maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JUNE 20TH, 2017
The Summer Solstice has arrived! Get out your favorite imPort-themed brews and crack open a cold one -- you might need the relief from that gorgeous sun beaming from above. And remember! If your loved ones are acting strange, please report them to the proper authorities for evaluation.

A REGULAR FUNSLINGER
As seen in Maurtia Falls papers and the nightly news:
Investigators are searching for a man in a cowboy hat who has robbed at least ten banks in Virginia over the last five months, six of which were within De Chima city limits. Some eyewitnesses claim to have seen the robber turn to smoke, fueling speculation that he could be an imPort.

He’s been described as a 50-60 year old male with blue eyes and a “country” accent -- and he’s not always alone. In at least two incidents, the suspect was accompanied by accomplices with unidentified super powers, and surveillance footage of the most recent robbery shows him leaving the scene on horseback. Although the suspect is said to carry weapons, no serious injuries have been reported.

Police wouldn’t comment on whether or not they believed similar robberies in other states might be connected.

Anyone with information about these robberies is asked to contact the De Chima police department.

ART THAT MAKES YOU THINK
As seen in The De Chimera, art publications, and Neurology Today!:
Mere months after the Hellish nightmare warscape that swept America, the culprit Joseph Kavinsky has been caught and rehabilitated, and he is now making his amends. His first donation was to the De Chima Museum of Science, a brain scan and livefeed hologram generator! Up to three participants at a time can utilize headsets to show neurological interactions. Pending further safety testing, the exhibit will open to the public in late June under the title, the John Murphy Exhibit. The show will continue for three months until the devices move on to medical retro-engineering. Mr. Kavinsky credits his inspiration to Dr. Frederick Chilton.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BEER BUT BEER ITSELF
As seen in local papers, social media, Bwitter MoMents:
Just in time for Fanport, Blue Man Brewing Co. is back with seven more freshly tapped beers! Check out your favorite imPorts we're honoring this time around:

Rincewind: Wizzard Brown Ale- English Brown Ale made with pecans. Maybe it's a little nutty, but we guarantee it's magically delicious! Our in-house Wiccan insisted on blessing each barrel, so maybe that did something?

Kanaya Maryam: Kanaya Marjoram- A classic saison with a twist, brewed with sweet marjoram. Look, it's not the best beer, but we’re standing by the pun.

Frederick Chilton: Take A Chil-ton Pils- Our classiest creation, this is a German-style pilsner. This is not a chugging beer; it's best served with a good, grilled brat.

Clara Oswald: Oswild Berry Cider- Blackcurrant and blackberry cider. If you're not totally into beer, this is something as sweet and sassy as it's namesake. Also British.

Harley Quinn: Barley Quinn- Golden Ale with strawberries. Great for barbecues, summer parties, or chugging before you go and key your ex boyfriend’s car.

Persephone: The Screamer IPA- A pomegranate infused IPA. Sure it's pink and bitter, but it's also the best thing you've ever heard...uh, tasted!

Count Dooku: Down for the Count- A dark, thick stout with a high ABV, infused with chili powder. Due to public health concerns, we’re legally required to sell this in single bottles only.

Get your six pack or full pour from our brewery, now open all week. And don't forget to come see us at our tent at Fanport, where we’ll be raffling off special edition bottles, merchandise, and even a keg of your own choice!

JUST ALEX JONESIN' YA
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features imPort survivalist celebrity Daryl Dixon and Unsettled (and recently AWOL) goddess superstar Persephone to discuss imPort NANITES. The Count asks his guests whether they think it is fair for imPorts to be injected with machines without their permission, in the name of safety.

The first part of Daryl’s answer is a simple “It’s bullshit.” He’s of the mind that the nanite injection should be a choice and, potentially, a privilege to be ‘earned’ or ‘lost’ by those it benefits the most: namely, murderers. The supposed goal of making sure all those wrongfully brought to this world by the Porter survive to get sent back sounds noble on the surface, but in practice… Between it and the legal system the government has in place for imPorts, too many asshole imPorts get away with literal murder. Along with the invasiveness of being able to track each of them, somehow monitor their actions enough to know if they’re breaking any laws to get one of those non-registration labels (but not do anything to stop them or alert people who can), giving them an unasked for tattoo that glows, and who knows what other changes they could be making? As he said at the start: “bullshit.”

