THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 10TH, 2017 Chaos in the streets! Candidates in the bweets! This past week has been a maelstrom of bizarre miracles, rebellion, and political scrutiny.
VEE FOR VENDETTA
As seen in tabloids and the TMI blog, with very blurry photos:
The mysterious Vee, who has a passing resemblance to Veronica Sawyer, has been caught vandalizing buildings nightly. Teenage rebellion, some call it. Her signature seems to be complete with lyrics like "it's only teenage wasteland" and slogans like "fuck the police", all tagged with a V. Suspect is accused of wearing bright eighties outfits and a bandana to cover her identity and protect her nose from the fumes. She carries a croquet mallet and is considered armed.
Ms. Sawyer herself claims innocence. Leaked Heropan Police Department reports seem to support her numerous alibis.
A SIGHT FOR STARK EYES
As seen on literally every important talk show, day and night:
Spectators were shocked on the talk show "The Sight" this week, when an interview with CEO Tony Stark seemed to take on a life of its own. Stark was promoting a new line of antivirus software when they took a commercial break -- his segment seemingly done. When they returned, however, Stark asked for more time, to talk about, of all things, the legacy left by the Metahumans and the "4" app he'd been responsible for previously.
While it's common knowledge that Stark had not been himself at the time, his reticence on the subject had led many to believe that the CEO was uncomfortable with the legacy he'd left. But during the interview, he had nothing but positive things to say about it -- mostly the design of the virus, and how it allowed people to find an even playing field with the import community.
When asked if he would do it again, Stark just smiled, and responded with: "You never know."
As seen on Bwitter, Rumblr, the major social media sites, local news:
Many recently deceased individuals in De Chima are now... far less dead! RISE's Commander Sabriel has claimed responsibility in several interviews with local news, citing her actions as proof of the amazing power and benevolence of imPorts, and further proof of the need for RISE, since native authorities are unfit and unworthy of passing judgement on imPorts.
As for all the recently resurrected? Well, they lack vital signs, don't seem to heal, and are burned by sunlight and refuse to cross running water or any large body of water in general, but almost all of them seem happy to be 'alive' again when interviewed. Now, people from nearby towns and cities have started bringing their loved ones bodies to De Chima in the hope Sabriel will bring them back.
SKATERS TO THE LEFT
As seen in BlueTube, Bwitter, various trashy celebrity gossip tabloids:
Of all the imPort run panels at this year's FanPort, none have caused as much controversy as the skating panel run by imPort figure skaters Viktor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky, and newcomer Otabek Altin. While fans were delighted to have their questions answered directly by the trio, it quickly became obvious that Nikiforov was uncharacteristically subdued. One panel attendee commented "It's like he wasn't even there!" Plisetsky appeared to have taken charge, answering any questions directed at his older rinkmate, but the teen also seemed to be struggling throughout the panel. Fans report he appeared sluggish, a fact particularly evident when it came time for the exhibition portion of their panel. Plisetsky, known for his superbly polished choreography, performed a piece that many felt was rushed and sloppy. Some fans speculate that the teen must not have slept the night before; there are numerous reports that Plisetsky was relying on a steady stream of coffee and espresso just to keep himself going.
Many suspect this was due to the departure of Nikiforov’s fiance, Yuuri Katsuki, earlier in the month, but events after the Q&A session paint a different story. Fans of the skaters witnessed Tohru Adachi, imPort private investigator and notably close to Nikiforov, violently slapping him across the face. While Nikiforov seemed to come out of his depressive slump after the slap, these events seem to indicate something darker. After the attack Nikiforov participated in the skating portion of the panel, performing a program that figure skating experts say was far too long for any skater to safely perform without any endurance super powers. Powers that, to this reporter's knowledge, Nikforov does not possess.
Could this have simply been a simple argument between friends? Perhaps, if friends were known to viciously strike each other. More likely, this is a red flag of a possible abusive relationship. After the exhibition, Nikiforov and Adachi were seen kissing in front of a group of fans, an event that, along with the brutal slap, has been captured and displayed on BlueTube. (Short no-audio clips available here and here.) Has Nikiforov fallen into a rebound relationship with a violent SO? It could explain his unwillingness to engage with his fans in the first half of the panel. It was only after Adachi's attack that he appeared to come to life, but was it due to being "snapped out of it", or did he fear a more serious assault? Perhaps this is why young Plisetsky harbors such a deep resentment for the detective. The animosity between the two is well documented, but the source of it has never been determined. Maybe this is the answer fans of Plisetsky have been searching for.
FLORIDA MAN DOESN'T CLEAN UP OWN MESS
As seen first as amateur video on BlueTube, then on local Heropan news stations:
2:20AM, July 7th. Amateur footage shot after the fact:
Property damage evident from what is SUSPECTED TO BE an imPort-related incident. No one could confidently identify the perpetrator, or perpetrators. Local news stations were on the scene thanks to a called-in tip.
Witnesses at the scene could not offer more concrete details.
EBB AND FLOW OF THE RIPTIDE
As seen on Bwitter and Rumblr:
When political memes started up around the other candidates, someone pointed out that Riptide had no memes about him. The internet and Riptide's fans rose to the occasion, and now, many memes of him exist and they kind of have a theme.
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GAMBOGE to FELDGRAU.
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