Stiles Stilinski (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threeisapattern) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2020-03-14 07:26 pm
threeisapattern) wrote in maskormenace2020-03-14 07:26 pm
video; memory share
[warnings for mental illness and physical attack on a child by a parent]
[The video starts, the image marred by occasional and flicking between black-and-white and heavily de-saturated, certain colors more prominent than others. The owner of the memory is stepping out of an elevator onto the top of a roof, all concrete walls and odd blocks of ceiling creating uneven ground. Everything's a little distorted, unsettlingly large, like the world's just a bit too big (or the owner of the memory was a bit too small).
[A woman is standing on a raised block, facing the edge of the roof, and the viewer watches her for a long moment before an older man wearing a brown jacket brushes past you. Claudia? he says, and begins to climb the ladder to her level. What are you doing up there?
I couldn't stand to be in that room anymore, she says, exhaustion on her face, and she steps away from the edge. Not with him looking at me like that.
Claudia-
He's trying to hurt me. She sucks in a breath, shoring up air for the continuation of a long argument. I don't care if you don't believe me, but he is, he's trying to kill me.
The memory distorts on the words kill me. When it clears again, the man is holding his hand out to her.
No. That's not true. She takes it, and he leads her the rest of the way down to safety. Come on. He brings her into his arms and holds her, wrapped up and safe for the moment. You have to remind yourself that it's a disease. Remember what the dementia does? It gives you delusions. It makes you think that people are out to get you -
You don't... see the way he looks at me, she cuts in, her voice shaking.
He's ten years old.
He's trying to kill me!
She turns to the viewer then, seeing them for the first time. Stop it. Stop looking at me like that. Stop it! Stop looking at me! With a shriek, she rushes the viewer and attacks. It's not elegant, all flailing fists fueled by panic and terror, but she has the advantage over the -
the child, it's definitely a child -
who falls to the ground, crying out, and raises his arms in front of him in a pitiful attempt at protecting himself. He's crying, breath coming sharp and terrified so that he can barely get words out, Mom, stop, please -
The memory ends.]
[In the video that comes after, Stiles is white-faced, sitting on the floor of his bedroom - less sitting, more fallen, like he wasn't in control when he stopped standing - and a husky is whining next to him, licking his hand pathetically. He talks, but his voice is far away; it's possible he isn't aware a camera is recording.] That didn't happen. That didn't - that didn't happen.
[The video starts, the image marred by occasional and flicking between black-and-white and heavily de-saturated, certain colors more prominent than others. The owner of the memory is stepping out of an elevator onto the top of a roof, all concrete walls and odd blocks of ceiling creating uneven ground. Everything's a little distorted, unsettlingly large, like the world's just a bit too big (or the owner of the memory was a bit too small).
[A woman is standing on a raised block, facing the edge of the roof, and the viewer watches her for a long moment before an older man wearing a brown jacket brushes past you. Claudia? he says, and begins to climb the ladder to her level. What are you doing up there?
I couldn't stand to be in that room anymore, she says, exhaustion on her face, and she steps away from the edge. Not with him looking at me like that.
Claudia-
He's trying to hurt me. She sucks in a breath, shoring up air for the continuation of a long argument. I don't care if you don't believe me, but he is, he's trying to kill me.
The memory distorts on the words kill me. When it clears again, the man is holding his hand out to her.
No. That's not true. She takes it, and he leads her the rest of the way down to safety. Come on. He brings her into his arms and holds her, wrapped up and safe for the moment. You have to remind yourself that it's a disease. Remember what the dementia does? It gives you delusions. It makes you think that people are out to get you -
You don't... see the way he looks at me, she cuts in, her voice shaking.
He's ten years old.
He's trying to kill me!
She turns to the viewer then, seeing them for the first time. Stop it. Stop looking at me like that. Stop it! Stop looking at me! With a shriek, she rushes the viewer and attacks. It's not elegant, all flailing fists fueled by panic and terror, but she has the advantage over the -
the child, it's definitely a child -
who falls to the ground, crying out, and raises his arms in front of him in a pitiful attempt at protecting himself. He's crying, breath coming sharp and terrified so that he can barely get words out, Mom, stop, please -
The memory ends.]