Persephone says that’s not even all the levels of bullshit. No duh the government kidnapping and shooting people up while they’re out is sketch as hell. It’s not just tracking, permanently marking, and even resurrection (like everyone even wants that). Why should anyone trust that’s ALL it does?

Even more than that, it’s a BS patch on The Actual Problem. There’s only imPorts in the first place because the US is messing with power they don’t understand. Basically every story about that ends the same way. Abusing imPort rights now that they’re here doesn’t change that.

The Count closes the episode by thanking his guests for their participation and encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by organizing and lobbying their elected imPort Ambassadors.

DID IT HURT WHEN HEAVEN SCENT YOU
As seen mentioned in imPort-city papers:
ATTENTION IMPORT VOLUNTEERS! For those of you who had WILLINGLY AND WITTINGLY given your consent for a few samples, we have great news for you! As a deep and sincere thank you, HEAVEN SCENT LLC is sending you one of their CUTTING EDGE clone kits (parts one and two, small dark room for growing period not included). Obtain the desired clone DNA sample and follow the simple instructions -- in two weeks the sample you left quietly alone in a dark room will be your NEW cloned organism! Some rules apply:
1) only ONE kit per imPort volunteer
2) only ONE kit can successfully clone ONE organism
3) HUMAN BEINGS cannot be cloned
4) IMPORTS cannot be cloned
5) any attempt to replicate the chemical formulas and the kit's propagated DNA sequencing will render the samples and the trademark chemicals inert. Nothing can be learned from HEAVEN SCENT's technological technique this way.
6) while there is nothing barring you from reselling the kit, the practice would be highly frowned upon and HEAVEN SCENT would put you in their naughty books.
7) Please be cognizant of the responsibility inherent to giving life.

Congratulations, imPort volunteers! Be safe, be with SCIENCE!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from BIKINI SAND to GAMBOGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

video;

Jun. 15th, 2017 03:44 am
shutterbugged: (peter: wink)
[personal profile] shutterbugged
Hey, Network. I didn’t mean to go so long without posting, but it’s been, uh, a while--

[ --since shortly before he was unmasked on the network by Tony Stark’s evil alternate universe counterpart, actually. THANKS FOR THAT, BUDDY.

In deference to the new status quo, Peter is wearing one of his usual button-downs with the sleeves rolled up, but with the collar unbuttoned enough that the red of his costume peeks through. Baby steps! ]


If we haven’t met, I’m Peter Parker, also known as [ cough ] Spider-Man, and I’ve been here for a few years now, so if you’re new and have questions about how to manage this whole kidnapped-to-another-universe thing, I can try to field them. Not that you can’t ask if you’re not new, but anyway.

I've got two announcements to make--sort of a good news, bad news kind of thing.

[ Clasping his hands together: ] First, the good news! As some of you saw on a recent Majority Report, I'm going to be working with Kanaya Maryam, Norman Osborn, and Revan on our new venture to provide costumes and equipment to the superheroic masses. I'm really excited to be working with the team, and I want to thank Kanaya and Normie for bringing me on. Details at the link below, etcetera, etcetera.

[ There's an attached link which will take the curious onlooker or potential client to the project's website. ]

For the record, I'm signing on as one of the tech-heads. My job is to do everything in my power to help you use your powers most effectively and then get home safely. I've been advised in the strongest possible terms that I'm not allowed to give fashion advice under the auspices of the company--[ He may be slightly grumpy about this. His costume's a classic, Kanaya!!! ]--so for that you'll have to ask Kanaya.

cut for spider-man brand motormouthery(tm) )
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JUNE 10TH, 2017
It's been a quiet time with one big theme: summertime!
If you're a fresh-faced imPort, be sure to come by for a relaxing Swear-In. Go have fun, you son of a beach!

