video

[performance]

[ SOME NERD is addressing the network today, dressed for fall with a fashionable blue scarf and sipping a cup of coffee. It's been a while. He's feeling chatty. ]

Question! Are there any responsible-ish pseudo-adult figures out there who'd be willing to give driving lessons? Someone — hint, it's me — is turning sixteen in December. Time flies! And I'd also like to fly. Ideally in a hover car. Ideally-er without crashing it into a tree.

Not-question: welcome, newbies! I'm Dick Grayson. I'm a Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach, computer programming, and electronics repair, I'm totally available for math tutoring, and I microwave a mean Hot Pocket.

And I've been here for about a year and a half, so if you need any questions answered, I can try really, really hard to give you more than just a giant question mark in response, but... well, there are still a lot of question marks. So here are a few quick answers to some common questions. Yes, this is actually happening, no, we don't know what the deal with the Porter is, yes, you really have superpowers now, and no, you don't have to put on a cape. But I totally support you if you do. You're doing important work, and almost everyone looks good in a cape. Science fact.

Comments

[performance]

Oh, please. It's okay to admit you just really really really want to see it.

[sidecars]

I admit nothing!

[performance]

That's practically an admission in itself!

[sidecars]

It's not! [ Ugh, you are getting the narrowed eyes, son. ] Just, shhh! [ He even holds his finger up to the camera. Put your snarky mouth right there please! ] Don't ruin the moment.

[performance]

[ He holds the comm up to his face obediently, succumbing to the shushing finger for just a moment before he bursts out laughing again. ]

I didn't know we were having a moment.

[sidecars]

[ Oh goddamnit! He can't keep a straight face at that. ]

Oh there was definitely a moment. It was back when you were so impressed with my infiltration ideas and my knowledge of the Russian language! Remember that moment? I liked that one.

[performance]

Oh, yeah, that was a good one! Let's go back to that. Say something Russian to me.

[sidecars]

Hmm, let me think... Something good. [ Bucky taps his fingers against his chin as he thinks. ] Okay.

Когда я борюсь нацистов я ношу колготки.

[performance]

[ He takes a minute with that, his brow furrowing. He knows some Russian, but he's an awful lot better at translating than speaking. And even so, that can't possibly mean what it sounds like it means.

Can it? ]

... The element of surprise?

[sidecars]

More like a trademark ass kicking. Everyone knows those tights!

[ Oh yeah, it's totally true. He knows your pain, pixie boots! ]

[performance]

[ Damn this secret identity. Now he's curious! ]

That can't be Army regulation!

[sidecars]

Uh, no, not exactly. Call it, ehh, Special Forces?

[ Bucky's is a thinly veiled secret easily exposed and no one seems to give two fucks. That works for him. ]

[performance]

[ Dick's absolutely going to follow up on it later. Not on an open network. However. ]

You lead an interesting life, Mr. Barnes.

[sidecars]

Something tells me you do, too, what with four somersaults supposedly under your belt.

[ He is gonna find out your secrets, mister. ]