maskormenace | experiment log 001 -- video

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experiment log 001 -- video

[Hello network, how are you today? Because your day is about to get a lot louder. The video function of the device turns on to show a woman's face. She's flushed, sweating, and clearly excited, judging by the way she's positively vibrating. She licks her lips before speaking.]

This. This little device. Do you have any idea, any IDEA how AMAZING this piece of technology is?! Instant transmission of data from one point to another! Text, images, MOVING images with sound! "Video", right? [she wiggles her fingers in excitement] If we had this sort of thing back home… ARRRGGGH!! [Suddenly she seems VERY DISTRESSED! She tangles her fingers in her hair and pulls] THIS LITTLE HUNK OF METAL AND GLASS AND… PLASTIC? IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT? IT MAKES OUR SMOKE SIGNAL SYSTEM LOOK LIKE CHILD'S PLAY. I don't know whether to be infuriated and embarrassed by how pathetic where I come from is, or….

[A pause where she stops moving and just stares at the camera. Then, as if nothing had happened, she goes back to smiling and vibrating]

No no no. I'll be happy! Happy, no, ECSTATIC, to be given the opportunity to play with this! Not to mention all of the other amazing technology here! The television! The horseless carriages! The flying machines! The internet! Oh Maria, the Internet! Who invented that?! I want to shake their hand! I want to kiss them! I want to give them my soul! It's the most IMPORTANT thing! Such volumes of information, all at one's fingertips! INSTANTLY! [how can one person get this worked up, it's truly remarkable. Is she…? Yes. She's actually steaming] This… this is truly what humanity can accomplish without the threat of Titans, without the government murdering everyone who comes up with an idea that might mess with their precious status quo! Haaaa… I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. [oops, she seems to be running out of steam, so to speak]

I think… I actually… eeueeeh...

[she doesn't get to finish that sentence as her eyes rolls back in her head and she collapses out of view of the camera, landing with a "thud" on the ground. She got so excited that she just passed out. Eventually the feed times out]

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[It's not that it takes Jean a long time to respond, but that he thinks a response might take a moment to settle in (or even be heard in her current state), so he doesn't speak right away. He does, however, rewatch it, noting that steaming as being an actual thing on the second time through.

When five or so minutes have passed, he speaks carefully:]

—Squad Leader?

[The behavior is eccentric, but that's common, something that he's seen quite a bit in his recent history. Even the excitement about the technology doesn't catch him off-guard, what with Armin's own tears at the sight of the ocean.

It levels him off enough, though some part of him wishes (hopes) that the others will notice this soon.]

Edited 2014-05-22 23:01 (UTC)

[give her about ten minutes, Jean. Total overload of technology. And she hasn't even been to the sea yet. That's next on her list, after she grows accustomed to all the super neat stuff that modern life has to offer. She clicks the video back on when it pings cheerfully at her, informing her of an incoming message.

She's still sweaty and red, but she seems a bit more composed after her impromptu nap]

Cadet Kirstein? [she lights up] You're here as well!! That's truly amazing, considering I just saw you not but a few hours ago!

[GASP.]

That means...! This place is even MORE amazing than I thought! Pulling people not only out of their home universes and bequeathing supernatural abilities, but also out of the flow of time!! Do you realize how many laws of physics this contradicts, cadet?! Of course you don't. No, no, not contradict... Change! Hiieeeeeeh!! AMAZING!

Edited 2014-05-22 23:15 (UTC)

[...wow...

He might disagree 100% but he doesn't think he's seen anybody be so enthusiastic about anything before. And he's including himself when he discovered close-harmony girl groups.]

Hello? Are you still alive?

[Despite his criticisms of his superiors in close proximity to Armin and the other trainees, as well as well as a tendency to just not shut his mouth when he should, he tends to hold those under a tight lid when actually dealing with those who have superior rank to him.

So despite her exaggerated and emphatic response, he decides to keep it short.]

Sounds like you've got the gist of it so far.

It's not just me that they grabbed. Commander Smith and Captain Levi are here as well. [There's a beat, because he assumes they are the most immediate of concern to her.] As well as most of our squad ... [The current one.] Including Eren. [Which is a notable thing, considering where he was last time.

Informing her of these things seems important, at least, and his way of communicating the information is straightforward, as if he's giving a report. It's necessary.]

Edited (html!!!) 2014-05-22 23:35 (UTC)

Hello!

[it takes her a while to get back up, but when she does, she seems to be better. Still ridiculously excited, though she's attempting to keep it controlled. Somewhat. It leaks out in his voice]

Yes, yes, very much alive! I've never been better, in fact! To whom am I speaking?

[wise, Mr. Kirstein. Very wise. Not that Hange particularly cares what the cadets think of her; she knows good and well her reputation among the corps. But when push comes to shove, she got shit done, and that was all that mattered.