NOT ALL DOGS WEAR CAPES
As seen on TMI, the Nude Report, Uncensored imPorts, ImPorts IN THE WILD!, and Rumblr:
Officials who were stumped after a makeshift compound outside Heropa (later uncovered as a dog fighting ring) went up in flames have managed to unearth telling footage from security cameras which weren't burned to a crisp. After reviewing the tapes, they now have enough evidence to put the men involved in the ring away for a long time, and, surprisingly, the identity of the formerly-anonymous saviors who tipped them to the ring's location before its fiery demise. ImPorts Sam Merlotte and Will Graham can be seen in several grainy clips as both dogs and men, including a shot of Graham changing back and robbing one of the ring leaders of his clothes before both imPorts stuffed him into a cage. Other views show the two men sneaking around the compound and freeing the dogs. Curiously, the last clip is of both men's absolutely naked behinds, seen fleeing into the woods just before the compound went up in flames.

When reached for comment, Mr. Graham mercilessly knocked the camera in his face to the sidewalk, and Mr. Merlotte eventually testily suggested the reporter direct their questions to a nearby lamp post, implying it was equally as likely to offer a quote on the subject.

GRIN AND BEER IT
As seen on social media outlets and Nonah newspapers:
After months of hard work, preparations, and brewing, Blue Man Brewery in Nonah, NC announces its grand opening with a brand new line of beers based on your favorite imPorts! Here are just a few you can expect during their first week of tours and tastings:

Will Graham
: Good (Ol) Boy- Our own classic American lager. Light, refreshing, and great to take out for a day of fishing or hunting. Please do not actually share it with your dog.
Godric: Truly, Blood IPA- A blood orange IPA. He may not drink...beer, but we think Godric would approve of you having a cold glass of our bloody good IPA.
Theon Greyjoy: Squid?- A porter infused with dried squid that our intern swore would be amazing. So far, it's been described as "not...good?” by brewery employees.
Daisy Johnson: Crazy Daisy IPA- A very floral IPA, brewed with our very own strain of hops! Don't be fooled, though, this one can knock you on your ass real quick.
Ronan Lynch: Isn't It Ronan-tic?- Our version of an Irish Stout. Brewed in Virginia whiskey barrels, it's a little dark, a little fun, and a little bit of trouble. Just like it's namesake!
Jeff Winger: Jeff Zinger- A tequila barrel aged Lime Gose. Sweet and sour with a kick, just like the good lawyer himself. It's like drinking a margarita, but you can chug it! (Don't chug it.)
Newt Geizler: Kaiju Blue- A Blueberry Wheat Ale. It's crisp, it's refreshing, and you'll turn into a horrifying monster after too many!
Wanda Maximoff: Scarlet Witch- Our classic Amber Ale. No gimmicks here- this deep red ale might just be the one that saves the day! Currently only available with added red dye 40.

Every beer has a special label with art of the imPort made for us by fanartists around the world. All beers and ciders will be available on tap and in bottles in Nonah, De Chima, Heropa, and Maurtia Falls starting this month. Get yours today!

DAFT THUNK
As seen on Bwitter, from TMI's Bweet Bleed:
In a sparkling NEW SERIES heralding beneath the reign of celebrity gossip empire TMI, a new kind of polling has taken meme heights with IMPORTS UNMASKED. The christening subject is Woden, as inexplicably seen here, who has a tendency to always hide his face behind a reflective mask. WHY?? Well, we're here to find out!

Comment with the BASHtag #wodenexposed with any of the following theories:
1) Only chrome can contain his insecurity
2) He has kitten ears and is mortally ashamed
3) He is so beautiful that the world would melt if anyone ever witnessed his visage, so dressing dumbly is his sacrifice for us all
4) His face is a mash of many faces and this is just easier
5) It's just part of his look DUH!
6) Your own theory!

CALL TO ARMS
As seen on Rumblr:
With FANPORT just around the corner, the organizers would like YOU to comment on their RUMBLR BLOG fanportofficial with suggestions of imPort pairings/themes/works to feature during their GALA FILM ROLL, which will be on loop during the ending event. Unleash your hearts' desires!

