akito: agito hospital annoyed (pic#8980593)
[personal profile] akito
[ today, agito has learned two very important facts: 1) ducklings are stupid and imprint on things way too quickly, and 2) that birds cannot reverse-imprint on things. ]


Oi
What the fuck do you name a couple of ducks?
Like
2 ducks.

'Peking' has already been vetoed
helladoomed: (Deep motherfuckin' thoughts.)
[personal profile] helladoomed
[It's a little after noon when Chloe turns her communicator on. She's sitting on an old white plastic deck chair, and from the look of the buildings behind her, probably on a roof somewhere in Nonah. She's in a worn old white tanktop with a skull on the front, her jeans-covered legs propped up on something, her coat hanging off the back of her chair. She's spent the morning avoiding people, not answering her texts, just...brooding. There's a cigarette between her lips, and she takes a drag off it before she catches it with her other hand, her attention mostly on the phone.]

You ever think about time 'n shit? Like, how it hella doesn't make any sense here? Like, okay, back home, before I wound up here, it was 2013 right? In October.

[She leans back in her chair, resting the phone on her leg, tilted up so all the screen really catches is her face and neck and the clouds.]

Suddenly I'm here, it's three years and a couple months later. Just, wham, welcome to the future except it's a weird fucked up cold war version of the future. And I get like, it's way worse for other people, right? Pulled from other centuries or other fuckin' planets with their own weird-ass calendars but.

Three years.

[She's not even really sure what she's going on about, honestly. She'd been puzzling this over in her head all morning and hadn't gotten anywhere, so maybe she thought rambling out loud would help. It wasn't really working.]

So here we are, right? March 11th, 2016. Shit had gone different, I'd be twenty-two today.

[She hesitates, her gaze distant, up on the clouds as she took another puff off her cigarette.]

Instead, I guess I'm twenty. Sort of. Minus a couple months. Still my birthday though. [And then she smirks, pointing the two fingers holding her cigarette at the sky.] Fuck you, universe. Chloe Price made it to twenty after all.

[She scooped up the phone again, and for a second is framed in the picture again, the camera half-covered by her thumb as she reaches for the disconnect. Her voice is quieter again.]

Didn't see that comin'.

[Click.]
alcheregis: (entangled between electric wires)
[personal profile] alcheregis
[ Haen's smiling with a rather pleased look on the video today, even though the general air isn't something most people are smiling about lately. Which is why... ]

My dears, I just want to give you all a heads up! Although your heads can really be in any position you'd like, so long as you give me a little listen. I can't say I really enjoy these guests of ours, so I've decided to make them feel a bit more unwelcome. Not my usual attitude, I know, but I really think they're just overstepping a bit too much!

So don't be surprised if you see them feeling a just a touch under the weather starting any time now. I'm actually rather proud of the recipe I've put together! A little encephalitis, some single stranded ribonucleic acid, just a pinch of Yersinia pestis!

[ For those of you who are wondering why that sounds familiar: yes, she did just name the bacterial strain responsible for the bubonic plague, among others. ]

It really is a lot like cooking, actually. Too much salt spoils the soup... is it salt, that saying refers to? I mean, really too much of anything would spoil soup. Although I suppose soup might be easier to recover than, say, a cake or something.

Oh! And I also tweaked a bit for their melanocytes, so you'll be easily able to tell who's already infected, and that you should probably avoid them. They're going to have bright orange splotches on their skin, impossible to miss, really. Well, I suppose if you were blind, you might miss them... or colour-blind. Hmm, I didn't think of that. Well, for next time!

Now if you do happen to be an inattentive silly and catch this, I want you to drink lots of milk! It's good for bones, and it'll also work well for the symptoms. Has to do with the amount of thiamine-- oh, you might know that as vitamin B1. Anyway, drink lots of milk, it'll help you feel better. But please don't tell that to our guests, I'd rather them find out only once they've gone back home!

That's really all I wanted to let you all know about, dears.

---

((OOC: All the information for this can be found here, including a full list of symptoms and information on opting-in if you'd like your character to be affected! Happy plaguing~))
assassinate: (Default)
[personal profile] assassinate
[ rose is kind of over the whole russia vs the usa situation. but she's making most of what she's been given, at least the weather in mexico was a nice change of pace. ]

Sheesh, things here are such a snoozefest!
What's a girl supposed to do to cut loose?
I come from one place, adjust to another, then get shoved off to a completely different place!
It's like I've been playing musical chairs!
Anyway, would really appreciate some sweet suggestions on stuff tourists normally do here.

