deadkord: (Is it possible it just needs salt?)
[personal profile] deadkord
Important question:

Do birthdays still count if you're dead and don't have Calendar Man hanging around reminding you of important dates anymore?





Asking for a friend.

VIDEO

Mar. 3rd, 2017 08:07 pm
khajidont: Made by me (Jaime - Threw up in the bugsuit again)
[personal profile] khajidont
[ Good evening, Mask or Menace! Jaime's back, and while he doesn't look any older, he certainly looks tired and a little sour to boot, like someone just fed him a nintendo switch cartridge real bitter pill. It was a long month. ]

So, um... hey! I'm back. That was definitely the longest I've been ported out for, but I gotta ask: what happened while I was gone? Because I got back, and all of a sudden, like, half of the people I know are gone. Dick's gone, Tadashi's gone again, Fuu's gone, Sarissa's gone, so's my Mom...

Was this just the Porter, or what?

[ It probably is - people tend to leave in waves - but it's left him feeling a little shellshocked, and it's worth searching for answers at the very least. He raises a hand to rub at the back of his neck, playing a little with the hair at the nape. ]

Um, anyway. Good to see you guys who are still here. And for all the newbies, I'm Jaime. Nice to meet you.

video;

Feb. 11th, 2017 09:05 pm
asoothingvoice: ([Neutral] Unsure)
[personal profile] asoothingvoice
[Bianca looks worried when the video starts, even as she glances out the kitchen window to the street.]

Hi everyone. For those of you that don't know me, I'm Bianca Reyes, I help out as a volunteer paramedic and work with the local hospital in Heropa's training program for first aid, CPR, and their EMT courses. If you're new, and if you don't have any sort of experience with this sort of thing, it's a good idea to take a course or two. If you can make it to Heropa, they're free for imPorts.

[She looks at out the street again, before shaking her head a bit and looking back at the camera.]

Finally, has anyone seen Jaime in the last few days? He normally checks in...
magnitudes: (pic#10936326)
[personal profile] magnitudes
( HI guys. This is Sarissa. Last time she was on the network she was wearing a ridiculous shirt and was even more ridiculously drunk, a shenanigan that involved yelling at people about art and being excessively poetic. It was a mess.

Now here is Sarissa, looking a lot more serious. Her hair is pulled back into a messy bun, is wearing a dark charcoal button down, and is entirely sober. )


Uh— hi. I’m Sarissa Theron. A few of you have already had the misfortune of speaking to me, in person or on here. Usually I’m pretty obnoxious, so—

( She frowns, and pauses. No, deflecting won’t work for this, and she rolls her shoulders to get herself to focus. )

Some of you might have heard by now that I was murdered. Twice, actually. The first time was just after Thanksgiving and the second time was at the tail end of that blackout we was all in a fluster about. I lied the first time around and said I didn’t know who killed me, because…

( Her gaze drops, for a moment. ) I was scared, mostly. Thought I was protecting the people I cared about, and I thought silence was the only way to do it, because the person I was protecting them from was - is - invulnerable. That kind of backfired, but. So— here I am.

His name is Sylar, but some of you might’ve met him as Gabriel Gray. He has a kind of… hunger, or an obsession, I guess, with collecting powers. That was why he killed me the first time around, so he could take a power of mine.

( She exhales, slowly, working herself up to the next bit. ) To be perfectly clear, he’s a fuckhead and he tried to hurt people I care about to make a game outta our lives. But I think— I think despite my visceral feelings about it, what’s more important than trying to take him apart is trying to get him help. Justice, obviously, he needs to take responsibility for what he did, but just— if you find him, and if you’re able to contain someone like him, don’t hurt him or... be shit, basically. Something happened, maybe, to make him how he is and vengeance and all that aren’t gonna help him get better, they’ll just give him more rage to run on. I figure enough of us around these parts are from heaps messed up worlds or have seen messed up shit to know what that’s like, in some way.

Anyway. I’m sorry I didn’t come out and say it sooner. If you have questions or that, I’ll answer them as good as I can.


