[ The video feed goes live to a view of a blank wall that would look very much like every living room wall in the Heropa government housing block, if not for the fact that it has recently been painted an eye-searing shade of fuchsia. There's the sound of a computer mouse being double-clicked, then an ominous, suspenseful song begins to play. The sound of maniacal laughter overwhelms the music, and the video feed jostles and then is panned up in an awkward selfie angle to reveal a middle-aged man with truly impressive eyebrows… dressed in a butterfly costume.
]BOW DOWN FOR YOUR NEW LEADER, THE MMMMMIGHTY MMMMONARCH!
[ He laughs maniacally again, then stops to clear his throat.
Seriously, you had all better be bowing right now. For you are now under the control of the Monarch! This world's feeble, useless government has clearly teleported me here to rule you. Even if they did stick me with the world's stupidest cover gig. Seriously, who thought a fucking day job
was necessary? I'm not even going to dignify that with my presence.
No! The Monarch is above such petty nonsense as a 9-to-5! The only job I will devote myself to is arching DOCTORRRRR VENTURRRRE
[ He breaks into cackling again.
...But, uh. First I'm gonna need some henchmen. I mean, obviously
. How the hell am I supposed to arch without henchmen? So I'm having an EVIL EMPLOYMENT FAIR
in the, uh— [ He glances at a piece of paper.
] The gymnasium at Heropa Middle School. Seriously? What the fuck, they could've at least put me in the high school! Do these people even know
who I am
? I'm the fucking Monarch, not some… Eagle Scout master!
Whatever. You're all expected to come pledge your allegiance to your new lord and master and pick up your uniform. And if not enough suitable applicants show up, I'll… I'll… I'LL KIDNAP SOME!!
[ There's more evil laughter before the feed cuts out.