Oct. 5th, 2016 06:35 pm
wizzardly: of Cruel and Unusual Geography (Egregious Professor)
[personal profile] wizzardly
...Dear gods, have I understood the news right? [is today's stricken query from Heropa's resident, weary wizzard.]

We've only just gotten over that business with people fighting suits and new idiots getting powers, I don't think it's asking too much for a small break. I mean, honestly, can't we go a single month without suffering a new damned disaster?

Are we really about to have to go through those bloody 'imPort elections' all over again?

001 - video

Oct. 4th, 2016 05:54 pm
butterflyforawhiteguy: (010)
[personal profile] butterflyforawhiteguy
[ The video feed goes live to a view of a blank wall that would look very much like every living room wall in the Heropa government housing block, if not for the fact that it has recently been painted an eye-searing shade of fuchsia. There's the sound of a computer mouse being double-clicked, then an ominous, suspenseful song begins to play. The sound of maniacal laughter overwhelms the music, and the video feed jostles and then is panned up in an awkward selfie angle to reveal a middle-aged man with truly impressive eyebrows… dressed in a butterfly costume. ]


[ He laughs maniacally again, then stops to clear his throat. ]

Seriously, you had all better be bowing right now. For you are now under the control of the Monarch! This world's feeble, useless government has clearly teleported me here to rule you. Even if they did stick me with the world's stupidest cover gig. Seriously, who thought a fucking day job was necessary? I'm not even going to dignify that with my presence.

No! The Monarch is above such petty nonsense as a 9-to-5! The only job I will devote myself to is arching DOCTORRRRR VENTURRRRE.

[ He breaks into cackling again. ]

...But, uh. First I'm gonna need some henchmen. I mean, obviously. How the hell am I supposed to arch without henchmen? So I'm having an EVIL EMPLOYMENT FAIR in the, uh— [ He glances at a piece of paper. ] The gymnasium at Heropa Middle School. Seriously? What the fuck, they could've at least put me in the high school! Do these people even know who I am? I'm the fucking Monarch, not some… Eagle Scout master!

Whatever. You're all expected to come pledge your allegiance to your new lord and master and pick up your uniform. And if not enough suitable applicants show up, I'll… I'll… I'LL KIDNAP SOME!!

[ There's more evil laughter before the feed cuts out. ]
glitchinthesystem: (electricity)
[personal profile] glitchinthesystem
ahh . . . Hello from Heropa!

I'd like to announce a match. Ikki Minami, Storm King, Sky King and King of the Universe, against Glitch—Emperor of All, Slayer of Evil things, and Five Time Winner of Team Asskicking.

Team Kogarasumaru vs. Team . . . Instinct?

—anyway! Match style is one on one, all abilities allowed. Victory is by surrender or inability to continue, and . . . on the line is . . . a single deluxe hotdog. And a large cola! To be served by the defeated on their knees.

That's everything, isn't it?
The morons under here )
protects_the_small: (twinge of sympathy)
[personal profile] protects_the_small
I realize that six-

That seven months isn’t quite enough time to adjust to everything available when there is such a large change in technology from my world. With that in mind, can anyone tell me how to prevent someone from contacting you over this?

[She taps the screen. Someone has had far too much interaction with Ikki]
jacksonian: (incredulous)
[personal profile] jacksonian
[ Insomnia leads to some dumb shitposting. So: ]

Anonymous post, 2:49 a.m.:
What's it like to have a brother? You can also say what it's like to have a sister. Especially if you were adopted. And especially if your brother is really accomplished.

[ And especially if he isn't really your brother, but actually the person you were cloned from, and especially if you were raised to murder and replace that brother, and so you've memorized every fact of his life and yet somehow nevertheless been completely surprised by the person he actually is...

After this post, Mark wanders away to spend time on other parts of the network, which leads to this urgent message: ]

Anonymous post, 4:32 a.m.
If you're looking for porn don't go to

[ All he wanted was an artistic representation of some boobs he'd tried to imagine himself and suddenly, shit he never wanted to see. Ever. ]
violentmotion: (Over the moon)
[personal profile] violentmotion
[The video feed opens up with an almost dizzying view of the ground below. The buildings look like toy models and the people are barely specks. Sunset draws heavy shadows, oranges, reds and blacks splash in dramatic lines across the De Chima cityscape.

Among those dramatically backlit by the setting sun, a single man stands atop of the tower, balanced almost casually against the topmost lightning rod. The wind fans his black jacket out like wings behind him.]

Listen up, De Chima!

