05 | voice

[oceanthief]

When Homeworld started investigating this system, we checked all the stars near potential colonies for stability. Everyone was really excited about this planet because its sun had a pretty decent lifespan, so we wouldn't have to do any shielding for a while.

[or. something. Lapis never really paid any particular attention to the reports that came in about earth, because why would she? it was just a little mudball in some podunk galaxy.]

Is that not how it works on this earth? I can't really think of why else you'd be trying to ration sunlight, but...it's kind of stupid. Unless you're storing it somewhere to use later it's not going to make any difference, and I really don't think humans have that kind of technology yet.

[at least not on this version of the planet, anyway. she really has no idea what 'daylight savings time' could mean aside from this, and it's got her completely mystified. that at least is a familiar feeling when it comes to humanity, even if it's not all that pleasant.]

You guys don't even have that much time to start with. Do you really need to complicate it this much?

[and if the sun is dying...why bother squabbling between insubstantial nationstates when there was such a big problem looming over them all? it was all so dumb.]

Comments

[valuemeal]

That's got to just count for your world.

[ Because any other thought than that is... kind of terrifying... ]

I can't imagine stuff like that being out there in my world and there never having been even a sign of it. [ PLEASE NO WEIRD PSYCHO GEM MONSTERS IN HIS WORLD. ]

[oceanthief]

How do you know there aren't any signs? You probably just haven't realized what you're looking at yet.

[considering how long it takes humans to get into space in apparently every universe ever, after all...]

[valuemeal]

... Then what kind of signs are you saying show the existence of you gem people?

[ Not.. that he's sure if he wants to know. But he's asking anyway. ]

[oceanthief]

We show up.

[gems are...not subtle in the least. there's none of that crop circle bullshit, just a neat little touchdown and total colonization.]

[valuemeal]

I think someone would have announced it on the news already if you guys existed and showed up. You're not exactly subtle.

[ Whether he means in looks or personality is another story entirely. Probably both, honestly. ]

[oceanthief]

Of course we're not in this universe. Homeworld doesn't even exist here, that'd be impossible.

[she says like this should be common knowledge. ok, Lapis.]

[valuemeal]

[ Why don't you go check your Homeworld privilege, Lapis!! ]

If it doesn't exist here, then it better not exist where I come from either... [ Because after meeting Lapis, he's pretty sure he'd rather just not deal with any of these gem people ever again. ]

[oceanthief]

[joke's on you she totally betrayed Homeworld before coming here!!!]

I guess you'll find out if they ever decide to colonize.

[her voice is the same flat stoicism as always, but...well, maybe she's teasing him. just a little.]

[valuemeal]

[ ...

He might be growing a little pale. ]

Colonize?

[ That.. doesn't sound fun... He doesn't want a whole bunch of Lapis-like territorial overlords!! The teasing is an absolute success, at least. ]

[oceanthief]

Yeah. [this is dangerous, allowing Lapis to have fun. even more than assuming she's a murderer.] But don't worry, we're really efficient. It won't take that long.

[valuemeal]

[ That's exactly the kind of stuff the dentist tells you before he puts you through terrible trials. Hyunsoo won't be fooled by that kind of talk!! ]

W-what kind of stuff do you guys do to people?! [ Because in his mind Lapis is already perfectly capable of mass murder.. so who knows how much worse it could get. His mind certainly is already drifting off to nightmare scenarios. ]

[oceanthief]

We don't do anything to people; when we colonize, we're looking for what the planet can offer, not what's on top of it.

[more reassuring? less reassuring? she makes no attempt to discern the answer.]

[valuemeal]

[ He'll take it as slig.. htly more assuring? At least it means no weird alien experiments like you always see in the movies.

It's enough to calm him down a little bit, at least.. If anything, he sounds a little suspicious. Can't trust that gem folk. ]

What do you guys even need from another planet then? Is the planet you guys come from that boring?

[oceanthief]

Space, mostly. Kindergartens take up a lot of room.

[valuemeal]

[ ...... ]

You gem people have child care problems?

[ This might just be the weirdest thing about them that he's heard from Lapis. Ever. And that's saying a lot, considering he's heard enough weird things. At least this fact doesn't scare the shit out of him, if not just because it feels so oddly.. normal. Domestic. What even. ]

[oceanthief]

No, we come out fully formed.

[oh, here we go again...]

[valuemeal]

[ It's saying something that he isn't even thinking of how dangerous he thinks Lapis is here for a moment. The idea of all this is so weird it just cancels that straight out. ]

So you have fully grown adults running around in kindergarten?! [ That's even worse?? ]

[oceanthief]

There's not really a lot of running. The holes are pretty small.

[valuemeal]

[ H... oles....? ]

I'm slowly starting to understand why you're so messed up.

[ Because gem people are weird and raised in holes??? Like cavemen? ]

[oceanthief]

That doesn't have anything to do with a kindergarten. There wasn't anything wrong with my formation.

[all that shit came later]

[valuemeal]

Being left in a hole by your parents sounds like the kind of history you'd expect a serial killer to have though.

[ And even then it might still be exaggerated. Kind of. ]

[oceanthief]

[oh, oh wait. she knows that word - oh thank god, she can actually respond to this one properly. this is exciting.]

Gems don't have parents.

[valuemeal]

[ There's about ten different creepy scenarios about how gems are born then going through his mind right now.. It might be why he's starting to sound a little more hesitant again. ]

What do you have then...?

[oceanthief]

What do you mean? We don't have anything instead.

[she's assuming he means 'what do you have instead of parents', and this answer is correct. Homeworld creates new gems, but there's nothing that raises them or teaches them. it's all preloaded.]

[valuemeal]

[ That'd also explain a lot...

Still a little hesitant to press on this though. If not just because he really doesn't want to hear details of gem people sex or something, he'll die of embarrassment. He's already blushing a little to himself at the mere thought. ]

No, I mean-- where do you come from?