pyrogue: (hair follicles elude local man)
[personal profile] pyrogue
Hey everybody, Mick here.

[ The bald man on camera is trying to be friendly but there's a part of him that's just wary -- he didn't want to have to do this but it's been a bit too long. ]

First off, if you know anybody that's hiring, lemme know. Been looking for a new job and can't really get one in the same line of work as my last one. Can't really blame 'em.

Before I came here I did lots of different kinda work but you can't really put it on a resume. Who d'you call for references? But I figured imPorts might be a bit more understanding so I'm including my previous work experience. I can include my "official" resume if you want, this is just the stuff I left out.

[ And he includes a text attachment: ]

- Fire-eater
- General labor at a Matchsticks Factory
- Production worker at a Glassworks Factory
- Superhero understudy at Cadmus Labs
- FBI anti-Rogue consultant
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[personal profile] gentrify
[ It's only a voice that erupts over the network - clearly male, and deeply accented in what most could probably tell is Chicagoan, and if not, at least Northern and urban. That, and not terribly impressed with the state of things. ]

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to use your limited amount of magic teleporting knick-knacks to link up to three bumfuck goddamn nowhere towns in Shitsville, Fuckyou Falls, and De Bullshit, USA? [ He only remembered the 'Falls' and the 'De' part, okay, he's improvising. You know what he means. ] I never even heard of these backwater trash dumps. They're probably run by hillbilly cannibals, and you know anything that ends is 'Falls' is gonna be a place where you lure dipshit teenagers to get the fuck murdered outta them, then probably stitched into a nasty skin sweater for ol' Billy Bob Psycho to wear to the family reunion, like that's gotta be horror movie law by now, anyone feel me on that?

[ Like 'Silent Hill', anything that sounds like it would make a nice landscape portrait is probably, most definitely, trying to kill you. That's what pop culture has taught Mickey, and he's sticking to his ghetto, thank you very much. At least no one there is a cannibal. Well, outwardly. ]

No one thought of, I dunno, New York? LA? Chicago? [ emphasis there, because that's the one he's really missing. ] Any of those places people actually give at least two almost-flaming fucks about? I dunno, maybe four, maybe some of you assholes have an excess of fucks to spread around, good for you, 'cause I'm all outta them at this point.

[ You can hear a snort, and it's easy to imagine Mickey shaking his head on the other end of the line. A brief pause, a reprieve from Mickey's stream of profane consciousness, and the last bit comes more sobered, almost bored. ]

That said, who do you gotta blow around here to get a lift to Chicago? I know a hot, ginger twink lookin' to arrange some travel plans.

Also got like a suitcase full'a knives up for trade. Hit me up.

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