And does anyone know what a super sheltered princess would like doing? Or eating?
I'm pretty sure she's not used to munching on anything that isn't prepared by a maid.

Thanks for all the help! Ciao.


filtered to mikleo and sorey )
stealwithit: (058)
[personal profile] stealwithit
[ Good evening, Masks and Menaces. Tonight, you will be treated (or possibly, weirded out or perplexed) by a video feed of a ~mysterious~ hooded woman, sitting at some dimly lit place with her elbow resting on a table and her chin resting on her hand. She's not looking at the camera directly -- she rarely ever does, because she's obviously too cool for that, but she does have the slightest hint of a smile across her lips. ]

So, I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I figured at this point, anything's fair game.

--and no, I'm not here to read more smutty literature out loud. A girl's gotta have some secrets.

[ said resident secret enigma lady of mystery, Kasumi Goto. ]

Anyway, to all the newbies: welcome. I don't know what you all have been told about this place so far by other people, but all I can really contribute is that it's a wild ride, being here. You may inquire below for more details if you so wish.

To the rest of us: happy new year. And I do mean that sincerely, despite the terrible start we've been off to, so far. I want to say that maybe we'll get a lull again, like we have the other times that something truly offensive has happened -- but word on the street is that the Russians are yelling angrily about something, so I kind of doubt that's going to be the case.

For now, let's just all try to relax, alright? I'm pretty sure stress is bad for your complexion.

... Also, fun fact, but I-- [ she sighs. So maybe she didn't really mean to make this post to address the general masses, because who does that? But because she's so Conflicted about the Worst (or Best?) Anniversary Ever that she needs. Something. Drinks. People to feel all bitter and/or nostalgic with. Mostly she doesn't want to be alone. ]

You know what, I've been here a year, as of today. Officially. So...

I think I speak for most of us -- whether it's because all the pandemonium [ get it? ] has got you needing a little pick-me-up, or because you've also just realized you've been stuck here for a year -- when I say: I need a drink. Or soul food. Or both. I guess that's what I really meant by relax. Let's see if we can actually enjoy something around here, for once. Maybe have a do-over of New Year's?

What're the best bars and food joints around the Porter cities? I've got my favorites picked out, mostly in Heropa and Nonah, but I'm always open to new experiences.

[ come party with space thief, y/n? ]

voice;

Jan. 9th, 2016 02:56 pm
whathawksdo: (all)
[personal profile] whathawksdo
[ How long has it been? About eight days? Nine? Since Hawke had been minding her own business on an errand in Heropa. Eight whole days of total radio silence from her, save for the unfortunate few who ran afoul of her in Pan's jungle. Of which at least one or two was likely not expecting to hear from her again and yet... ]

Word of advice to those who don't realize this, but if you do kill another imPort, try not to bury them.

[ She sounds absolutely haggard, voice scratchy and dry and short on breath altogether. Since, hey, you try being dead and buried for a few days and come out sounding just fine, okay? ]

Because, surprise, we do come back! And clawing your way out of your own grave? You don't even want to know... how inconvenient that is. I could go on forever and ever, but...

[ How about she just doesn't, instead? It's only a weak attempt to make light of it, not a real offer to expand upon. ]

video;

Dec. 28th, 2015 10:07 am
munies: (o35)
[personal profile] munies
[ there's some color in Teresa's cheeks when she turns on the feed, despite how hard she's working to keep a straight face. she's quick to start talking, because of this ]

Hello, my name is Teresa, and for my one-year anniversary of my arrival here, I would just like to make one very important announcement.

[ she huffs a breath through her nose, mouth pressing into a thin line. she can do this, she can. she can be a graceful loser. this is Teresa being a graceful loser. when she opens her mouth again, she's not really shouting, or singing, it's some kind of weird mix. she only learned this song like 2 minutes ago okay ]

Pizza in the morning!
Pizza in the evening!
Pizza at supper time!
When pizza's on a bagel,
you can eat PIZZA anytime!



[ and now her cheeks are dark red, and her eyes totally narrow when a muffled laugh starts up from off camera. gdi wally west. ]

Thank you.

[ click ]
boneitis: (We are the kings and queens of fortune)
[personal profile] boneitis
[If there had ever been a reason to cut Joker off from alcohol forever, it is now.]

