1⚡ TEXT

Oct. 14th, 2017 09:01 am
accelerate: I'M THE FLASH! ⚡ (pic#10188177)
[personal profile] accelerate
[ in the middle of the night, one barry allen sneaks out from his room and into the kitchen he shares with iris. keeping all the lights off, he uses only his phone light to keep him company. it's useless, though; the speed at which he types produces little flickers of golden light. ]

UN: BEARY


Raise your hand if you've ever been ported out and ported back in? o/

Keep your hand raised if you were ported out for a month and then ported back in? o/

Keep it raised if you were given a free burger because you were ported out and ported back in? o\

I was pretty hopeful with that one. Can we get that one organized? I can set up a petition.org and we can all sign. And get tacos. Spicy sauce, good meat, the lettuce that isn't crap. Anyone know a good taco place?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Midnight is not the perfect time for tacos. 1am is. #tacotime

I'm jw about anyone's experiences with being ported out. Did Beyonce drop another album while I was away? 🍋 Did Taylor finally get her revenge?💃🏻 Does anyone else feel like they've missed absolutely nothing but everything at the same time?


[ one of those questions is not like the other. barry has a very difficult time drilling his thoughts down to be very concise. what he wants to know: has anyone else been ported out and back in, and did they feel completely useless, too? ]

( ooc | fyi, barry is from mid-flashpoint and will be losing his memories if triggered to think back on an event in his life. please feel free to steer the thread to him forgetting something. )

[video]

Oct. 3rd, 2017 01:54 am
magmamia: (5)
[personal profile] magmamia
[the video starts in a kitchen at some sort of restaurant, at the floor until this angel maxie here slaps the communicator on a counter. he looks like he usually does only in an apron. he is not pleased.

behind him a big fluffy camel thing with volcano back is kind of lounging lazily around. someone should probably explain pokemon don't belong in the kitchen!! maxie!!

he takes a deep breath before speaking, testily.]
I'm on this network to inquire what 'yakitori house' is. Or are. And why they require.... 'hotties.'

[a sign in the background proclaims this HOTTIES WITH STICKS YAKITORI HOUSE.

maxie sighs, leaning back on what is obviously a hot stove. his palm makes full contact and he doesn't blink, just leaves it there. the camerupt sort of lifts it's head as it notices this and maxie apparently doesn't.]


Cooking I understand, it's formulaic. A challenge I, Maxie, will rise to, if need be. When in Johto- [the camerupt makes a mildly distressed sound and maxie turns to it, brow raised.] What is it? I know very well you're not hungry, don't try that on me.

[camerupt makes more sounds please save it's trainer from himself dear god.]
shadowglitter: <user name=livebites> (𝚇𝙸𝙸.)
[personal profile] shadowglitter
What's up? This is Odin. Odin Dark! Haha. Today I learned about "vlogs", so I decided I'm going to start hosting a series of my own on the network. It's going to be great! I'll talk about EVERYTHING. I'll talk about the latest trends in fashion, and about how they're all wrong, because we live in a stupid society where people have yet to understand that mesh bodysuits free up your spiritual chakra and cause your emotional and magical energy to flow through your fleshy prison bodies unencumbered by human shame. I'll talk about sports! We have those, right? I don't watch sport, so I dunno yet. Food reviews! Book reviews! Every kind of review you can think of. Maybe I'll even delve into a little bit of sexy, sexy gossip about some hot, hot imPorts? I GUESS WE WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE WHAT THE CARRIER PIGEON BRINGS US. Carrier raven.

Well, anyway. Today I thought I'd cook you all some breakfast! If you want to be on my show in the future, let me know, and I'll interview you about your life or whatever. Otherwise, like, comment and subscribe for more!

[ And then Odin cooks you all some breakfast. that fire? that comes from his hands. he's using magic. what is control over destructive elemental magic for, if not for this.

content warning terrible food that is (hopefully not actually) eaten, content warning loud audio content warning screaming content warning really gross coughing content warning bad video bad post bad bad bad bad bad ]

001. voice.

