[The person on camera is some amazingly nondescript middle-aged man. Who is wearing clothes that aid his impression of dryness; a brown tweed suit, tie and frames. His image streams from the communicator on his desk; which is supporting stacks of books and papers.

His voice is an equally arid drawl.]

Well, I'm sure some people would spin this more positively, and I don't want you to take this badly, but you could be stuck here for the long haul. I have been a prisoner here three long years. And that's not even the record.