( ooc: Sylar stuff is public knowledge as of the Majority report if you want your character to be a bit familiar with it. )

text;

Feb. 5th, 2017 05:04 pm
picksthenames: (are you sure about this?)
[personal profile] picksthenames
at the risk of being That Guy, i gotta ask: whats the deal with the job assignments for new imports? are they all jokes or is the universe just messing with me?

either way, im definitely in the market for something better. the government wasnt helpful enough to kidnap me with a resume or references on hand, so i guess youll just have to take my word for it, but here goes:

names Cisco Ramon, techspert extraordinaire. masters in engineering, second best coder on my earth. app writer, gear inventor, whatever you need. i can weld, i can solder, i can sew (leather, which let me tell you, is a bitch to work with). new to this earth so help a brother out and tell me where to look, or just offer me a job, thatd be great either way. shacked up in heropa but commutings easy with these porter things right?

so yeah. call me. been a while since i had to look for a new job, but im pretty sure my interview game is still on point.

LLAP. 🖖
anxiogenic: (Restful [AU])
[personal profile] anxiogenic
Friday the 13th. The most feared day and date in human history. Staying at home is recommended.

[His voice is a merry tone.]

Quite a date, isn't it? Triskaidekaphobia. Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Thirteen guests at a table. The 13th Baktun. The thirteenth floor being omitted in hotels where the number is considered unlucky.

But is today truly bad for your health? Let us examine the relationship between health, behaviour, and superstition.

[He pauses, purposefully. There's a gentle drop in the lightness of his tone.]

Tell me what you are doing today. Are you outside? Commuting to work? Shopping? Visiting friends? The risk of hospital admission may be increased by as much as 52%, you know.

[Said with a twist of sarcasm; but it ends with him speaking calmly.]

Now. Our time's up, but I'll leave you with advice. Think logically. Act rationally. And don't let the date control you.
exceptfebruary: close up shot of Calendar Man's eyes with have his face in shadow (Consult the Calendar)
[personal profile] exceptfebruary
January 6th, 2017. Epiphany. It has been one year since I was ported in. Happy anniversary.

[ Julian's voice is cool and calm, matter of fact and without emotion. ]

It has been quite a year, hasn't it. Soviet kidnapping. Occupation. Brainwashing. ImPorts being replaced by a version of themselves from an alternate timeline. Or from another point in time. Murders, monsters, memories, mayhem. [ He skims over the rest to get to the important part: ]

I was busy the past year. [ Now he sounds a little bit proud of himself. ] Leprechauns on St. Patrick's. Playing a prank on the capital on April Fool's. Stealing the Declaration of Independence on the Fourth of July. Improving Disney World's Halloween.

In December I decided to give back to the community. Christmas. Hanukkah. Yule. Kwanzaa. So many holidays based on giving. So for many of you, I gave on your behalf. I'm sure the people of this world enjoyed the donations selected from your own homes.

[Which basically means he just admitted to a few thefts. At least your stuff is in better hands now? ]

Now it is a new year. I hope many of you will follow your New Year's Resolutions. Don't give up on them early.

And it appears it's the season for new imPorts again. Welcome, newcomers. I hope this post gives you something to look forward to in the coming year.

Have a nice day.

TEXT;

Dec. 7th, 2016 11:09 am
blahblahboom: (neutral; i did nothing wrong)
[personal profile] blahblahboom
[Is this the first time Rita has used the network? It seems so. After emerging from her two month long research binge, she had gotten a bit bored and well...

She wouldn't normally ask for help from a bunch of strangers but...this was actually getting a bit out of hand.]


Anyone know how to stop a refrigerator from running without blowing it up?



[ And by running, she means it quite literally. MEANWHILE in Maurtia Falls, someone might notice a rogue fridge has taken to rampaging up and down the streets in the residential area, while a girl flies behind it. sorry housemates, you're going to have to be fridgeless for a few hours]
snarkbot: (struck gold)
[personal profile] snarkbot
[ Skeets has figured out how to connect to the Network with his mind using his nannite tattoo, which is really quite useful for him especially. So while this is video, everything is from Skeet’s perspective. And currently his perspective isn’t very good. To say he's in a "messy apartment" would be an understatement.

Clothes are definitely not where they're supposed to be, there are several empty pizza boxes and other signs of food scattered around. Plates with bread crusts, seemingly unwashed for a while, with paper plates for when one is too lazy to just wash off a real plate. Envelopes and papers are just hodgepodge everywhere.

