doctopussy: (armed and dangerous)
[personal profile] doctopussy
[ The voice that speaks isn't Otto's; it's a Voice-To-Text robot. He then includes a text transcription to reach the widest audience possible. ]

Good evening, imPorts.

There is a significant matter which we need to discuss:

How shall we destroy the Porter?
journalkeeper: (once you pop the time control don’t stop)
[personal profile] journalkeeper
[ On screen is a middle aged woman rocking the modern/50s mashup aesthetic of this world in a very dignified and elegant sort of way. She sits in the deck chair of the backyard of Maurtia Falls #4 like it’s a throne. ]

It’s been roughly a month since I’ve arrived in this world -- I realize some of you may be newer and, uh, quite a few of you have been here for some time. In the month since I’ve arrived, I’ve learned a lot about this world, but I feel as though I’ve only just scratched the surface.

[ She pauses, thinking carefully over her next words. ]

The people native to this world either seem to put us on a very high pedestal, almost to the point of worship -- or we’re hated and viewed as a danger to the people here, with little sentiment in between. None of us asked to be here, I understand that, believe me. But for most of them? Neither did they. Even if we don’t, uh, become ‘heroes’, we have a responsibility not to make things worse at the very --

[ She jumps, stopping mid-sentence very abruptly, and looks down at something not visible on camera. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose, takes a deep breath, turns towards Maurtia Falls #3’s direction and: ]

TAAKO! Taako, please come get Taylor Swift off my leg!

She's just showing affection! Or trying to eat you. [ A pointy wizard hat and giant blond ponytail block the camera for a minute, before he extracts the giant black snake from his boss's leg. ] We're still kinda working on that. [ He peers into the camera. ] Is this thing on? Do any of you know anything about training snakes?

I could probably train a snake. I’ve got Animal Handling, you know, [ Magnus says for what must be the fiftieth time since Taako’s known him. Magnus is, naturally, in the background, climbing over the fence instead of just going through the goddamn door for no apparent reason other than the fact that he’s big enough to do it pretty easily and he doesn’t like being left out when everyone else is hanging out without him. There’s a creak from the fence. ]

Hey, your fence is kinda shitty, just for the record. I can fix it later. Anyway, I got some shit from the dollar store. [ He hurls two pairs of shutter shades at Lucretia and Taako, in blue and green respectively, before donning his own red pair. ] Now you can look super cool while you ask everyone about… uh… [ He leans over Lucretia’s shoulder to peer into the camera, all up in her personal space. ] What are we talking about?

[ Lucretia just barely catches the thrown shades, fumbling them a little in surprise. She absolutely does not put them on, though. Mild exasperation is coming off her in waves. ] As much as I appreciate the, uh, gift, Magnus, I was addressing the Network over a matter of some importance -- [ She pauses, as if realizing the futility of trying to continue with these chucklefucks getting all up in her business. She should cut her losses before any further affront to her dignity. ] But congratulations, it's now about snakes. Yes, snakes. Someone on this thing please tell Taako to put his in a tank, won't you?

((OOC: Blue is Lucretia, Green is Taako, Red is Magnus!))

[text]

Aug. 6th, 2017 11:09 pm
cleptes: ((4))
[personal profile] cleptes
[One in the morning was a great time to post to the network, right? Bela is restless and needs a distraction.]

Space ships. The undead. Magic. Monsters. Time travel.

Face it, a lot of us come from very strange worlds. Now I am not going to spend my time listing off every single weird thing I've heard since I arrived over two years ago, but I am curious about your experiences, dear imPorts.

The only things I haven't personally experienced are space ships, the undead and time travel so if anyone wants to elaborate on those, I am all ears. Although, I have it on good authority that space travel is especially thrilling. Also dangerous.


[It's a miracle that she is able to text.]

Indulge a girl won’t you, network? I know that some are you are bound to be awake right now.

I'll even say please if you want.

Ciao.

[Video]

Aug. 6th, 2017 03:28 pm
generalgrievous: (Straightforward)
[personal profile] generalgrievous
Tell me, of all the cities that imPorts are most frequently housed in, which is the best to actually reside in?

What are the benefits of each? What are the troubles within? Where are the best facilities?

I am considering a relocation so am seeking advice on this matter.

[ Video ]

Aug. 2nd, 2017 10:42 am
drivesadesk: (Default)
[personal profile] drivesadesk
[Jonathan has been moping, and now he's sitting outside in the park, sharing his thoughts.]

