Well. The randomly attacked part is easy enough to explain. It's pretty much common knowledge. Most of the time we're fine, but occasionally when large groups of imPorts get together... something goes wrong. People get kidnapped. Terrorist bombings. Robot killer sharks show up on the beach. That kind of stuff. It's... not totally clear whether it's people in the US or outside of it who are responsible, but either way, someone out there has it out for us.