Video

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Movie marathons on the network seem to be a thing now don’t they? Glitch and Hiro have finally decided that life has sucked enough for them that they would rather watch other people’s fictional misery.

Hiro mostly doesn’t care what they watch, so he asked Glitch to bring something and then set up the living room of Aunt Cass’ place for viewing. Popcorn, gummi bears, the works. He’s even hauled in every pillow and beanbag he owns to make a den of cushions they can get lost in if necessary. (It often is when Hiro watches horror movies, as loathe as he is to admit it…)

Glitch pulls out a dvd from his bag and all but tosses the bag aside. His comm spills out unnoticed and both teens come into view as the thing begins to air live. ]

Didn’t really know what was good but I surfed the internet a bit and people said this was apparently really fucking good and A+ material. Figured out how to do that whole torrenty thing, so, ta-dah- free movie.

[The DVD is just in one of those standard no name cases on a plain old dvd. Unceremoniously Glitch will just shove the DVD into the player. Meanwhile, Hiro rolls his eyes affectionately. ]

Hey, good job. You caught up with the 21st century. C’mon, what’d you get us anyway?

[ The answer makes itself clear very quickly: some troll has replaced their crappy horror film with something even more horrifying. A home video of someone giving birth. Mercifully, Hiro knocks Glitch’s comm over before much gets broadcasted, although the comm still has a great view of their horrified reactions. Hiro is immediately yanking off his glasses so he doesn’t have to see any more details. ]

What the hell did you download!?

[Glitch is probably the worst of them. His mouth a gape as a hollowesc scream escapes his mouth. He has the curse of twenty twenty vision. What is his life?]

I DON’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW! I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME SHIT CALLED SQUIRRELNAMI! HOW WOULD I-OH MY GOD, WHAT’S COMING OUT OF HER?!

[There might be the sound of a woman screaming in pain at this point. It may be joined by Glitch’s own frightened yelling. He only manages between yells to direct a question they both desperately need answered: ]

SPIKES, HOW DO YOU TURN THIS SHIT OFF?!

Comments

[glitchinthesystem]

Ah, Ahhhhh! SICK! So, that's how it looks after the guy just pisses in the girl?! Bluuuugh!

[ Yes, Hiro....he said that. ]

[microbrobotics]

-- what? What the hell are you talking about now?

[glitchinthesystem]

Uh, basicallly what we just saw. That's how you make a kid. The guy goes down on the girl, he well does his thing that starts with that P letter, [pees is the word he refrains from saying again cause really, Hiro. You should know this.] and baby in nine months.

[microbrobotics]

... It doesn't involve peeing in her.

[ He hates this topic but cannot resist the need to be right. ]

comment not here

[dadroid]

[ WATCHING THIS CONVERSATION LIKE A HAWK ]

[glitchinthesystem]

What? But, school said it did back home. [ No, it probably didn't but it wasn't that great either. ]

[microbrobotics]

Dude, school is wrong. Just - ask someone else okay?

[glitchinthesystem]

For fuck sakes, fine. Just lets throw this out before your aunt finds out.

[ LITTLE DID THEY KNOW- ]

[microbrobotics]

[ Yeah um. As Hiro moves to get rid of the DVD, the first replies start rolling in. ]

Well crap.

[glitchinthesystem]

[ Slowly moving to his comm as he looks at it and then he looks to Hiro. His usual dark face is blanching a bit. ]

...Oh fuck, it didn't.

[microbrobotics]

It did. It totally did.

[glitchinthesystem]

....Welp.

It was nice knowing you, Hiro. I'm gonna go commit seppeku.

[microbrobotics]

Just turn it off, idiot. And that's not how you pronounce it.

[glitchinthesystem]

I can't now! I have to defend what little there is of my pride.

[ He huffs his cheeks for a moment before he shrugs. ]

...At least we did get scared? That's kind of what we were trying to accomplish. [ bright sides anyone? ]

[microbrobotics]

Dude, not the right kind of horrified.

[orions_shadow]

Oi! Glitch go read a book!

[glitchinthesystem]

I've read plenty of books, asshole!

[orions_shadow]

Read the one about reproductive health!

There is no peeing involved!

An I'm no asshole.

Yer just a goof.

[glitchinthesystem]

Oh my god, whatever. It's not like it's relevant to me. [ ...cricket, cricket. ]

[orions_shadow]

Pretty sure it's relevant t' everything with...

Well, you know.

[Okay now it's getting awkward. Look, biology is weird and gross and stuff just learn things.]

[glitchinthesystem]

Ugh, just drop it already! This is embarrassing enough as it is!

[orions_shadow]

Hurrhurr... [Yep, he laughs like that.]

Okay, okay. No more birds and the bees for you.

[glitchinthesystem]

I thought we were talking about children being born. What the fuck do birds and bees have to do with this?

[ omg just shut up, Glitch. ]

[orions_shadow]

Birds and the bees is a metaphor for sex, Glitch.

[glitchinthesystem]

....Oh my god, whyyyyyyyy....