maskormods: (⒉)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017
Native sentiment centralized in the east coast has been growing for a governmental response to the recent imPort-centric chaos. The government, ever protective of imPorts, has been reluctant to set down any new regulations -- but constituents have been calling their congresspeople.

HE KANGED, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED
As seen on BlueTube (via cellphone footage), Bwitter, Rumblr, and Heropean local news:
Some of the clone mayhem has been put to a stop in an explosive manner, thanks to the draconian imPort Kang. The amateur footage shows him cornering his own clone in an alley several blocks from a restaurant favored by locals. Kang is heard shouting for others to back away before shooting energy darts out of his hand, killing the double troublemaker on the spot. The body then reduces to bones and explodes as if they were made of dynamite, much to the surprise of the onlookers. No others were hurt, and there was minimal damage to nearby property.

According to Kang, before the video ends, this is completely normal for his race.

There had been reports of this clone starting fights in several bars and espousing imPort and non-human superiority. He has also been linked to three local deaths. No official statements have been made by the police as of yet.

AIN'T NO SNOWFLAKE
As seen in national newspapers and De Chima televised channels:
A new shelter is being opened by former ambassador candidate Jon Snow. While De Chima has a number of shelters in use, Lord Snow has promised that his will not only be located outside of the city, but will provide housing not only for the homeless, but for the imPorts currently without support and between jobs. He's stated in recent interviews that the shelter will provide assistance in finding more permanent housing and jobs, as well as teaching the residents of the shelter valuable tools to help them in various careers. Donations and supplies are requested, delivered to Snow's office between the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

"We are in this together," Snow has told reporters. "We need to band together, all of us. It's the only way our city will thrive."

ABSOLUTELY SIMFUL
As seen on BlueTube play-by videos, local Heropa news, Rumblr, and in internet ads:
There's a new mobile app that has been causing something of a stir amongst natives. Launched just this week, HEART KAPOW WOW is an app that enables natives to embrace the ImPort experience... via dating sim. The game is available to anyone interested for a small fee, but the most interesting thing is that some of the dating options might seem a little familiar. Players have the option to go with a number of dating routes, and live either a heroic or villainous life. More information on the game and uncanny dating options is available here!

SELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
As seen in entertainment magazines and the official TMI blogosphere:
Reality stars Noah Czerny (of "True Afterlife") and Ronan Lynch (one half of the duo from ETV's "fuckups & tryhards") have taken to BlueTube in a series of videos depicting the boys performing tricks and stunts with novelty toys in the shape of male genitalia. As of this report, the videos have over one million views. Whether the viral performance is a spontaneous act by the boys or a calculated move on the part of UCCY INC Network in an attempt to merge its popular teen imPort franchises remains a point of debate on entertainment news sites and forums. Both boys, who are roommates and make cameo appearances on their respective programs, have a large following on Imstagram and recently toured London as guests of the British government in celebration of a new trade deal between the US and UK.

THELMA AND OH GEEZ
As seen on Rumblr discourse, in Bwitter threads, and watched on on TMI Tonight:
SPOTTED: Daenerys Targaryen giving a statement to police called to the site of her recent fender-bender. Her passenger at the time of the accident was friend and sometime collaborator Gwen Wynne-York, to whom she was overheard remarking, "I think we won that".

Ms Wynne-York could not be reached for comment but was reportedly struggling to contain her laughter.

Ms Targaryen is rumored to have settled with the other party.

ROW ROW ROW AND BOATS
As seen on imPort Message boards, Community Interest News Stories, Boating Enthusiasts Newsletters:
A heated argument has broken out among Boater Enthusiasts the last few weeks. It's not quite an all out battle, but races have been tossed around as a possibility. The Prize? Having imPort Riptide sign off as the mascot of whichever club wins! So far no word has come from Riptide himself as to which club he supports, but Heropa's two largest clubs, Pier Pressure and Schooner or Laker have been making some waves. Only time will tell if the riptides will turn in their favor, or if they'll be washed out to sea.

BAEB IN PLOYLAND?
As seen on all Maurtia Falls news channels:
On July 21st, imPort ambassador Petyr Baelish officially announced he would be running for mayor in an interview with the Maurtia Falls Times. The signs had been there for quite a while what with him running regular town hall meetings and drumming up support in the education and business communities, but up until now he had been rather coy when asked about his ambitions. When prompted about whether this would mean he would step down from his ambassadorial position, Baelish responded he had no plans to step down unless he secures the office and he believes he would be fully capable of devoting his time to his fellow imPorts as well as running his campaign.

Current mayor Tony Cardelli seemed unconcerned about Baelish's announcement. "While I can greatly appreciate the works Ambassador Baelish has put into place during the time he's served this city, I think the people of Maurtia Falls will know better than to appoint an imPort in the role of mayor. And that's nothing against his capabilities, but quite simply being an imPort always runs a risk of them spontaneously vanishing or otherwise leaving the city at risk. Look at what happened to our city just this past week because of imPorts. And I could go on record naming numerous times imPorts have been the cause of our city's problems. Because of this, I am confident I will be reelected for a second term." Cardelli told Channel 7 News in a press conference after the clone catastrophe.

