knaval: (will make them pay)
[personal profile] knaval
Hi! I signed up for the president thing. For a laugh, really. I suppose I should make a speech, though.

[great start.]

Uhh... my name's Riptide! I'm almost four million years old and I've been to tons of planets so I've seen lots of political systems. Most of them don't work very well because people get really obsessive about having money so I think my first call of order will be that if you're a weird rich person, you get sprayed with a hose until you stop being weird!

[he claps his hands.]

Secondly! More non-human stuff! I got forced into a human body! I mean, what?? If there's gonna be non-humans here then we should accommodate them. I think I'm going to encourage all this weird technology to go into the right place. We don't need hovercars, we need more food and more alcohol! Is there even any cyberweed here? That too! That calms people down right quick.

[the one intelligent thought riptide has had about all this is that he can't just focus on himself and that humans are actually the dominant species on the planet.]

Leading on from that, I want that technology to go into medical advances and stuff. Again: are hovercars really necessary?

I'll let you know more as I think of them and I'm for the people, so if you have suggestions then let me know! I've never really liked the idea of one person making all the rules. It's always gotta be a team effort, doesn't it?
the_caped_crusader: (pic#10505002)
[personal profile] the_caped_crusader
[The video opens to the interior of his personal office, towering at the top of Wayne Enterprises headquarters in De Chima. At his desk, Bruce Wayne sits at the foreground of a sprawling cityscape, dressed in one of his many bespoken heather gray suits.]

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises and holder of the Wayne Foundation charitable organization here in De Chima. After nearly a year here, the influences of the Cold War are more apparent to me than they've ever been. Though we stand in a modern age, the unfinished business of the late 1940s survive. The fear of conflict, and division not only of post-war Europe, but here at home.

We live in a difficult and dangerous world, and there are no easy or magical solutions. Both imPort and native citizens alike look around and see social inequality and injustice, but we must seek diplomatic solutions before resorting to warring with each other. And while force must always be an option, it should be be considered a last resort. While we must be relentless in combating against enemies both foreign and domestic, neither of us can bear the burden of fighting it alone. We should all be a part of a united coalition, led and sustained by forces here that have the means to protect themselves.

It wasn't entirely too long ago that I thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, staying together, as a team, we would be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice. Organizations like R.I.S.E. have the right idea, but it's one that needs to be expanded upon. Back home, my world is protected by the Justice League, a strike force comprised of the world's mightiest heroes. Stalwart protectors of life, and a defense against all threats-- terrestrial and extra-terrestrial alike.

Through a group like this, it's my hope that we can relieve the financial burden of emergency management during a crisis, paving a way for the creation of a peace dividend; public money available to cities for other, very necessary purposes like education and health care, and a way to continue the efforts that Ambassadors Pevensie and Senator Hundred have worked so hard to establish. We were told when we first arrived here that we were going to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. I think, up until now, a lot of us feel like that hasn't quite happened yet.

If elected, I hope that you're all ready to change that.
doctopussy: (the daredevil pose tm)
[personal profile] doctopussy
[ The man on screen is wearing a bright white suit and white tie over a black shirt. He's framed the camera angle so his great big metal arms aren't visible, however. He's wearing sunglasses even though it's evening by now. His haircut is questionable. ]

As is often the case, when one wants to live a quiet life it's often interrupted. Since my arrival a few months ago, I've been occupied with the search for scientific progress. But it has become increasingly clear to me that I need to expand not only my scientific boundaries but my personal and political ones. Like it or not, we imPorts have found ourselves thrust into a world where our very existence has become politicized.

But as atoms bond to create something new, so too must we bond together to become stronger. To that end I feel the need to introduce myself.

[ He doesn't, and won't, outright say that this post is a response to Spider-Man making a list of his past and future crimes, but it is. He wasn't going to attempt to clear his name except a certain upcoming election has made him deem it prudent. ]

I am Dr. Otto Octavius.

I believe some of you may know me by a different name -- I understand the amount of alternate universes and timelines can become confusing for even those well-versed in such things.

