[video]

[medalsome]

[Joaquin is still a little new to this video stuff, but it seems to be the best option for sharing information when you wanted to give an open and honest message. As it was, he had more of a question than anything. But getting his face out there wasn't a bad idea either.]

Hello, everyone! It's a lovely day today here in Heropa and I hope you all are enjoying it!

My name is Joaquin Mondragon and I'm new to this place, just getting to see the area and all that. I've been rather lucky to find most of my days free so far, but that won't last forever. I have a job to do just like everyone else, but I admit, I'm not sure what it all entails so...

[He shifts the camera a little, perhaps trying to keep the feed from showing how unsure he suddenly was.]

So! Do any of you know what it means to be a life coach?

Comments

[Video]

[hands4healing]

[You don't see a person, you see a dog rolling around on the grass and hear the voice of a young woman.]

I'm not sure what a life coach is but I guess it's someone who helps other people live their lives to their best abilities.

[medalsome]

[Well... Joaquin supposes he could be talking to a dog here, considering all the crazy stuff that seems to happen here, so he's going to try not to judge. Surely it's not the dog... Surely.]

Ah... y-yeah. That's what I was thinking, but how exactly does that qualify as a job?

[hands4healing]

[Zoey's smart but she hasn't learned to talk yet! Though she is making some funny noises while rolling in the grass.]

I don't know. This isn't my world. I've learned a lot of things since I've lived here but I've never heard the term.

[kingofthetvworld]

[Are you ready for the scientific breakthrough of a lifetime? Okay, here it goes:]

It's where you coach life.

[Brilliant.]

video

[khajidont]

[Oh hey there, roomie. Looks like you could use a little help!]

We-ell... I don't know what a life coach is, but Wikipedia says it's when you - [he stares down at the screen, clearly reading it off of it] - help people identify and achieve their personal goals. So I guess you just talk to them about what they want outta life, and then try to help them get there?

video;

[attainment]

You'll have a much better idea of what to do if you can identify your specialty -- who, exactly, you want to help, and what types of problems you want to help them solve. Your niche, in other words.

[video]

[justimprobable]

It means you get to tell people all sorts of excellent lies to get them to feel better about themselves. Should be a lot of fun, yeah?

[medalsome]

[Joaquin still wasn't sure how these communicators work. It's only a matter of time when he realizes he can speak through it hands-off as well, but until then he's going to be a little shocked by it all.]

Ah, that's understandable. I appreciate your wanting to help me out, though.

[That could easily have been the end of the conversation, but Joaquin had a sudden thought.]

Hey! Did you get assigned a job similar to what you did back at home or something unexpected?

[medalsome]

[Wow, Joaquin isn't sure what he should be looking at here. That's a fairly common state lately.]

Er... Great. [Blinks. Yeah.]

I mean, that's... certainly an observation, but what does it mean? Could you elaborate on what that entails?

[medalsome]

[Yes, please! He didn't think to ask Jamie before while he was all star-struck over just about everyday modern conveniences.]

Ah, that makes sense. Thank you, Jamie.

But... really? That sounds a little more like something a mentor or parent should do. Would someone really care about getting advice from someone they weren't familiar with?

[medalsome]

Oh.

[Oh.]

That might be a little difficult. This was the career they assigned me, so I haven't given it that kind of thought. Or even know where to start.

[medalsome]

Lies? Being paid to lie to someone shouldn't be a job!

[Seriously, what the hell?]

Are you sure?

[kingofthetvworld]

I dunno, get a whistle and blow at it? Tell it to run a few laps? You're the coach, not me.

[Life could probably use a little motivation, let's face it.]

[medalsome]

...What?

[Whistle? Laps? Wow, three sentences and you lost him Teddie. That might be a record.

He rubs at his one good eye with his fingers to try and stave off the tickle of a headache. This was too much.]

But that's the thing! I don't know how to be a coach! I haven't been trained in this. I'm a soldier!

[kingofthetvworld]

[Only three sentences? Damn, he's loosing his touch.]

A solider, huh? Phew! [He gives the biggest sigh of relief.] For a second there, I thought I was talking to a pirate. Who knows how grizzly that would've got!

[Never mind why he'd talk to a pirate in the first place.]

But it's okay, that's the best part about jobs! Nobody knows what the heck they're doing on the first day. That's why you always get someone who does to help you out. You'll be fiiiiine.

[medalsome]

[Pirates were from Europe but Joaquin wasn't going to argue that. As long as this fellow... person... thing? seemed happy...]

Glad to know you're happy about that.

Oh, we... we get an aid? [That was a huge relief! Joaquin could even crack a smile at that.] That's perfect! I wouldn't want to give any potential clients a bad impression on my first day.

[kingofthetvworld]

[Now that's more like it!]

They're called your "boss," and they'll always make sure you're on the right track. OH! But... you gotta be sneaky when you try to take your nap, okay? I could never figure out why, but for some reason they aren't so big on naptime.

[Maybe it's because they never take any themselves... It might explain why they can be so cranky.]

So you got all that? Are you feeling prebeared now?

[justimprobable]

There are lots of jobs where you're paid to tell people a certain thing, but it's not about lying. It's about making someone feel a certain way, no matter what you think about them. Sometimes that means telling a white lie, but if you truly believe in the good in everyone who comes to you, then it shouldn't be a problem.

[medalsome]

Oh, you were talking about having a boss. I see.

[That's not quite as reassuring. But surely they would assign him a secondary coach to help mentor him through the process. Right?]

Eh, you aren't really supposed to sleep on the job. That could be dangerous depending on what you're doing.

[Despite the odd advice Joaquin did suppose it relieved a little stress just talking to this guy. Though it was also stressing in its own way.]

... Yes, I suppose so. Thank you, fellow, uh, imPort!

[medalsome]

So... I have to tell people what they want to hear? Or what they expect to hear?

[That was actually much more familiar territory for him. He could do that as long as it didn't require mediating between two arguments.

As for believing in the good in everyone... That wasn't always the easiest for a pessimist like Joaquin.]

This still seems to be something more suited to people who are familiar with whoever wants this life coaching stuff. Can a stranger really coach someone in that kind of way?

[kingofthetvworld]

If I wasn't supposed to sleep on the job, then they wouldn't of had a mattress section in the first place! That's just rude, tempting me like that...

[But hey, if he doesn't want his nap, then fine. Maybe Teddie could find a way to take it as his own...]

Oh, and you can just call me Teddie if you want! No need to get all formally formal on me. B-But I really mean it, I hope your job goes okay. I know how scary the first day might seem, but nobody's that mean where they won't help you out.

[hands4healing]

Kind of. I was apprenticed to an automobile mechanic when I came here. I'm an engineer. I did learn a lot about cars but...I deal more with human bodies. I build prosthetics!

Now I work at StarkTech.

[Look at that cute dog. Now its joined by another, a multi-color puppy. They start romping around the yard.]

[text]

[thelimitdoesnotexist]

if it's like a gym leader I think you're halfway there.

Video

[pobrecisco]

Like, the kind that runs pyramid scheme seminars, or the legit kind? Because I think that's just called a therapist.

[khajidont]

They'd want advice from you because you're a professional. Which... you're clearly not, but you can at least give it a shot! This kind of thing happens a lot here.

[A distressing amount of imPorts get jobs in the public eye in which they have big responsibilities, and no idea how to do them. It's kind of terrible. Jaime's just relieved that he never got a job like that.]

You could always try and ask some of us imPorts for practice so you'll be a little more prepared once you actually go to work?