Even so, many cars have been spotted around the city with a single mockingbird bumper sticker in solidarity with Petyr Baelish, his town hall meetings have been seeing a dramatic increase of foot traffic, and whether it's the work of the famed guerrilla artist or copycats -- the message "embElish maurtia falls" has been cropping up in gold spray paint all across the city. It's clear that Ambassador Baelish has drummed up quite a bit of support quicker than anyone realized, and it seems as though Cardelli will be forced to take his campaign seriously.

On August 18th at 7:00pm, Mayor Cardelli and Mayor-Hopeful Baelish will be going head to head in their first town hall debate. The citizens of Maurtia Falls are encouraged to come ask questions or air out their grievances.

POKEDISASTER
As seen on BlueTube, Rumblr:
What appears to be the imPorts Blue and Archie, seen here, having a battle of pocket monsters in the middle of London. IN CONSEQUENCE of this intense one-on-one, a large, poisonous sludge-strewn crater was left in their wake. Disaster!

Dragged off by their respective Pokémon, these brawling trainers might have gotten away with it anonymous -- but imPort Niko recorded it and uploaded it onto BlueTube page. What!

TIME TO MANABU UP
As seen in Nonah local papers:
Seen as a kind of goodwill effort by some (or tasteless infiltration by others), imPort Manabu was interviewed by local journalist Jacknard Pulley regarding his induction into the North Carolina Nonah Division Police Academy. Manabu has stated that, to quote, "he's hoping his actions will speak for themselves; he wants to help everyone, imPort and local alike".

The article itself was published in multiple papers, as Pulley is a freelance journalist. A feel-good piece that has been criticized as imPort propaganda by anonymous users on Bwitter has nevertheless found some support within the Nonah community.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COQUELICOT to WENGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
h2no: i am a genius (WE'LL DIG UP THE BOX)
[personal profile] h2no
[ though may is the first thing that can be seen on the feed, it’s the sound of a high-pitched yipping that comes before she can speak. only a moment later, a small, gray puppy can be seen sniffing and investigating the camera. may giggles, picking up the dog(?) and plopping it in her lap. ]

C’mon, settle down a little. You’re gonna be getting a new brother or sister soon!

puppers!!! )

7 [Video]

Jul. 24th, 2017 11:56 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871607)
[personal profile] ret2go
So... show of hands, who's had something like this "evil clone" thing happen to them before?

Because for me, it was more like "the wicked manifestation of my magic" but I still think it counts...? Is this a common occurrence, or just me?
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 20TH, 2017
ImPort versus imPort! Instances of death and violence have been reported, to the great mourning of some fans. De Chima welcomes a new Ambassador.

ANGEL OF REPOSE
As seen in Major News Websites: Human Interests Stories; imPort Speculation Boards:
As previously reported, on Mother's Day this year, a combined total of $2000 was donated to the Women's Shelters of the four imPort Cities. Last month, the donation came again. This month, it's been confirmed that a third donation of $500 to each of the Major Shelter networks in each of the four cities. This, combined with the return of another six children across the last two months, has cemented the idea that The Angel is here to stay and we couldn't be happier for it!

In related news, reports of Angel sightings have increased since the middle of last month. They've become more and more consistent in description and it's difficult to say if that's because The Angel has actually been seen or if people are merely jumping on the bandwagon in an attempt to claim a little fame for themselves. Previous 'sightings' have largely been dismissed, as descriptions from those he's helped have never been consistent beyond him being a man, sometimes flying them out of danger, and protecting them. However, more people are coming forward as witnesses to the aftermath of an Angel rescue. Many saying they've seen a person with colorful wings made of blue and orange light, but otherwise dressed in black, flying near or away from areas that are later reported to have been investigated by the Police after an Angel folder was left with a now-rescued victim.

Could the The Angel be officially joining the lines of costumed crime-fighters? We wouldn't be upset by that in the least!

THE JOY FUCK CLUB
As seen on local television channels and BlueTube via cellphone footage:
More imPort related mayhem this week as pop idol and Sumerian love goddess Inanna decided to take their beefs off the Network and into the pit. Their rash rampage of retribution tore thought Miami, Heropa, and even into downtown Nonah until it was brought to a bloody end by frequent gal pal Persephone.

With duplicates of several high profile imPorts allegedly causing their own brand of mischief, rumors have swirled as to what triggered the attack, or even if the attacker was indeed Inanna.

Representatives of Persephone declined to offer a statement, and she has not appeared publicly or on social media since the incident.

Failed DJ, Woden, who claims to know the goddess from his own world, was less reticent. "You know, even the best of us can snap. They came asking about things back home, so... I guess I'm not exactly the worst of us anymore. What a good feeling," the reporter noted, however, that immediately after, the god was caught trying to install a spy camera nearby.

OLD MAN AND THE SCREE
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs. Debate in related comment sections is somewhat fiercer this month, due to clone and imPort chaos, and some sites are no longer willing to share Dooku’s critical words:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features the Count speaking solo without any guest stars for once, as he holds forth on recent events.

Dooku begins by congratulating new Ambassador Sam Merlotte on his election victory in De Chima. He also deplores the recent violence in the Porter cities while wishing for peace. Yet the Count soon turns to the offensive, claiming that a “vast and ruthless conspiracy” is clearly behind the chaos and is seeking to frame imPorts for pointless crimes. He condemns the anti-imPort protesters who attacked the July Swearing-In, and demands to know why local police failed to protect the event. He also questions why the government has been ineffective at providing security for its own citizens without imPort support. “This hatred and fear against us cannot be tolerated,” he intones in his deep voice. “ImPorts defend and heal the people of this nation, despite being abducted, spied upon, and targeted. We deserve far better.”