YOU MADE THIS bEd
As seen on fanportofficial updates:
Bad news, bElish fans! The guerrilla artist and avant garde innovator bElish will not be attending Fanport. Or at least, bElish won't be attending under his bElish persona -- assuming he is a he! Or even just one person! The world may never know.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GODDESS GREEN to BIKINI SAND because there's something in the back of your mind, something granule, something that doesn't quite feel right -- oh, but who cares? You're at the BEACH! No reasons to worry, right?

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
deadkord: (Is it possible it just needs salt?)
[personal profile] deadkord
Important question:

Do birthdays still count if you're dead and don't have Calendar Man hanging around reminding you of important dates anymore?





Asking for a friend.
devoutish: (your boyfriend's cute and you're in jail)
[personal profile] devoutish
ws lukng up infrmatn abt nu splngs usd n txt cmmncatn n fns n cmputrs etc n mst of wut I fnd ws fckng wingng abt kds toda bng lzy n nt noing hw to spl prprly as f ts wr a mdrn fckng invntn

tr r sum difs n nw tngs hv bn dn wi em tt we ddnt do n t pst wi r telgrfs ex t nos splly r clvr

inform8ion, 4warned, 2day

bt t ida ws crtnly nt invntd bi 21st cntry chldrn s py rspct 2 ur eldrs wo wr fr bttr t bng incmprhnsbl tn ur kds toda

wn i gt trd f mi tny tlfn kybrd im guna rite al mi txts lk ts





OOC translation for people who don't hate themselves )
coppelganger: (movement)
[personal profile] coppelganger
[ Wonder of wonders, it's time for a rare as hell Sarah network post. But today is an important day, and for more people than just her, she's sure. When she appears on the network early in the afternoon, she's subdued, but then again, she always kind of is when she's doing something on the network. ]

Anyone else really missing their kid today? Or maybe just missing their mum?

[ That's it. She doesn't have a lot to say. The questions hang in the air for a few seconds, and then she reaches over and shuts the feed off. ]

( text )

May. 14th, 2017 11:48 am
pluviae: (39)
[personal profile] pluviae
Today is mother's day. I admit that I never knew a holiday like this one existed until yesterday.

let's talk about our moms )
acclimatized: (favourite day but favourite waitress.)
[personal profile] acclimatized
Did anyone see the news story about the business owner in Maurtia Falls this week? The one about Sally Cunliffe, a 68-year-old woman who died of a heart attack? It got Sherlock excited when he first heard it. He called it a suspicious death, so we decided to do a bit digging around to see what we could find out about her.

There are a couple of things we've found that the media didn't report on. Firstly, she had no family history of cardiovascular disease. She was actually in good health and relatively fit for her age when she died. Secondly, she died with a look of terror on her face the police can't explain.

And they still haven't found the person Sally transferred the money to before she died either. Like Sherlock, I found that a bit odd. Most people grab the phone to call for an ambulance when they have chest pain, not send money over.

So now Sherlock thinks she was murdered. He's sure of it. But I was just wondering, has anyone else heard anything about this?
hellrisen02: (Would you care if you lost the other?)
[personal profile] hellrisen02
This song and dance again. Never thought I'd...

[The man's voice (deeper, calmer) trails off. There's a long pause, then a raspy chuckle.]

Alrighty. In order'a business...

First, a multiple choice quiz: A, New York City. B, The City. C, The Hive. You only get to pick one, so choose wisely.

Second... hey, brat. Master Blaster? --Aurora Princess. Simba. Any'a you here? [Pause, then tentatively,] You... Alphabet soup gang? Yeah, right. How about you, Cats? Boom-Boom? Spidey-Mama?

[It could be worse, all things considered. A fresh slate meant he could keep his identity under wraps longer. And that, he'd long learned, was invaluable enough.]

[Besides, the government already had his number. Figuratively, if not literally. There's a long pause as he considers all this, then thoughtfully mumbles,] Aaah, it's not worth hiding, is it.
Iron Bot was a goner. I know that. But the chessmaster in the Porter- what'd you guys figure out about her?

Well, as for anyone else... If "Shinigami" rings a bell? Long time no chat.

