text - absence makes the heart grow until it explodes

[h2no]

YO.

I KNOW THERE'S ONE THING A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE BECAUSE WE ALL GET IT: HOMESICKNESS.
I KNOW EVERYONE IS MISSING THEIR HOME AND THEIR FRIENDS. I'D BE SURPRISED IF THERE'S PEOPLE HERE WHO AREN'T.
NOT TO SAY IF YOU AREN'T THAT YOU'RE A WEIRDO, OF COURSE, I SUPPOSE YOU'RE JUST A BIT LUCKIER.
NOW, I'M NOT GONNA ASK YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MISS OR THE PLACES YOU MISS. THAT WON'T HELP, IT'LL PROBABLY JUST MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE.
I AIN'T EVEN GONNA GIVE A BIG SPEECH ABOUT HOW WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER AND WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT CRAP AIN'T GONNA HOLD UP.
BACK HOME I HAD A LARGE TEAM OF PEOPLE WHO VARIED IN AGES. A LOT OF THEM GOT HOMESICK AND WHEN IT OVERWHELMED THEM THEY WENT ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
THING IS, IT'S REAL EASY TO LET IT OVERWHELM YOU.
MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU MISS. EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU THINK IS SILLY, LIKE THE TREE THAT WAS NEAR WHERE YOU LIVED, OR A CAFE THAT DID THE BEST VERSION OF A FLAT WHITE COFFEE YOU'VE EVER TASTED.
ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF. EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT FROM EARTH. I GUARANTEE YOU THERE WILL BE SOMETHING HERE THAT IS SIMILAR ENOUGH IT'LL BE LIKE BEING AT HOME. EVEN IF IT'S JUST A GIANT ROCK THAT'S THE SAME SHAPE.
NOT TO MENTION GETTING OUT AND GETTING FRESH AIR ALWAYS HELPS.
DO STUFF YOU DID AT HOME. DON'T GET WRAPPED UP IN THE FACT THAT IT'S NOT THE SAME. YOU HAVE TO ADAPT TO HELP YOURSELF, THAT'S LIFE.
BUT THAT THE SAME TIME... DON'T SINK INTO IT. DON'T THINK OF NOTHING BUT WHAT YOU MISS.
IGNORING IT WON'T WORK, BUT NEITHER WILL DIVING INTO IT.
FIND A BALANCE.
DON'T LET IT OVERWHELM YOU.

Comments

[oceanthief]

No, I borrowed the ocean. Apparently that really bothers humans.

[and also fused with a psychotic single-minded nutcase to form an even larger and more powerful psychotic monster which she them trapped at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity at the cost of her own individuality but HAHAHAHA NOT GETTING INTO THAT TODAY]

[h2no]

YEAH, A LOT OF STUFF KIND OF NEEDS THE OCEANS TO LIVE.
NOT JUST HUMANS, BUT INNOCENT CREATURES WHO ARE JUST TRYING TO LIVE THEIR LIVES AS WELL.
YOU HAVEN'T DONE IT HERE SO FAR, THOUGH. I DON'T THINK.
I THINK WE'D NOTICE IF YOU DID.
DID YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO OR BECAUSE YOU HAD TO?

[oceanthief]

It's not like I left anything behind when I took it.

[all those innocent creatures just got to have an existential revelation upon seeing space for the first and only time in their lives.]

I thought I could use it to get back home.




It was stupid.

[h2no]

THAT'S GOOD OF YOU. YOU COULD'VE LET THEM ALL DIE BUT YOU CHOSE NOT TO.

[lol kids shows]

I DON'T THINK IT WAS STUPID.
I THINK DOING SOMETHING THAT BIG AND RISKY MEANT YOU FELT YOU HAD NO OTHER CHOICE, RIGHT?
BELIEVE ME, I'VE BEEN THERE.
IT INVOLVED THE OCEAN TOO, FUNNILY ENOUGH.
IT WOULD BE HYPOCRITICAL OF ME TO JUDGE YOU FOR IT.

[oceanthief]

It probably would've been more work to pick them all out, honestly.