Oct. 1st, 2017 08:02 pm
shadohdamn: (Default)
[personal profile] shadohdamn
( potential spoilers for season one of American Gods, if you'd like me to avoid any spoilers please just lmk in the subject line. )


What do you believe in? Really believe? What do you devote your time to?

( A pause; he's having a sip of cocoa. )

Now I've been here a few weeks, I've gotten to wondering about that. There's a lot here that's the same as back home, with a few obvious differences thrown in. Advertising, TV, that kind of thing. Back where I come from, what you spend your time on and what consumes your thoughts matters. There's a lot of shit you might not realise how much it matters to you. Mattering matters, if you want to make it sound like some bullshit affirmation.

So here's the thing: what if the reason we come through those porters with the powers we got is because people believe we will? What if we only start fighting crime or committing them because people believe we will?

( A long exhale, almost a verbal shrug. ) Or maybe it's bullshit. I dunno.

[ Video ]

Sep. 30th, 2017 11:58 am
drivesadesk: (Default)
[personal profile] drivesadesk
[Walsh appears on screen. He's wearing all black, and is looking and sounding unusually distant.]

I thought everyone should know, in case they noticed I haven't been around for the last few days, that I ported out.

I'm back now. So I'm fine. I guess.

Video;

Sep. 19th, 2017 10:00 pm
wizzardly: and like to think of them as attached to me (I'm very attached to my limbs)
[personal profile] wizzardly
Do you suffer from depression?

[good afternoon from this world's resident redheaded Wizzard, who's sitting at an office desk and wearing a green uniform matched with a pointy red hat like that isn't a terrible fashion choice or general life decision. He's attempting to smile. It mostly looks queasy.

Anxiety? Do you have violent thoughts or tendencies? Trouble sleeping? Have you suffered traumatic events in your childhood and/or adulthood, culminating in what most would agree is a rather tragic backstory?

Then perhaps it's time you try - oh, hold on, I had something for this -

[Rincewind pats frantically at his pockets, then bends out of view. When he comes back up, it's to throw a handful of glitter, which shimmers down in a sparkling cloud around, in front of, and ultimately on him. This results in an immediate coughing spell and some swatting at the pieces in his beard.]

- Try - [cough, cough] - psychiatric help!

[cough, curse, gods damn it.]

Er, yes. Conveniently located in Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania, the doctors at the Maurtia Falls Hos- um, the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric... [oh no. Oh no, what is it called? He works there, what is it called, he knows this! Rincewind's smile twitches, a bead of sweat glistening amidst the glitter on his forehead. He glances quickly to the prepared statement on his desk.]

- Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital for Abnormal Conditions!

[phew.]

This advanced hospital is overseen by imPort psychiatrist Dr. Chilton himself, and is staffed with all sorts of talented individuals ready to assist in bringing out the best -[another glance at the paper, a small wince] - you. That you can be.

Whether you need medication, guided psychological interaction, or even just to talk to someone, therapy can work for you. And I can tell you, because I'm, ah, a success story. Myself.

[honestly, why did they leave that in the script.]

No matter the size your mental troubles, Dr. Chilton and the staff of the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital are here to help. Appointments can always be scheduled through the front desk, but if you've any questions - [please, oh please don't have questions] - I'm here to answer them as well.
the_admin: (Bennet)
[personal profile] the_admin
I feel it only sporting to warn you that I am going to be re-routing a small percentage of funds from various bank accounts in the next forty-eight hours.

I have little interest in hitting the personal accounts of my fellow imPorts, but those of you with large enough holdings in corporations probably won't miss much. Still, if you can make it a significant hassle I'll probably move on to softer targets.


[ There is a brief pause and then a quick follow-up. ]

Does anyone have a recommendation for a good tea cafe?

[ Because why wouldn't you give people a sporting chance to protect their money and ask about tea in the same message? ]

[OOC: Couple of notes:

1) Harold is literally only going to be getting very small sums from any one account. Like ... literal pocket change, as he is signifcantly capped for the amount he can purloin in a month.