THIS IS MINAMI IKKI! Emperor of this universe and yours! And I'm...

[The commanding presence is somewhat broken by him fishing out a printed paper.]

Running for ambassador of De Chima. But I'm not stopping there! A vote for me is ALSO a vote for Heropa, Nonah and M-Falls! That's right! Four votes in one! A single lord and god to rule them all. With me we're doing parties WITH alcohol and hot babes, none of this Russian bullshit and of course, fucking awesome tricks.


[And at that, the pre-recorded message cuts and Ikki awaits his accolades.]


Apr. 23rd, 2016 10:40 am
rathercommon: (animal: tiger)
[personal profile] rathercommon
[ On the screen is a magnificent tiger with golden eyes, regarding the camera with quite a bit of what looks to be amusement, if you're prone to anthropomorphizing animals. After a moment, that tiger speaks - and speaks with a very human voice, a light and girlish voice with a South London accent. And who else speaks like that? This is, of course, one Kitty Jones, living up to her name. ]

Hullo, all. Happy - slightly belated - Earth Day. I hadn't known about that holiday last year, so I didn't do a thing for it, but it's really a lovely thing, isn't it? So, a day, late, I'm doing a little charity drive, and I need all of you to participate. Proceeds going to the protection of the leaf-scaled sea snake, because no one ever bloody donates money to help species that aren't cute.

[ The leaf-scaled sea snake is also quite venomous. Y'know. Whatever. ]

So what this consists of is this. I want you to volunteer here, in this post, to answer questions from fans on rumblr. Give me a list of topics you're not willing to talk about, as well as how many questions you're willing to answer. Then your rumblr fans - or enemies, I suppose, maybe some of them will want to trap you in a lie or something - will bid on the opportunity to ask you questions. Whichever fan puts in the highest bid gets the right to ask the first question, then the second-highest bid gets second question, all down until you don't want to answer any more stupid questions. And then all the proceeds go to the sea snakes.

So who's in? Talk about yourself, help the environment. What's not to like?

[ That's all said very, very cheerfully. Then, in a flippant post-script, she adds: ]

Oh, yeah, I'm not dead, by the way.

[ Which is so nice! so kind! such a good way to announce that! a month and a half after she already came back from the dead! nice. ]

[ ooc: this post is just like what it says! You can comment here to have your character get asked dumb questions by rumblr fans. Please tell me the questions you want asked in notes in your comments!! Or I will be making up terrible questions. Fair warning.

edited to add: also if your character would bid to ask other characters shitty questions, feel free to threadjump their thread ]
iamtetsuo: (Berserker rage)
[personal profile] iamtetsuo
Error: user Ghatanothoa not found.
Error: user Nyarlothotep not found.
Error: user Shub-Niggorath not found.

The HELL did you do to my comm!? HOW?! WHAT ARE ALL THESE TEXTS!!? What the HELL is a damn Azatsu... Aza.. what's that even mean?! Why is everything in goddamn English!!


I KNOW YOU DID THIS, you piece of patchwork freak show SHIT!! Don't make me go find you! GET OVER HERE!! RIGHT NOW!!! If I have to hunt your sorry ass down I will END you!!

[If anyone in N5 takes a look at it, the list of things she did includes:

- set it to English
- took a selfie of herself and bluetsuo for background, her face as lock screen
- signed him up for bath and body newsletters
- signed up for at least ten different automated daily trivia text bots
- replaced all his contacts with Lovecraftian Old God names, which is why the network is graced with his presence.]


Mar. 11th, 2016 08:35 pm
learntofly: (When I look at everyone else . . .)
[personal profile] learntofly
[The video opens on a view of part of Nonah's skyline in the setting sun. It looks like it's being shot from the roof of one of the taller skyscrapers in the city.]

It's pretty, isn't it?

[The camera turns to focus on a teenaged girl—apparently the speaker—gazing off at the horizon in silence for a few long moments. Finally, she inhales deeply and turns to look sidelong at the camera.]

I thought I'd come up to clear my head, but I don't think it helped much. There isn't a place high enough to get out of this cage yet. It was probably dumb to think that there was, but . . . I guess I can't just leave it at that. Which means I've got a lot of work to do.

[She picks up the camera, view panning wildly for a moment, and sets it down in front of her so she can look directly at it. The somber look is gone, replaced with something more serious and intense.]

So I've got some questions. First the most important one: If an Import practicing their powers causes a . . . scene but doesn't hurt anyone, could they get into trouble with the cops? I need to know for . . . for some idiots I know. [Definitely not herself. Probably.]

