maskormenace | [VIDEO]

[The video feed presents an older british gentleman at his desk, surrounded by stacks of history books. He looks up into the camera and smiles warmly.]

Good evening, my name is Walter Strickler. I'm a new arrival here, and I thought it best that I introduce myself. More than that, actually, I was hoping to ask a question.

I am in the midst of familiarizing myself with the history of this world, and how it differs from my own... Most of the discrepancies have been fairly minute, others less so, but it lead me to wondering about other worlds. Your worlds, and the histories theirin; if you care to share them. I suppose I'm just curious, is it common for most of us... "imports" to be from worlds that are similar, or ones that are vastly different? Is there anything here that has struck you as odd?

[There's a small pause, an aside glance, as he arranges the wording of his next question carefully.]

And, are 'powers' common where you're from? Whether it be mutations, magic, or anything of the sort. Are these things familiar to you?

Please do forgive me if I take a moment to understand anything you have to share. I must admit, I am still attempting to process all of this... But I would not want to have anyone feeling put-out for my misgivings. Thank you. I look forward to getting to know you all better.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can summon knives. [And he does, bringing a hand into view as a green mist forms around it and shapes itself into a solid, silver knife.]

It's not exactly "fun", but it is interesting. What powers have you been given?

Sweet. I can summon shrimp- cool power but then sometimes it's shrimp that's alive.

And I can make it rain trash sometimes. And I can't say fork. Like, not fork but fork. You know what I mean, right?

I.. think I know what you mean, yes. So, wait- you're saying that one of your powers is that you can't curse?

That's certainly odd. I can't imagine why you would have wound up with those powers in particular.

Apparently, the immortal beings running in the afterlife don't like swearing so it's been a long time since I've been able to call someone a motherforker properly.

I can still say butthead though.

At least knives are useful.

That sounds like hell.

You know, it's not a very good insult, but you may be able to say "buttsnack" as well. It's an obnoxious phrase I've heard my students use in the past year. It's technically child-friendly, but the implications are dubious at best.

BUTTSNACKS.

Fork, I love it. Your students are forking creative.

Hah! Well, at least in this case, the power of buttsnacks has been used for good. I'll be sure to tell them.

Please do. They should feel proud.

What do you teach?

World history. Hence the - [He gestures around vaguely. The video, the questions, etc.]

I'm trying to learn more about where people are coming from.

You're gonna have a lot of fun here then. Lots of different worlds to learn about.

Man, I slept through world history class in high school. I passed because I hooked the teacher up with good weed though, so there's that. I bet you're a better teacher though.

I should hope that I am.

[He looks a little scandalized at the mere idea of it. This is how public schools get a bad reputation.]

And you're right. Learning about all of the different worlds has been... well, I'm not sure that “fun” is applicable to all of them, but it's illuminating at the least.

[Look, it's Arizona. Not a lot of high standards here.]

Yeah, I know what you mean. There seem to be infinite other worlds with a lot of strange things. I thought Arizona was weird but I guess not compared to other places. Like places that don't have Taco Bell and Kylie Jenner's Instragram.

[He scoffs.]

If you’re trying to remind me why it’s a good thing to be away from home, you're succeeding.

[Bad news, he’s a good teacher but he’s also a stuffy old man.]

Just wait, you'll be missing home soon enough. I don't miss my old life, being alive and all, I just miss being able to say fork.

Like a motherforker.

...Have you tried saying it in other languages? I don't know how stringent the rules are to this cursing curse of yours.

Tried it in Spanish, no go which isn't fair since that's really the only Spanish I picked up in Arizona.

[Eleanor has priorities]

No easy loopholes, then. Your best option may be what you're already doing, to go with the closest-sounding word available. Or you could create nonsensical swears that don't exist yet?

[Like snackbutt.]

[VIDEO]

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;

Video;