[When the feed clicks on, it's fairly obvious that he's in a bar-- there's a certain bar-like quality to the area behind him, which is what fills most of the screen. He's apparently not very good at aiming when he's at this stage of stupid drunk, and he's pointing the camera mostly at about half his hat.]

[Ladies and gentleman, this man helped save the galaxy.]


So, y'know what?

[No, but he's going to tell everyone, regardless of whether they want to know.]

The video equivalent of shitposting. )

video;

Dec. 11th, 2015 08:49 pm
rideme: (a shiny Cattle-lac)
[personal profile] rideme
[And here we have the Iron Bull, holding his communicator like he's taking a selfie. But it's a video feed instead. He's... out in the wilderness somewhere. Dragging a tree in one hand. There also happens to be mistletoe strung between his horns.]

[Behind him is Kaneda. Holding the other end of the tree, covered liberally in pine needles and bits of pinecones and other dead leaves. He looks like he's having a bad time.]


So. I heard you're supposed to bring trees inside for this holiday crap.

[He shakes the tree in his hand. Unfortunately for Kaneda. Who gets jerked to one side, swearing liberally at Bull.]

Check this one out. We got it all on our own. No one else was even out here!

[That's because you're in the forest, Bull.]



((ooc: Kaneda and Bull will both be responding.))
htespagheti: (Default)
[personal profile] htespagheti
( If you want to read this entry without Papyrus font, it is HERE. If you would like to opt out of Papyrus font for your threads, it is HERE. )

YOU KNOW... I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS AN INTERIOR DECORATOR... BUT THE MORE I DO IT... THE MORE I AM FINDING IT MAY BE MY CALLING. EVERY CLIENT IS SATISFIED... I KNOW, BECAUSE THEY STARE IN SILENCE AT THE BEAUTY I HAVE UNLOCKED IN THEIR ROOM...

IT'S SO EASY! ALL I DO IS MAKE THEIR ROOM AS COOL AS I AM. A TRUE GENTLEMAN'S LOUNGE. WHERE YOU CAN PUT UP YOUR FEET AND RELAX. AND ENJOY THE EXORBITANTLY EXPENSIVE FIRE EFFECTS THAT I HAVE INSTALLED.

SO!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE DECIDED!!!!!!!!!!! TO OFFER........ A HOLIDAY DISCOUNT TO ALL OF YOU, MY FRIENDS! IF WE AREN'T FRIENDS....... BECOME MY FRIEND! 50% OFF!!!!!!!!! LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!!!!!!!!! (I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS WILL END).

BELOW UNDER THE """CONTENT CUT""" I HAVE PLACED TWO OF MY LATEST SUCCESSES FOR YOU TO PERUSE! SEE IF YOU LIKE THEM! REMEMBER: PAPYRUS' DECORATING.


look guys you click this at your own risk )
shuckit: (pic#8445012)
[personal profile] shuckit
So, Eating Day.

[ this is important. this is the most important post he has ever made, okay? so important that he's making it from the cheeseburger bed he lives in at La Casa Ludgate-Graham. ]

I mean, Thanksgiving, right? The one where everyone makes shuck-tons of food and then spends all day stuffing their face?

[ #amnesiac problems. that, and, no one really had a lot to celebrate in the world he came from, so it wasn't really a topic that came up while, you know, hordes of cranks were swarming. ]

What's that about? Besides eating. If it's just about eating, that's fine, that's great, actually. [ says the kid happily sitting in a giant cheeseburger ] But I keep seeing klunk with turkeys and little people in weird hats and black shorts and I figure I shouldn't just go around stupid to the whole thing.

[ it's been a year. he's only saying this now. ]

Anyway, besides that, is anyone doing something for it? Last year there were a lot of different parties, and the city did a thing too, I think? Seemed like a pretty cool holiday.

[ about to sign off, but something else occurs to him, and he adds on: ] Also, anyone know how to go about getting a name change here?

video;

Nov. 7th, 2015 08:28 pm
rideme: (Happy Moo Year boss)
[personal profile] rideme
See this fish?

[Bull what--]

[Okay, before that question can be answered, or even asked, the camera swings around to show off a hideous, flopping salmon. Then it swings around to look at Bull again. He's grinning.]


It's going to be a dragon.

[And the camera whips around again, showing off a fountain-slash-waterfall installation somewhere in Nonah. Bull is standing on one of the little raised platforms in the middle of the 'pond'. Holding the fish.]

And I'm gonna wrestle with it.

