video!

Mar. 12th, 2017 09:55 pm
hellosirs: (... and your very good friend!)
[personal profile] hellosirs
[ Angus has the communicator set to video, but he hasn't realized it yet. Anyone watching this transmission will get a blurry close-up of his chin and bowtie as he fiddles with the weird little device, muttering to himself under his breath. ]

It's like a little scrying crystal... or like if a scrying crystal had a baby with a Stone of Farspeech. Huh.


Oh! It's on, I didn't-- Uh... Hello sirs and/or ma'ams!

[ He holds the communicator out at arm's length, straightens his bowtie and adjusts the collar of his sweatervest - yes, sweatervest, he's dressed like a tiny, old-fashioned nerd - and nods politely at the camera. Gotta be polite! ]

My name is Angus McDonald, and I am the World's Greatest Detective. Um... at least, I am where I'm from. I don't want to be presumptuous and assume that I'm the best one in the entire planar system, that'd be silly, but I'm the best one in my world. And I'm not being braggy, that would be rude, I'm just stating a fact.

Anyway, uh... it's nice to meet everyone, I guess I might be here for a little while. Has anybody heard of 'Haphazardous Home's Nellie Dunn's Detective Novels'? They want me to work there as an intern, and I like mystery novels, but I'd rather help solve real mysteries than help someone write stories about them.

[ How do you sign off on these things? Angus stares at the communicator for a few seconds, uncertain, and then gives a little wave. The arm that he's waving with has a large metal bracer on it that almost reaches his elbow. ]

... Thank you, goodbye!
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2017
The new imPorts have been inspiring fresh fandoms; NEW fanfiction and art can be found FLOODING the internet. Be sure to shield your eyes if finding your person engaged with others in SAUCEY CONTEXT makes you blush!

DUNGEONS AND BRAGGIN' RIGHTS
As seen on THE NERDIERIST, Bwitter, and Rumblr:
The personable RPG tabletop game MAGIC & MAYHEM will create a SPECIAL EDITION that features imPorts as NPCs (players of the game will create their own "imPort" character in gameplay). The parent company WEST COAST BEST COAST will be asking imPorts for their consent for use of their image reimagined to the game's context. No monetary compensation will be paid, but this is a GREAT opportunity for EXPOSURE!

Speculation of which imPorts will be in the game's new edition has already begun on Rumblr.

DESPERATELY SEEKING SEASONS
As seen on the show ImPortainment Tonight!:
ARE YOU AN IMPORT? Do you have your own idea for a reality television show? Would you like to STAR in that show? Casting Call company UCCY INC is taking pitches and audition videos RIGHT NOW. Get it, girl!

VOCAL MOVEMENT
As seen in American entertainment news and social media, particularly music websites and publications:
The world of imPort entertainment received a shakeup this month with the announcement that the heavy metal band COUNTDOWN will be disbanding, effective immediately, due to the sudden departure of its lead signer and frontman Count Dooku.

The Count gave no explanation for his decision to leave the band beyond stating that “I have said all that I wanted to say through this artistic medium. To prolong it for commercial reasons would be crass and inorganic.”

Count Dooku also provided no indication of what his next career move would be, but rumours have linked him to a narrator role on the upcoming NBSea television documentary Secrets of the Sea Lions. Meanwhile, devoted Countdown fans have expressed shock and dismay at the unexpected end of the band, and an online campaign is underway to persuade Count Dooku to reconsider breaking up the band.
When asked for comment on her bandmate’s decision, now-former Countdown bassist Cynthia Sin only swore at the reporter before leaving for an important appointment at the local career counseling office.

