006 | voice

[textualhealing]

I’m going to be honest with you here network, I’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just needed some time apart from all the self-congratulating, needy social media bullcrap that this network breeds. I mean, it’s no Rumblr, but sometimes it comes a close second.

Pro tip: if it’s not about me I’m just not interested. [Hopefully that’s a joke, but there’s a big possibility it isn’t.]

But I’m here to extend the olive branch of apology for depriving you of my company for a long ass amount of time, and also remind you that the second season of my show finished airing not so long ago, so buy that shit when it’s on DVD so I can get your money. Or… a very small percentage of it.

[Best salesman ever.]

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, Jeff, do tell!

[Chilton supported his friend! Through gossip!]

[textualhealing]

No! You'll just be a dick about it.

[slightlyoffchilt]

And that is unusual?

[textualhealing]

Well no, it's expected, but that's why I refuse.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Hmm. I don't believe you have anyone at all.

[textualhealing]

I know you're just trying to get me to tell you. I'm not stupid.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Why would you think that people think you're stupid?

[textualhealing]

Because! This isn't a therapy session! Why do you care who it is anyway?

[slightlyoffchilt]

What if I want to ensure she is good enough for you?

[textualhealing]

Not like that's going to be a problem. Lets be honest, the woman is never going to be the issue in any relationship with me.

[There's a reason Jeff can't have any girlfriends and that's because he's probably a piece of shit or something. Probably. He assumes.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh my god, is it Doctor Quinzel?

[textualhealing]

What?! No! It's not... did she mention me?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh my god, it is. It is Doctor Quinzel.







You are not allowed into my hospital, Jeff Winger.

[textualhealing]

I didn't say it was! I just wanted to know if maybe she'd said something to you. About me being hot? Or having lots of money? I dunno.

The woman I'm talking about is someone totally different and definitely not Harley.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You're on notice. I feel obligated to tell you that, I do take protection of my staff seriously. [Sometimes.] I would feel the same had I any suspicious about you and Mr. Mantle.

[textualhealing]

... Why would you ever have suspicions of me and Reggie?!

[slightlyoffchilt]

I mean... Need I explain it? Really?

[textualhealing]

Uh, apparently? Seeing as I don't understand why you'd think me going after a teen boy is in anyway normal when you've got way hotter staff members.

[slightlyoffchilt]

"Way hotter"? [Just to be a dick:] You ought to tell Rincewind how you feel. He might appreciate it.

[textualhealing]

You know I mean Harley!

[slightlyoffchilt]

So you are interested in her?

[textualhealing]

I hate you so much.

[slightlyoffchilt]

So sweet. Be sure to schedule a day for us to hit up a bar.

[textualhealing]

You're taking me to dinner, don't think I forgot! And while we're there we can discuss you're weirdly overprotective thing you've got going on with your employees.

[slightlyoffchilt]

You are suddenly quite bossy.