[Somewhere, off-screen, one can hear Kaneda's voice yelling:]

Oi! Jiji! That's not even a koi!

[Undaunted, the Iron Bull winds up... and flings the poor salmon at the waterfall. With literally no other explanation.]

((ooc: Kaneda and Bull will probably both answer.))

video

Oct. 29th, 2015 05:30 pm
wasnever: (Default)
[personal profile] wasnever
[Today on the network: a video starting with an extreme close-up of Sera's face.]

So, this Halloween thing--it's pretty new to me, though we do some things that are sorta similar in Thedas. I really like this holiday, though, and I really love some of the costumes I've seen. [She starts giggling.] Even I wouldn't've thought of making some of these things all sexed up. It's friggin' funny as hell!

Think I picked a good one?

[Sera then offers everyone a view of herself wearing the sexy corn costume.]

Really hard choice, though. Laughed my arse off the whole time I was trying to pick one. They look silly enough to go out and play hero in. [With a mischievous grin, she does her best dramatic announcer voice.] "And thus, the day was saved by Sexy Lobster."
alcheregis: (long migrations meet across)
[personal profile] alcheregis
[ Haen is enjoying a coffee or something (those who've spoken with her, will probably shudder at the thought of her having caffeine) and the bustle of a cafe is visible in the background. The redhead is smiling widely, pleased to make a proper public network post for the first time since her arrival. ]

Hello, imPort dears! I have an offer to make to you today, so lend me your ears~ but don't actually lend them, I have a set of my own and they work perfectly well, not to mention if you need glasses those would be quite the challenge to have sitting on your face without any ears. You could manage, I assume, but I'm not sure it'd be worth the hassle.

Oh, I should probably introduce myself first, before my offer. Unless you don't care who the offer comes from, in which case, just hold on tight for a moment, I'll get right back to what I was saying. Although if you're holding someone's hand, or anything that's soft like a fruit, don't hold too tightly, because you'll make a mess. Metaphorical or literal mess, your choice.

So! My name is Haen, and in my world I'm what is called a genessi!

...cut for length because she talks. a lot. )
boneitis: (Composed now of beautiful idiots)
[personal profile] boneitis
[Did anyone ever really want a selfie-style shot of Joker’s asshole face when they got on the network? No? Too bad, because it’s there.]

Hi there, boys and girls. Guess what time it is?

[Time for everyone to fucking leave if they know what’s good for them. If you’re still here, godspeed, brave soul. You’re in for a wild ride from start to finish.]

Hey, Kasumi, tell ‘em. Tell ‘em what we’ve got.

[Anyone watching might become slightly seasick as the camera swings away from Joker and over to Kasumi. The hooded woman gives the camera a grin--the kind that someone has when they’re up to no good, like a kid who just stole something from the candy store. (She may actually have stolen something from a store today.) She holds up a paperback novel in her hands.]

We’ve got… this work of art. A masterpiece, honestly. And we’re going to share it with you all because we care.

[She tosses the book over to Joker without warning--but, you know, gently--and takes the camera. Let’s all just hope he doesn’t fracture his fingers trying to catch the damn thing. Note the bottle(s) of wine, and an empty box of pizza on the table as the video focuses on him.]

[He barely makes the catch, fumbling it a little because he’d been in the process of reaching for a glass when she’d thrown it. They are absolutely real adults and there’s no way he’d make it through this whole thing without wine and pizza.]

Seriously, though, this thing is a work of freaking brilliance. It should win all the awards. Every award, ever.

[Joker opens the book to a specially marked page.]

You guys ready for this? Because you’re not. There’s nothing in your life that would’ve ever prepared you for this shit.

Dick Attack! )
rathercommon: (startled (in a bad way))
[personal profile] rathercommon
So -

[ Okay. So this is some found-footage shakycam stuff right here. Kitty Jones is staring into the camera with eyes wide with alarm. Her voice is squeaky and nervous. Her hair is mussed. Her shirt is wet.

Don't ask how her shirt got wet. ]


So, erm, Billy and I were doing a little bit of a spell to make latrines self-regulating and it sort of went a little bit wrong and now toilets are sort of coming to life? So, erm - Oh, no, oh, look out, look out -

[ She swings around. The camera catches one William Kaplan, Center of All Magic In The Universe, with his hands lit up, struggling valiantly against a toilet that's pried itself up from its floorboards and is now clomp-clomp-clomping towards him on its base. With a flash, it's shattered into shards of porcelain; Kitty ducks, shielding her head. ]

Oh, not that one, too...