[In the video that comes after, Stiles is white-faced, sitting on the floor of his bedroom - less sitting, more fallen, like he wasn't in control when he stopped standing - and a husky is whining next to him, licking his hand pathetically. He talks, but his voice is far away; it's possible he isn't aware a camera is recording.] That didn't happen. That didn't - that didn't happen.
no subject
Hey, can you hear me? You're okay. You're not there. You're in your bedroom and you're okay.
no subject
[Oh. Oh no.]
Are you okay? Where are you?
[At least he has his dog with him, to help ground him.]
no subject
[Is he in denial? He has no idea. All he knows is that, ten minutes ago, he had no (conscious) memory of that happening, and now it's on the network and it's just a video but it's not, at the same time, he remembers what it felt like, the bright burst of terror when it happened.]
It wasn't her.
no subject
It brings Stiles' attention to Jane, at least, even if he's still lost.] ...What?
no subject
Do you know where you are?
[He's clearly not okay. Yes or no questions like this might be better for him to answer, for now at least.]
no subject
no subject
[She bites her lip, going silent. Kind of awkwardly.]
Um. Sorry. This is ... lots of adjectives. I think I saw something that happened to you in the past?
no subject
no subject
[How could you even talk about something like that? She really does want to make sure that he's alright, but how could she do that? Sure, she knows him, but it's not like she knows him.]
Or we could, if you wanted to.
no subject
no subject
[Safer topic? Possibly a distraction?]
no subject
His name's Derek.
no subject
I'm glad he's there for you. I knew the other Derek too.
no subject
[Oh look, Stiles is... kind of smiling.] He was so not happy when he found out.
no subject
I simply can't imagine why.
no subject
no subject
[She still can't believe that he is gone.]
no subject
My dad was sick. Mentally ill. It changed him. When he did what he did, when he hurt me, it wasn't really him. It was his sickness.
[She speaks slowly and softly, hoping maybe he means something similar with the woman in the memory.]
He's not here. And she's not here either.
Video
You are far more than what was done to you, young man. You are strong to have survived as long as you have, and regardless of what she said, you are likely a very good person who did not deserve that treatment. Think not on the way she treated you. Think instead of those you care for and the strength you draw from them. Your...
[What would that little rascal Sora say in this situation?]
Your heart is tied to those you love and who love you, not to those who shunned you.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[She lets out a sigh.]
Yeah. Stuff happened over the New Years ... I was hoping we could move past some drama ... but now we'll never get that chance.
no subject
[He is shocked a young man was left to reside in that sort of unsafe space.]
Then would she not wish you to disregard the woman she became to instead remember and honor that which she was?
text — private
Do you need anything right now?
[ Stiles might not realize it (yet) but Nate is hovering on the stairs, listening, hearing the husky whine. Vicky is moving though, going to lay down by the closed door in waiting. ]
no subject
[Having a parent, the person who is supposed to love and protect you, try to kill you is an experience no one should have.]
And seeing it like this, makes it feel like it's happening all over again? [She asks softly, knowing it's how she would feel.]
no subject
[Stiles is staying where he is, but Derek must hear Vicky because he briefly leaves Stiles's side to scratch at the door.]
no subject
[But it's kinda hard to do that right now when he's still processing something he didn't even know happened, so. Yeah.]
no subject
[He dips his head down and just takes a breath.] It's like... it just opened a door in my head and now there it is.
no subject
[ Nate is also staying right where he is, eyes on the door. But Vicky, she hears the scratching and gives a whine in response, shuffling closer to the door to nudge with her nose. ]
I'm right outside. If you do.
no subject
That doesn't mean he wants to talk about it. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk, either. He doesn't know, just - ] I could hear her asking to come inside.
no subject
[ Taking a step up, Nate moves closer to the bedroom. ]
She's worried about you. [ A beat. ] We were both worried.
no subject
no subject
That's one way to look at it. [Similar to her memory palace.] Maybe you can picture closing that door and locking it. So the memory can't get to you.