Dooku closes this episode as he always does, by encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by speaking to their elected imPort Ambassadors. Yet this month, he also invites listeners to attend a SWEAR-OUT rally at next month’s Swearing-In ceremony, especially calling for imPorts and metahumans to add their support to the demonstration he is organizing. The Swear-Out will encourage new imPorts to be Unsettled just as the Swear-In calls for them to Register, and will offer a platform for all kinds of peaceful dissent. Free food and entertainment will be provided for all attendees. “If you have any grievances with the current state of affairs, come and voice them freely and without fear,” he says. “Together, our voices will be heard, and we will help create the change that is so deeply needed.”

A FAREWELL TO ALMS
As seen in local Nonah news:
Throughout the city of Nonah, little clay statues have been appearing in random places. They seem to take the image of the late Inanna, and each one is inscribed with the words "You feel my scars."

THE PORTRAIT OF A FARTIST AS A YOUNG MEME
As seen in De Chima tabloids, InstaSLAM, and Rumblr:
The imPort Riptide, renowned Meme King, has inspired a new trend simply by his existence. It's what kids ages 14 to 22 seem to be doing all the time now, they call it R.I.Ptiding. They're taking photographs of themselves posing like the Meme King himself -- next to gravestones. Of DEAD PEOPLE.

"It's very disturbing," said local fifty-nine year old man. "I don't like it. I don't like how things are different. Whatever happened to planking?"

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FELDGRAU to COQUELICOT.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
dexnav: (pic#8584387)
[personal profile] dexnav
[ the feed flickers on to the image of a young girl, sporting her trademark red bandanna. unlike may's usual chipper attitude, her expression at the moment looks a bit uncertain and serious. ]

So... I have a question for you guys. You know Archie, right? The big buff Pokémon Trainer that wears wetsuits a lot? Talks like a pirate?

[ she'll even hold up a drawing to the feed for a visual - it's a bit of a simple, cartoonish sketch (she's 12, cut her some slack), but the blue bandanna, cross-shaped face shadow and shapely beard should be enough to give the right idea to who she's describing. ]

I kind of wanted to know if he's been... "up to" stuff here - like, crime stuff. I don't think you should be worried - I mean, he's a good guy! He just has a really extreme way of going at things, you know? And sometimes those extremes end up being super illegal.

[ she wants to trust his word that he's reformed, but there's a lingering worry in the back of her mind. some of the people here must have been talking to him since before she showed up, and she wants their honest observations to put her . ]

I just wanna know if he's behaving himself like he promised me back home. You guys HAVE to tell me, okay? I think I'm kind of responsible for him at this point. [ she reaches to click the feed off, but before she does- ] And don't tell him I asked!

[ yes, she's basically his tiny parole officer. please report any and all suspicious activity. ]

pyrogue: (hair follicles elude local man)
[personal profile] pyrogue
Hey everybody, Mick here.

[ The bald man on camera is trying to be friendly but there's a part of him that's just wary -- he didn't want to have to do this but it's been a bit too long. ]

First off, if you know anybody that's hiring, lemme know. Been looking for a new job and can't really get one in the same line of work as my last one. Can't really blame 'em.

Before I came here I did lots of different kinda work but you can't really put it on a resume. Who d'you call for references? But I figured imPorts might be a bit more understanding so I'm including my previous work experience. I can include my "official" resume if you want, this is just the stuff I left out.

[ And he includes a text attachment: ]

- Fire-eater
- General labor at a Matchsticks Factory
- Production worker at a Glassworks Factory
- Superhero understudy at Cadmus Labs
- FBI anti-Rogue consultant

voice.

Jun. 25th, 2017 12:49 pm
puppydoctor: (✚ if you have a minute why don't we go)
[personal profile] puppydoctor
Hi. Um, my name's George, Dr. George O'Malley, and with Lucy gone I'm gonna try to keep the clinic here in De Chima open. It runs on kindness, though, donations and volunteers, so it could sort of use all the help it can get. If you have any medical experience, or if you're able to help us cover some costs, or if you're just some kid who has a few spare hours to help bandage people up, then get in touch with me. Every single bit helps, believe me.

[There's a few moments of radio silence as he tries to figure out how to turn off the feed.]

No, don't eat that, Chip, that's not food.
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JUNE 20TH, 2017
The Summer Solstice has arrived! Get out your favorite imPort-themed brews and crack open a cold one -- you might need the relief from that gorgeous sun beaming from above. And remember! If your loved ones are acting strange, please report them to the proper authorities for evaluation.

A REGULAR FUNSLINGER
As seen in Maurtia Falls papers and the nightly news:
Investigators are searching for a man in a cowboy hat who has robbed at least ten banks in Virginia over the last five months, six of which were within De Chima city limits. Some eyewitnesses claim to have seen the robber turn to smoke, fueling speculation that he could be an imPort.

He’s been described as a 50-60 year old male with blue eyes and a “country” accent -- and he’s not always alone. In at least two incidents, the suspect was accompanied by accomplices with unidentified super powers, and surveillance footage of the most recent robbery shows him leaving the scene on horseback. Although the suspect is said to carry weapons, no serious injuries have been reported.