[ He sighs, the picture of a man tired of having himself confused by an alternate version of himself. ]

Regardless, I am formally offering my scientific expertise if needed. I hope you all deign to give me a chance.

video

Jun. 9th, 2017 08:57 pm
airshow: (I sent an 18 page sext.)
[personal profile] airshow
[ The feed opens inside a bar, the decor of which can best be described as "the circus comes to Florida." There's an inordinate amount of neon signs on the walls, as well as the head of a taxidermied alligator wearing enormous novelty sunglasses. The soft yet somehow ominous clucking of chickens can be heard from somewhere offscreen.

James places a martini glass full to the brim with olives and, it's safe to assume, a small amount of actual martini, on the bar.
]

I call it the Cyclops Orgy. [ stage whisper: ] See, the olives are the eyes?

Now, while I'm obviously fan-gosh-darn-tastic at naming drinks, even a genius has to admit when he could use some fresh ideas. So! You submit your best boozy drink names — recipes optional — and if I use yours, you may win faaabulous prizes, including but not limited to: unlimited whack-a-mole tickets, a set of lawn flamingos that I decorated myself, aaand possibly even the world's cutest pony!

6

Jun. 7th, 2017 09:54 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871607)
[personal profile] ret2go
Soooooo... [Shantae says, fidgeting on the camera. She seems more awkward than usual.]

What the heck sort of worlds do you people come from where they don't have dance halls? Why is it that every time I mention that I used to be a dancer to make money back home, everyone always assumes that I was some kind of stripper?!

My clothes stay on, thank you very much!

--it's just hot where I come from!
catchacold: :) (so cool)
[personal profile] catchacold
[The video opens with a turtle on a skateboard. The turtle has an emblem on its shell, a lightning bolt in a white circle. It looks rather unperturbed by the entire situation.

A slight shuffle can be heard and then the turtle's skateboard gets a push. It starts rolling across the room. The turtle looks as nonplussed as a turtle can look. It's not very.

The skateboard isn't moving all that fast, but for a turtle? Pretty damn fast. The camera moves along with it, only slightly shaky. A hand can be seen stopping the skateboard before it hits the sofa. The same hand shortly thereafter produces a lettuce leaf and puts it down on the skateboard, something that gets more of the turtle's interest than the entire adventure so far.

While the turtle eats, the hand holds up a sign that reads: THE FASTEST TURTLE ALIVE!]




[The camera zooms out a little, showing a sleeping Mick Rory, stretched out on the sofa with a sign propped up against him.]



[Finally the camera turns, revealing the face of the mastermind behind all this, angling the shot so he can be seen sitting on the ground, leaning back against the sofa and petting the turtle's shell.]

This turtle needs a name for its secret identity. I take suggestions!

[He moves to turn the feed off, then thinks better of it.]

Rincewind, tell me if you want your turtle back. Just remember that it has the heard of a hero. [Wait, this is Rincewind he's addressing.] Metaphorically.

Also, Flash? You're on. My money's on the turtle.

Anyone else care to make a bet? Fastest Man Alive or the turtle, tell me your odds.
heckblazer: (i need yet another bloody drink)
[personal profile] heckblazer
[ It's probably not a video he records or posts deliberately, considering his lack of technological competence. But there he is, slouched alone on a pub patio, moping behind a cloud of cigarette smoke. He's well into a bottle of...good Lord, flavoured vodka? Birthday cake, no less?

Well. It's not like lushes can be picky. ]


Huh. Didn't think I'd make it to see another one of these days.

[ He adds his cigarette butt to the mountain on the ashtray in front of him, and lights another, muttering softly between his teeth, ]

Happy fuckin birthday to ya, Johnny.
Useless twit.

✞ video

May. 8th, 2017 11:36 pm
sunlighter: (Default)
[personal profile] sunlighter
[The video screen opens to the Church of the Morningstar, a large, pristine building of white concrete and hard, sharp, modern edges. It's owner, both of the phone in possession and the church in name, stands in front of it wearing a long black overcoat with the collar pulled up on this unseasonably cold day.]