[ She turns back to the camera. ]

We - think that this magic is going to be radiating outwards. So everyone check your loo, but check really really carefully. I can come and undo it - if I touch them, they'll go quiet - but just be careful. Toilets, port-a-potties, outhouses, all of them, they're all hostile. Stay safe, and oh God make sure that you've flushed before you try to fight them, please make sure you've flushed.



[ ooc: So this is the post regarding the miniplot referenced here! Feel free to have your characters' toilets come to life. Kitty's warning is not completely correct: toilets will treat your character as they themselves have been treated. If your character has been neglectful of their toilet, doesn't clean, flushes cigarettes down it, buys super-cheap toilet paper, etc., then the toilet will be vengeful and wrathful. However, if your character treats their toilet well, keeps it clean and maintains it well, then the commodes will be as loyal and affectionate as golden retrievers.

Alternatively, have your characters' toilets not come to life because this plot is (as they say) very crappy. ]

voice;

Sep. 12th, 2015 12:00 pm
malodorous: <user name="hikaranko"> (life sucks then you die)
[personal profile] malodorous
Soo... I've been back home before. About a year ago, I vanished from this place for a month before coming back. I only spent a few hours in Arendelle, but a lot happened, and I guess I just... I was wondering if it's possible for things that you've already experienced to go different ways for different people.

I don't know if that makes sense. It's one of those things that would sound insane basically anywhere else, so it's hard to tell what's realistic and actually possible.

For the sake of clarity, uh-- Just. Something important happened, in Arendelle, and it saved somebody's life, and I just want to know that it can't undo itself. I can't see from here, from right now, so... I don't know. It's been bugging me.

text;

Aug. 27th, 2015 11:43 pm
112ounces: (blackbird song is over now)
[personal profile] 112ounces
[ Carl would be lying if he said the gas didn't fucked him up. It gave him nightmares, he couldn't sleep, he felt like he lost something back there with the terrified crowd. Whatever sense of not feeling safe he always had ever since coming here has just amplified, like he's living back in his world now.

The things he used to distract him is not working any more. Job hunting only frustrated Carl, as his aversion with large groups of people has only gotten worse.

So he gotta do something about it. He has gotten some help on the network, some good suggestions. Good start as any. ]


I got some quick questions.

1) What hobbies do you have that's cheap and easy to do? I'm getting bored with origami.

2) What are the kind of jobs that is good for not interacting a lot of people? I don't think being in large crowds is going to work for me anymore.

Thanks for any suggestions.

003; audio

Aug. 27th, 2015 10:21 pm
bestever: (SULK; not saying that this dude is me)
[personal profile] bestever
Christ, I can't believe our stupid shitty lives managed to get more complicated.

[he clears his throat, for whatever. reason.] Alright, listen up. I can barely keep track of idiots that aren't also paranoid spies, so at this point, I... Kind of have no idea how many agents are bouncing around this trash heap. So, here's what we're going to do. If the words Project Freelancer mean anything to you, or Covenant, or MJOLNIR, or anything like that? I want you to chip in.

And when you do, you're gonna tell me about the last thing you remember happening. I don't care what planet it was on, or... Not on.

Oh, and I reserve the right to make these little reports private. The last thing that happened to you might just so happen to be, uh. Sensitive information.

[a long exhale, and an rhythmless tapping.] Phew. Alright. If none of that applies to you, you might still be useful. I need as much information as I can get on discrepancies in... Time? God, this is such bullshit. Look, I just need to know about people from the same reality or whatever, but different points in time. Like, is that the norm? There's got to be some kind of pattern to it.

video

Aug. 26th, 2015 03:34 pm
mightthinkthat: Ian Richardson posing in front of parliament. (commanding)
[personal profile] mightthinkthat
[Francis is outside, looking like he's just a bit done. Not a hundred percent, but a bit irked all the same.] If anyone would be so kind as to help remove a rather large reptile? [He adjusts the camera angle to show off the gila monster before returning it to himself.] Better yet, whoever put it there in the first place. 

I wouldn't mind, normally. [Which is perfectly true. Sleeping lizards, albeit giant ones, aren't all that much trouble.] But it's in the way of traffic, which is awkward. [Understatement. He's getting practice of the hypnotism power, but that's a little tiring for everyone.]  

[Private to Ray Kowalski]

Oh, and on another topic, I've investigated into your residency issue. If you have the time to talk?

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maskormenace

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