Second: Does anyone know where I can get recording equipment? Audio recording, specifically. It needs to be pretty high quality.

Third: Are there any . . . like, sparring groups? I could just practice fighting with my friends, but . . . [She trails off, exasperation clear on her face just thinking about getting hand-to-hand lessons from her friends.] They can get intense.

And last, [Her expression softens here, the first hint of a smile creeping in at the corners of her mouth for the first time in the whole video.], what's the tallest building you know about? It might not be high enough to escape a cage, but the views are always the best from up there.
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods

As seen national newspapers. ImPort access will be censored:

President Freemason has issued a national emergency as USSR forces have initiated coup tactics in the four imPort cities of Heropa, Nonah, De Chima, and Maurtia Falls. She has been in crisis meeting with Homeland Security, who claim that the whole department had been blindsided. Fingers point at Defense Secretary Sublime. Sublime has been indicted and will stand trial when [censored]


has implored use of Article 5.

As seen reblogged on Rumblr, Instagraham, and Bwitter. ImPort access will be censored:
Fiery criticism has rained down upon a couple of national celebrities who question the point of maintaining imPorts when the USSR can use them to attack this very nation. While pushback was immediate and intense, the leader of this dialogue, [censored], is not without his followers. His outlandish and often inflammatory anti-imPort remarks have gained fringe political traction.

As seen on BlueTube:
Video footage of residents within the states of those imPort cities has been uploaded. Most are fleeing, aided by armed local state police escort. When one fleeing Floridian resident notes that there are no Heropean police (as Heropa was located in the bordering county), a state trooper responds that there may never be again.

As seen from the mysterious, anonymous columnist CEASE-FIRE'S publication in underground publications and encrypted blogs:
Hello again, readers. A lot has changed since I wrote last, and while I can't say I was expecting things to go south that quickly it's hard to call it wholly surprising either. This conflict's been building up a long while, but active war always catches you unprepared if you aren't the one declaring it. Sometimes even if you are.

Things are far from hopeless, mind. ImPorts and the native folks alike have come back from worse than this. Cleaned up bigger messes. Your safety and America's alike are far from in bad shape entirely, but the only way out of this is cooperation.

Since last time, one reader's written in with:

"I would be very interested to know precisely why so much information regarding the previous military government has been, as you put it, purged since the change in regimes. One would expect that a nation turning towards democracy would have embraced far more transparency in its history... at least, if that turn was indeed genuine."

I'd think the answer would be clear already, but in case it isn't: You can't be transparent about information you don't have. It wasn't the democratic government that purged the data from the previous government's tenure, it was the people who had access to that data in the first place; members of that government who didn't want to be identified, or for their criminal misdeeds jeopardizing their future careers. You imPorts wouldn't know it, but a good many "politicians" at that time, if we could call them that, were never known publicly by their real identity. The ratio of those who were caught and those who were never identified stands at about 40/60.

Writing on the subject, or documenting it in any way that wasn't simply regular news reporting, was illegal during that time. I'm sure there are people who remember everything in perfect clarity, but any accounts written after the fact would be unverifiable. People believed with absolute certainty all kinds of information that turned out not to be true. We were brainwashed to believe our leaders knew best, we remembered things we never experienced and to this day some people still don't know if their memories are actually theirs. Those that know for sure may not want to revisit them.

That's not to say there isn't information out there to be recovered. It's possible. It would only be a matter of finding the people who would have held onto it.

That being said, I will close by reiterating what I said last month: No government is ever transparent until they need to be. None. And unfortunately, it doesn't matter how entitled you as citizens are, or feel you are, to the information.

Questions, comments, and other contact can be sent to CEASEFIRE@CCHEROPA.GOV. I will respond the 20th of each month.

своё свобода доклад: FEBRUARY 20TH, 2016

As seen reported in "international news and major national newspapers":
The USSR has asserted its legal claim over the imPort cities. Intent on liberating the imPorts from their American captors, the USSR is in the process of offering immediate health care and counseling for the traumatized imPorts. Housing and basic needs will be fulfilled. The insatiable classist division between "Registered" and "Unsettled" imPorts will be demolished. There is only equality to be found under the guidance of the USSR. There is only peace.

As heard on "Public Radio":
Hello, listeners. It is I, Cease-Fire. That is what I have called myself, but my real name is Daniel Froth. I have come to you today to publicly confess my sins and my lies. I am no friend to imPorts. I seek to lure imPorts with implications of friendship, but only because I want to use their powers for my own commerce. I have sought to mislead you for my own personal gain. But I repent, and I have been shown mercy. In gratitude of that mercy, I beseech you to ignore and boycott my previous ranting and ravings. I urge you to burn any copies of my words, and to erase any evidence of my rhetoric. I will not disrupt society any longer.