You have no idea how disappointing it is to finally come outside the prison of creation and be surrounded by the ensnarement of worship. And not of anything, but of me most importantly-- something that, I must profess, becomes more tiring by the day. You've all chosen to squander your chance to live by your desires only to build a prison of rules and governing around yourselves. Even here, having left those devices, you've so eagerly baited yourselves again. Let's change that, shall we?

[He waves his hand, and the church in front of him warps and collapses in on itself, a twisting of light that causes its viewers to blink only to be met with an entirely new creation-- a piano bar which reveals itself to intimate prohibition-style decor within. A sexily backlit 1923 Steinway piano ties together a room dotted with small tables perfect for a night of Jazz music and drinks. Lucifer takes a seat and crosses one leg over the other, different looking perhaps than those of the same name imPorts have been familiar with in the past. In fact, he bears a striking resemblance the Thin White Duke.... or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the Thin White Duke resembled him.]

'Lux'... a name I once chose impertinently to create something of my own in the entrapment of His will, seems a little unsuitable now that I've liberated myself of those titles. A new name, I think, would be more appropriate. Perhaps 'Revīvēscere'.

video!

Mar. 12th, 2017 09:55 pm
hellosirs: (... and your very good friend!)
[personal profile] hellosirs
[ Angus has the communicator set to video, but he hasn't realized it yet. Anyone watching this transmission will get a blurry close-up of his chin and bowtie as he fiddles with the weird little device, muttering to himself under his breath. ]

It's like a little scrying crystal... or like if a scrying crystal had a baby with a Stone of Farspeech. Huh.


Oh! It's on, I didn't-- Uh... Hello sirs and/or ma'ams!

[ He holds the communicator out at arm's length, straightens his bowtie and adjusts the collar of his sweatervest - yes, sweatervest, he's dressed like a tiny, old-fashioned nerd - and nods politely at the camera. Gotta be polite! ]

My name is Angus McDonald, and I am the World's Greatest Detective. Um... at least, I am where I'm from. I don't want to be presumptuous and assume that I'm the best one in the entire planar system, that'd be silly, but I'm the best one in my world. And I'm not being braggy, that would be rude, I'm just stating a fact.

Anyway, uh... it's nice to meet everyone, I guess I might be here for a little while. Has anybody heard of 'Haphazardous Home's Nellie Dunn's Detective Novels'? They want me to work there as an intern, and I like mystery novels, but I'd rather help solve real mysteries than help someone write stories about them.

[ How do you sign off on these things? Angus stares at the communicator for a few seconds, uncertain, and then gives a little wave. The arm that he's waving with has a large metal bracer on it that almost reaches his elbow. ]

... Thank you, goodbye!
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2017
The new imPorts have been inspiring fresh fandoms; NEW fanfiction and art can be found FLOODING the internet. Be sure to shield your eyes if finding your person engaged with others in SAUCEY CONTEXT makes you blush!

DUNGEONS AND BRAGGIN' RIGHTS
As seen on THE NERDIERIST, Bwitter, and Rumblr:
The personable RPG tabletop game MAGIC & MAYHEM will create a SPECIAL EDITION that features imPorts as NPCs (players of the game will create their own "imPort" character in gameplay). The parent company WEST COAST BEST COAST will be asking imPorts for their consent for use of their image reimagined to the game's context. No monetary compensation will be paid, but this is a GREAT opportunity for EXPOSURE!

Speculation of which imPorts will be in the game's new edition has already begun on Rumblr.

DESPERATELY SEEKING SEASONS
As seen on the show ImPortainment Tonight!:
ARE YOU AN IMPORT? Do you have your own idea for a reality television show? Would you like to STAR in that show? Casting Call company UCCY INC is taking pitches and audition videos RIGHT NOW. Get it, girl!