While he speaks, he’s tidying. With his little robot hands he picks up these things and puts them back where they came from, to the best of his ability to guess where something might have possibly come from. He removes garbage, puts said dishes in the sink, and sorts through papers.
]

This is a public service announcement. If this is what your room, house or apartment looks like, it is a disaster of untold proportions and you should clean it.

long post is long )
maskormods: (⒋)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: NOVEMBER 10TH, 2016

A MAYA-NOVEMBER ROMANCE
As seen in local newspaper, magazine, and radio ads in the Nonah area:
Knights, Knaves, and Knives will take advantage of those sweet, sweet imPort fandom dollars (and their imPort employee's connection to other imPorts) and do a specially themed show/crossover with the Pink Princess TV show, running from November 14th to the 23rd!

In the TV show's plotline, Maya has traveled back in time to seal some past ghosties, and in the restaurant show she's transported herself to King Arthur's court to get some magical backup. Maya enters a tournament by mistake (as you do), and finds herself going against Morgan la Fey and her champion, Mordred (who, for the sake of being more kid friendly, is now a spooky ghost in spooky armor instead of Arthur and Morgan's bastard). If Maya wins the tournament, she'll win a magical artifact to help her on her journey and save Camelot. If Mordred wins, Morgan gains the power to destroy King Arthur and Camelot for good. Oh no! The results are determined by audience participation and cheering, and both endings are written with the potential for all characters to come back from their untimely defeat.

THE DIXON CHICKS
As seen on TMI's First Scoop TV segment, website, and magazine article:
Could winter's chill be bringing new couples together? For Daryl Dixon and Mako Mori, all signs point to yes. Daryl appears to have hired Mako as his new manager following several trade show appearances, so this may not seem surprising, but the two have also been spotted spending a lot of time together on the streets of De Chima and Nonah. And acting particularly unbusiness-like.

They were first spotted together last month in Maurtia Falls when Daryl was seen carrying a dazed Mako into a diner near the city's Porter. Fans of Daryl reported they'd seen the two leave the 'Haunted Alley' that stirred up so much imPort interest. No one's sure what happened in there, but whatever it was, it looks like a spark was lit when he acted the part of knight in shining armor. Both have denied any romantic involvement, claiming to be 'just friends', but recent pictures of the two show that they can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Guess we know who'll be cozying up in front of the fire this holiday season!

(A smattering of candid photos of the two, Mako's hand often resting against Daryl's arm or Daryl's hand at the small of Mako's back, accompany the segment.)

META-TEXTUAL IMPLICATION
As seen on local news outlets:
A three-month-old missing persons case was unexpectedly solved when Alice Whitman, 14, was dropped off at her parent's house at four in the morning and an ambulance called by an unknown tipster. Early questioning of Alice about her experience by authorities paint a horrific picture of being held captive in an unknown building. Police responded to questions about how she was found with the statement that Alice wasn't in an emotional state to give specifics, but that she kept repeating an 'angel' saved her and 'flew' her home. Given the propensity of flight powered citizens, imPort involvement is suspected, but it could also be a member of our new Metahuman community. However, no one has come forward to claim credit for the rescue. When asked about the fate of her abductor, Police said that they were already in the process of investigating suspects and seizing evidence.

PORTER POSSE MOUTH
As seen in tabloids and The Evening Sun:
Where are they now? A local rag called imPortant! promises to answer this question and more concerning America's latest craze: metahumans! This five page spread gives up the good on the who, what, and where like no one has tackled before! Read interviews from local metahumans in your very own community! Check out the website for video interviews and all the photos imPortant couldn't fit in its pages.

Let's take a look at just one example of this tantalizing coverage!

"We tracked down one man who has been a regular defendant of imPort rights and their importance within America for several years under the alias PorterPosse. Now, he truly feels part of their struggle after the life-changing effects many natives have experienced. This man may not know what the future holds, but he seems confident. 'The world is changing for them. America will be a place for imPorts! It's going to real soon. I guarantee it!' "

Sounds confident, doesn't he?

YOU THINK YOU'VE SEN-ATE ALL!
As seen on Politica and The Beltway Press:
A curious story made the rounds this week, regarding the upcoming Senate election in Virginia. A race that’s been looking tighter and tighter by the week was starting to promote some terse relations between fans of both candidates. However, there was a moment of levity, on a local comedy show, when both candidates Hundred and Stankavich were invited onto the Comedy Hour earlier this week. On the same show.

