5 [Video]

May. 1st, 2017 10:12 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871602)
[personal profile] ret2go
[The camera has clearly been set up on some sort of stand, facing a rather nondescript storefront that would be utterly unremarkable if not for the various streamers and ribbons somewhat haphazardly strung up on the front. A girl with far too much hair has her face right up in the screen, frowning intently at it as she fiddles with the settings; she goes in and out of focus.] Why does this always have to be so complicated...?

[Satisfied at last, she steps back.] Heelloooooooo everybody! Have you ever had a wish that deep down you really wanted to come true? Don't lie, we know you have!

Well, wish no longer! [She pauses for a moment.] I mean, keep on wishing, but... but you don't have to wish for the--

--anyway, your wishes can come true here at Shantae's Wish Palace! For a modest fee, we can grant your wishes three! Oh hey, that rhymed.

Visit us downtown today! Now hiring lawyers and, uh, suggestions for a better name. We're workshopping it.

[She takes a deep breath.] Notallwishesaregrantabletheuseofthisserviceisuptogeniediscretioncustomerscannotwishformorewishesor [she gasps for air] for more genies. Darn, I almost had it!

4 [Video]

Mar. 14th, 2017 01:00 am
ret2go: (pic#10928311)
[personal profile] ret2go
[Shantae is lounging back in a chair, surrounded by what seems to be... paperwork? Her very long hair is somehow done up in a braid, which even still comes down to the small of her back. She's got a pen in her hand.]

So... hypothetically, if someone wanted to start a business here, how would they do it? 'Cuz back home in Scuttle Town, it's easy. You just need to buy space for it, or a stall, or whatever, and you need to have something to sell, and boom! You've got a business.

But here you have to fill out... forms. And I don't get this stuff at all.

I want to meet the person who invented paperwork and stuff his head in a fish pond. [A pause.] And then let him out, but that dunk would be reaaaaally satisfying...

3 [Voice]

Feb. 10th, 2017 05:28 pm
ret2go: (pic#10928311)
[personal profile] ret2go
I'm kinda bored. Anyone want to go dancing?

Where are there good places to dance around here anyway? There was that crazy show with the weird loud "E D M" [can you hear the fingerquotes] music last month, but that's not happening all the time, right?

There aren't any dance halls or anything like that like there were back home.

Text 01

Feb. 3rd, 2017 06:52 pm
beautiful_monster: ([p] Who leaked this picture >()
[personal profile] beautiful_monster
Are these jobs the Americans give out for real? I thought after school coaches were all volunteers. Are people really going to pay for that?

Another question: what's the deal with America and Russia? Kind of doubt I'm going to get a straight answer out of these two.


[There's an image attached to the message—a candid shot of a pair of shameless lovebirds. Yurio can be seen at the very edge of the image looking decidedly unimpressed with them. Don't they know there are serious issues to discuss??]
unbreaker: (095)
[personal profile] unbreaker
Alright, I need a little help.

[Josuke is quick to the point when he addresses the network today. He may be at home, wrapped comfortably in a fuzzy blue throw blanket patterned with white stars and appearing for all the world like he's refusing to budge from his position on Heropa #004's couch, but he's nevertheless a man on a mission.]

See, I've got this friend...

[Ah, there it is. The reason for this Saturday afternoon interruption.

Josuke's even kind enough to include a picture! One he likely printed off his phone, but at least the face of one Ken Kaneki, blushing and embarrassed for some reason, is visible for all to see!]


...you probably all know him, so you know he's the kinda guy who worries more about other people than he does himself! And with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, it'd be a real shame if someone as smart, kind, and good-looking as Ken spent the day all by himself, right?

Which is where you guys come in!

[As he sits up, Josuke drops the TV remote off his lap and inevitably unmutes the television set in the room which...seems to be playing some kind of telenovela? Sure, why not. At least we know where he got this wild idea from.

After a moment of scrambling to mute that again, because Spanish expletives and jealous screaming is a little distracting, Josuke continues...]


I gotta find Ken a date!

[Because that's what good friends do.]

Or better yet, a bunch of dates! Because you can't find the one if you don't put yourself out there. So, which of you lucky people wants to sign up for an all-expenses-paid evening of fun with one of America's finest?

Come on, don't be shy!

2 [Video]

Jan. 22nd, 2017 10:27 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871603)
[personal profile] ret2go
That whole thing was a pain in the butt. I hope that's not a regular occurrence...

[The girl with the pointy ears and purple hair heaves a very audible sigh.] --right, though, that's besides the point! I had a question.

If you could wish for anything, anything at all, what would it be? Just out of curiosity. There's no real reason for me asking, uh, just wondering!

[Shantae is a bad liar.]

1 [Video]

Jan. 7th, 2017 06:49 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871607)
[personal profile] ret2go
[When the camera comes on, all you see is a very large face; it's also upside-down. The person on the other end blinks, turning the device around, peering closely at it. She doesn't seem to realize that she's turned it on.] Why do I feel like that if I shake this thing too hard, it's going to blow up in my face?

[She pulls it back, and though the image is still upside-down, it's now clear that the face belongs to a young woman wearing an outfit resembling a bedlah. Oh, and the curtain of purple behind her? It's her hair, and there's a lot of it.] I... don't think I should trust something this small that talks. How the heck does it even work? There's no dynamo or steam generator or anything like that.

And it doesn't feel magic. [She leans back in, and audibly sniffs the device.] Doesn't smell magic, either. Boy, Uncle Mimic would have a field day with this thing.

...hey, that red light wasn't always on the front, was it? What the heck does "recording" mean?

[And realization.] Ah, crud.

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