2) From a PC perspective this is entirely opt-in. I have no expectation of Harold hitting ANY PC accounts, no matter what he says ICly, be they personal or corporate. However, if anyone would like to do something with this, feel free to hit me up here or if you want to talk specifics, PM me at [personal profile] the_admin

3) This is more of a lark, than any serious data breach. Bear eats expensive kibble!! ]
socialactivillain: (but i didn't and i wonder why)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
I need a list of about 80 or 90 pet names, if anybody has any suggestions.


Alternatively, I'm taking opinions on when it's not worth it to try to name individual animals anymore, and just refer to them as a collective.
anxiogenic: (Calmness)
[personal profile] anxiogenic
[The video feed, active and recording, shows Crane in his study - but not as usual behind his desk. It rolls around and shows him leaning over the mantelpiece with his elbow, without his jacket, still wearing his sweater vest and tie, with his sleeves rolled up in a manner one might consider casual. He doesn't look at the camera as he gets to work removing an inkwell and quill and then sets down a wooden perch.

Without warning, there's a structured burst of cawing followed by a period of quiet.

Crane steps away from the fireplace and looks up at the lighting. Squatting on the lamp's metal arm is a short-billed black bird. It looks much like all the other black birds one can spot around town.]


If you are quite through?

[He ignores the camera a bit longer in order to bench it on its perch, but not for the first time it flies back to where it seems comfortable. He tries again, and not much to his surprise it returns home. Despite the clear camaraderie the two of them share, he leans on one side and directs his eyes at the ceiling. He is not generally fond of opinions from the masses but finally addresses the camera admist another round of cawing.]

I cannot very well invite him to fly around my office anonymously. If you would like to name him, I will take on board your suggestions.

[Trying not to sound too frustrated, he checks his sleeve. His face goes thunderous.]

Excuse me.

[He clicks his nails against the mantlepiece and then, in true fashion, at least to those who know him, preserves his dignity by switching off the video.]
maskormods: (⒉)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: AUGUST 10TH, 2017
Native sentiment centralized in the east coast has been growing for a governmental response to the recent imPort-centric chaos. The government, ever protective of imPorts, has been reluctant to set down any new regulations -- but constituents have been calling their congresspeople.

HE KANGED, HE SAW, HE CONQUERED
As seen on BlueTube (via cellphone footage), Bwitter, Rumblr, and Heropean local news:
Some of the clone mayhem has been put to a stop in an explosive manner, thanks to the draconian imPort Kang. The amateur footage shows him cornering his own clone in an alley several blocks from a restaurant favored by locals. Kang is heard shouting for others to back away before shooting energy darts out of his hand, killing the double troublemaker on the spot. The body then reduces to bones and explodes as if they were made of dynamite, much to the surprise of the onlookers. No others were hurt, and there was minimal damage to nearby property.

According to Kang, before the video ends, this is completely normal for his race.

There had been reports of this clone starting fights in several bars and espousing imPort and non-human superiority. He has also been linked to three local deaths. No official statements have been made by the police as of yet.

AIN'T NO SNOWFLAKE
As seen in national newspapers and De Chima televised channels:
A new shelter is being opened by former ambassador candidate Jon Snow. While De Chima has a number of shelters in use, Lord Snow has promised that his will not only be located outside of the city, but will provide housing not only for the homeless, but for the imPorts currently without support and between jobs. He's stated in recent interviews that the shelter will provide assistance in finding more permanent housing and jobs, as well as teaching the residents of the shelter valuable tools to help them in various careers. Donations and supplies are requested, delivered to Snow's office between the hours of 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

"We are in this together," Snow has told reporters. "We need to band together, all of us. It's the only way our city will thrive."

ABSOLUTELY SIMFUL
As seen on BlueTube play-by videos, local Heropa news, Rumblr, and in internet ads:
There's a new mobile app that has been causing something of a stir amongst natives. Launched just this week, HEART KAPOW WOW is an app that enables natives to embrace the ImPort experience... via dating sim. The game is available to anyone interested for a small fee, but the most interesting thing is that some of the dating options might seem a little familiar. Players have the option to go with a number of dating routes, and live either a heroic or villainous life. More information on the game and uncanny dating options is available here!

SELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
As seen in entertainment magazines and the official TMI blogosphere:
Reality stars Noah Czerny (of "True Afterlife") and Ronan Lynch (one half of the duo from ETV's "fuckups & tryhards") have taken to BlueTube in a series of videos depicting the boys performing tricks and stunts with novelty toys in the shape of male genitalia. As of this report, the videos have over one million views. Whether the viral performance is a spontaneous act by the boys or a calculated move on the part of UCCY INC Network in an attempt to merge its popular teen imPort franchises remains a point of debate on entertainment news sites and forums. Both boys, who are roommates and make cameo appearances on their respective programs, have a large following on Imstagram and recently toured London as guests of the British government in celebration of a new trade deal between the US and UK.

THELMA AND OH GEEZ
As seen on Rumblr discourse, in Bwitter threads, and watched on on TMI Tonight:
SPOTTED: Daenerys Targaryen giving a statement to police called to the site of her recent fender-bender. Her passenger at the time of the accident was friend and sometime collaborator Gwen Wynne-York, to whom she was overheard remarking, "I think we won that".

Ms Wynne-York could not be reached for comment but was reportedly struggling to contain her laughter.

Ms Targaryen is rumored to have settled with the other party.

ROW ROW ROW AND BOATS
As seen on imPort Message boards, Community Interest News Stories, Boating Enthusiasts Newsletters:
A heated argument has broken out among Boater Enthusiasts the last few weeks. It's not quite an all out battle, but races have been tossed around as a possibility. The Prize? Having imPort Riptide sign off as the mascot of whichever club wins! So far no word has come from Riptide himself as to which club he supports, but Heropa's two largest clubs, Pier Pressure and Schooner or Laker have been making some waves. Only time will tell if the riptides will turn in their favor, or if they'll be washed out to sea.

BAEB IN PLOYLAND?
As seen on all Maurtia Falls news channels:
On July 21st, imPort ambassador Petyr Baelish officially announced he would be running for mayor in an interview with the Maurtia Falls Times. The signs had been there for quite a while what with him running regular town hall meetings and drumming up support in the education and business communities, but up until now he had been rather coy when asked about his ambitions. When prompted about whether this would mean he would step down from his ambassadorial position, Baelish responded he had no plans to step down unless he secures the office and he believes he would be fully capable of devoting his time to his fellow imPorts as well as running his campaign.

Current mayor Tony Cardelli seemed unconcerned about Baelish's announcement. "While I can greatly appreciate the works Ambassador Baelish has put into place during the time he's served this city, I think the people of Maurtia Falls will know better than to appoint an imPort in the role of mayor. And that's nothing against his capabilities, but quite simply being an imPort always runs a risk of them spontaneously vanishing or otherwise leaving the city at risk. Look at what happened to our city just this past week because of imPorts. And I could go on record naming numerous times imPorts have been the cause of our city's problems. Because of this, I am confident I will be reelected for a second term." Cardelli told Channel 7 News in a press conference after the clone catastrophe.

Even so, many cars have been spotted around the city with a single mockingbird bumper sticker in solidarity with Petyr Baelish, his town hall meetings have been seeing a dramatic increase of foot traffic, and whether it's the work of the famed guerrilla artist or copycats -- the message "embElish maurtia falls" has been cropping up in gold spray paint all across the city. It's clear that Ambassador Baelish has drummed up quite a bit of support quicker than anyone realized, and it seems as though Cardelli will be forced to take his campaign seriously.

On August 18th at 7:00pm, Mayor Cardelli and Mayor-Hopeful Baelish will be going head to head in their first town hall debate. The citizens of Maurtia Falls are encouraged to come ask questions or air out their grievances.

POKEDISASTER
As seen on BlueTube, Rumblr:
What appears to be the imPorts Blue and Archie, seen here, having a battle of pocket monsters in the middle of London. IN CONSEQUENCE of this intense one-on-one, a large, poisonous sludge-strewn crater was left in their wake. Disaster!

Dragged off by their respective Pokémon, these brawling trainers might have gotten away with it anonymous -- but imPort Niko recorded it and uploaded it onto BlueTube page. What!

