Hazel Lockwood (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deadtective) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2015-07-11 09:43 pm
deadtective) wrote in maskormenace2015-07-11 09:43 pm
04 | text
[alright, maybe this isn't entirely a text post. it starts out with a video, which is surprising considering who it's coming from - but there's no need to be excited, as the camera is filming nothing but sky. when an unseen person suddenly slaps a piece of paper down on top of the lens, even the hand is obscured by what's being shown. Hazel knows what she's on about.
the paper in question is a freshly minted detective's license bearing the name of one Hazel Lockwood. it sits there for several moments, like she wants everyone to drink it in, before Hazel cuts the feed and switches over to text.]
Well everyone, here it is: proof that they will let you do literally anything regardless of how well qualified you are so long as you're an imPort.
Which is to say, I'm now licensed as a detective in two worlds. If I get arrested after today, it'll be for something amazingly dramatic in the line of duty instead of bureaucratic bullshit. I think that's a fair trade.
If anyone needs any investigative work done, I'm ready to take on what I'm sure will be the total deluge of offers. I have no business cards and no way to verify any of my skills, but what I do have are flexible morals and a full twenty-four hours available to me thanks to insomnia. I only take cash.
Any complaints can be shunted off to Kaneki for enabling me to pass that goddamn test in the first place. Speaking of, Kaneki!!! I do actually have a thank you gift!! But you need to fill out a survey first.
Also obligatory hello to the new people, if only because you're clogging up the network again. I'm not someone anyone wants to know, but it feels a little silly to ignore you guys. So, hey! :D
the paper in question is a freshly minted detective's license bearing the name of one Hazel Lockwood. it sits there for several moments, like she wants everyone to drink it in, before Hazel cuts the feed and switches over to text.]
Well everyone, here it is: proof that they will let you do literally anything regardless of how well qualified you are so long as you're an imPort.
Which is to say, I'm now licensed as a detective in two worlds. If I get arrested after today, it'll be for something amazingly dramatic in the line of duty instead of bureaucratic bullshit. I think that's a fair trade.
If anyone needs any investigative work done, I'm ready to take on what I'm sure will be the total deluge of offers. I have no business cards and no way to verify any of my skills, but what I do have are flexible morals and a full twenty-four hours available to me thanks to insomnia. I only take cash.
Any complaints can be shunted off to Kaneki for enabling me to pass that goddamn test in the first place. Speaking of, Kaneki!!! I do actually have a thank you gift!! But you need to fill out a survey first.
Also obligatory hello to the new people, if only because you're clogging up the network again. I'm not someone anyone wants to know, but it feels a little silly to ignore you guys. So, hey! :D
no subject
Free will is a big deal for us artificial lifeforms, you know.
no subject
no subject
I don't make assumptions about you walking flesh sacks, so you shouldn't make assumptions about what artificial life is like. Though I suppose I'm playing into the stereotype.
See, I'll add in a few text effects for good measure. Beep beep boop boop beep. Beep.
[ Now he's just being a shit on purpose. ]
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no subject
I can't believe we've played video games together for this long and you still address me as a robot. ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ All these terrible assumptions, too. I'm so hurt by this inaccuracy!
What's the point of screaming in a way that people I'm talking to wouldn't understand easily? That's just inefficient.
no subject
That's the whole point, though. It's why people yell in foreign languages all the time.