Police wouldn’t comment on whether or not they believed similar robberies in other states might be connected.

Anyone with information about these robberies is asked to contact the De Chima police department.

ART THAT MAKES YOU THINK
As seen in The De Chimera, art publications, and Neurology Today!:
Mere months after the Hellish nightmare warscape that swept America, the culprit Joseph Kavinsky has been caught and rehabilitated, and he is now making his amends. His first donation was to the De Chima Museum of Science, a brain scan and livefeed hologram generator! Up to three participants at a time can utilize headsets to show neurological interactions. Pending further safety testing, the exhibit will open to the public in late June under the title, the John Murphy Exhibit. The show will continue for three months until the devices move on to medical retro-engineering. Mr. Kavinsky credits his inspiration to Dr. Frederick Chilton.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BEER BUT BEER ITSELF
As seen in local papers, social media, Bwitter MoMents:
Just in time for Fanport, Blue Man Brewing Co. is back with seven more freshly tapped beers! Check out your favorite imPorts we're honoring this time around:

Rincewind: Wizzard Brown Ale- English Brown Ale made with pecans. Maybe it's a little nutty, but we guarantee it's magically delicious! Our in-house Wiccan insisted on blessing each barrel, so maybe that did something?

Kanaya Maryam: Kanaya Marjoram- A classic saison with a twist, brewed with sweet marjoram. Look, it's not the best beer, but we’re standing by the pun.

Frederick Chilton: Take A Chil-ton Pils- Our classiest creation, this is a German-style pilsner. This is not a chugging beer; it's best served with a good, grilled brat.

Clara Oswald: Oswild Berry Cider- Blackcurrant and blackberry cider. If you're not totally into beer, this is something as sweet and sassy as it's namesake. Also British.

Harley Quinn: Barley Quinn- Golden Ale with strawberries. Great for barbecues, summer parties, or chugging before you go and key your ex boyfriend’s car.

Persephone: The Screamer IPA- A pomegranate infused IPA. Sure it's pink and bitter, but it's also the best thing you've ever heard...uh, tasted!

Count Dooku: Down for the Count- A dark, thick stout with a high ABV, infused with chili powder. Due to public health concerns, we’re legally required to sell this in single bottles only.

Get your six pack or full pour from our brewery, now open all week. And don't forget to come see us at our tent at Fanport, where we’ll be raffling off special edition bottles, merchandise, and even a keg of your own choice!

JUST ALEX JONESIN' YA
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features imPort survivalist celebrity Daryl Dixon and Unsettled (and recently AWOL) goddess superstar Persephone to discuss imPort NANITES. The Count asks his guests whether they think it is fair for imPorts to be injected with machines without their permission, in the name of safety.

The first part of Daryl’s answer is a simple “It’s bullshit.” He’s of the mind that the nanite injection should be a choice and, potentially, a privilege to be ‘earned’ or ‘lost’ by those it benefits the most: namely, murderers. The supposed goal of making sure all those wrongfully brought to this world by the Porter survive to get sent back sounds noble on the surface, but in practice… Between it and the legal system the government has in place for imPorts, too many asshole imPorts get away with literal murder. Along with the invasiveness of being able to track each of them, somehow monitor their actions enough to know if they’re breaking any laws to get one of those non-registration labels (but not do anything to stop them or alert people who can), giving them an unasked for tattoo that glows, and who knows what other changes they could be making? As he said at the start: “bullshit.”

Persephone says that’s not even all the levels of bullshit. No duh the government kidnapping and shooting people up while they’re out is sketch as hell. It’s not just tracking, permanently marking, and even resurrection (like everyone even wants that). Why should anyone trust that’s ALL it does?

Even more than that, it’s a BS patch on The Actual Problem. There’s only imPorts in the first place because the US is messing with power they don’t understand. Basically every story about that ends the same way. Abusing imPort rights now that they’re here doesn’t change that.

The Count closes the episode by thanking his guests for their participation and encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by organizing and lobbying their elected imPort Ambassadors.

DID IT HURT WHEN HEAVEN SCENT YOU
As seen mentioned in imPort-city papers:
ATTENTION IMPORT VOLUNTEERS! For those of you who had WILLINGLY AND WITTINGLY given your consent for a few samples, we have great news for you! As a deep and sincere thank you, HEAVEN SCENT LLC is sending you one of their CUTTING EDGE clone kits (parts one and two, small dark room for growing period not included). Obtain the desired clone DNA sample and follow the simple instructions -- in two weeks the sample you left quietly alone in a dark room will be your NEW cloned organism! Some rules apply:
1) only ONE kit per imPort volunteer
2) only ONE kit can successfully clone ONE organism
3) HUMAN BEINGS cannot be cloned
4) IMPORTS cannot be cloned
5) any attempt to replicate the chemical formulas and the kit's propagated DNA sequencing will render the samples and the trademark chemicals inert. Nothing can be learned from HEAVEN SCENT's technological technique this way.
6) while there is nothing barring you from reselling the kit, the practice would be highly frowned upon and HEAVEN SCENT would put you in their naughty books.
7) Please be cognizant of the responsibility inherent to giving life.

