyrogue: (suits are for squares)
[personal profile] pyrogue
[ On screen is a very shirtless Mick wearing nothing but a pair of tight black yoga pants with red stripes down the side with the letters "BODY HEAT" running up one side and a towel around his neck. He's gotten an assistant to hold the comm. He's feeling very cold right now, actually, so he speaks just a bit faster than he normally would to get this over with. ]

Dunno how many of you know who I am, but I'm Mick Rory. I do a workout show called "BODY HEAT!" as a yoga instructor -- [ He smiles wryly in a "yeah, I know" sort of way. ] -- and we're doing something special starting in a coupla days. We want some guest stars to come on board and film a few episodes with me.

No yoga experience required either. Think of it as a free lesson -- that you get paid for. Just make sure to bring water. Gotta keep hydrated 'cause it's gonna get pretty warm. But that ain't so bad in February, right?

[ Mick is fine with it all year round, but he's aware that not everybody's into it. ]

On top of that, it's being tied into a charity drive to raise money for the Heropa General Hospital's Burn Ward. And since September we've gotta whole lot of new folks who have fire-breathing on us, it kinda needs it.

[ And a particular pet cause of Mick's, considering his background. But he's not advertising that part. He smiles again. ]

Any imPort's free to sign up, unless their name is Leonard Snart.

((OOC: This is more of an informal thing but def let me know if your character would get involved and if so if you'd prefer to handwave or log something about it, I'm totally good either way.))

02 | video

Feb. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
lovestoys: (i am perfect)
[personal profile] lovestoys
Yo, whauppppp party people!

[Axel is currently chilling out on his bed in just his undies because that's how he rolls. Truly he's a sight to admire. Or he thinks he is, given he's bare chesting it on the network. He's been working on his chest lately so behold the slow beginnings of muscle definition.

He might be an awful person but at least his undies are cute? Little duckies are totally manly pant-wise. Fight him.]


While I got an audience, I think it's time we all talked shop a little. Cause it's that time of the year for love and making connections so let's. Man to man. And, I guess, man to woman too. Now, I ain't saying I have any trouble in this area but I'm a little curious, just for arguments sake, what kinda techniques do you guys like to pull hot chicks? I'm talking A grade babes.

[Yes, hot chicks. He knows how to score 'below his belt', that's easy! He uses a wonderful mix of gently breaking them down and implying he's the best they can do.

He wants to get model level here. It's what a terrible dumpster goblin like him deserves - a sexy babe.]


That isn't all neither. Cause I'm like a total a feminist so I wanna hear from hot chicks too. Their side of things. [Cause he totally thinks this is a great way to bait them all out. Yes, yes, come to him, hot chicks. Admire how forward thinking and not at all gross and awful he is.] Like how'd you like a guy to romance you? What's your favourite move? How best can I get you horny? You know, the important stuff. Just how firm should a slap on the ass be cause, you know, guys don't know that kind of thing. We rarely get to experience that side of things unless we're like, you know, flaming or something.

[He shrugs his shoulders and leans back, grinning brightly.] Gimme something good and I'll share some of my moves. I got some good ones. I got a move called 'The Piper' that'll blow your mind.

( text )

Feb. 10th, 2017 02:55 pm
quickasever: (094)
[personal profile] quickasever
[ Miraculously, Wally had managed to keep a relatively low profile since he had arrived in this strange world the other day. But with it looking more and more like his stay was going to be a potentially lengthy one, he decided it was finally time to address the network. ]

this is some world they have here. it wouldnt exactly be my first choice for where id want to spend an indefinite vacation, but i have been to worse parallel universes and dimensions before. though i could have done without the freaky tattoo and the creepy file. i also dont think im really qualified to be a time management consultant even if i do appreciate the humor behind it.

anyway, i was wondering if anyone could help a new guy out? like, is there any sights i need to see? any hip places i need to check out? anywhere i need to avoid at all costs? and, more importantly, who makes the best burger and iced mocha around here? if im going to be stuck in this world, then i might as well get the full experience.

also, i dont suppose anyone knows what a green lantern is? they are a pretty big deal where im from.

whatever help i could get would be great. thanks.

video 🌟

Feb. 9th, 2017 06:10 pm
shittywizard: (Default)
[personal profile] shittywizard
[ A very fashionably dressed, green-skinned elf wearing a dapper, pointy hat over his long blond hair peers over the tops of some neon pink sunglasses to look into the camera. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem all that concerned with how this handheld technological wonder is able to broadcast him live, despite clearly being some sort of fantasy wizard. ]

So, this place is fucking bonkers, huh? One minute, I'm minding my own business, polishing the handle of my Umbra Staff and pretending to listen while some asshole tells me about his fish, and the next thing I know, I'm in some crazy bullshit world with floating battle wagons and way more elevators than could ever possibly be necessary.

On the bright side, I guess I'm a makeup artist now? Which sounds pretty sweet, I guess. Making people nicer to look at and not running all over the world to track down stupid-powerful weapons of mass destruction and almost getting killed every other Thursday? Sign me up! I needed a vacation, anyway.

But here's a really important question for all you listeners out there: who's gonna point Taako in the direction of the nearest day spa? Cha boy's had a hell of a day, and my pocket spa just ain't cutting it.

video;

Feb. 7th, 2017 07:53 pm
marriedmedium: (feather hat)
[personal profile] marriedmedium
[For those who know her, Sadie's natural sparkle is slightly dimmer as she appears on the network today, just a touch. For those who don't, it might well go unnoticed, as her smile is as broad as ever.]

Hello, darlings. For those of you who watch my show—and I'm sure it's many of you, as you all have such excellent taste—my producers have decided to do a special edition to celebrate Valentine's Day, celebrating the wonderful thing called love and ways we celebrate it through time and distance!

[Just for a moment, Sadie glances down to her wedding ring.]

Now, thanks to my vast experience speaking to ghosts, I have the time covered, but what about distance? I can't think of any distance greater than different worlds, so tell me, how do my dear fellow imPorts celebrate love?

text;

Feb. 5th, 2017 05:04 pm
picksthenames: (are you sure about this?)
[personal profile] picksthenames
at the risk of being That Guy, i gotta ask: whats the deal with the job assignments for new imports? are they all jokes or is the universe just messing with me?

either way, im definitely in the market for something better. the government wasnt helpful enough to kidnap me with a resume or references on hand, so i guess youll just have to take my word for it, but here goes:

names Cisco Ramon, techspert extraordinaire. masters in engineering, second best coder on my earth. app writer, gear inventor, whatever you need. i can weld, i can solder, i can sew (leather, which let me tell you, is a bitch to work with). new to this earth so help a brother out and tell me where to look, or just offer me a job, thatd be great either way. shacked up in heropa but commutings easy with these porter things right?

so yeah. call me. been a while since i had to look for a new job, but im pretty sure my interview game is still on point.

LLAP. 🖖

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