[ On screen is a middle aged woman rocking the modern/50s mashup aesthetic of this world in a very dignified and elegant sort of way. She sits in the deck chair of the backyard of Maurtia Falls #4 like it’s a throne. ]
It’s been roughly a month since I’ve arrived in this world -- I realize some of you may be newer and, uh, quite a few of you have been here for some time. In the month since I’ve arrived, I’ve learned a lot about this world, but I feel as though I’ve only just scratched the surface.
[ She pauses, thinking carefully over her next words. ]
The people native to this world either seem to put us on a very high pedestal, almost to the point of worship -- or we’re hated and viewed as a danger to the people here, with little sentiment in between. None of us asked to be here, I understand that, believe me. But for most of them? Neither did they. Even if we don’t, uh, become ‘heroes’, we have a responsibility not to make things worse at the very --
[ She jumps, stopping mid-sentence very abruptly, and looks down at something not visible on camera. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose, takes a deep breath, turns towards Maurtia Falls #3’s direction and: ]
TAAKO! Taako, please come get Taylor Swift off my leg!
She's just showing affection! Or trying to eat you. [ A pointy wizard hat and giant blond ponytail block the camera for a minute, before he extracts the giant black snake from his boss's leg. ] We're still kinda working on that. [ He peers into the camera. ] Is this thing on? Do any of you know anything about training snakes?
I could probably train a snake. I’ve got Animal Handling, you know, [ Magnus says for what must be the fiftieth time since Taako’s known him. Magnus is, naturally, in the background, climbing over the fence instead of just going through the goddamn door for no apparent reason other than the fact that he’s big enough to do it pretty easily and he doesn’t like being left out when everyone else is hanging out without him. There’s a creak from the fence. ]
Hey, your fence is kinda shitty, just for the record. I can fix it later. Anyway, I got some shit from the dollar store. [ He hurls two pairs of shutter shades at Lucretia and Taako, in blue and green respectively, before donning his own red pair. ] Now you can look super cool while you ask everyone about… uh… [ He leans over Lucretia’s shoulder to peer into the camera, all up in her personal space. ] What are we talking about?
[ Lucretia just barely catches the thrown shades, fumbling them a little in surprise. She absolutely does not put them on, though. Mild exasperation is coming off her in waves. ] As much as I appreciate the, uh, gift, Magnus, I was addressing the Network over a matter of some importance -- [ She pauses, as if realizing the futility of trying to continue with these chucklefucks getting all up in her business. She should cut her losses before any further affront to her dignity. ] But congratulations, it's now about snakes. Yes, snakes. Someone on this thing please tell Taako to put his in a tank, won't you?
((OOC: Blue is Lucretia, Green is Taako, Red is Magnus!))