Congratulations, imPort volunteers! Be safe, be with SCIENCE!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from BIKINI SAND to GAMBOGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

text; 002

Jun. 18th, 2017 11:34 am
picksthenames: (flashback arms crossed)
[personal profile] picksthenames
[ Cisco is trying his best to put his best foot forward with this advertisement, so he's going out of his way to actually capitalize words and use proper punctuation. Be proud of him. ]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the ImPort community, my name is Cisco Ramon, and I'm here to offer my services to you. The Porter brings us here, gives powers to those of us who don't already have them, and the Government wants us to use those powers to fight crime as heroes. For some people, that's just another Tuesday. But there's a whole subsection of the ImPort community that doesn't come with pre-made costumes or alternate identities.

Ramon Tech is here to help.

Back home, I outfitted Central City's heroes with the clothes and tech they needed to fight criminal metahumans. We're talking the Flash, Kid Flash, Jesse Quick, Vibe, and others. My tech has made it to other cities, times, and alternate Earths. But you don't have to take my word for it. I have examples of my work to show you:
Attachments:

Feel free to contact me here or via my personal line. All client identities are kept confidential. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, or set up a time for us to meet in person.

Thank you for your time. 🖖

video »

Jun. 12th, 2017 02:31 am
eloquentness: (patient)
[personal profile] eloquentness
[ The feed opens up to a young woman sitting behind the counter of a flower shop. Several flower arrangements are lined up behind her, some more artfully arranged - and frankly, more gorgeous - than others.

(They're works in progress, okay?) On the bright side, she's sticking to safe combinations or single-flower bouquets, rather than branching out. ]


Hey, everyone. [ She beams into the camera; first impressions matter, after all. ] I've gotta ask, especially if you've been here a while: what's one thing you wish you'd known when you first got here?

I'm no stranger to parallel universes - trust me, living in Central City will do that to you - but it's still kind of surreal, you know? This doesn't have to be anything life-changing. It can be something small like, oh... I don't know, your new favorite coffee place?
socialactivillain: (alone in this empty room)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
Hello, imPorts. Some of you might already know me, but there have been a lot of new faces around since the last time I really put myself in the public spotlight. My name is Hartley Rathaway, but most people just call me Piper.

Since I arrived here a year ago, I've been deeply involved with several native-run charities—most notably Helping Hands, Open Hearts in Heropa, Aid De Chima, No One Alone in Maurtia Falls, and Color House in Nonah. Things like homelessness, hunger, and poverty shouldn't be an issue in places as technologically advanced and progressively-minded as our Porter cities, but they seem to be universal constants.

To step up my assistance in these causes that I feel so strongly about, I've decided to start my own organization, focused on imPort aid to the native communities in our cities. Ideally, we'll network with the existing organizations to get more imPorts involved in giving back to the communities that made space for us in their world, and focus on imPort-related issues that affect those communities, such as imPort-related crime and disasters.

So I'm here today looking for imPorts who are either willing to volunteer their time or money, as well as those who would be interested in seeking a career in this line of work. Paid positions will be limited, as our resources are better spent invested in the communities we'll be supporting, but I'm looking for some folks with previous history in public service, similar volunteer organizations, or office work.

Feel free to contact me here, or at my private contact.

[ He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should end on that note or continue with his last request. Sheepishly, he goes on. ]

...Also, if anyone has any suggestions for naming this organization, that's really all that's holding me back from filing the final paperwork to get this thing off the ground.

Puns appreciated, but only good ones.
h2no: (>:3)
[personal profile] h2no
[here is archie again with another one of his weird dogs!! he's floating in the tide, hanging off a sunbathing sharpedo and holding onto its dorsal fin with his free hand.]

Yo! Alright, so apparently I can heal animals now! Sick as shit, right? I tried to get hired by the local vets but they said I have no experience and I'm a [finger quotes] disgrace to the profession and all higher education. Stupid, right?

[he can't imagine why people who had to study for years would be annoyed by some jackoff who shows up with magic.]

Anyway, if ya have somethin' that needs attention, give me a chirp. I'll come see what I can do about it and I'll charge less than those asshole vets.

...Don't call me if it's you that's got messed up, though. I tried, and I can't do shit for injured humans. Go to the hospital or call Angie or somethin'.

[the one thing he won't divulge is that he's actually reading vet books like some stupid nerd. awful.]
catchacold: :) (so cool)
[personal profile] catchacold
[The video opens with a turtle on a skateboard. The turtle has an emblem on its shell, a lightning bolt in a white circle. It looks rather unperturbed by the entire situation.

A slight shuffle can be heard and then the turtle's skateboard gets a push. It starts rolling across the room. The turtle looks as nonplussed as a turtle can look. It's not very.

The skateboard isn't moving all that fast, but for a turtle? Pretty damn fast. The camera moves along with it, only slightly shaky. A hand can be seen stopping the skateboard before it hits the sofa. The same hand shortly thereafter produces a lettuce leaf and puts it down on the skateboard, something that gets more of the turtle's interest than the entire adventure so far.

While the turtle eats, the hand holds up a sign that reads: THE FASTEST TURTLE ALIVE!]




[The camera zooms out a little, showing a sleeping Mick Rory, stretched out on the sofa with a sign propped up against him.]



[Finally the camera turns, revealing the face of the mastermind behind all this, angling the shot so he can be seen sitting on the ground, leaning back against the sofa and petting the turtle's shell.]