While tensions arose between the candidates on many points -- most that had to do with economic policy, imports, and international relations -- both spoke at length about their positions, but the most memetic moment of the entire interview was when the host, Danny Talon, provided each with a cream pie, and the candidates smushed the pies into each other’s faces -- before the host proclaimed them the “Re-pie-blican” and “Demo-cream” candidates. All while the audience recited pi.

Pictures of the candidates have been plastered online, and in good fun, both have left the images of their pie-covered faces remain part of the Bwitter profile pictures.

APP-LE OF HIS MOTHER'S EYE
As seen on the national news stations, major headline papers, and public radio:
Maurtia Falls Police Department are on high alert and asking for public assistance in their search for Michael "Mika" Covington. Covington was one of the citizens affected by imPort Tony Stark's "4" app, a no longer downloadable nor legal mobile app that activated a complex virus local citizens had been infected with back in early fall, granting them superpowers. Covington is 5 feet and 10 inches, of average build, has short brown hair and blue eyes. Friends and family say he can be often seen wearing his favourite red hoodie and he has a mole on his chin. Covington gained the ability of flight; something, his family says, he was keen on mastering.

He was last seen in Maurtia Falls at approximately 10:28 PM on October 28th, only three blocks away from where he lived. He was seen at a 24 hour convenience store picking up snacks, however his shopping bag was found in the alleyway behind the store.

His family is begging anyone with any information on his whereabouts to speak up to the police. An inside source says police are also under much pressure from the government to locate Covington due to his status as a meta. They are also cautioning other metas, imPorts included, to stay vigilant when they are by themselves, especially in the night.

WE'RE ALL MADE HERE
As seen on TMI, Rumblr content, Maurtia Falls tabloids:
The first of November sparkled with the celebration of a new psychiatric hospital opening in Maurtia Falls! Doctor Frederick Chilton, newly-minted Head Administrator of the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital for the ImPorted and Empowered, was the guest of honor among a celebrity list of scintillating imPorts and personalities. Reported among that number was aging heartthrob Jeff Winger and the stunning Raina. Fan-favorites like hotel magnate James Patrick March, underground rock star Persephone, the newly married Dorian Gray, and the lovely Bela Talbot. For a full list of the glamorous guests, check out the TMI STAR GAZING! You can alpha-bet that these A-listers have gossip going on.

The event was organized by Rincewind, reported to be Doctor Chilton's closest platonic companion. Dispute on that claim is welcomed in the comments on TMI's linked site! The choice of venue, Ambassador Petyr Baelish's Iron Throne, inspired some raised eyebrows. TMI hopes to follow-up with Ambassador Baelish on his extracurricular activities and growing influence.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from to MODERATELY SKEPTICAL PINK to VIOLET DRIZZLE because PURPLE RAIN was too expensive and the government is hitting a fiscal budget tightening.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
goblinjr: (➥ (s) Nowhere else I need to be.)
[personal profile] goblinjr
Hey, so...

I'm still not completely sure how holidays work around here, but back home, this time of year is pretty much baking season galore. Everyone's rushing around to get cooking supplies and prepare for the holidays. It gets pretty wild. Seems like it might head that direction here, too. Dunno if any of you guys celebrate Thanksgiving, but even if you don't--

[Alright, Osborn. Stop babbling and get to the point.]

Well, I was just thinking. I'm pretty good with food, and I make a mean homemade pie. [A beat.] From scratch, not from a box. Just for the record. [Because he already knows the impression he must have left when he whined a little about not having a driver. Look, he's not completely hopeless!] Anyway, I'd kinda like to make some extra cash for the holidays, so...

Anyone wanna order a pie? It'd be about eight bucks per pie, a little more if you want pecan. I can make just about any kind, and you can freeze 'em if you wanna save 'em for later. Just lemme know what kind you want, when you want it, I'll write your name down, and... bam! Homemade pie for Thanksgiving! Or... whatever you want it for. [And maybe if he does well, he'll open up shop for Christmas and whatever else, too. He's trying not to get too ahead of himself on that front, though.]

