URGENT BULLETIN.

[mmnpcs]

[ The following is secured to the network at 9 PM, via an ID that has not been present on it yet, a simple non-interactive bulletin. It will not be responded to, although imPorts are free to engage in discussion amongst themselves. ]

ATTENTION IMPORTS!

It is come to our attention that Unsettled imPorts have been allowed to skirt our regulations regarding what benefits are and aren't received up to this month, which is a dire oversight on the part of your liaisons and supervisors. Upon discovering that the budget for imPort benefits received far exceeded the amount needed for the current amount of Registered imPorts we have on file, further investigation showed that many similar oversights have been provided for non-Registered imPorts off the books that have not been sanctioned by those of us outside of Cape Canaveral.

We are getting to the bottom of this and are making cuts in the budget where they should have been already: Non-Registered imPorts were never meant to be receiving these benefits for as long as they have been. Furthermore, upon questioning your current imPort Affairs Liaison, Captain Parc Holiday, he could not account for every inconsistency we've since discovered and showed some alarming signs of blunted affect and apparent memory gaps; those inconsistencies he claimed he could recall he admitted to committing.

Make no mistake, we in the Federal Government sympathize with the imPort plight, but we cannot afford to let free resources be given out illegally; Captain Holiday does not have the authority to make such decisions. Effective immediately he has been removed from his position as ImPort/Government Affairs Liaison and has been moved into a maximum security psychiatric facility to further study his symptoms. Until we can locate a suitable replacement or Captain Holiday proves himself truly fit to resume his duties, we are promoting Lieutenant Ananke to Captain so she can operate in his stead and will be keeping an eye on the situation as well as her performance to determine what other changes may prove necessary.

- L. Chases
Secretary of Defense

Comments

[selfimage]

Now color me curious. Where are you that popcorn is a luxury?

[debauchewy]

You like games, hm? I'll give you three guesses and one hint. [Though he's sure he won't even need the hint.]

[selfimage]

This doesn't sound like a very fun game.

Can you see from between the comical novelty prison bars?

[debauchewy]

I can. [A snort.]

But not very much. It's boring, believe me.

[selfimage]

I take it whatever nefarious attempt sated your desires at the time was worth the time behind bars?

[debauchewy]

[A long sigh.]

No, actually. But there's really nothing I can do about it. Crime doesn't pay, who'd've thought, hm? Not my breed of it anyway, not in this world. I'll have to put my abilities to better use in the future.

[selfimage]

Rehabilitation is offered, isn't it? For anyone who needs a quick "get out of jail" card from the random draw.

[debauchewy]

But what does that mean...

[selfimage]

A surprise, most likely. One freedom versus another.

[debauchewy]

Exactly. Is that how it works then. I say I will do- rehabilitation, and that gets me out of here. But with-

Whatever rehabilitation is to deal with? They weren't very descriptive.

[selfimage]

And we wouldn't want any unwanted zombie apocalypses, with the way things are going.

[debauchewy]

Don't mind me for losing track of the conversation, did you say zombies? That's the second time that word's come up, is there something else I should be made aware of?

[selfimage]

What would you like to be made aware of? I think my punchline got a little lost.

[debauchewy]

It did, you'll have to excuse me, this place is having an effect on my sense of humour. I think I might be going insane. How does one check?

[selfimage]

You'd best act a Midgardian professional for advice, I'm not exactly the best person to ask.

But a sense of humor is an awful thing to lose.

[debauchewy]

Midgardian? [All these terms.] Good thing I don't lose things often then.