I don't have an alternate personality who eats people, but I will eventually have an amalgamation of all my dark thoughts that put my past self on trial. That counts as embarrassing enough, right?

[ or maybe the amalgamation already happened since the Valeyard was supposed to be taken from somewhere between his twelfth and final body which is technically Ten and Eleven and I am thinking about Doctor Who too much, ~*sci-fi nonsense goes here*~ ]

And if you're plenty spidery, where are your spinnerets? I see a distinct lack of spinnerets.