TIME TO MANABU UP
As seen in Nonah local papers:
Seen as a kind of goodwill effort by some (or tasteless infiltration by others), imPort Manabu was interviewed by local journalist Jacknard Pulley regarding his induction into the North Carolina Nonah Division Police Academy. Manabu has stated that, to quote, "he's hoping his actions will speak for themselves; he wants to help everyone, imPort and local alike".

The article itself was published in multiple papers, as Pulley is a freelance journalist. A feel-good piece that has been criticized as imPort propaganda by anonymous users on Bwitter has nevertheless found some support within the Nonah community.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from COQUELICOT to WENGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
h2no: i am a genius (WE'LL DIG UP THE BOX)
[personal profile] h2no
[ though may is the first thing that can be seen on the feed, it’s the sound of a high-pitched yipping that comes before she can speak. only a moment later, a small, gray puppy can be seen sniffing and investigating the camera. may giggles, picking up the dog(?) and plopping it in her lap. ]

C’mon, settle down a little. You’re gonna be getting a new brother or sister soon!

puppers!!! )

7 [Video]

Jul. 24th, 2017 11:56 pm
ret2go: (pic#10871607)
[personal profile] ret2go
So... show of hands, who's had something like this "evil clone" thing happen to them before?

Because for me, it was more like "the wicked manifestation of my magic" but I still think it counts...? Is this a common occurrence, or just me?
maskormods: (⒌)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 20TH, 2017
ImPort versus imPort! Instances of death and violence have been reported, to the great mourning of some fans. De Chima welcomes a new Ambassador.

ANGEL OF REPOSE
As seen in Major News Websites: Human Interests Stories; imPort Speculation Boards:
As previously reported, on Mother's Day this year, a combined total of $2000 was donated to the Women's Shelters of the four imPort Cities. Last month, the donation came again. This month, it's been confirmed that a third donation of $500 to each of the Major Shelter networks in each of the four cities. This, combined with the return of another six children across the last two months, has cemented the idea that The Angel is here to stay and we couldn't be happier for it!

In related news, reports of Angel sightings have increased since the middle of last month. They've become more and more consistent in description and it's difficult to say if that's because The Angel has actually been seen or if people are merely jumping on the bandwagon in an attempt to claim a little fame for themselves. Previous 'sightings' have largely been dismissed, as descriptions from those he's helped have never been consistent beyond him being a man, sometimes flying them out of danger, and protecting them. However, more people are coming forward as witnesses to the aftermath of an Angel rescue. Many saying they've seen a person with colorful wings made of blue and orange light, but otherwise dressed in black, flying near or away from areas that are later reported to have been investigated by the Police after an Angel folder was left with a now-rescued victim.

Could the The Angel be officially joining the lines of costumed crime-fighters? We wouldn't be upset by that in the least!

THE JOY FUCK CLUB
As seen on local television channels and BlueTube via cellphone footage:
More imPort related mayhem this week as pop idol and Sumerian love goddess Inanna decided to take their beefs off the Network and into the pit. Their rash rampage of retribution tore thought Miami, Heropa, and even into downtown Nonah until it was brought to a bloody end by frequent gal pal Persephone.

With duplicates of several high profile imPorts allegedly causing their own brand of mischief, rumors have swirled as to what triggered the attack, or even if the attacker was indeed Inanna.

Representatives of Persephone declined to offer a statement, and she has not appeared publicly or on social media since the incident.

Failed DJ, Woden, who claims to know the goddess from his own world, was less reticent. "You know, even the best of us can snap. They came asking about things back home, so... I guess I'm not exactly the worst of us anymore. What a good feeling," the reporter noted, however, that immediately after, the god was caught trying to install a spy camera nearby.

OLD MAN AND THE SCREE
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs. Debate in related comment sections is somewhat fiercer this month, due to clone and imPort chaos, and some sites are no longer willing to share Dooku’s critical words:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features the Count speaking solo without any guest stars for once, as he holds forth on recent events.