VOCAL MOVEMENT
As seen in American entertainment news and social media, particularly music websites and publications:
The world of imPort entertainment received a shakeup this month with the announcement that the heavy metal band COUNTDOWN will be disbanding, effective immediately, due to the sudden departure of its lead signer and frontman Count Dooku.

The Count gave no explanation for his decision to leave the band beyond stating that “I have said all that I wanted to say through this artistic medium. To prolong it for commercial reasons would be crass and inorganic.”

Count Dooku also provided no indication of what his next career move would be, but rumours have linked him to a narrator role on the upcoming NBSea television documentary Secrets of the Sea Lions. Meanwhile, devoted Countdown fans have expressed shock and dismay at the unexpected end of the band, and an online campaign is underway to persuade Count Dooku to reconsider breaking up the band.
When asked for comment on her bandmate’s decision, now-former Countdown bassist Cynthia Sin only swore at the reporter before leaving for an important appointment at the local career counseling office.

THE SUN'LL COME UP... ON WEDNESDAY
As seen on the Weather Channel:
We're in for some intense thunderstorms in De Chima this Monday and Tuesday evening. Lots of bizarre lightning predicted! If you're thinking about having a night on the town, you might want to think again! It isn't going to be pleasant, folks.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GRAY to MAROON. FIVE people voted for this code, that's why.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
pyrogue: (suits are for squares)
[personal profile] pyrogue
[ On screen is a very shirtless Mick wearing nothing but a pair of tight black yoga pants with red stripes down the side with the letters "BODY HEAT" running up one side and a towel around his neck. He's gotten an assistant to hold the comm. He's feeling very cold right now, actually, so he speaks just a bit faster than he normally would to get this over with. ]

Dunno how many of you know who I am, but I'm Mick Rory. I do a workout show called "BODY HEAT!" as a yoga instructor -- [ He smiles wryly in a "yeah, I know" sort of way. ] -- and we're doing something special starting in a coupla days. We want some guest stars to come on board and film a few episodes with me.

No yoga experience required either. Think of it as a free lesson -- that you get paid for. Just make sure to bring water. Gotta keep hydrated 'cause it's gonna get pretty warm. But that ain't so bad in February, right?

[ Mick is fine with it all year round, but he's aware that not everybody's into it. ]

On top of that, it's being tied into a charity drive to raise money for the Heropa General Hospital's Burn Ward. And since September we've gotta whole lot of new folks who have fire-breathing on us, it kinda needs it.

[ And a particular pet cause of Mick's, considering his background. But he's not advertising that part. He smiles again. ]

Any imPort's free to sign up, unless their name is Leonard Snart.

((OOC: This is more of an informal thing but def let me know if your character would get involved and if so if you'd prefer to handwave or log something about it, I'm totally good either way.))

02 | video

Feb. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
lovestoys: (i am perfect)
[personal profile] lovestoys
Yo, whauppppp party people!

[Axel is currently chilling out on his bed in just his undies because that's how he rolls. Truly he's a sight to admire. Or he thinks he is, given he's bare chesting it on the network. He's been working on his chest lately so behold the slow beginnings of muscle definition.

He might be an awful person but at least his undies are cute? Little duckies are totally manly pant-wise. Fight him.]


While I got an audience, I think it's time we all talked shop a little. Cause it's that time of the year for love and making connections so let's. Man to man. And, I guess, man to woman too. Now, I ain't saying I have any trouble in this area but I'm a little curious, just for arguments sake, what kinda techniques do you guys like to pull hot chicks? I'm talking A grade babes.

[Yes, hot chicks. He knows how to score 'below his belt', that's easy! He uses a wonderful mix of gently breaking them down and implying he's the best they can do.

He wants to get model level here. It's what a terrible dumpster goblin like him deserves - a sexy babe.]


