Well, nobody's given me a certificate but -- [ He shrugs ] -- I did stop a nuke aimed at France once.

[ and then a heroin-abusing reality warper magically turned the other nuke in to literal shit but we don't talk about that in polite company!!! ]

Look - I'm just as concerned about this death ray business as anyone else but I've faced weirder weapons before. And as much as I'd quite like to make it back home, I know that I can take more of a beating than your average import. So if there's anything I can do then let me know. I can't help with money, or magic, or diplomacy, or talking, or anything like that... but if there's something big and dangerous that needs to be punched in to submission then - [ he spreads his hands emphatically ] - I'm probably your guy.

[ He pauses reflectively. ]

Or one of them, at least. I have no idea how many people like me there are here. You might have twenty already.