( text )

May. 2nd, 2017 05:23 pm
thirdprogenitor: (pic#10129609)
[personal profile] thirdprogenitor
For those of you who were once human and are no longer, regardless of how long it's been, do you wish to go back to that fragile state or stay as you currently are? Whatever that is.

Or, for the humans, would you be so willing to give up your humanity for whatever power or little perk you might get from being some other... thing?


[ Just consider her a very old vampire who is confused with the number of those she comes across who seem ashamed-- unhappy even or not having fully accepted what they are. Self-love is important, right? ]
resipiscent: (come on)
[personal profile] resipiscent
Would anyone be interested in a couple of hamsters? Or I could split them up, I guess, if you're okay with only having one.

» video

Apr. 30th, 2017 10:26 pm
clobbers: (pic#11042109)
[personal profile] clobbers
( This has been on her mind for a while; the viewer can tell. Anyone who has met or known Kara Danvers will know that she's more prone to smiling than frowning. But she is, teeth sinking into her lower lip, that telltale crinkle between her furrowed brows as she looks up, regarding her audience solemnly. )

So I... I uh. Said and did some pretty awful things during that dream world. Thing.

( Shaking her head, she glances away. )

And I need to apologize for that, to all of you. That was way out of line. I'm not sure how or if I can make it up to those of you I've hurt or been rude to, but I'd like to try.

( With baby steps. Looking back at the camera, her features ease, and she rubs the bridge of her nose. )

Does anybody want ice cream? My treat. I'll start with that.

video/text

Apr. 6th, 2017 08:32 pm
notgneiss: (how many humans can you fit into a cart?)
[personal profile] notgneiss
Ugh... can't I even control who I see? What kind of a scrying device is this? [the screen is covered for a moment as shale pokes at it, annoyed.] Only mages could create something like this then make it completely worthless! Hmm...

[the feed abruptly switches to text as shale mashes the buttons.]

jdfjhdfkmjfdoks ndnjf;vc;ewu78hbg

[aaand back to video.]

No... device! Show me more flesh beings suffering! Does it need a sacrifice? I've already crushed at least five pigeons! Does it want something more substantial?

6 ● VIDEO

Apr. 2nd, 2017 08:00 pm
23wishes: (🌸 big smile)
[personal profile] 23wishes
[Oh, this is familiar. Aerith's back at it again with another self-made commercial. The video opens up to Aerith, standing in her garden with a sugary-sweet smile on her face.]

Happy spring, everyone! Isn't it beautiful? The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming - there's no better time to brighten up your home with some of my flowers, especially with all of the holidays coming up. Whether you're entertaining for Easter, getting a head start on Mother's Day, or you just want to show someone you care, I've got the best flowers around for you!

And I have some exciting news! I'm teaming up with a good friend for a special offer!

[And pan to Riku, who looks a hundred percent like he's regretting his life choices. He raises one hand in a facsimile of a greeting, eyes meeting the camera for a moment before he looks down at something in his other hand, offscreen.]

You really want me to say this...?

[Aerith hushes him from behind the camera, whispering back.]

It's fine! You got this!

[Riku's brows furrow. Stiffly, he recites, without looking up:]

Riku here. I'm very excited to tell you about our new team-up. Forgotten to pick up a gift for that -- [he clears his throat] -- special someone? Worry no longer, because we now offer no-wait delivery and flowergrams.

[Does he even know what a flowergram is? It's unclear.]

Order today...!

[He almost forgot to try sounding enthusiastic at the end there.]

Uh--

[Aerith doesn't sound sure about that take at all, but nevertheless, the camera cuts back to her.]

Place your orders right here, right now! Or come see me personally at Nonah 06 and pick out your own flowers right from my garden. Don't wait, or spring will hop right by you!


[ooc: this is a joint post, so replies will come from both aerith and riku!]

Text;

Mar. 31st, 2017 07:33 pm
fridgeflower: (what'cha doin'?)
[personal profile] fridgeflower
Choose your own adventure story.

Ready? Go!

You awaken from a deep slumber to find yourself in a forest. You have no idea how you came to be here, sprawled on ground, but at least you feel well-rested. As you sit up, you realize that you're on the edge of a wide, worn path. Ahead of you, the path forks. To the right, the path continues well-trodden and obviously more well-used. To the left, the path is still clearly visible and unobstructed, but is obviously doesn't get the same amount of use. Do you...