That isn't all neither. Cause I'm like a total a feminist so I wanna hear from hot chicks too. Their side of things. [Cause he totally thinks this is a great way to bait them all out. Yes, yes, come to him, hot chicks. Admire how forward thinking and not at all gross and awful he is.] Like how'd you like a guy to romance you? What's your favourite move? How best can I get you horny? You know, the important stuff. Just how firm should a slap on the ass be cause, you know, guys don't know that kind of thing. We rarely get to experience that side of things unless we're like, you know, flaming or something.

[He shrugs his shoulders and leans back, grinning brightly.] Gimme something good and I'll share some of my moves. I got some good ones. I got a move called 'The Piper' that'll blow your mind.

( text )

Feb. 10th, 2017 02:55 pm
quickasever: (094)
[personal profile] quickasever
[ Miraculously, Wally had managed to keep a relatively low profile since he had arrived in this strange world the other day. But with it looking more and more like his stay was going to be a potentially lengthy one, he decided it was finally time to address the network. ]

this is some world they have here. it wouldnt exactly be my first choice for where id want to spend an indefinite vacation, but i have been to worse parallel universes and dimensions before. though i could have done without the freaky tattoo and the creepy file. i also dont think im really qualified to be a time management consultant even if i do appreciate the humor behind it.

anyway, i was wondering if anyone could help a new guy out? like, is there any sights i need to see? any hip places i need to check out? anywhere i need to avoid at all costs? and, more importantly, who makes the best burger and iced mocha around here? if im going to be stuck in this world, then i might as well get the full experience.

also, i dont suppose anyone knows what a green lantern is? they are a pretty big deal where im from.

whatever help i could get would be great. thanks.

video 🌟

Feb. 9th, 2017 06:10 pm
shittywizard: (Default)
[personal profile] shittywizard
[ A very fashionably dressed, green-skinned elf wearing a dapper, pointy hat over his long blond hair peers over the tops of some neon pink sunglasses to look into the camera. Surprisingly, he doesn't seem all that concerned with how this handheld technological wonder is able to broadcast him live, despite clearly being some sort of fantasy wizard. ]

So, this place is fucking bonkers, huh? One minute, I'm minding my own business, polishing the handle of my Umbra Staff and pretending to listen while some asshole tells me about his fish, and the next thing I know, I'm in some crazy bullshit world with floating battle wagons and way more elevators than could ever possibly be necessary.

On the bright side, I guess I'm a makeup artist now? Which sounds pretty sweet, I guess. Making people nicer to look at and not running all over the world to track down stupid-powerful weapons of mass destruction and almost getting killed every other Thursday? Sign me up! I needed a vacation, anyway.

But here's a really important question for all you listeners out there: who's gonna point Taako in the direction of the nearest day spa? Cha boy's had a hell of a day, and my pocket spa just ain't cutting it.

video;

Feb. 7th, 2017 07:53 pm
marriedmedium: (feather hat)
[personal profile] marriedmedium
[For those who know her, Sadie's natural sparkle is slightly dimmer as she appears on the network today, just a touch. For those who don't, it might well go unnoticed, as her smile is as broad as ever.]

Hello, darlings. For those of you who watch my show—and I'm sure it's many of you, as you all have such excellent taste—my producers have decided to do a special edition to celebrate Valentine's Day, celebrating the wonderful thing called love and ways we celebrate it through time and distance!

[Just for a moment, Sadie glances down to her wedding ring.]

Now, thanks to my vast experience speaking to ghosts, I have the time covered, but what about distance? I can't think of any distance greater than different worlds, so tell me, how do my dear fellow imPorts celebrate love?

text;

Feb. 5th, 2017 05:04 pm
picksthenames: (are you sure about this?)
[personal profile] picksthenames
at the risk of being That Guy, i gotta ask: whats the deal with the job assignments for new imports? are they all jokes or is the universe just messing with me?

either way, im definitely in the market for something better. the government wasnt helpful enough to kidnap me with a resume or references on hand, so i guess youll just have to take my word for it, but here goes:

names Cisco Ramon, techspert extraordinaire. masters in engineering, second best coder on my earth. app writer, gear inventor, whatever you need. i can weld, i can solder, i can sew (leather, which let me tell you, is a bitch to work with). new to this earth so help a brother out and tell me where to look, or just offer me a job, thatd be great either way. shacked up in heropa but commutings easy with these porter things right?

so yeah. call me. been a while since i had to look for a new job, but im pretty sure my interview game is still on point.

