[NO NO HELP FOR YOU. He finally has a BFF. Time to let out all the teasing he's kept pent up all these years.]

Because!

Oh, come on, dude. Hermann and Steve, sitting in a tree~ I never got to do this as a kid. You have to let me now. It's part of the Best Friend Agreement.

Turnabout is fair play, okay. You can do it when I'm a smitten kitten, too. But for now, that poor sod is you and you'll have to endure it, MY NEW ROOMIE.