Dooku begins by congratulating new Ambassador Sam Merlotte on his election victory in De Chima. He also deplores the recent violence in the Porter cities while wishing for peace. Yet the Count soon turns to the offensive, claiming that a “vast and ruthless conspiracy” is clearly behind the chaos and is seeking to frame imPorts for pointless crimes. He condemns the anti-imPort protesters who attacked the July Swearing-In, and demands to know why local police failed to protect the event. He also questions why the government has been ineffective at providing security for its own citizens without imPort support. “This hatred and fear against us cannot be tolerated,” he intones in his deep voice. “ImPorts defend and heal the people of this nation, despite being abducted, spied upon, and targeted. We deserve far better.”

Dooku closes this episode as he always does, by encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by speaking to their elected imPort Ambassadors. Yet this month, he also invites listeners to attend a SWEAR-OUT rally at next month’s Swearing-In ceremony, especially calling for imPorts and metahumans to add their support to the demonstration he is organizing. The Swear-Out will encourage new imPorts to be Unsettled just as the Swear-In calls for them to Register, and will offer a platform for all kinds of peaceful dissent. Free food and entertainment will be provided for all attendees. “If you have any grievances with the current state of affairs, come and voice them freely and without fear,” he says. “Together, our voices will be heard, and we will help create the change that is so deeply needed.”

A FAREWELL TO ALMS
As seen in local Nonah news:
Throughout the city of Nonah, little clay statues have been appearing in random places. They seem to take the image of the late Inanna, and each one is inscribed with the words "You feel my scars."

THE PORTRAIT OF A FARTIST AS A YOUNG MEME
As seen in De Chima tabloids, InstaSLAM, and Rumblr:
The imPort Riptide, renowned Meme King, has inspired a new trend simply by his existence. It's what kids ages 14 to 22 seem to be doing all the time now, they call it R.I.Ptiding. They're taking photographs of themselves posing like the Meme King himself -- next to gravestones. Of DEAD PEOPLE.

"It's very disturbing," said local fifty-nine year old man. "I don't like it. I don't like how things are different. Whatever happened to planking?"

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FELDGRAU to COQUELICOT.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
dexnav: (pic#8584387)
[personal profile] dexnav
[ the feed flickers on to the image of a young girl, sporting her trademark red bandanna. unlike may's usual chipper attitude, her expression at the moment looks a bit uncertain and serious. ]

So... I have a question for you guys. You know Archie, right? The big buff Pokémon Trainer that wears wetsuits a lot? Talks like a pirate?

[ she'll even hold up a drawing to the feed for a visual - it's a bit of a simple, cartoonish sketch (she's 12, cut her some slack), but the blue bandanna, cross-shaped face shadow and shapely beard should be enough to give the right idea to who she's describing. ]

I kind of wanted to know if he's been... "up to" stuff here - like, crime stuff. I don't think you should be worried - I mean, he's a good guy! He just has a really extreme way of going at things, you know? And sometimes those extremes end up being super illegal.

[ she wants to trust his word that he's reformed, but there's a lingering worry in the back of her mind. some of the people here must have been talking to him since before she showed up, and she wants their honest observations to put her . ]

I just wanna know if he's behaving himself like he promised me back home. You guys HAVE to tell me, okay? I think I'm kind of responsible for him at this point. [ she reaches to click the feed off, but before she does- ] And don't tell him I asked!

[ yes, she's basically his tiny parole officer. please report any and all suspicious activity. ]

pyrogue: (hair follicles elude local man)
[personal profile] pyrogue
Hey everybody, Mick here.

[ The bald man on camera is trying to be friendly but there's a part of him that's just wary -- he didn't want to have to do this but it's been a bit too long. ]

First off, if you know anybody that's hiring, lemme know. Been looking for a new job and can't really get one in the same line of work as my last one. Can't really blame 'em.

Before I came here I did lots of different kinda work but you can't really put it on a resume. Who d'you call for references? But I figured imPorts might be a bit more understanding so I'm including my previous work experience. I can include my "official" resume if you want, this is just the stuff I left out.

[ And he includes a text attachment: ]

- Fire-eater
- General labor at a Matchsticks Factory
- Production worker at a Glassworks Factory
- Superhero understudy at Cadmus Labs
- FBI anti-Rogue consultant

voice.