If you're not convinced, stop by the studio in De Chima. I just finished making a batch of pies for my-- [He laughs a little, because he still can't believe this is his job.] --show. You can sample some and see if you like 'em first.

[Harry then gives out the address and studio number for his baking show, because... yes. He's totally serious. Drop by!]

video;

Nov. 3rd, 2016 06:13 pm
asoothingvoice: ([Happy] Welcoming)
[personal profile] asoothingvoice
[The video opens with not only one Reyes, but two, in the kitchen of Heropa 16. Both Bianca and Jaime are visible, and it's initially coming from Bianca's communicator.

Bianca begins to speak first. She at least looks more rested than the last time she had made a post to the network.]


Hi, everyone. I'm Bianca Reyes, and this is my son, Jaime. [In the background, Jaime waves dutifully at the camera, though he remains silent. Hi, imPorts!]

Thanksgiving is coming up, and we know not everyone is lucky enough to have family or friends from back home here.

[Something that certainly hit home for Bianca, last month when Alberto disappeared. She looks over at her son.

Now it's Jaime's turn to pipe up, though he's certainly not as skilled a public speaker as his mother is. He doesn't even bother stepping forward.]


So, I know not everyone knows what Thanksgiving is. It's got a long history with, um, pilgrims, and how America was founded, but that isn't really what it's about anymore. Mostly, it's about spending time with people you love, talking about what you're thankful for, and most importantly, eating a lot of food. A lot of food. [He has to grin at that.

Bianca turns a bit to glance at Jaime, with a smile, before returning her attention back to the camera.]


Because of that, we want to invite anyone who doesn't have anyone here or has never celebrated Thanksgiving before to come and celebrate it with us. We might all be stuck here for the holidays, but we don't have to be alone for them.

[Jaime glances over at Bianca a little uneasily because this is a big get-together she's talking about - come on, supervillains, give this one a rest - but instead of voicing those concerns, leaves everyone with a parting request:] Oh, and, uh, since we don't know how big this will get… please bring something if you're coming! We can potluck it up. How big is this grocery list going to get?

[Bianca looks back over, knowingly. They'll have this under control!] It might take a few trips, it'll be fine. [That's not fine at all!]

We'll make sure there's enough space for everyone. If nothing else, the weather will be nice here.

003. text

Nov. 3rd, 2016 12:09 am
hunksmash: (yeah i dunno bout that)
[personal profile] hunksmash
okay I've noticed something and maybe it's the whole "superhero" theme this place has but

am I seriously the only fat dude?

I have not seen another fat guy. or person. that is an imPort.

not that I'm self-conscious or anything I'm great and supremely handsome and blah blah blah. but a spade's a spade. and I think I'm the only spade and that's weird to me.
maskormods: (⒉)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2016

COOL STORY, BRO
As seen in weekly newspapers and the De Chima local news:
ImPort Leonard Snart got a chilly shock earlier this month when he was arrested for breaking into Wayne Technologies. The cold-hearted criminal is chilling out after being thrown into the cooler in De Chima. When asked to comment on his criminal activity, Mr. Snart gave us the cold shoulder before announcing that he was "full of beans - cool beans, actually" before frostily announcing he would unearth the coward who framed him.

Leonard Snart has since been released from police custody. He was perhaps glad to have his freedom, since when one reporter asked Snart what killed the dinosaurs, he simply said "the ice age".

TIME TO DO DIS-NAE NAE
As seen in advertisements and articles in newspapers, magazines, online, etc:
The happiest place on Earth is going to be the spookiest place on Earth this Halloween! Disney is offering special rates for its Magical Express between the city of Nonah, North Carolina and Disney World, Alabama. So take a day trip and have fun at Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party!

Disney also announced a special deal for imPorts: agree to take pictures or sign autographs for the park guests and your trip is free.

A-HOLE IN ONE
As seen on national news:
Ronald Chump announced that he will be spending the next two weeks in Toronto, Canada, for the grand opening of his hotel and eight golf courses. The hotel will be one of the largest in the world, expanding to a total of 7,200 suites and intertwining between the corresponding golf courses. Bwitter user kittyjones4pres questioned if this would in fact interrupt the flow of imPorts, citing a popular conspiracy theory that Ronald Chump is the humanoid shell of the mysteriously powered Porter.