LLAP. 🖖

video;

Jan. 24th, 2017 04:38 pm
wizzardly: Name two. ('There are worse things than being dead')
[personal profile] wizzardly
Well, now that all the technomancy's up and running again, I don't suppose anyone ever got that riddle solved, did they? The actual one, mind. Not the one about why we lost lights and things in the first place.

[Rincewind taps a pencil with one hand against the open pages of a book thoughtfully, the other waving his lunch (an egg and cress sandwich) as he intones:]

"We did warn you. All of you have so much power. That comes at a cost. If you can't see in the darkness, then look to the stars.”

...I certainly don't remember any warning, and I've usually a keen memory for those.

Anyway, "power" seems a rather obvious double meaning, but it's the "looking to the stars" bit which has me curious. [a phrase which here means, "debating whether there's still sufficient enough impending threat to flee the country".]

ImPorts could be the stars - we certainly are in their TV and such, that's meaning enough. But if "power" has a double meaning, it stands to reason "stars" would as well. Were we actually supposed to be looking up at the night sky during all of that, do you think?

...I don't suppose anyone did any gazing while they were running about saving people?

[or just running, in Rincewind's case.]
socialactivillain: (084)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
[ The video feed ticks on to Piper in what looks to be his bedroom. There's a sleepy grey chinchilla loafing on his bed in the background, and a large brown rat perched on his shoulder. For once, he doesn't look like he's ready to start a fight. In fact, his hair is down and he might even be wearing pajamas? He looks comfy, at any rate. ]

Ever since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with sound. All sound, really, but especially music. And now, here I am in a different universe, with people from all different worlds with all different histories, and it's only just occurred to me that I'd never asked this before, but I'm curious about music from other worlds.

What do you like to listen to? What kind of music is popular where and when you're from? Do you play any instruments yourself? Do you play music professionally here, or even just for fun?
airshow: (Wear something slutty to my funeral.)
[personal profile] airshow
[Scene: a shaky too-close video of one James Jesse's obnoxiously grinning face. He's addressing the network in a loud stage whisper and a genuinely terrible accent that's either going for the Crocodile Hunter or David Attenborough — it's anyone's guess, because it's just the worst.]

What you're about to witness here today is truly a rare sight. Two hardened men — grizzled, some might say — in their natural habitat. Here, behind closed doors... they gussy up their plumage. Behold!

[Will Graham stands near a bed with a few dark skirts tossed over it, wearing a dark skirt himself. Fear not. He’s still got the usual plaid on top, so it’s not too obscene. He’s looking down at his bare shins as though seeing them for the first time.]

I see why you have skirts. Kinda tempting to walk home like this.

[He wouldn’t, of course. But still…]

Tend to wear them with pants.

[Case in point, the jeans - on the skinny side - he’s wearing right now. He’s not one to show much skin. He’s very much one for wearing skirts whenever he feels like it though, hence the selection on the bed.]

You gotta find the right fishy socks to go with this.

[Will cuts Len a sharp look — the sort that isn’t truly offended because he’s doing his best not to laugh. Or, like, chuckle a little. Which James figures is his cue to cut in.]

I've got about a dozen stripey pairs, if you're into that kind of thing. Ooh, or the ones with little capes on the back? Or there's always fishnet.

[Will’s eyes go wide in response, more to the camera than James. But what’s done is done. No hiding it now. He crosses his arms and looks down at his bared legs again before looking over to Len and asking:]

What do you think? Yes or no fishnets?

[Len keeps a steady gaze on Will’s legs as he considers, finally lifting his shoulders in a shrug. If being filmed bothers him it doesn’t show, he always looks like he’s posing anyway.]

Only with heels.

Then man, are you in luck.

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