Jun. 25th, 2017 12:49 pm
puppydoctor: (✚ if you have a minute why don't we go)
[personal profile] puppydoctor
Hi. Um, my name's George, Dr. George O'Malley, and with Lucy gone I'm gonna try to keep the clinic here in De Chima open. It runs on kindness, though, donations and volunteers, so it could sort of use all the help it can get. If you have any medical experience, or if you're able to help us cover some costs, or if you're just some kid who has a few spare hours to help bandage people up, then get in touch with me. Every single bit helps, believe me.

[There's a few moments of radio silence as he tries to figure out how to turn off the feed.]

No, don't eat that, Chip, that's not food.
maskormods: (⒍)
[personal profile] maskormods
THE MAJORITY REPORT: JUNE 20TH, 2017
The Summer Solstice has arrived! Get out your favorite imPort-themed brews and crack open a cold one -- you might need the relief from that gorgeous sun beaming from above. And remember! If your loved ones are acting strange, please report them to the proper authorities for evaluation.

A REGULAR FUNSLINGER
As seen in Maurtia Falls papers and the nightly news:
Investigators are searching for a man in a cowboy hat who has robbed at least ten banks in Virginia over the last five months, six of which were within De Chima city limits. Some eyewitnesses claim to have seen the robber turn to smoke, fueling speculation that he could be an imPort.

He’s been described as a 50-60 year old male with blue eyes and a “country” accent -- and he’s not always alone. In at least two incidents, the suspect was accompanied by accomplices with unidentified super powers, and surveillance footage of the most recent robbery shows him leaving the scene on horseback. Although the suspect is said to carry weapons, no serious injuries have been reported.

Police wouldn’t comment on whether or not they believed similar robberies in other states might be connected.

Anyone with information about these robberies is asked to contact the De Chima police department.

ART THAT MAKES YOU THINK
As seen in The De Chimera, art publications, and Neurology Today!:
Mere months after the Hellish nightmare warscape that swept America, the culprit Joseph Kavinsky has been caught and rehabilitated, and he is now making his amends. His first donation was to the De Chima Museum of Science, a brain scan and livefeed hologram generator! Up to three participants at a time can utilize headsets to show neurological interactions. Pending further safety testing, the exhibit will open to the public in late June under the title, the John Murphy Exhibit. The show will continue for three months until the devices move on to medical retro-engineering. Mr. Kavinsky credits his inspiration to Dr. Frederick Chilton.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BEER BUT BEER ITSELF
As seen in local papers, social media, Bwitter MoMents:
Just in time for Fanport, Blue Man Brewing Co. is back with seven more freshly tapped beers! Check out your favorite imPorts we're honoring this time around:

Rincewind: Wizzard Brown Ale- English Brown Ale made with pecans. Maybe it's a little nutty, but we guarantee it's magically delicious! Our in-house Wiccan insisted on blessing each barrel, so maybe that did something?

Kanaya Maryam: Kanaya Marjoram- A classic saison with a twist, brewed with sweet marjoram. Look, it's not the best beer, but we’re standing by the pun.

Frederick Chilton: Take A Chil-ton Pils- Our classiest creation, this is a German-style pilsner. This is not a chugging beer; it's best served with a good, grilled brat.

Clara Oswald: Oswild Berry Cider- Blackcurrant and blackberry cider. If you're not totally into beer, this is something as sweet and sassy as it's namesake. Also British.

Harley Quinn: Barley Quinn- Golden Ale with strawberries. Great for barbecues, summer parties, or chugging before you go and key your ex boyfriend’s car.

Persephone: The Screamer IPA- A pomegranate infused IPA. Sure it's pink and bitter, but it's also the best thing you've ever heard...uh, tasted!

Count Dooku: Down for the Count- A dark, thick stout with a high ABV, infused with chili powder. Due to public health concerns, we’re legally required to sell this in single bottles only.

Get your six pack or full pour from our brewery, now open all week. And don't forget to come see us at our tent at Fanport, where we’ll be raffling off special edition bottles, merchandise, and even a keg of your own choice!