A. take the path to the right?
B. take the path to the left?
C. take the path away from the fork?
maskormods: (⒈)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 20TH, 2017
Mutilated corpses seem to be all the rage now. Be careful! Take heed! Don't walk down any dark alleyways or look into other people's trash cans, or you might find a dismembered head looking back!

MODERN FART
As seen in the local Maurtia Falls papers:
The unstoppable urban artist "bElish" has slapped down a new project near the Maurtia Falls mayoral residence. In bold, gold lettering is written "improptent" across the asphalt road leading to the residence. A spray of Petyr Baelish's face in light blue can be found alongside the enigmatic word. What is the meaning behind this art? Is it foreshadow? Is it anti-capitalistic outrage? Is the patriarchy now in free fall?

ON A STREAMING SITE FAR, FAR AWAY
As heard on hot and new online podcast sites and gossip blogs only, conspicuously not covered by mainstream media publications:
ImPort entertainer and occasional political figure Count Dooku debuted a controversial new podcast this week under the title of Counting Truths, using his inimitably deep voice to spread his knowledge on the Internet. The first episode, themed Truth and Justice, starts with Dooku stating his intention to spark frank discussion on political topics not covered by the standard American media, which he derided as a "chattering mass of celebrity gossip and frivolous nonsense." He urges his listeners to ask questions and challenge official stories, appealing specifically to America's superhumans, "those with the power to truly create change." Toward that end, he invites imPorts and metahumans to appear on later episodes of the podcast for interviews as guests.

The Count closes the episode by asking listeners to observe a belated moment of silence for what he calls "the Debrecen massacre," an incident roughly one year ago when American warplanes bombed the Soviet-allied city of Debrecen, Hungary to destroy alleged weapons research there, killing thousands of civilians. "No one has ever been held accountable for this war crime," Dooku intones in the podcast. "ImPort protests fell upon deaf ears. But I predict there will one day be justice for this and other acts of corruption. The innocent dead can never be forgotten."

TO THE VIKTOR, THE SPOILS
As seen in imPort tabloids, footage on BlueTube, gifs on Rumblr:
Viktor's powers are a menace and dragged Adachi into something that was a little too intimate looking. Prime material for gossip! Chew on it long and hard. Viktor cheating on Yuuri?? Is prudish Adachi now a homewrecker??

FRUIT OF THE DOOM
As seen national news:
Do you like apples? Do you like eating apples? Do you have any stock invested in Big Produce, with a finger on apple harvest? WELL SUCKS FOR YOU. Between March 20th - March 25th, an unprecedented and seemingly biblical thing happens: 80% of the apple produce in stores ROTS. Millions of dollars are lost in this hit, and it's a thing the CDC has to figure out, ideally along with the EPA, and CERTAINLY the Department of Agriculture. No other food appears affected, and the apparent famine is very, very brief. So what does this mean for YOU? Apples are temporary a scarce and incredibly expensive item, the surviving stock of that remaining 20% is now worth 5000% times its usual asking price.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GLITTER to SOLAR ECLIPSE because it makes you feel just a bit uneasy.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

4 [Video]

Mar. 14th, 2017 01:00 am
ret2go: (pic#10928311)
[personal profile] ret2go
[Shantae is lounging back in a chair, surrounded by what seems to be... paperwork? Her very long hair is somehow done up in a braid, which even still comes down to the small of her back. She's got a pen in her hand.]

So... hypothetically, if someone wanted to start a business here, how would they do it? 'Cuz back home in Scuttle Town, it's easy. You just need to buy space for it, or a stall, or whatever, and you need to have something to sell, and boom! You've got a business.

But here you have to fill out... forms. And I don't get this stuff at all.

I want to meet the person who invented paperwork and stuff his head in a fish pond. [A pause.] And then let him out, but that dunk would be reaaaaally satisfying...
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2017
Beware the Ides of March! That day is coming up, and with the sudden imPlosion of guilt and regret, you can't tell what someone under duress is bound to do to you just to clean their own soul.