[she very rarely feels like a 'good' person, and so she's a little leery of accepting any sort of praise that seems to imply such. nothing Lapis did ever seemed to helped when it mattered.]

It didn't really feel like a big deal until everyone else started treating it that way. I just

I wanted to go home. I really thought I could stretch it far enough to get there.

[that was what was so stupid about the whole thing.]

[h2no]

THIS PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO MEAN SHIT, COMING FROM A HUMAN, BUT DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR BEING PUSHED TO THAT LEVEL OF DESPERATION.
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM MY OWN PLANET AND SHOVED ONTO ANOTHER ONE.
SURE, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT HAPPENED HERE, BUT AT LEAST I'M SURROUNDED BY MY OWN STUPID RACE.
IF YOU WANTED TO LEAVE THAT BADLY, IT'S NO WONDER YOU WERE PUSHED TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[oceanthief]

It doesn't really matter. The place I wanted to get back to hasn't existed for thousands of years.

[h2no]

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA TRY AND SAY I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
BECAUSE I AM CERTAIN I DON'T.
BUT FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I'M SORRY.
I DON'T THINK ANYONE SHOULD LOSE THEIR HOME LIKE THAT.

[oceanthief]

It's fine. Whether something should or shouldn't happen doesn't really change anything.

[her Homeworld was still gone. her future was still dead. no feelings would ever alter that.]

[h2no]

OF COURSE NOT.
ONCE SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED, WORDS DON'T USUALLY MEAN ANYTHING.
I KNOW THIS QUITE INTIMATELY TOO.
BUT IT MAKES IT A LITTLE BIT EASIER IF YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FACT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING UNBELIEVABLY ROUGH - THAT YOU'RE BEING PUSHED TO YOUR COPING LIMIT.
MAYBE EVEN BREAKING IT.

[oceanthief]

Nobody can break me.

[it was one of the few things that Lapis was still proud of in her life. no matter what the universe tried to do, they could never truly break her will. her sense of self was all that she really had left.]

People always leave, whether they care about you or not. You have to be able to build walls that you can live with if you want to get through something.

[h2no]

AYE, I'M NOT GONNA SAY YOU'RE WRONG.
ACTUALLY, YOU'RE WILDLY RIGHT.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF.

[oceanthief]

I don't mean actual walls.

[and that's it, the moment's gone.]

[h2no]

NO SHIT.
I MEAN, DON'T DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM PEOPLE.
DON'T BECOME SOMEONE THAT CAN'T ASSIMILATE ANYMORE.
THAT WOULD BE BAD.

[oceanthief]

It's fine. I never really understood humans in the first place.

[h2no]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE'RE A STUPID, WEIRD BUNCH.
HOW MUCH DO YOU INTERACT WITH THEM?
MAYBE LEARNING ABOUT HUMANS WOULD BE FUN.
IT'S BEEN PRETTY COOL TO LEARN ABOUT THE ALIENS HERE, FOR ME.

[oceanthief]

I'm on a planet full of them. I see them every day.

[have you...not noticed, Archie...]

[h2no]

[HE HAS A POINT HE'S GETTING TO LISTEN]

I KNOW. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FACT EVERY TIME WE'VE HAD A CONVERSATION ALL MY HUMAN...ISMS HAVE FIZZLED OUT.
NOW, I KNOW THIS IS EXTREMELY ETHNOCENTRIC OF ME, BUT.
SURPRISINGLY.
I AM NOT THE ONLY HUMAN LIKE THIS. I'M LIKE THIS FOR A REASON.

[that's right. there's more.]

[oceanthief]

I know, you're not far enough along on your evolutionary path to get past all that weird stuff yet.

[that's what she figures, anyway. organics are w e i r d.]

[h2no]

THE WEIRD STUFF IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF HUMANITY, ACTUALLY.

[oceanthief]

No, I'm pretty sure you'll grow out of most of it.

[h2no]

WHY DO YOU THINK WE HAVE TO?

[oceanthief]

You're never going to get anywhere if you can't communicate outside your own species.

[h2no]

I'VE DONE FINE WITH THE OTHER SPECIES HERE.

[oceanthief]

Not all of them.