( It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

That is what's going through Sarissa's mind, or rather, what she is trying to ignore. )

Well, we can't help it when people are enamored. I keep getting pulled over by the cops, myself. They can't get enough of me. Must be real sad to be that lonely.