Blend #3 - Video

[beenwaitinglong]

I am a lawyer. My life's work is to steep myself in the darkness of humanity. But human beings as a whole are fascinated by the dark.

[Then the video feed clicks on, showing Godot sitting at his desk. The lighting is low, the red glow of his visor and the dim light from the shades behind him the only source, though his white mug in his hand stands out easily.

So do the six other white mugs on his table.]

The unknown, the mysterious, the unfathomed and the feared. It surrounds us. It intimidates us. We watch in horror as it takes our fellow men. We cower and dread the day it will swallow us whole.

And yet, we cannot help but stare back into it. Despite the bitter pain it brings us, we return time and again, and we wonder how far it goes and where.

[This could very well be in reference to a certain dark figure who was arrested a few days ago. And it seems it may be, right up until he adds, with a smirk:]

Maybe that is why we drink the darkness that is coffee.

[He punctuates that sentence with a deep gulp from his mug, finishing it off.]

I am merely a humble enthusiast of bitter black magic. However, I have toiled at the altar of her darkest roasts for many years. It's occurred to me that I should capitalize on such toil.

Therefore, as a side business, I've decided I will provide limited batches of my Godot blends to interested parties for a nominal fee. Pricier than the swill you'll get at the corner store, but I dare say one of the finest cups you'll ever sip, provided you make it correctly.

[He shoots a brief glance at the camera. You are going to make his coffee correctly, if you partake.]

If you're interested, and if you think you can handle the pitch black perfection of my work, feel free to get in touch.

In the meantime... [He reaches for another cup of coffee, as well as for a stack of papers off to the side on his desk.] I am embroiled in the darkness of ink and paper.

[Yes, he absolutely must make a big production about absolutely everything.]

Comments

[beenwaitinglong]

...

[He's laughing at you, Edgeworth.]

[glassinine]

Wh...What?

[beenwaitinglong]

I couldn't make you up if I tried, Edgeworth.

[glassinine]

What is that supposed to mean?

[beenwaitinglong]

All that poetry, and you're worried about whether or not I have the correct business license.

You're like someone drew a cartoon of a lawyer and it came to life and donned a cravat.

[glassinine]

Well, forgive me if you find this uninteresting, but I tend to find issues of proper business licenses rather more vital than issues of poetry.

[beenwaitinglong]

What are you going to do, turn me in?

[glassinine]

If you were breaking the law, it would be my obligation to do so.

[beenwaitinglong]

Well, rest easy. It's cottage food.

[glassinine]

Hm. You are using the proper disclaimers on your products?

[beenwaitinglong]

Such as?

[glassinine]

That it was made in a place not subject to normal food safety standards.

[beenwaitinglong]

[Aw shit, son, you did not just-]

Are you suggesting I don't take care in preserving the sanctity of my coffee?

[glassinine]

I'm saying that's a requirement if you don't have a license to run a food manufacturing business.

[beenwaitinglong]

[He is totally taken aback and insulted over here, but he'll try to move past that.]

I think you're overestimating the size of this venture.

[glassinine]

Size doesn't matter. Those are the requirements.

[beenwaitinglong]

I'll make labels then, you absolute killjoy.

[glassinine]

Good. I'm glad of it.

[beenwaitinglong]

[The butthurt is palpable.]

Spoken with the brush-off of a man who has never even tried the perfection of my blends, and yet insists I denounce them on their very packaging.

[glassinine]

[Oh, dear God.]

You can take off the disclaimer if you get the proper licenses.

[beenwaitinglong]

[You can call him a delusional nutjob with a severe case of denial all you want, but never badmouth the coffee.]

And remodel a commercial kitchen, I imagine.

[glassinine]

Bring it up to standards, yes.

[beenwaitinglong]

If I had the money to do that, I wouldn't be selling my coffee in small batches.

[glassinine]

And so the disclaimer will remain.

[beenwaitinglong]

Did you come out of the womb as fussy as you are, or did that develop over time?