THE SUN'LL COME UP... ON WEDNESDAY
As seen on the Weather Channel:
We're in for some intense thunderstorms in De Chima this Monday and Tuesday evening. Lots of bizarre lightning predicted! If you're thinking about having a night on the town, you might want to think again! It isn't going to be pleasant, folks.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GRAY to MAROON. FIVE people voted for this code, that's why.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
pyrogue: (suits are for squares)
[personal profile] pyrogue
[ On screen is a very shirtless Mick wearing nothing but a pair of tight black yoga pants with red stripes down the side with the letters "BODY HEAT" running up one side and a towel around his neck. He's gotten an assistant to hold the comm. He's feeling very cold right now, actually, so he speaks just a bit faster than he normally would to get this over with. ]

Dunno how many of you know who I am, but I'm Mick Rory. I do a workout show called "BODY HEAT!" as a yoga instructor -- [ He smiles wryly in a "yeah, I know" sort of way. ] -- and we're doing something special starting in a coupla days. We want some guest stars to come on board and film a few episodes with me.

No yoga experience required either. Think of it as a free lesson -- that you get paid for. Just make sure to bring water. Gotta keep hydrated 'cause it's gonna get pretty warm. But that ain't so bad in February, right?

[ Mick is fine with it all year round, but he's aware that not everybody's into it. ]

On top of that, it's being tied into a charity drive to raise money for the Heropa General Hospital's Burn Ward. And since September we've gotta whole lot of new folks who have fire-breathing on us, it kinda needs it.

[ And a particular pet cause of Mick's, considering his background. But he's not advertising that part. He smiles again. ]

Any imPort's free to sign up, unless their name is Leonard Snart.

((OOC: This is more of an informal thing but def let me know if your character would get involved and if so if you'd prefer to handwave or log something about it, I'm totally good either way.))

02 | video

Feb. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
lovestoys: (i am perfect)
[personal profile] lovestoys
Yo, whauppppp party people!

[Axel is currently chilling out on his bed in just his undies because that's how he rolls. Truly he's a sight to admire. Or he thinks he is, given he's bare chesting it on the network. He's been working on his chest lately so behold the slow beginnings of muscle definition.

He might be an awful person but at least his undies are cute? Little duckies are totally manly pant-wise. Fight him.]


While I got an audience, I think it's time we all talked shop a little. Cause it's that time of the year for love and making connections so let's. Man to man. And, I guess, man to woman too. Now, I ain't saying I have any trouble in this area but I'm a little curious, just for arguments sake, what kinda techniques do you guys like to pull hot chicks? I'm talking A grade babes.

[Yes, hot chicks. He knows how to score 'below his belt', that's easy! He uses a wonderful mix of gently breaking them down and implying he's the best they can do.

He wants to get model level here. It's what a terrible dumpster goblin like him deserves - a sexy babe.]


That isn't all neither. Cause I'm like a total a feminist so I wanna hear from hot chicks too. Their side of things. [Cause he totally thinks this is a great way to bait them all out. Yes, yes, come to him, hot chicks. Admire how forward thinking and not at all gross and awful he is.] Like how'd you like a guy to romance you? What's your favourite move? How best can I get you horny? You know, the important stuff. Just how firm should a slap on the ass be cause, you know, guys don't know that kind of thing. We rarely get to experience that side of things unless we're like, you know, flaming or something.

[He shrugs his shoulders and leans back, grinning brightly.] Gimme something good and I'll share some of my moves. I got some good ones. I got a move called 'The Piper' that'll blow your mind.

( text )

Feb. 10th, 2017 02:55 pm
quickasever: (094)
[personal profile] quickasever
[ Miraculously, Wally had managed to keep a relatively low profile since he had arrived in this strange world the other day. But with it looking more and more like his stay was going to be a potentially lengthy one, he decided it was finally time to address the network. ]

this is some world they have here. it wouldnt exactly be my first choice for where id want to spend an indefinite vacation, but i have been to worse parallel universes and dimensions before. though i could have done without the freaky tattoo and the creepy file. i also dont think im really qualified to be a time management consultant even if i do appreciate the humor behind it.

anyway, i was wondering if anyone could help a new guy out? like, is there any sights i need to see? any hip places i need to check out? anywhere i need to avoid at all costs? and, more importantly, who makes the best burger and iced mocha around here? if im going to be stuck in this world, then i might as well get the full experience.

also, i dont suppose anyone knows what a green lantern is? they are a pretty big deal where im from.

whatever help i could get would be great. thanks.

