video

[rathercommon]

[ Oh, look, it's Kitty Jones. She seems a little tired - though you'd only know it by looking at her. Her voice is unchanged from normal. Indeed, she speaks with her typical firm bubbliness - a cheerful, kindly tone and an adorably youthful London accent obscuring the fact that her speech is (as usual) a bit on the manipulative/calculating/forceful/aggressive side. ]

Hullo, all. First, a job offer. I run a charity garage. It does pretty good work - we fix up and build really, really good cars, and sell 'em to the richer members of the local populace, and then the proceeds go to fund public transit in Heropa. Anyway. I recently... [ Just a little flicker in her smile. ] Lost an employee. So if there's anyone out there who's good with cars or mechanics or whatever, I definitely want you.

[ And now to the less businesslike portion of her announcement: ]

Anyway. Obviously there's been a lot of talk of elections lately, and there's also been a lot of cynicism about the whole electoral process. For obvious reasons. Since there are some politicians who are lunatic idiots. So I guess I just wanted to throw this out there, 'cause all of you have so much different experience from different worlds.

Who had power, where you're from? What was the government like? And were they good - just - or unjust? What do you think's the best form of government? How much power should the people in charge have?

And if you could build a government, build a country from scratch, what would it look like? Would you limit the freedom of the press, or would everyone have the right to speak? Would you build social programs, or would you leave people to fend for themselves? Would you go after warfare and expanding your borders, or would people live in peace?

[ These questions are a little bit leading. Perhaps. ]

Anyway. Share your thoughts, please.

Comments

[princeofrats]

They seem pretty okay with a principal... what you said. I don't tell them how they should live, mostly I make sure they stay away from traps and don't go into restaurants where they could scare people. Scared people get stupid.

... They made a movie about a rat running a restaurant, once. You'd think people would be more okay with it.

[rathercommon]

Well, all of that means it's not really a government, doesn't it.

[princeofrats]

I never said they had one. Rats are way smarter than people, they've already got that stuff figured out. They don't run around forming committees and arguing with each other and never actually getting stuff done.

[rathercommon]

Well - I mean you. You're not really a government if you're not telling them what to do.

[princeofrats]

I'm not a government, I'm a prince. I make sure they're safe.

[rathercommon]

Except that a prince is a sort of government, isn't he. If all you do is make sure they're safe, that makes you a... [ Hm. ] A guardian.

[princeofrats]

Is he? You keep asking questions without the questioning part.

I know what I am. They're my people, and I'm their prince.

[rathercommon]

Why don't you be their president instead?

[princeofrats]

[ he actually wrinkles his nose at that, as if Kitty had just suggested he switch careers and become an accountant. ]

And do paperwork? No thanks.

[rathercommon]

[ With a cluck of annoyance - ]

No one said anything about paperwork. It'd just be a change in titles. One that would keep you from promoting bloody monarchism.

[princeofrats]

That's what presidents do! They do paperwork and make big speeches in front of everybody, and they have to wear suits! No way! I'm not promoting anything either, it's not like I'm handing out pamphlets!

[rathercommon]

Yeah, well, princes also issue orders and live in hideous ornate palaces and practice absolutism. D'you do any of that?

[princeofrats]

I live in a house and back home I live in my sewer-castle, and I'm not sure what absolutism is, but I'm pretty sure I don't do it! You've never read any good stories with princes in them, have you?

[rathercommon]

No, I haven't, because they're all either base propaganda or fairy-tales. That's not the point, though.

[princeofrats]

That's totally the point, you're just missing it.

[rathercommon]

What, it's the point 'cause I'd have been programmed to like princes?

[princeofrats]

No, it's the point 'cause you'd know what the good ones are supposed to be like!

[rathercommon]

Fine. Tell me what the good ones are supposed to be like.

[princeofrats]

[ Mouse starts ticking things off on his fingers. ]

Compassionate, generous, noble, brave, and they always help their people. There's this thing called Knobless Oblijay, it means that doing all that stuff is part of being a prince.

[ One of the rats helpfully brings him a ballpoint pen and a restaurant flier ('Thanks, Maurice!'), and after a few moments of intent scribbling, Mouse holds up a quick drawing of a rat wearing a little crown. ]

Like that.