WHAT IS TREND CANNOT DIE
As seen in high fashion magazines, seen on TMI and imPort! Entertainment:
The world of American fashion has turned its eyes to Florida-based design house, House of De Marq, upon announcing a new design label STORMBORN X MARQ in collaboration with imPort, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen. "We are very excited and honored to be working creatively with Queen Daenerys," was reported in the House of De Marq's official press release this morning. "We shall navigate the liminal spaces of unreality through fashion, and seek inspiration beyond the parameters of the mundane. We shall create a storm of fantasy and fabulousity." Notoriously elusive head designer De Marq, who could not be reached for further comment, has taken to Bwitter, posting blurry images of model fittings, landscapes, and obscure selfies with the hashtags such as #EYEOFTHESTORM, #FASHIONANDBLOOD, #UNBURNTUNTAMED.

The label will contain high end evening wear and jewelry, along with ready-to-wear fashion for professional women, inspired by De Marq's Westerosi muse.

Daenerys, most noted for her social media presence and fashion commentary in imPort entertainment, spoke enthusiastically for the label's future. "There will be a launch announced later this month, I believe, previewing collections to come. Proceeds will go towards Through The Glass, a nonprofit organisation that provides low-income women with professional attire and other career advancement services. Donations towards such a noble endeavour are most welcome."

EAT THE WOO'D
As seen on TMI, THEMport Weekly, and imTV:
Sources are reporting that long-time imPort couple Frederick Chilton and Raina are engaged. Post-Valentine's pictures of Raina reveal her wearing what is definitely a diamond ring. After nearly two years of waiting, fans of the couple can only speculate how truly romantic the proposal was.

"Chilton's had years now to plan it out. I bet he serenaded her with a song written by Rincewind. Because Rincewind's like a bard or something, isn't he? Like, a really sad bard?" One such fan wrote on Bwitter. Others responded that in fact Rincewind was flutist.

And while the fan response to this news was overwhelmingly positive and supportive of the couple, there were a few outcries from disappointed Marchill and Raintess fans. It's no secret the two couples are close, and during the rocky period, Raina was reportedly staying at the Hotel Castile. This led fans to draw their own (often lascivious) conclusions. Both pairings have a small, but highly devoted fanbase.

But no matter which ship you sail, one thing can be certain. Raina has changed her FaceLook status from 'It's Complicated' to 'In a loving relationship.' And we certainly wish Raina and Frederick Chilton all the best. Perhaps we will end 2017 with yet another imPort wedding!

HEARTS AND RECREATION
As seen in entertainment news magazines:
MULTIVERSAL PICTURES' first movie based on imPorts, THE WORLD IS ENOUGH, which revolves around the romantic story of married imPorts April Ludgate and Will Graham, held a stern lead at the box office for the first two weeks of its release. Critics are torn, some reporting it's good popcorn-eating fun, others calling it "too focused on the romance, not enough using super cool powers."

The usage of animals in this film has caused minor controversy as well, surprising no one. FORTY SHADES OF OCHER, the highly anticipated sequel to THIRTY HUES OF BLOOD ORANGE proved the only other movie audiences cared to see enough to knock it down to second. It's now performing in third, just below FUNIONS, the kid's film about Funyuns who function in a minion-like role.
Due to this success, MULTIVERSAL PICTURES has announced they are looking into more imPorts with stories worth putting on screen, and there has been talk of adapting events and imPort tales for the small screen as well. Keep an eye out!

THE RED SETTING
As seen in local news:
It's here, it's there, it's everywhere: "bElish". That's the name you will see scrawled across the roads and sidewalks of Maurtia Falls, spray-painted in vibrant maroon and brick hues. Looks like there's a new vandal in town, and he (or she) is going to paint the town red. Is this an homage to Ambassador Baelish? A challenge? Is there a deeper meaning?

WEATHER OR NOT
As seen on the Weather Channel:
Hold onto your hats, De Chima! On Saturday, March 11th you were be witness to a totally bizarre tornado just outside the city limits. This has literally never happened before in recorded history.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MAROON to GLITTER because Mabel Pines would have wanted it that way.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

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