As seen on local imPort city news in all respective cities:
All is well. There is no fear. There is no hunger. There is no hate.

The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from DAWN to COMRADE RED because in Soviet Russia, code switches YOU!

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE своё свобода доклад?
The своё свобода доклад comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
akito: agito (pic#9019765)
[personal profile] akito
Everyone who knows me knows I suck at this announcement shit, so just deal with it.

Xavier's school is open to the scientifically-inclined nerds of the imPort world.

Akito's busy trying to figure out how to block LACKEY from accessing our nanites, since that's the only commonality he can figure out between all the kidnapped people. If anyone else is working on the same thing he'd like it if you could contact him since he's having trouble pinpointing the frequency the nanites or LACKEY runs on.

The old geezer is working on... something. Fuck if I paid attention to whatever he said. [ spoiler: he fell asleep ] But he could use some help too before he gives himself a stroke.

The Russian servers are being blocked by that Lackey fucker. I'm not the best hacker around, but I'm not shit at it either. Everything I try fails. [ mutters something super uncomplimentary and crude about lackey's lineage despite lackey being. you know. an ai ] Anyone else have any luck with it yet?

And Xavier's isn't just open to science nerds. If anyone is scared or feels unsafe where they are they can come to the school and stay for a while, since it's being better protected than basic housing.

[ a pause here as he considers how to phrase this-- ]

Anyone in contact with their missing people know if the guards are wearing watches? If they are and they can see the time set on them it might be able to narrow things down to a timezone, especially if multiple guards are wearing watches and the times deviate slightly from each other.

[ private to his loser friends. ]

I'm going to assume you're all safe, since if something happened to the idiot crow the whole country'd have heard of it.

And when the hell were you planning on telling us that Sumeragi was here, huh? What the fuck! When did our world become a fucking interdimensional buffet!? Fucking bullshit! [ shh this doesn't mean he's worried about all of you assholes. really. ]


Mini Crow-Head, Akito's got some ideas he wants to throw at you in person. We're in room 210 now. [ a proud chuff. ] Just wait until you see the new work station we set up. Bring an extra pair of pants for when you shit yourself.
dendarii: (eidetics 69)
[personal profile] dendarii
[ Finally, Miles gets to post to this infamous network. He's been here a week now, and mostly figured himself out, but ...

A smiling, genuine face appears on his end of the viewscreen. Miles has angled his comm such that his unusual stature is nearly invisible. The sharp-eyed might notice the back of his chair being higher than his head, but otherwise he looks quite professional in his neat gray uniform. Very nearly the mercenary fleet admiral he is - is pretending to be - a little bit of both. ]

Good morning - afternoon? Ah, the joys of all being on one planet. My name is Miles Naismith. Admiral of the Dendarii Free Mercenary Fleet. [ A beat; the smile doesn’t waver. ] Alas, I seem to be without both mercenaries and fleet at the moment.

I’m not entirely convinced by this whole registering idea, though. Tell me - those of you who are registered, why do you do it? Ideals? Practicality? Adrenaline?

[ He shifts a bit onscreen - and winces a bit, as an unseen bruise makes itself known. Right, he had another purpose. ]

And - er, are there any healers who are interested in work? I could really use someone dedicated to handling broken bones on a regular basis. I've found one lovely lady already, but it seems prudent to have a list on hand.
learntofly: (A chilling wind)
[personal profile] learntofly
[Or rather, one new arrival in particular. The video feed switches on to a dark-haired girl looking at something off screen with a look of confused amazement. The angle shifts to show a fairly generic looking set of storefronts and a glimpse of a hover-car driving past on the cross street—apparently the source of her distraction.

She looks back towards the camera, brows furrowing as she fiddles with the device. It takes several more long seconds before realization dawns on her and she actually looks at the camera.]

Oh— Oh! It's on? Well . . . [She trails off and takes another quick glance down the street, then back at the camera.]

Okay. Okay, I'm— I thought I was going to be asking about things like powers and registering and whether or not this is all a dream. [Another pause, this time to bite her lip and mutter something like "maybe it is" to herself.] But I think right now I just want to know . . . Is it normal for a whole city to be sealed off? They told me I'd be in Heropa, but now I've been sent somewhere completely different and it's all supposed to be temporary and I just—I . . . What is going on?


maskormenace: (Default)