As is her way, she immediately becomes more serious, adjusting her glasses and rubbing her chin thoughtfully]

Is that so. And Eren, as well. That certainly is lucky for us, though if my preliminary research is correct, it has exactly zero impact on our situation at home. Are Commander Smith and Levi the only other officers present, cadet? How long have you been here? Did you receive "powers" as well? [she picks up her folder from the nearby end table and waggles it at the camera for emphasis]

[The first thing Erwin hears when he checks his phone in over a week is of course, Hange.

And for a moment, he wonders if it's the pain medications but no, that's really her voice. He might even have smiled a little and when he speaks, his voice is rough as if he's been sleeping for the last week, which, he has been.]

The internet will even work when it rains but I don't believe it would work in the same situation as the signal flares in the formation.

Welcome, Hange.

Commander! ... Er... Former Commander? ... ERWIN! Cadet Kirstein informed me you were here as well, but it sure is nice to hear your voice! But you ... ah... you sound unwell. Are you alright?

And truly!! The internet is the most amazing invention I've encountered so far! It's as if millions of libraries were linked together! ... Ah, of course, there are other things. Less savory things. Ehehe..

[Former Commander? There is a pause, he had always had a plan for Hange to take over after him as he knew how replaceable he was, had to be but it still takes him by surprise. But this isn't the time to ask the particulars.]

I'm fine, please don't worry. Where are you at currently?

You must not have been here long then. You'll find humanity has indeed advanced far beyond what any of us could imagine.

[more of that time madness, yargh]

Hieeeeh! You can't tell me not to worry and expect me not to worry more!! ... Oh, I'm in... Flo....rida? Ah, more specifically, house #019. Where are you? I should come to you!! I think we have much to discuss!

I just arrived a few hours ago, sir! And already I've fainted three times from the overwhelming progress of this place! It's amazing! And... well. Is "culture shock" the appropriate phrase, here? It certainly makes our meager technology look like Titan vomitus.

I take it you're in Heropa then? Oh good, could you find yourself to #028? I will meet you there. [Holding the phone with one hand was a bit troublesome. And he doesn't bother to tell her to knock because knowing Hange, he'll hear her when she arrives]

Have you seen the ocean yet?

Um. Are you okay? Should I send Mr. Levi over? I can explain anything you want, just stop hyperventilating.

[It's a tiny blond child sitting in a pile of stuffed animals and looking concerned.]

You know Levi?! [a pause] ... That's funny. He never struck me as being good with children. You think you know a man!

Hahah! I'm fine, I'm fine!! I'm just very excited, is all!

That doesn't make the worry go away, you know. Silly man. [OH YES THAT] Heropa, yes!! I think I can! Haha! I assume the numbers work the same, here! I will be there as soon as I can!

[grabbing her phone and heading out the door, now]

The... the ocean? You mean, the giant lake with salty water? Like in the books?! No, I haven't! That's here?!!

[Valeria babysat Levi and Erwin until they learned how to use coffee makers and crosswalks. Levi picked up vacuum cleaners quickly on his own, though.]

They needed help with their gear.

[Aside from her high-pitched voice, Val sounds nothing like a child.]

[You are the only one who could ever call him that and get away with it, Hange.]

I will see you shortly then, Hange. Try not to faint again.

And yes, I will show you when you get here.

[it's a term of endearment. YOU ARE SILLY. So silly.]

[She goes quiet, more than likely having hung up the phone. It's not but a few minutes until she arrives at #28. As expected, she doesn't knock, simply bursts in, still dressed in her uniform and cloak. She breathes hard and is as red as a beet (with perhaps a few wisps of steam coming off of her, sweat evaporating into the air) and she calls out.

Loudly.

Because inside voices are a lie]

ERRRRWWWWWIIINNNNN! Haaa... It's so hot here! Are you hot? I'm hot.

[for more than one reason. She yanks off her cloak and jacket and throws it on the ground]

Edited 2014-05-23 00:38 (UTC)

[Bless you child, ensuring that her boys didn't get run over by horseless carriages or put metal in the microwave. Bless.]

Ah, their maneuver gear? Really?

[It doesn't seem to bother Hange much. She's used to children who have grown up too fast. The only thing she's surprised about is Levi tolerating a child, no matter how mature]

........Are you okay?

[Kotetsu doesn't know if you were actually serious about the smoke signals or not but. Priorities, here.]

[after she's recovered from her most recent fainting spell...]

Perfectly! Ahaha! Never better, in fact!! Hello, how are you? Are you enjoying this beautiful day? I am! Even though it's so hot! I am going to need a significantly lighter wardrobe! [she shrugs off her green cloak] Everyone here sure is friendly to worry about a complete stranger like me!

Just the blades so far. I don't have the facilities to fix up the actual maneuvering parts yet.

[Also she's grounded on account of the aforementioned blade improvements. Or, rather, on account of her forging Doctor Doom's signature on the permission slip Erwin sent home with her before he would agree to let her do the work.

He tried.]

[Urgently:]

Ma'am, please do calm down. It is remarkable, but you seem to be causing yourself considerable duress.

[Look, even the meth addict thinks she needs to calm down.]

...Wow.

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