PUNCHING DRUNK LOVE
As seen on Bwitter, Rumblr, Deddit, and morning news shows:
ImPort-themed Halloween costumes are always flying off the shelves this time of year, but after last month's events, there's one top seller standing out above the rest. Halloween parties are promising to be packed with these Inferior Iron Men, dressed in shoddy and battle damaged costumes that parody the armored Avenger. Many costumers online have been customizing with bruised makeup and "kick me" signs. One poster on Deddit constructed a full facsimile of Tony Stark's armor out of cardboard, and promises to use his new-found flying abilities to bumble drunkenly through the De Chima skies.

This Halloween is proving to be one to keep an eye out for, and Lulzfeed is planning to hold a contest where visitors can vote on the best Inferior Iron Man sighting.

URBAN LEGEND
As seen in local newspapers, along with the usual rumor-mongering online chatter:
Police are investigating the mysterious death of a young woman in downtown Nonah. Eyewitness reports are scattered, but all agree that on October 18, 2:19 PM a truck hit an unidentified female and a tiger, then flew into the air to land on the woman again. She was pronounced dead at the scene. The tiger appeared to be a Blickablake model from the ImPocreat line and emerged relatively unscathed from the accident.

The driver of the truck, Lief Olesen, could not be reached for comment, having suddenly decided to pursue a lifelong dream of going off the grid and living completely secluded from society.

The body was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital, where it disappeared seemingly of its own accord before an autopsy could be performed. Rumors are already circulating that the residents of the now infamous haunted alleyway are beginning to step past Maurtia Falls' boundaries - or worse, that the rash of bizarre murders has continued unabated. While officials have quashed the outlandish claims, even they are forced to admit that they have no earthly idea how a corpse could remove itself from a morgue with no witnesses.

Authorities believe that the ImPocreat's master may be involved in both incidents, having been seen by many arguing with the woman just before the truck allegedly took to the skies. An anonymous source has provided a photograph of the individual, and anyone with information concerning his identity or that of the victim is encouraged to contact the Nonah police.

HOW STARR-TLING!
As seen on Bwitter, Rumblr, Deddit:
Employees at Starrware, co-founded by imPort Karen Starr, were taken by surprise as their co-CEO was seen dragging an older man out of their offices. According to witnesses, the man, known as The Doctor and another imPort, had shown up around noon in the building and begun behaving suspiciously. When asked to cite his reasons for being in the building, the Doctor explained that he did not trust Ms. Starr and wanted to check her research for temporal anomalies as well as “really obvious baddie stuff.”

Ms. Starr had apparently requested he leave, but he remained insistent on examining every inch of the building. The two were reported to have gotten into a heated accident before Ms. Starr was seen punching the Doctor and physically and roughly escorting him out of the building herself.

“I like Karen, she’s smart,” says one employee who wished to remain anonymous. “But she isn’t very… womanly, you know? She should have let security do their job. I think she was rough on the old man.”

NOT A PERSE-PHONY
As seen on Rumblr, Bwitter, Deddit, Photogram, and the nightly news:
An imPort named Persephone (who claims to be THAT Persephone) is putting on concerts that she refers to as "communions." While most attendees just fucking love her music, there have been reports of fans collapsing, suffering panic attacks, having visions, traumatic flashbacks, or even becoming enraptured with religious fervor while she sings. Probably more than a view BlueTube videos of people freaking out- but the audio on the recordings are completely garbled. Kids coming out of her shows are claimed to be more aggressive/likely to cause mischief than before they went in.

Others are claiming that she does not sing and that there is no music, only a girl in tacky clothes standing on stage and chanting in tongues.

In short, reviews are extremely mixed, but tickets are none-the-less selling like hot cakes.

ELECTION DYSFUNCTION
As seen leaked on Bwitter:
Rumor has it that the upcoming imPort Ambassador forums will involve a limited number of imPort-submitted questions. Oh my!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from DESPERATELY WRONG BEIGE to MODERATELY SKEPTICAL PINK because pink makes the eye squint (in a conjunctivitis way).

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
textualhealing: (120)
[personal profile] textualhealing
I’m going to be honest with you here network, I’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just needed some time apart from all the self-congratulating, needy social media bullcrap that this network breeds. I mean, it’s no Rumblr, but sometimes it comes a close second.