video 🌟

Feb. 9th, 2017 06:10 pm
shittywizard: (Default)
[personal profile] shittywizard
[ A very fashionably dressed, green-skinned elf wearing a dapper, pointy hat over his long blond hair peers over the tops of some neon pink sunglasses to look into the camera. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem all that concerned with how this handheld technological wonder is able to broadcast him live, despite clearly being some sort of fantasy wizard. ]

So, this place is fucking bonkers, huh? One minute, I'm minding my own business, polishing the handle of my Umbra Staff and pretending to listen while some asshole tells me about his fish, and the next thing I know, I'm in some crazy bullshit world with floating battle wagons and way more elevators than could ever possibly be necessary.

On the bright side, I guess I'm a makeup artist now? Which sounds pretty sweet, I guess. Making people nicer to look at and not running all over the world to track down stupid-powerful weapons of mass destruction and almost getting killed every other Thursday? Sign me up! I needed a vacation, anyway.

But here's a really important question for all you listeners out there: who's gonna point Taako in the direction of the nearest day spa? Cha boy's had a hell of a day, and my pocket spa just ain't cutting it.

video;

Feb. 7th, 2017 07:53 pm
marriedmedium: (feather hat)
[personal profile] marriedmedium
[For those who know her, Sadie's natural sparkle is slightly dimmer as she appears on the network today, just a touch. For those who don't, it might well go unnoticed, as her smile is as broad as ever.]

Hello, darlings. For those of you who watch my show—and I'm sure it's many of you, as you all have such excellent taste—my producers have decided to do a special edition to celebrate Valentine's Day, celebrating the wonderful thing called love and ways we celebrate it through time and distance!

[Just for a moment, Sadie glances down to her wedding ring.]

Now, thanks to my vast experience speaking to ghosts, I have the time covered, but what about distance? I can't think of any distance greater than different worlds, so tell me, how do my dear fellow imPorts celebrate love?

text;

Feb. 5th, 2017 05:04 pm
picksthenames: (are you sure about this?)
[personal profile] picksthenames
at the risk of being That Guy, i gotta ask: whats the deal with the job assignments for new imports? are they all jokes or is the universe just messing with me?

either way, im definitely in the market for something better. the government wasnt helpful enough to kidnap me with a resume or references on hand, so i guess youll just have to take my word for it, but here goes:

names Cisco Ramon, techspert extraordinaire. masters in engineering, second best coder on my earth. app writer, gear inventor, whatever you need. i can weld, i can solder, i can sew (leather, which let me tell you, is a bitch to work with). new to this earth so help a brother out and tell me where to look, or just offer me a job, thatd be great either way. shacked up in heropa but commutings easy with these porter things right?

so yeah. call me. been a while since i had to look for a new job, but im pretty sure my interview game is still on point.

LLAP. 🖖

video;

Jan. 24th, 2017 04:38 pm
wizzardly: Name two. ('There are worse things than being dead')
[personal profile] wizzardly
Well, now that all the technomancy's up and running again, I don't suppose anyone ever got that riddle solved, did they? The actual one, mind. Not the one about why we lost lights and things in the first place.

[Rincewind taps a pencil with one hand against the open pages of a book thoughtfully, the other waving his lunch (an egg and cress sandwich) as he intones:]

"We did warn you. All of you have so much power. That comes at a cost. If you can't see in the darkness, then look to the stars.”

...I certainly don't remember any warning, and I've usually a keen memory for those.

Anyway, "power" seems a rather obvious double meaning, but it's the "looking to the stars" bit which has me curious. [a phrase which here means, "debating whether there's still sufficient enough impending threat to flee the country".]

ImPorts could be the stars - we certainly are in their TV and such, that's meaning enough. But if "power" has a double meaning, it stands to reason "stars" would as well. Were we actually supposed to be looking up at the night sky during all of that, do you think?

...I don't suppose anyone did any gazing while they were running about saving people?

