Mar. 20th, 2017


Mar. 20th, 2017 09:48 am
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[personal profile] helpline
[ The Doctor clicks on the camera with a grin. He's sitting in a park and there's a mirage of a small group of Civil War era soldiers practicing drills behind him. ]

Blah blah corpses, blah blah murder, let's talk about something fun. Specifically, these anachronisms. It doesn't take an idiot to know that things have ramped up recently. Going from not speaking to actual interaction? That's different. Makes you wonder if they're going to ramp up even further to a more sustained type of interaction.

[ Those with a keen eye can notice that the soldiers have done the same drill over and over again, repeating the same ten seconds for as long as the Doctor's been speaking. If not...well, he'll point it out anyway. ]

Because this? Limited interaction. These soldiers back here keep doing the same 'sound off' sort of chant no matter how many times I've told them to shut up. It's like they've forgotten I've yelled at them in the first place. Anyway, this is something up my alley so I poked around and bothered some people and I've got a hypothesis! And said hypothesis? Whatever this is, it's unintentional and whoever's causing it doesn't know they've caused it in the first place.

Why is it unintentional, well the answer to that is simple, people've been quiet! If someone caused this, whether on purpose or an accident, guilt or the drive to make a cliche baddie speech would have pushed them to say something. So, how could it be unintentional in the first place? Answer: the Porter.

[ He talks with his hands as he does so, gesturing from one place to another as he talks. ] It only makes sense! What's the biggest cause of timeline strife and what's already probably punctured a hole in this universe web of time? Answer, the Porter. What can yank people from across time and space much like some of these anachronisms are yanked across time and space? Answer, the Porter. [ The Doctor can't help but roll his eyes slightly. ] And if the government official who's inevitably monitoring these communications would just let me look at the Porter, maybe this nonsense would be fixed!

[ said with a very pointed stare at the communicators. C'mon buddy. Just let him poke at things. ]

So, to wrap this all up, question! Who among you've noticed something weird happening timeline wise with you or your buds lately? It's a good place to start.

[ It doesn't occur to the Doctor that for all the conjecture he's made about what the cause of the anachronisms is, there's absolutely no conjecture on how to fix it. Whoops. ]
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[personal profile] stegophily
[ Faith's been pondering this broadcast for a while, mostly the best way to go about it. She also wanted to wait for at least one more round of new arrivals to show up, to make it more difficult to narrow her identity down. Now seems as good a time as any. ]

how many got some kind of ability they didn't have @ home? —don't care what it is
—how'd you learn to use it?
—is it something actually useful?
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Mutilated corpses seem to be all the rage now. Be careful! Take heed! Don't walk down any dark alleyways or look into other people's trash cans, or you might find a dismembered head looking back!

As seen in the local Maurtia Falls papers:
The unstoppable urban artist "bElish" has slapped down a new project near the Maurtia Falls mayoral residence. In bold, gold lettering is written "improptent" across the asphalt road leading to the residence. A spray of Petyr Baelish's face in light blue can be found alongside the enigmatic word. What is the meaning behind this art? Is it foreshadow? Is it anti-capitalistic outrage? Is the patriarchy now in free fall?

As heard on hot and new online podcast sites and gossip blogs only, conspicuously not covered by mainstream media publications:
ImPort entertainer and occasional political figure Count Dooku debuted a controversial new podcast this week under the title of Counting Truths, using his inimitably deep voice to spread his knowledge on the Internet. The first episode, themed Truth and Justice, starts with Dooku stating his intention to spark frank discussion on political topics not covered by the standard American media, which he derided as a "chattering mass of celebrity gossip and frivolous nonsense." He urges his listeners to ask questions and challenge official stories, appealing specifically to America's superhumans, "those with the power to truly create change." Toward that end, he invites imPorts and metahumans to appear on later episodes of the podcast for interviews as guests.

The Count closes the episode by asking listeners to observe a belated moment of silence for what he calls "the Debrecen massacre," an incident roughly one year ago when American warplanes bombed the Soviet-allied city of Debrecen, Hungary to destroy alleged weapons research there, killing thousands of civilians. "No one has ever been held accountable for this war crime," Dooku intones in the podcast. "ImPort protests fell upon deaf ears. But I predict there will one day be justice for this and other acts of corruption. The innocent dead can never be forgotten."

As seen in imPort tabloids, footage on BlueTube, gifs on Rumblr:
Viktor's powers are a menace and dragged Adachi into something that was a little too intimate looking. Prime material for gossip! Chew on it long and hard. Viktor cheating on Yuuri?? Is prudish Adachi now a homewrecker??

As seen national news:
Do you like apples? Do you like eating apples? Do you have any stock invested in Big Produce, with a finger on apple harvest? WELL SUCKS FOR YOU. Between March 20th - March 25th, an unprecedented and seemingly biblical thing happens: 80% of the apple produce in stores ROTS. Millions of dollars are lost in this hit, and it's a thing the CDC has to figure out, ideally along with the EPA, and CERTAINLY the Department of Agriculture. No other food appears affected, and the apparent famine is very, very brief. So what does this mean for YOU? Apples are temporary a scarce and incredibly expensive item, the surviving stock of that remaining 20% is now worth 5000% times its usual asking price.

The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from GLITTER to SOLAR ECLIPSE because it makes you feel just a bit uneasy.

The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.


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