Pro tip: if it’s not about me I’m just not interested. [Hopefully that’s a joke, but there’s a big possibility it isn’t.]

But I’m here to extend the olive branch of apology for depriving you of my company for a long ass amount of time, and also remind you that the second season of my show finished airing not so long ago, so buy that shit when it’s on DVD so I can get your money. Or… a very small percentage of it.

[Best salesman ever.]

Video

Sep. 21st, 2016 06:23 pm
excessivehubris: (The weight of the world)
[personal profile] excessivehubris
[ This was not the route Charles wanted to take with this. But his attempt to handle it privately and internally had been met with the same level of dismissal as the conversation he and this version of Tony Stark had back in April.

Which was to say, complete dismissal.

After speaking with Peter, Charles had spent a few hours on the top of the roof considering his next move. Tony was … Tony had been his friend. One of the first he’d made upon coming to this new world, second only behind Erik and at times a support for him when Erik had been … Erik.

He didn’t want to have to do what his gut was telling him needed to be done, but if Charles had learned anything from tangling with En Sabah Nur; if he’d learned nothing else from Raven, Hank and Erik … he’d learned that he couldn’t just bury his head in the sand and hope for the best. Hope was important, hope was vital but it could be just as destructive when not balanced with the resolve to do what needed to be done, when innocent lives were on the line.

Though he had now been awake for almost two days straight, a fact that might be noticeable to anyone who knew him well, the professor was sharply dressed (three piece suit and all) and looked resolute from behind his desk. He had been busy, from well before dawn and up to this point.

He had shifted pieces all across the chessboard and while he did not delude himself in to believing that Tony was even in check, Charles knew the next moves would require aid from the imPort community as a whole. ]


Good morning.

It is with great regret and sincere apology, we must announce to the world that an internal investigation has revealed that the StarkTech “4” application is an abomination and an expression of the weakness and failure of its creator; Mr. Anthony Edward Stark.

[ Peter Parker is standing behind Charles and to the right, leaning slightly on the desk to keep himself in frame. Where Charles is dressed to the nines, Peter looks like he’s come straight from the lab--rolled-up sleeves, goggle hair and all. He sways forward as though he’s about to cut in, then just as visibly bites it back before he waves Charles to continue. ]

Non IC cut in which it comes to light that Tony Stark is an ass. An even bigger ass than usual )
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THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2016

THIRSTING FOR THAT DICKLE
As seen on BlueTube, general social media, before being picked up by imPort hungry tabloids:
There was a shocking turn of events in Nonah last week when imPort Gabriel Gray, the bachelor of upcoming survival-dating reality TV Show ZomBae, was captured on video apparently delirious and emitting a chaotic explosion of lightning. The video circulated on social media before tabloids reached out for comment. Eye witnesses, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that two assailants in bird masks had fired a weapon at Gray from their car before driving away.

"He threw lightning at them, and then just started losing it," said one witness. "He said something about someone named-- Ellen? Elle? I guess dating shows are really stressful when you put zombies in them." More witnesses confirmed the car's license plate as DICKLE.

Gray could not be reached for comment.

A CASE OF SAME FACE?
As seen on imPort gossip sites and magazines:
Alison Hendrix, Cosima Niehaus, Helena [REDACTED], Rachel Duncan, Sarah Manning, Sarissa Theron—six identical imPorts, all of whom have been spotted multiple times on the Network and in person across the east coast during the past year. These imPorts have been telling the public that they're part of a set of quintuplets who were separated at birth, but anyone who can count to six has discovered a flaw in what seems to be some sort of cover story! Word on the street has suggested everything from superpowers gone haywire to a self-replicating virus to Russian-designed robot spies, but none of the quints—or did we mean sextuplets?—have made an official statement regarding their suspicious behavior.

EX-TRA! EX-TRA!
As seen on TMI:
Cameras were flashing when we saw everyone's favorite power(ed)couple going off somewhere quiet at the monthly Swear-In. However, it seems as though Daisy Johnson and Jesse Pinkman did not come to the Swear-In together. Instead, Daisy Johnson came with a new imPort, Lincoln Campbell. That didn't stop all three of them from talking. Pinkman seemed at ease during the whole conversation while photographs show just how tense Daisy Johnson was. Johnson and Campbell were seen dancing together and were caught holding hands. Later in the evening they left together as well.

