[ Kanaya doesn't look happy. She looks like someone who has spent two days playing a mobile game nonstop, and hated every second of it. But she important things to say about it now. ]
So, I didn't plan to waste any more of my time thinking about this silly game, but after everyone on Bwitter decided that it was worth blowing up my shouts over, I found that it may be worth looking into further. Frankly, much of the content they related of this "Papaya Delirium" stand-in is rather concerning.
After spending far longer playing "Heart Kapow Wow" [ Though she stops short of using air-quotes, she says it with as much disdain as possible, what kind of stupid title is that? ] than I ever intended to spend on as pointless an endeavor as this, allow me to make a few disclaimers. And, for the record, I can't believe this shit has somehow become necessary.
First, stop recommending Hallmark movies to me. I don't care, I don't want to watch them
Second, no, I am not Jason Vorhees. I don't even know who that is.
Third, I'm not a wasp, or any kind of bee. Stop sending me jokes about bees.
Fourth, and perhaps most importantly, no, I do not have an ovipositor. I do not plant eggs in people. I am not seeking a new egg host for my children, I will not lay eggs in you on request, no amount of money you offer me is enough to make me want to roleplay this scenario with you, or even to think about it any more than you've already made me, and thanks so much for that. I don't want to see any art you've made of the event, I don't want to know that you're making art or writing whatever it is you are while stimulating whatever nether-organs your species has evolved. I don't want to know, please stop making me know about these things. You're all disgusting.
And finally, I. Do not. Date. Men. I don't care what your vexing virtual vespine vixen told you. She isn't me, and she isn't real, and I am seriously considering a call to my lawyer to see if something can't be done about her very existence. If you are trying to hit on me over Bwitter, you've already lost. Please stop.
[ She lets out a long exhale, rubbing her temples. Her brows furrow as she considers something, then relax for a moment as she screws up her lips and opens her eyes, then furrows her brows again, dropping her hands and looking back into the camera. ]
Does anyone know how to get my good ending? Do I even have one? It would really figure if I didn't.