So...the clones are gone. Not just apprehended, but actually...you know...

Is anyone else bothered by this? I mean, they were living, conscious beings. And now they're not.

text;

Jul. 29th, 2017 09:03 pm
mathemagier: stop and go (Red light)
[personal profile] mathemagier
Not everyone wants to stay, and not everyone wants to leave. There are good reasons for each point of view.

If the Porter could be used to grant these certainties, what might be the best way to keep it from being abused?

Or is it only right to return to our own worlds, regardless of personal cost?


[someone's had too much time to think lately]
namesaquestion: (Not your friend)
[personal profile] namesaquestion
Has anyone seen Archie? [Nikolai, you're jetlagged. And, from what can be seen other than one furious teenager, somewhere in Heropa.]

That Furret of a coward had the gall to go and steal my pokemon! [Language, Niko. Language.] Took the 'balls right off my belt - all three o'them - then ran away to go hide like some useless spineless coward of a 'goon that's not even good for anything!  

Hmph. Think what you will about pokemon here, but they are classed as property in my world. He stole what's mine, and I want it back. Now. And no, I can't summon them back. I tried that already.

((OOC: Niko will be getting them back in three days, but we don't know how.))
governorkang: (Sons-of-bitches command face)
[personal profile] governorkang
By now, it's well-known we have a clone problem. I'm fairly certain that mine is responsible for at least two deaths in Heropa. From what I've managed to hear, it's become more aggressive and outspoken about imPort and non-human superiority, to the point of trying to start fights.

[And he is clearly not pleased with this.]

I need information on its location, and I need to issue a warning to anyone that may encounter it. If you find it absolutely necessary, I cannot stress enough killing from a distance of at least ten feet in a non-populated area. Draconians of my particular type explode when we die.

The good news is, its untrained in both combat and magic, making it much less of a threat than it could have been.

Regardless, I would prefer taking care of this situation on my own. Prevent it from harming others if you can, but leave the clone to me.
drivesadesk: (Default)
[personal profile] drivesadesk
[Jonathan is sitting there, in the comfort of his assigned housing, flood damage clearly visible on the wall behind him. Despite this, and his still wet hair and soaking clothes, Jonathan appears to be trying to keep a calm, professional demeanor.]

You know, I heard some really interesting stories about me over these past few days from some of the natives, things that would put me in places at times I know I was somewhere else. So I was just wondering if anyone had seen me acting unusual, maybe...I don't know, trying to half drown someone and drag them off? Because if you could let me know about anything like that, that would be awesome.

Also, if anyone wants to help me catch him, that would be great, because I'm not sure who would win in a fight between me and myself, but I don't want to find out. The key word here is 'catch', though. I am not cool with anyone killing my clone, because he might have had terrible role models, and he might have been made in a lab, but at the end of the day he's still a person and that's still murder.

So...that said, anyone up for helping me find myself?
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 20TH, 2017
ImPort versus imPort! Instances of death and violence have been reported, to the great mourning of some fans. De Chima welcomes a new Ambassador.

ANGEL OF REPOSE
As seen in Major News Websites: Human Interests Stories; imPort Speculation Boards:
As previously reported, on Mother's Day this year, a combined total of $2000 was donated to the Women's Shelters of the four imPort Cities. Last month, the donation came again. This month, it's been confirmed that a third donation of $500 to each of the Major Shelter networks in each of the four cities. This, combined with the return of another six children across the last two months, has cemented the idea that The Angel is here to stay and we couldn't be happier for it!

In related news, reports of Angel sightings have increased since the middle of last month. They've become more and more consistent in description and it's difficult to say if that's because The Angel has actually been seen or if people are merely jumping on the bandwagon in an attempt to claim a little fame for themselves. Previous 'sightings' have largely been dismissed, as descriptions from those he's helped have never been consistent beyond him being a man, sometimes flying them out of danger, and protecting them. However, more people are coming forward as witnesses to the aftermath of an Angel rescue. Many saying they've seen a person with colorful wings made of blue and orange light, but otherwise dressed in black, flying near or away from areas that are later reported to have been investigated by the Police after an Angel folder was left with a now-rescued victim.

Could the The Angel be officially joining the lines of costumed crime-fighters? We wouldn't be upset by that in the least!

THE JOY FUCK CLUB
As seen on local television channels and BlueTube via cellphone footage:
More imPort related mayhem this week as pop idol and Sumerian love goddess Inanna decided to take their beefs off the Network and into the pit. Their rash rampage of retribution tore thought Miami, Heropa, and even into downtown Nonah until it was brought to a bloody end by frequent gal pal Persephone.