[or just running, in Rincewind's case.]
socialactivillain: (084)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
[ The video feed ticks on to Piper in what looks to be his bedroom. There's a sleepy grey chinchilla loafing on his bed in the background, and a large brown rat perched on his shoulder. For once, he doesn't look like he's ready to start a fight. In fact, his hair is down and he might even be wearing pajamas? He looks comfy, at any rate. ]

Ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with sound. All sound, really, but especially music. And now, here I am in a different universe, with people from all different worlds with all different histories, and it's only just occurred to me that I'd never asked this before, but I'm curious about music from other worlds.

What do you like to listen to? What kind of music is popular where and when you're from? Do you play any instruments yourself? Do you play music professionally here, or even just for fun?
airshow: (Wear something slutty to my funeral.)
[personal profile] airshow
[Scene: a shaky too-close video of one James Jesse's obnoxiously grinning face. He's addressing the network in a loud stage whisper and a genuinely terrible accent that's either going for the Crocodile Hunter or David Attenborough — it's anyone's guess, because it's just the worst.]

What you're about to witness here today is truly a rare sight. Two hardened men — grizzled, some might say — in their natural habitat. Here, behind closed doors... they gussy up their plumage. Behold!

[Will Graham stands near a bed with a few dark skirts tossed over it, wearing a dark skirt himself. Fear not. He’s still got the usual plaid on top, so it’s not too obscene. He’s looking down at his bare shins as though seeing them for the first time.]

I see why you have skirts. Kinda tempting to walk home like this.

[He wouldn’t, of course. But still…]

Tend to wear them with pants.

[Case in point, the jeans - on the skinny side - he’s wearing right now. He’s not one to show much skin. He’s very much one for wearing skirts whenever he feels like it though, hence the selection on the bed.]

You gotta find the right fishy socks to go with this.

[Will cuts Len a sharp look — the sort that isn’t truly offended because he’s doing his best not to laugh. Or, like, chuckle a little. Which James figures is his cue to cut in.]

I've got about a dozen stripey pairs, if you're into that kind of thing. Ooh, or the ones with little capes on the back? Or there's always fishnet.

[Will’s eyes go wide in response, more to the camera than James. But what’s done is done. No hiding it now. He crosses his arms and looks down at his bared legs again before looking over to Len and asking:]

What do you think? Yes or no fishnets?

[Len keeps a steady gaze on Will’s legs as he considers, finally lifting his shoulders in a shrug. If being filmed bothers him it doesn’t show, he always looks like he’s posing anyway.]

Only with heels.

Then man, are you in luck.

002 | text

Nov. 7th, 2016 08:48 pm
hardedged: (no light)
[personal profile] hardedged
[ it's been a rough month for jessica — thanks to her arrival and reliving her traumatic memories with the devil himself. in between all of her alcohol consumption, she's had time to think because sadly, even hard liquor can't always numb the pain.

it's almost midnight, and she finds herself posting on the network. there's no username attached; she prefers anonymity for this topic. well, here goes nothing. ]


if someone's dead back home, is there any chance they can show up here?

and what if they're the goddamn devil? will the cops do something about it?

serious answers only. not in the mood for bullshit.

video

Nov. 7th, 2016 06:41 pm
airshow: (I robbed the continental breakfast.)
[personal profile] airshow
OH MY GOD STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING I HAVE WHACK-A-MOLE.

[ And now that he has your attention, he flips the camera back onto himself. Trickster is wearing a light-up bowtie over a dark blue button-up shirt, as that is what passes for finery to him. Behind him loom several bright, loud arcade games, a dart board, a plastic singing fish spraypainted gold, and — oh god, is that fake? — the taxidermied head of a crocodile wearing giant novelty sunglasses. ]

Goooood evening, my fellow Americans! Before we get too into the touchy-feely family-friendly parts of this holiday season, I have an announcement to make! The Frisky Nickel is (almost) open for business right here in our very own beautiful, muggy Heropa. But what is that, you ask? Well, that’s a darn good question! On top of obviously being a testament to the American spirit of unfettered, devil-may-care, perhaps even reckless entrepreneurship, it’s also a barcade. That’s half-bar, half-arcade, for those of you who aren’t naturally gifted at the whole smashing words together thing. It's okay, it's an art, I know.

