004 | text

[hardedged]

[ hello, heroes. it's been a while since jessica jones popped up on the network. months, in fact. while she prefers to wallow in misery, an urgent need has compelled her presence tonight. namely booze. she's running out of cash, and she's too proud to beg for a drink. desperate times and all.

along with her post, there's an attachment with her phone number and directions to her address — a small, crapass apartment in maurtia falls. it's apt, if you know her. ]

Never been great at this PR shit, but here goes nothing.

Opened a business. While back. Alias Investigations.

Name's Jessica Jones. Private investigator. Reasonable rates. Damn good at what I do. Ask around if you want.

Trying to find a missing person? Or looking to catch a cheating asshole in the act? Come on in.

[ #nailedit ]

Comments

text;

[coppelganger]

do you gotta take a class to call yourself a private investigator, or is it something anyone can do?

[hardedged]

License. Lots of paperwork. Real fancy shit.

[ but pretty much anyone can do it, even her drunk ass. she's proof of that. ]

text;

[shutterbugged]

Wait, Jessica Jones? New Avengers Jessica Jones? How in the heck did I not notice you getting here?

[hardedged]

Who the hell are you?

his comm ID has both his name and codename btw!

[shutterbugged]

Peter Parker?

We went to high school together? In my universe, anyway. We didn't talk much but I think you sat behind me in one of my classes...any of this ringing a bell?

[ He's saving the "also I was and technically still am on a super-team with your husband" part until he's figured out where on her timeline she is. ]

[coppelganger]

make good money?

[hardedged]

Decent. [ enough for booze. ] Why? You signing up as competition?

[coppelganger]

i'm always looking for a new way to make some cash.

sounds good! i'm sorry for her, peter

[hardedged]

Yep. You're crazy.

[ no classmate from her world that fits that description. and well, the peter parker from her world is much younger, not to mention a stranger, while the spider-man there is a bit ahead of her time. ]

[shutterbugged]

[ Wow. Matt wasn't kidding when he said the Jessica of their universe had mellowed after switching from a mature to an all-ages book since she and Luke got together. ]

Okay, look. You're here, so you're familiar with the idea of alternate universes. A lot of imPorts here have home universes which are variants of each other, so...I guess in yours we haven't crossed paths yet. Or I live in Newark and we're never going to meet because who would willingly go to Newark who doesn't live there, anyway? Or my dad had a childhood accident with a backyard croquet set and I don't exist.

Do they have an Avengers, where you're from? Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, all those guys? [ Those seem to be the names that come up most often. ] Or the names Luke Cage and Matt Murdock, do those ring a bell?

[hardedged]

Yeah? What're you doing now to pay the bills?

[hardedged]

[ yes, most of those names ring a bell, though she'd rather dismiss this conversation before it even begins. but ah, there peter goes, saying the magic words. ]

What about Luke?

[coppelganger]

nothing much.

[ She hasn't driven a cab in months and is just living off money she made dealing meth for Jesse Pinkman, actually. ]

[shutterbugged]

He's a mutual acquaintance. An old friend I haven't seen in way longer than I should've.

[ Almost six years! Dang. ]

[hardedged]

[ nice life choices there, sarah. not like jess can judge, though. ]

Well, I'm not hiring.

[ she doesn't do the buddy cop thing, okay. ]

[hardedged]

Doubt he'd hang out with a guy named after a bug.

[ what kind of crapass name is spider-man, anyway? ]

[coppelganger]

[ rood ]

i'd rather not have you for a boss anyway.

[hardedged]

Good call.

[coppelganger]

thought so. is this what you do at home too, or what?

[hardedged]

Yep. Beats the crap they hook us up with here.

[coppelganger]

tell me about it. they made me a cabbie when i got here.

[hardedged]

Not that far of a stretch.

[ maybe she's just being an asshole now. ]

[coppelganger]

[ It's fine, she's more amused than anything. ]

is that so?

[hardedged]

I can see it. They give you a uniform and everything?

[coppelganger]

oh, fuck no. i would never.

[hardedged]

Not even the hat?

[coppelganger]

and cover my hair?

[hardedged]

Jesus. Can't let that happen.

[coppelganger]

absolutely not.

[ She's kind of joking, maybe? ]

[hardedged]

Right. [ an awkward pause on her end, as she debates sending this next part. ] So. How are things?

[coppelganger]

sarissa hasn't gone into another coma, if that's what you're asking about.

[hardedged]

[ um wow, how dare you cut straight through her evasive crap. only she's allowed to do that. #rude ]

It's a miracle. And I thought I had crapass luck.

[coppelganger]

yeah, well, she makes a lot of her own shit luck.

[shutterbugged]

Hey, I have it on good authority that he thinks I'm the man.
Lowercase the man, not The Man.
Well, maybe in most demographic respects, but that's not really the point I was trying to make...

Anyway, point is, yes we're friends, and in my universe so are me and you. Sorry if that weirds you out.

[ Uh, it's better than Jewel?? or Knightress??? ]

[hardedged]

Harsh.

[ jessica jones, like you're one to talk. ]

[hardedged]

[ #RUDE ]

Whatever. You're not the first asshole to tell me this shit. Just get one thing through your thick head now. I'm not the Jessica Jones you know.

[ for one, she doesn't have friends. gross. ]

[shutterbugged]

Believe me, Jess, I noticed.

[ Ooooh you made him mad--well, mildly testy. Still, an accomplishment! ]

[hardedged]

[ just as planned. ]

Good. So back off already.

[shutterbugged]

Since you asked so nicely.

If you change your mind and need some questions answered, you know where to find me.

[coppelganger]

but true.

[hardedged]

Trouble in paradise?

[coppelganger]

no, i'm always like this.

[ tbh ]