With duplicates of several high profile imPorts allegedly causing their own brand of mischief, rumors have swirled as to what triggered the attack, or even if the attacker was indeed Inanna.

Representatives of Persephone declined to offer a statement, and she has not appeared publicly or on social media since the incident.

Failed DJ, Woden, who claims to know the goddess from his own world, was less reticent. "You know, even the best of us can snap. They came asking about things back home, so... I guess I'm not exactly the worst of us anymore. What a good feeling," the reporter noted, however, that immediately after, the god was caught trying to install a spy camera nearby.

OLD MAN AND THE SCREE
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs. Debate in related comment sections is somewhat fiercer this month, due to clone and imPort chaos, and some sites are no longer willing to share Dooku’s critical words:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features the Count speaking solo without any guest stars for once, as he holds forth on recent events.

Dooku begins by congratulating new Ambassador Sam Merlotte on his election victory in De Chima. He also deplores the recent violence in the Porter cities while wishing for peace. Yet the Count soon turns to the offensive, claiming that a “vast and ruthless conspiracy” is clearly behind the chaos and is seeking to frame imPorts for pointless crimes. He condemns the anti-imPort protesters who attacked the July Swearing-In, and demands to know why local police failed to protect the event. He also questions why the government has been ineffective at providing security for its own citizens without imPort support. “This hatred and fear against us cannot be tolerated,” he intones in his deep voice. “ImPorts defend and heal the people of this nation, despite being abducted, spied upon, and targeted. We deserve far better.”

Dooku closes this episode as he always does, by encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by speaking to their elected imPort Ambassadors. Yet this month, he also invites listeners to attend a SWEAR-OUT rally at next month’s Swearing-In ceremony, especially calling for imPorts and metahumans to add their support to the demonstration he is organizing. The Swear-Out will encourage new imPorts to be Unsettled just as the Swear-In calls for them to Register, and will offer a platform for all kinds of peaceful dissent. Free food and entertainment will be provided for all attendees. “If you have any grievances with the current state of affairs, come and voice them freely and without fear,” he says. “Together, our voices will be heard, and we will help create the change that is so deeply needed.”

A FAREWELL TO ALMS
As seen in local Nonah news:
Throughout the city of Nonah, little clay statues have been appearing in random places. They seem to take the image of the late Inanna, and each one is inscribed with the words "You feel my scars."

THE PORTRAIT OF A FARTIST AS A YOUNG MEME
As seen in De Chima tabloids, InstaSLAM, and Rumblr:
The imPort Riptide, renowned Meme King, has inspired a new trend simply by his existence. It's what kids ages 14 to 22 seem to be doing all the time now, they call it R.I.Ptiding. They're taking photographs of themselves posing like the Meme King himself -- next to gravestones. Of DEAD PEOPLE.

"It's very disturbing," said local fifty-nine year old man. "I don't like it. I don't like how things are different. Whatever happened to planking?"

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FELDGRAU to COQUELICOT.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

video

Jun. 27th, 2017 02:15 pm
faderbroderson: (smile like you mean it)
[personal profile] faderbroderson
[To slouch; a lazy, drooping posture or movement. Godric seems to have mastered the art of this form on a couch that appears to be in a quiet coffee shop somewhere. An untouched cup of coffee sits steaming on the table where he's propped his communicator. He lifts his coffee as he speaks, cradling it in his hands, but doesn't take a sip.]

Do you find that your life here is an improvement or a burden? Do you find yourself valuing things you have here that you did not have back home? Or alternatively, are there things you miss that you cannot hope to find here?

And if given the choice, would you stay or go?
knaval: (will make them pay)
[personal profile] knaval
Hi! I signed up for the president thing. For a laugh, really. I suppose I should make a speech, though.

[great start.]

Uhh... my name's Riptide! I'm almost four million years old and I've been to tons of planets so I've seen lots of political systems. Most of them don't work very well because people get really obsessive about having money so I think my first call of order will be that if you're a weird rich person, you get sprayed with a hose until you stop being weird!

[he claps his hands.]

Secondly! More non-human stuff! I got forced into a human body! I mean, what?? If there's gonna be non-humans here then we should accommodate them. I think I'm going to encourage all this weird technology to go into the right place. We don't need hovercars, we need more food and more alcohol! Is there even any cyberweed here? That too! That calms people down right quick.