This turtle needs a name for its secret identity. I take suggestions!

[He moves to turn the feed off, then thinks better of it.]

Rincewind, tell me if you want your turtle back. Just remember that it has the heard of a hero. [Wait, this is Rincewind he's addressing.] Metaphorically.

Also, Flash? You're on. My money's on the turtle.

Anyone else care to make a bet? Fastest Man Alive or the turtle, tell me your odds.
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: APRIL 20TH, 2017
WAKEY WAKEY,
FOR HEAVENS SAKEY!

GOTT JUSTICE?
As seen televised on local and national news:
April 30th
Import Dr. Hermann Gottlieb-Geiszler was taken into custody late on April 23rd on charges of willful breach of government security. Details are classified, but it's a blow for the small, yet devout following of fans shocked by the news and arguing on behalf of the newly married doctor. But not only has Dr. Gottlieb pled guilty during his trial, he's offered no defense and shown little remorse for his alleged actions. Whether he's unaware of or simply disinterested in his staunchest fans is unclear.

Deemed guilty by the courts, Dr. Gottlieb is facing a two month sentence in medium-security prison, with the possibility of an early probational release on review. Officials say the De Chima-based imPort has been cooperative, but has threatened legal action against the local police department, citing violations of the ADA and criticizing the lack of official guidelines for the detainment of physically impaired suspects. So far, only a formal complaint has been filed.

"It could have been worse," Officer Reiman says. "We didn't expect to find [the suspect]. His file lists a teleportation ability and could have prompted an international manhunt. He'd had plenty of warning too-- had to get the cruiser buzzed in. Almost seems like he wanted to be arrested."

Meanwhile, imPort critics say that Dr. Gottlieb only let himself be arrested because of the unfair sentencing policies that favor cases like his. Typically, cyber crime has resulted in 2-5 year sentences for the non-imPort population. But whatever his motivations, there's no way to know for sure.

Dr. Gottlieb's evaluation is expected to take place on May 24th. His husband, Dr. Newton Gottlieb-Geiszler, could not be reached for comment.

BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE
As seen in HOT HOT BEAT, TMI Magazine, IMPORTED GOSSIP, and national news:
Fans of the hot yoga show "BODY HEAT!" were shocked this past week to discover the show's popular imPort host, Mick Rory, was arrested for arson. Rory admitted to setting his government-assigned house in Heropa on fire on the 13th of April, just before the holiday weekend. Rory has been sentenced to two months parole and community service, but has not given any public explanation for his actions.

Speculation is running rampant, with many pointing out that Rory had been known to offer his services to various Fire Departments in the Porter Cities, and had only just a few weeks ago had run a charity drive for the Heropa General's burn ward. Some have called attention to his little-used but widely known alternate alias "Heat Wave", and a rumoured criminal past. Fans online are split between those expressing outrage and those arguing it was a simple mistake.

As for BODY HEAT!, the producers made a public statement that they are reviewing his contract for breach of its Moral Clauses, and have since officially retired Rory from the show.

A BET-TER WORLD
As seen in local Maurtia Falls advertisements:
All bets are ON! WHO will be the next imPort arrested for criminal activity? The handsome Sam Merlotte? The incredibly loud Count Dooku? The beautiful Bela Talbot? The coquettish Yuri Plisetsky? Rope in your financial manager and/or gambling broker and put down a name, you could win it big if fate favors your delinquent pick.

(Smart money is on imPorts who are often seen wearing black).

YOU KNOW NOTHING, SPRING SNOW
As seen on the Maurtia Falls weather channel:
Bad news for people who were enjoying the spring weather. An extreme cold front is sweeping the east coast this weekend, producing blizzard like conditions for the state of Pennsylvania. You can expect to see snowfalls of up to two feet with wind gusts of up to 45 MPH. Folks of Maurtia Falls should brace for impact on April 21st. Wind gusts and heavy snow could cause localized power outages and downed trees. The department of transportation has announced that they are armed and ready with plows to clear the roads, and travel should not be adversely affected for long, but advises that drivers stay off the road if it can be avoided.

Just when you thought you were in the clear, it seems that Winter Is Coming back again.

THE DOOK OF HAZARD
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
The newest episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features The Doctor as a special guest star, interviewed by the Count for his take on recent dangerous incidents like the attack by armies of historical mirages that ruined the last weekend of March, and the blight of apple crops rumoured to have been caused by failed biogenetic testing.

The Doctor’s interview mostly involves a lot of rambling about the timeline, attempts to explain temporal paradoxes to the casual listener, and a little bit of grumping at the government for not letting people look at the Porter. Dooku has to get him back on track multiple times but, all in all, it’s a good interview. The most important thing is that the Doctor surmises that some of the problems, such as the historical mirage attack, might be caused by a temporal malfunction in the Porter. After all, the Porter is an impressive machine but it’s just a MACHINE. It’s entirely possible the Porter can’t juggle all these timelines and accidentally slipped up somewhere.