With very little information available on Mr. Campbell we are led to believe that there is the possibility he is from Ms. Johnson's home planet.

JUST KISS ALREADY
As seen on the most prominent ad page of every affordable newspaper:
Time After Time
New watches! Under new management!
Now featuring compass watches: it's a watch AND a compass!
Direction watches coming soon.
Buy watches!
One location in Heropa, go to the website for more information.
18'14 19220922 1821 021206 04261307 0712 07261516.

NUCLEAR MOM
As seen on MeTube, Rumblr, BlueTube:
Bianca Reyes verbally GRINDING down a grocery store jerk and embarrassing her son! See her in action! Momtastic action!

IN TRUE AC-KORD-ANCE
As seen on all major national news outlets and major tech and automotive magazines and blogs:
After months of R&D, Starrware's Ted Kord has announced the launch of the company's newest and most innovative tech, Solar Technology Overlay Paneling. The technology combines Starrware's goal for environmentally-friendly technology with the popular hover engine technology, and uses a camouflage honeycomb solar paneling that allows engines to to draw energy from the sun, storing up to 250 hours of driving time per charge. The solar paneling can cover as much or as little of the vehicle as desired, blends in nicely with any color your vehicle comes in, and works on any size hover engine, from motorized bicycles to buses used for public transportation.

At Starrware's press conference this week, Mr. Kord announced that they have already begun production through General Motors and Ford, and expect to launch with Chrysler later in the month, with the first STOP cars expected to feature heavily in the 2017 lines for all three manufacturers. He has assured the press that Starrware will keep the production and distribution American, a move which has already driven Starrware's stock prices up as customer interest has spiked.

When asked for comment, Karen Starr, Starrware founder and CEO, and Ben Goldberg, co-CEO, replied "We at Starrware are exceptionally proud of Mr. Kord's talents and work with us, and are excited to see where this breakthrough will lead as we have no doubts this what will help further our goals and encourage others to look to greener solutions as well."

RENN FAIRE IS COMING
As seen in circulating ads:
Volunteer actors needed for the Renaissance Faire at the Maria-Francis foundation/September swear-in. No experience is necessary, training and costumes will be provided. All applicants considered, minors will need a guardian's signature!

A highlight in September will be a Renaissance festival being held to celebrate the opening of the Marie-Francis Foundation!

This will be an opportunity for the Foundation to express its gratitude to the imPorts and natives who helped construct its new headquarters, as well as an opportunity to welcome new imPorts at their Swearing-in.

The festival organizers are currently looking for any local imPort businesses that would be interested in having a booth at the festival, as well as participants for costume and character contests! There will be food, games, costumes and more at the festival and anyone with questions is welcome to contact the Foundation directly.

Whether people have a booth or choose to participate with a costume, the Foundation hopes everybody will come and enjoy a finally celebration of summer and welcome to fall!

TRULY PIE-OUS IMPORTS!
As seen on local Heropa news sites and papers, as well as pictures and videos from the event itself popping up on all major social media:
Local Heropan charitable organization, Helping Hands, Open Hearts, reports that their recent fundraiser spearheaded by imPorts Hartley Rathaway and M, "imPie an imPort", was a huge success. Over the course of the afternoon, imPorts and native citizens alike raised a shocking $4,254 in pie sales, standalone donations, and pie-in-the-face donations. HHOH founders Franklin and Susanne MacDonald say that the funds raised will do a lot to help with the construction of the new homeless shelter and resource center, but they will continue to accept donations. Their website has more information on how and where to donate, as well as photos and video clips from the event.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from CAUTIOUS PATRIOTISM to PUMPKIN SPICE ORANGE because Moonbux is a proud partner of the NSA and the DHS. Make sure to sign up for a Moonbux card, your tenth coffee is free!

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
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[Superman looks honestly just....

Tired. He reaches to rub the bridge of his nose before he speaks, wondering how to even put it into words. Oh, he knows what he wants to say, knows what he wants to do. But it would be unfair to out someone without giving them a chance to work things out in this place, to become a better person.

Except, last time he tried that it ended up with him kidnapped in Crane’s basement.]


If someone from your world appeared here, someone who you knew was capable of really awful things… would you warn people?

Or would you give them a chance to be different in this place?

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