[the one intelligent thought riptide has had about all this is that he can't just focus on himself and that humans are actually the dominant species on the planet.]

Leading on from that, I want that technology to go into medical advances and stuff. Again: are hovercars really necessary?

I'll let you know more as I think of them and I'm for the people, so if you have suggestions then let me know! I've never really liked the idea of one person making all the rules. It's always gotta be a team effort, doesn't it?
notgneiss: (what is brown and furry?)
[personal profile] notgneiss
I come from a world called Ferelden.

[stated plainly. shale doesn't want this to be a long or fancy post. she just has a few things to say.]

It's much like many worlds I've heard of while here - only... "medieval." I've taken that word to mean a hilariously backward world full of moronic humans who would probably believe you if you told them the sun was blown out by the Maker at night.

[she shifts slightly, the rune on her forehead glowing dimly.]

I find this amusing; even though I am from the medieval world, I think the humans in this technology-laden one are the exact same as the smelly morons I was surrounded by for almost thirty years. They have the same problems. They react the same way to hardships. They squeal when they see violence. I've even seen stories where another race is amazed to see humans still alive because they're so primitive. All written by humans, of course. They did the same in Ferelden.

[if anyone's expecting a 'but' they'll be very disappointed. honestly, shale's mostly just being a grumpy gus because her pals aren't here.]

It's quite pathetically self-aggrandising. Has there yet to be any one of you born with a modicum of self-awareness? It's been millenia.

Video

Jun. 4th, 2017 10:45 pm
stretchy_girl: (Gonna hurt you)
[personal profile] stretchy_girl

Hello dear imPorts! My name is John Smithson and I work on an ongoing project at the New York City Zoo. I am in the middle of writing a paper which looks into the types of Megafauna which have gone extinct in this world but which might still be extant in others.

So, does your world have dinosaurs, mammoths, giant scorpions, terrible predators or any other creatures that might be considered monstrous? If so please describe the creature(s) as best as possible below, and we will have one of our best digital artists create an image and add it to our database.

Thanks for your co-operation imPorts. We hope that you come visit our zoo sometime soon!

[OOC: Should anyone call the zoo to ask about the project they will be told that nobody by the name John Smithson works there and there is no such project. Curious huh?]
h2no: (>:3)
[personal profile] h2no
[here is archie again with another one of his weird dogs!! he's floating in the tide, hanging off a sunbathing sharpedo and holding onto its dorsal fin with his free hand.]

Yo! Alright, so apparently I can heal animals now! Sick as shit, right? I tried to get hired by the local vets but they said I have no experience and I'm a [finger quotes] disgrace to the profession and all higher education. Stupid, right?

[he can't imagine why people who had to study for years would be annoyed by some jackoff who shows up with magic.]

Anyway, if ya have somethin' that needs attention, give me a chirp. I'll come see what I can do about it and I'll charge less than those asshole vets.

...Don't call me if it's you that's got messed up, though. I tried, and I can't do shit for injured humans. Go to the hospital or call Angie or somethin'.

[the one thing he won't divulge is that he's actually reading vet books like some stupid nerd. awful.]

009 Video

Jun. 1st, 2017 10:30 am
thevictoriandetective: (Default)
[personal profile] thevictoriandetective
Criminals. I need criminals.

[A pause as his brain is working too fast for his mouth to catch up.]

I need to know any ImPorts who have a criminal history, recent or otherwise. Anyone who's had a history of violence, and/or theft.

[ Video ]

May. 25th, 2017 07:12 pm
drivesadesk: (Eager)
[personal profile] drivesadesk
Hello, everyone! You know, I've noticed a lot of crazy things happen around here, and so I was thinking I should start keeping a first aid kit around just in case. Unfortunately...there are a few things I'm having a bit of trouble finding, so I was wondering if you guys could help me out.

So anyway, if anyone could help me out here, I'm looking for Sodium Hydroxide as well as neoprene gloves and thread. The thread should be made of neoprene, too.

[If Jonathan knows that there's anything odd about his 'first aid' kit, he shows no sign of it. Also, if they look, they might see what Jonathan has gathered so far, which includes cellophane, scissors, gauze bandages, a thermometer, aspirin and anti-itch cream, all sitting on the desk behind him.]

text

May. 12th, 2017 10:27 pm
knaval: (but   not   me)
[personal profile] knaval
oi i was ment 2 have a human form here aparently
i think i broke it
were do i get another????

ps rod u around? hmu uve been on erth b4 rite? 🤔

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