Video

[symphonyinme]

[Linda is a little new to this whole video post thing- even in the year of our lord two thousand-something at home she'd still had a flip phone- so she's gussied up a little for this chat. The comm is nicely placed on her coffee table and Linda is sitting on the poofiest over-stuffed chair the living room has to offer. She's also holding a stuffed figure of her daughter, Tina Belcher, in her lap. Since she talks with her hands, poor stuffed Tina will be waving around a lot as Linda talks. Sorry, baby.]

My baby girl Tina went missing for a whole week without the dumb-face police here caring. She went poof in the porter, I guess, but that's no excuse! What if something terrible happened? Where are all the other kids that go running off, no grown ups watching them close and careful. Sure, they're alive and got money, but left alone with a microwave and no curfew and no kuchi kopi band-aids or get better songs-

[She takes a deep breath to steady herself. Getting a little worked up here.]

Look, we've got all these grown ups here with time. So I wanna start using my Lind-a-Care foundation to help keep an eye on the kids. Just...just check their homework and make sure they know how to do the dishes and maybe give 'em the talk when they need it. All of that stuff!

I've got the glitter to make the new recruitment banner, but a girl needs some help. And money. And kids to sign up. Even if you don't wanna, huns. Trust me, there's just...oh my god, so much can go wrong. I can't stop thinking about it. Like finding out you're allergic to bees when you're all alone...

So, c'mon! Let's kick butt!

[She throws her arms up in enthusiasm at the end of this, sending poor stuffed Tina flying off camera. Linda watches it sail away and into the kitchen with wide eyes.]

Oopsie...