Kids, young adults, and those of you without fake IDs: you’re allowed in the non-glug-glug-glug side of the establishment ‘til ten PM. After that things might get a little weird and I’m gonna have to kick you out. No hard feelings, I connect deeply with the emotionally immature, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. I’m not saying I’d consider letting you in with a fake mustache, but I might.

A-ny-who, I might need a couple hands around here, if anyone’s interested in gainful employment. Good at mixing drinks? Got fun ideas for what to do with sacks and sacks of quarters? Have some kind of mysterious other skill you think I should give you money for? Talk to me. I’ll put my job interviewin’ hat on for ya and everything. I don’t actually have a job interviewin’ hat, but I can make out out of balloons if the situation requires it. Just one of my many talents.

Anyway! Stop on by this Friday for the official grand opening! I’ll be handing out free tokens like candy, and handing out deep-fried Skittles, which are actual candy. Kind of.

01 | video

Nov. 5th, 2016 08:45 pm
crackshot: (i'm not grumpy at all)
[personal profile] crackshot
So. This has been a long couple of days. [The look on his face screams 'I am just so done' so much that he doesn't even have to say it explicitly] Any recommendations for a good bar around Nonah? I got a lot of sorrows to drown and not enough booze to keep me going.

[See, now, he doesn't need deets on what's going down, he gets the gist from the other posts he's checked in on and what his little handy welcome pack told him, he pretty much has that down. As insane that it is. What he doesn't have is a good reliable watering hole and that just isn't right. No man should go days, hours or minutes without one.]

If I spend any more time sober, I might actually start reassessing my life and my choices and I don't have time for that kind of shit. So just help a guy out here. I don't mind if I got to pay a little extra for a good drink but I'm not exactly flushed with cash here so let's not go nuts and send me to like the ritziest place in town. Okay? Reasonable. Prices.

[Wait, he should really clarify here because when it comes to finding a bar, you can never be too specific in your wants.]

Just don't direct me to some dive where they water down the drinks or I will come down on you like the hand of God and smite your ass because seriously, don't waste my time or my money. That shit ain't cute and I will come at you. Sensible suggestions only.

[There's a long pause before he adds:]

While we're on the subject of things I need, I got one more request. I need someone who's good with this thing right here. [He means the device, he even gives it a little shake to just display what he means.] I got a few questions.

004.

Oct. 29th, 2016 12:30 am
magnitudes: (Default)
[personal profile] magnitudes
( ooc: this is a pretty ridiculous post, but just chucking this behind a cut in case! Sarissa's kind of flippant and terrible sometimes, so I'm also gently linking an opt out post if there's any topics you'd sooner not come up, or would just prefer to opt out of cr with her generally :]b

content warning: discussion of cults, reference to serial killers, and potentially murder/group suicide/any else terrible that could tie into cults that could come up in the comments. I'll update as necessary. )



a survey regarding what would make joining a cult appealing. )

video;

Oct. 11th, 2016 06:54 am
garrick: (19)
[personal profile] garrick
[ Someone's looking thoroughly fed up for once. Gone is the charming, casual demeanour that usually comes with Hunter's videos; someone has ruffled his feathers.]

This place is a joke. I've been here long enough to know better and yet it just keeps on messing around and to be honest my patience is starting to wear thin. So what if I wound up on some Scottish island, that is none of this place's business so the whole AWOL thing can shove itself as far as I care. Don't test me or I will start taking it out in a more permanent manner.

Good to know that this place is essentially just a prison at it's core. You get dragged here against your will, set up to fight for the country against your will, and if you leave the country? They'll be on you like white on rice. And everyone so far is just sitting down and taking it. Don't you heroes have things to save back home? Don't the villains have things they need to destroy? Or are you just simply happy to sell out for a free apartment?

Now here's an off the wall suggestion. There's enough scientists here that if the Government won't send us home, we should just start looking into building a porter of our own. I mean why the hell not? Isn't like it's impossible huh?
catchacold: -.- (running hot)
[personal profile] catchacold
I'm a thief. I'm a crook.