The Count closes this month’s episode by encouraging any listeners who are concerned about political issues to speak out by contacting the imPort community’s elected representatives with any questions or complaints. To this end, he has helpfully shared the following public contact information:

Lord Petyr Baelish, imPort Ambassador for Maurtia Falls
Queen Lucy Pevensie, imPort Ambassador for De Chima
Miles Naismith Vorkosigan, imPort Ambassador for Nonah
United States Senator Mitchell Hundred of Virginia

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from OF THE HEART to INDIGO-GO because nothing shakes off the sleepies like an impromptu dance party.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
slightlyoffchilt: (Inchoate.)
[personal profile] slightlyoffchilt
[There is a brief camera pan, angled generously to evoke the gold and black accents of the clinically pale blue room. The Greco-Roman aesthetic speaks strongly of Frederick Chilton’s office, and those who have already graced the room might recognize it immediately.]

We wanted to discuss this for no particular reason -- no specific catalyst in mind. Just that, well, it ought to be discussed.

[Clearly Chilton’s voice. Without further ado, the camera is pointed quite suddenly and squarely at Will Graham’s face. He definitely didn’t get anywhere close to a full night of sleep and looks past the camera long enough to show that he wasn’t ready for a close up, Mr. Demille. He takes a breath and blinks and in the split second he does his eyes seem ready to roll into the back of his head, fantastic.]

Dorian’s absence has already been. Noted. For those of you who don’t know, Dorian took his own life to be rid of those mirages. He’d come back from the dead before. Assumed he would this time. He hasn’t. And this is not the first time an imPort never made that particular return trip.

[He looks past the camera expectantly. E tu, Frede.]

Walter White.

Freddie Lounds.

Abel Gideon. [A deadened beat follows.] I think, I mean. Actually I do not know for sure, but we suspect. Probably.

It’s the most likely explanation. [Super casual about all this.] Yuri Petrov, too — though he returned several months later. There may be others no one is aware of.

Our point being, one should not take death so lightly, even while we stand in our elevated state as imPorts. [Another, more strained beat.] Anything else, Will?

[He takes a moment to think, lips out in a somewhat comical shape considering the...context.]
We’ve had something of a rash of murders reported, only natives as far as we know. We’d like to encourage everyone to be careful and, if you see something suspicious, don’t act unless you know what you’re doing. We don’t always come back. If things go badly, there is no promise of return. Just some...food for thought.

[He smiles, finally, for the first time since Chilton began filming, though it doesn’t look especially happy.]
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 10TH, 2017
Beware the Ides of March! That day is coming up, and with the sudden imPlosion of guilt and regret, you can't tell what someone under duress is bound to do to you just to clean their own soul.

WHAT IS TREND CANNOT DIE
As seen in high fashion magazines, seen on TMI and imPort! Entertainment:
The world of American fashion has turned its eyes to Florida-based design house, House of De Marq, upon announcing a new design label STORMBORN X MARQ in collaboration with imPort, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen. "We are very excited and honored to be working creatively with Queen Daenerys," was reported in the House of De Marq's official press release this morning. "We shall navigate the liminal spaces of unreality through fashion, and seek inspiration beyond the parameters of the mundane. We shall create a storm of fantasy and fabulousity." Notoriously elusive head designer De Marq, who could not be reached for further comment, has taken to Bwitter, posting blurry images of model fittings, landscapes, and obscure selfies with the hashtags such as #EYEOFTHESTORM, #FASHIONANDBLOOD, #UNBURNTUNTAMED.

The label will contain high end evening wear and jewelry, along with ready-to-wear fashion for professional women, inspired by De Marq's Westerosi muse.

Daenerys, most noted for her social media presence and fashion commentary in imPort entertainment, spoke enthusiastically for the label's future. "There will be a launch announced later this month, I believe, previewing collections to come. Proceeds will go towards Through The Glass, a nonprofit organisation that provides low-income women with professional attire and other career advancement services. Donations towards such a noble endeavour are most welcome."

EAT THE WOO'D
As seen on TMI, THEMport Weekly, and imTV:
Sources are reporting that long-time imPort couple Frederick Chilton and Raina are engaged. Post-Valentine's pictures of Raina reveal her wearing what is definitely a diamond ring. After nearly two years of waiting, fans of the couple can only speculate how truly romantic the proposal was.

"Chilton's had years now to plan it out. I bet he serenaded her with a song written by Rincewind. Because Rincewind's like a bard or something, isn't he? Like, a really sad bard?" One such fan wrote on Bwitter. Others responded that in fact Rincewind was flutist.

And while the fan response to this news was overwhelmingly positive and supportive of the couple, there were a few outcries from disappointed Marchill and Raintess fans. It's no secret the two couples are close, and during the rocky period, Raina was reportedly staying at the Hotel Castile. This led fans to draw their own (often lascivious) conclusions. Both pairings have a small, but highly devoted fanbase.

But no matter which ship you sail, one thing can be certain. Raina has changed her FaceLook status from 'It's Complicated' to 'In a loving relationship.' And we certainly wish Raina and Frederick Chilton all the best. Perhaps we will end 2017 with yet another imPort wedding!

HEARTS AND RECREATION
As seen in entertainment news magazines:
MULTIVERSAL PICTURES' first movie based on imPorts, THE WORLD IS ENOUGH, which revolves around the romantic story of married imPorts April Ludgate and Will Graham, held a stern lead at the box office for the first two weeks of its release. Critics are torn, some reporting it's good popcorn-eating fun, others calling it "too focused on the romance, not enough using super cool powers."

