[if it makes her feel better, Magnus looks mildly pained as well. especially as his sword clears the throat it doesn't have, loudly, like the sound of spoons in a garbage disposal]

-- Right. Uh, Staff of One, this is Jack. [another garbage-disposal sound] -- This is Jack, the legendary Sword of Summer, bane of frost and fire giants, sharpest blade in all the Nine Realms, formerly Sumarbrandr, the magic sword wielded by the noble Vanir god Frey, Lord of Lords, now wielded by Frey's demigod son Magnus, uh, Lord of nobody yet I guess, deathless eterna-teen einjerhar of the Allfather, forged of paradox and cunning, by some smith dude I don't know, but clearly with enormous skill and craft. Only he can cut the bonds used to secure the Wolf until the end of times, forged itself of Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician’s sincerity, a printer that prints, healthy deep-fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture.

He also makes a mean quesadilla, given enough prep time, and his foes tremble before him.

Damn right they do! Nice to meet you, can I call you Onesie?

[Jack doesn't seem to mind that the Staff of One doesn't talk.]