[As Len talks he counts the points off on his fingers, one by one.]

I'm a liar. I'm a criminal. I'm a bad person.

[Five fingers and he holds his hand up for another second before pulling his fingers back in until he's holding up a fist. The glare on his face is promising a punch.

Lowering his hand, he puts it down on the bed he's sitting on and leans forward.]


But whatever they're saying I've done to get me in here? Wasn't me.

[To illustrate what 'in here' means, he turns the device, showing what is very clearly a jail cell. Then the camera is back on his face, which hasn't gotten any happier.]

Sorry for any appointments I might be missing because of this. Also, I could use a lawyer.

[He moves the device a bit closer, blue eyes narrowed. For someone so cold, that's a lot of hot anger.]

To the coward who framed me? I'll be coming for you.


[ooc: This is a result of Jonathan Crane impersonating Leonard and robbing Bruce Wayne. Leonard doesn't know that Crane did that yet. He just knows it wasn't him.]

video;

Oct. 5th, 2016 06:35 pm
wizzardly: of Cruel and Unusual Geography (Egregious Professor)
[personal profile] wizzardly
...Dear gods, have I understood the news right? [is today's stricken query from Heropa's resident, weary wizzard.]

We've only just gotten over that business with people fighting suits and new idiots getting powers, I don't think it's asking too much for a small break. I mean, honestly, can't we go a single month without suffering a new damned disaster?

Are we really about to have to go through those bloody 'imPort elections' all over again?
arsiento: (prepared to light him on fire in protest)
[personal profile] arsiento
[ The feed turns on shakily and abruptly, showing at first a view of mostly sky, but then it catches more blurry glimpses of scenery -- what might be recognizable as downtown Nonah, if someone were to squint or was just very familiar with the area by now -- as it moves again, as if being wrestled from someone. Voices can be heard above the fainter sounds of traffic, although there's the steady pulse of a nearby car stereo playing loudly and, occasionally, an engine revving.

Then the communicator steadies, being held at its owner's side; the camera now gives an un-aimed view the street, though at a somewhat diagonal, catching about half of the car in question in the shot. A guy's voice, about a foot away, says: "--the sickest shit I ever seen, man! Orale, show the guy, Angie!" And then the communicator moves again, the man holding it taking a step back as Angie breathes fire about five feet into the air. Only the fire and not Angie herself is visible on the screen, although within moments the speaker is stepping close again.

"You see that? It's legit, right? Just one selfie, man! Just one, come on!"
]


Then what, you'll finally beat it? [ Diablo's not speaking into the communicator, obviously, so his voice is muted, though still audible. ] I got nothing to say about no heroes, kid. Whatever you want? It ain't got nothing to do with me.

[ "Yeah, yeah, whatever! Damn, why you got to be such a bummer, dude?" The communicator raises again, rotating around to show two people: #1, a heavily tattooed man in a letterman-style jacket, "Diablo" embroidered on it like a nametag, looking impatiently at #2, who appears to be a teenager with slicked back hair ("AA" shaved into the sides), a lightning bolt tattoo on his neck, and large mirrored sunglasses. ]

Okay, how--

[ But, smiling delightedly, the boy waves into the camera, declaring: "Heeeey, imPorts! Que onda, stay crazy, guys -- we still believe in you! We got your backs now, so take it easy! Ride or die, man!" before he laughs and runs out of frame to join his off-screen friends; the car motor revs again. Diablo, still holding the communicator, does nothing for a moment except flick his eyes irritably and skeptically in that direction, then turns the camera around to capture the kids driving away. The car's plate reads "DOUBLE A". ]

Man, the hell was that. [ And now the camera once again rotates, his skeptical gaze gracing the screen. ] If that's what you all got around here, then no wonder they be importing in heroes like furniture.

[ Well... "heroes," as the still-dubious expression on his face may go on to suggest. He shrugs, then shakes his head. ]

But hey, y'know-- it's whatever. Anyone know where's a good shoe place around here?

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