The usage of animals in this film has caused minor controversy as well, surprising no one. FORTY SHADES OF OCHER, the highly anticipated sequel to THIRTY HUES OF BLOOD ORANGE proved the only other movie audiences cared to see enough to knock it down to second. It's now performing in third, just below FUNIONS, the kid's film about Funyuns who function in a minion-like role.
Due to this success, MULTIVERSAL PICTURES has announced they are looking into more imPorts with stories worth putting on screen, and there has been talk of adapting events and imPort tales for the small screen as well. Keep an eye out!

THE RED SETTING
As seen in local news:
It's here, it's there, it's everywhere: "bElish". That's the name you will see scrawled across the roads and sidewalks of Maurtia Falls, spray-painted in vibrant maroon and brick hues. Looks like there's a new vandal in town, and he (or she) is going to paint the town red. Is this an homage to Ambassador Baelish? A challenge? Is there a deeper meaning?

WEATHER OR NOT
As seen on the Weather Channel:
Hold onto your hats, De Chima! On Saturday, March 11th you were be witness to a totally bizarre tornado just outside the city limits. This has literally never happened before in recorded history.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MAROON to GLITTER because Mabel Pines would have wanted it that way.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

Video

Mar. 10th, 2017 11:55 am
stretchy_girl: (blonde guise: rearranging)
[personal profile] stretchy_girl

[Before hitting the button to broadcast Gemini takes a moment to rearrange her face, sculpting it into someone a little more innocent. Glasses, check, nervous smile, check, and she's ready to go.]

Um hi everyone! I uh...I'm Sarah Rainsford and I've just arrived here, here being Maurtia Falls specifically. It's a little overwhelming to suddenly be in a whole new world all alone without any friends, but I guess I'll manage. I've been given a nice job and a home so it can't be all bad right? [A weak smile, blah blah blah, there's nothing else she needs to say to establish her pseudo-character, so on to the important stuff, finding out who here might be a threat to her.]

I just wanted to know if there's anyone out there from my own world. I'm from a city called Metropolis, has anyone heard of that? Maybe Gotham? Although that's not a very nice place, but it would be kinda nice to talk to anyone from home.

[Now to see which fishes come and bite at the bait she's dangled for them.]
pyrogue: (suits are for squares)
[personal profile] pyrogue
[ On screen is a very shirtless Mick wearing nothing but a pair of tight black yoga pants with red stripes down the side with the letters "BODY HEAT" running up one side and a towel around his neck. He's gotten an assistant to hold the comm. He's feeling very cold right now, actually, so he speaks just a bit faster than he normally would to get this over with. ]

Dunno how many of you know who I am, but I'm Mick Rory. I do a workout show called "BODY HEAT!" as a yoga instructor -- [ He smiles wryly in a "yeah, I know" sort of way. ] -- and we're doing something special starting in a coupla days. We want some guest stars to come on board and film a few episodes with me.

No yoga experience required either. Think of it as a free lesson -- that you get paid for. Just make sure to bring water. Gotta keep hydrated 'cause it's gonna get pretty warm. But that ain't so bad in February, right?

[ Mick is fine with it all year round, but he's aware that not everybody's into it. ]

On top of that, it's being tied into a charity drive to raise money for the Heropa General Hospital's Burn Ward. And since September we've gotta whole lot of new folks who have fire-breathing on us, it kinda needs it.

[ And a particular pet cause of Mick's, considering his background. But he's not advertising that part. He smiles again. ]

Any imPort's free to sign up, unless their name is Leonard Snart.

((OOC: This is more of an informal thing but def let me know if your character would get involved and if so if you'd prefer to handwave or log something about it, I'm totally good either way.))

02 | video

Feb. 13th, 2017 07:43 pm
lovestoys: (i am perfect)
[personal profile] lovestoys
Yo, whauppppp party people!

[Axel is currently chilling out on his bed in just his undies because that's how he rolls. Truly he's a sight to admire. Or he thinks he is, given he's bare chesting it on the network. He's been working on his chest lately so behold the slow beginnings of muscle definition.

He might be an awful person but at least his undies are cute? Little duckies are totally manly pant-wise. Fight him.]


While I got an audience, I think it's time we all talked shop a little. Cause it's that time of the year for love and making connections so let's. Man to man. And, I guess, man to woman too. Now, I ain't saying I have any trouble in this area but I'm a little curious, just for arguments sake, what kinda techniques do you guys like to pull hot chicks? I'm talking A grade babes.

[Yes, hot chicks. He knows how to score 'below his belt', that's easy! He uses a wonderful mix of gently breaking them down and implying he's the best they can do.

He wants to get model level here. It's what a terrible dumpster goblin like him deserves - a sexy babe.]


That isn't all neither. Cause I'm like a total a feminist so I wanna hear from hot chicks too. Their side of things. [Cause he totally thinks this is a great way to bait them all out. Yes, yes, come to him, hot chicks. Admire how forward thinking and not at all gross and awful he is.] Like how'd you like a guy to romance you? What's your favourite move? How best can I get you horny? You know, the important stuff. Just how firm should a slap on the ass be cause, you know, guys don't know that kind of thing. We rarely get to experience that side of things unless we're like, you know, flaming or something.

[He shrugs his shoulders and leans back, grinning brightly.] Gimme something good and I'll share some of my moves. I got some good ones. I got a move called 'The Piper' that'll blow your mind.

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