JUST ALEX JONESIN' YA
As heard online, on all the best podcast-supporting websites, and discussed in metahuman-related conspiracy blogs:
This month’s episode of Count Dooku’s political podcast Counting Truths features imPort survivalist celebrity Daryl Dixon and Unsettled (and recently AWOL) goddess superstar Persephone to discuss imPort NANITES. The Count asks his guests whether they think it is fair for imPorts to be injected with machines without their permission, in the name of safety.

The first part of Daryl’s answer is a simple “It’s bullshit.” He’s of the mind that the nanite injection should be a choice and, potentially, a privilege to be ‘earned’ or ‘lost’ by those it benefits the most: namely, murderers. The supposed goal of making sure all those wrongfully brought to this world by the Porter survive to get sent back sounds noble on the surface, but in practice… Between it and the legal system the government has in place for imPorts, too many asshole imPorts get away with literal murder. Along with the invasiveness of being able to track each of them, somehow monitor their actions enough to know if they’re breaking any laws to get one of those non-registration labels (but not do anything to stop them or alert people who can), giving them an unasked for tattoo that glows, and who knows what other changes they could be making? As he said at the start: “bullshit.”

Persephone says that’s not even all the levels of bullshit. No duh the government kidnapping and shooting people up while they’re out is sketch as hell. It’s not just tracking, permanently marking, and even resurrection (like everyone even wants that). Why should anyone trust that’s ALL it does?

Even more than that, it’s a BS patch on The Actual Problem. There’s only imPorts in the first place because the US is messing with power they don’t understand. Basically every story about that ends the same way. Abusing imPort rights now that they’re here doesn’t change that.

The Count closes the episode by thanking his guests for their participation and encouraging concerned listeners to take action on these issues by organizing and lobbying their elected imPort Ambassadors.

DID IT HURT WHEN HEAVEN SCENT YOU
As seen mentioned in imPort-city papers:
ATTENTION IMPORT VOLUNTEERS! For those of you who had WILLINGLY AND WITTINGLY given your consent for a few samples, we have great news for you! As a deep and sincere thank you, HEAVEN SCENT LLC is sending you one of their CUTTING EDGE clone kits (parts one and two, small dark room for growing period not included). Obtain the desired clone DNA sample and follow the simple instructions -- in two weeks the sample you left quietly alone in a dark room will be your NEW cloned organism! Some rules apply:
1) only ONE kit per imPort volunteer
2) only ONE kit can successfully clone ONE organism
3) HUMAN BEINGS cannot be cloned
4) IMPORTS cannot be cloned
5) any attempt to replicate the chemical formulas and the kit's propagated DNA sequencing will render the samples and the trademark chemicals inert. Nothing can be learned from HEAVEN SCENT's technological technique this way.
6) while there is nothing barring you from reselling the kit, the practice would be highly frowned upon and HEAVEN SCENT would put you in their naughty books.
7) Please be cognizant of the responsibility inherent to giving life.

Congratulations, imPort volunteers! Be safe, be with SCIENCE!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from BIKINI SAND to GAMBOGE.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

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Jun. 18th, 2017 11:34 am
picksthenames: (flashback arms crossed)
[personal profile] picksthenames
[ Cisco is trying his best to put his best foot forward with this advertisement, so he's going out of his way to actually capitalize words and use proper punctuation. Be proud of him. ]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the ImPort community, my name is Cisco Ramon, and I'm here to offer my services to you. The Porter brings us here, gives powers to those of us who don't already have them, and the Government wants us to use those powers to fight crime as heroes. For some people, that's just another Tuesday. But there's a whole subsection of the ImPort community that doesn't come with pre-made costumes or alternate identities.

Ramon Tech is here to help.

Back home, I outfitted Central City's heroes with the clothes and tech they needed to fight criminal metahumans. We're talking the Flash, Kid Flash, Jesse Quick, Vibe, and others. My tech has made it to other cities, times, and alternate Earths. But you don't have to take my word for it. I have examples of my work to show you:
Attachments:

Feel free to contact me here or via my personal line. All client identities are kept confidential. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, or set up a time for us to meet in person.

Thank you for your time. 🖖

video »

Jun. 12th, 2017 02:31 am
eloquentness: (patient)
[personal profile] eloquentness
[ The feed opens up to a young woman sitting behind the counter of a flower shop. Several flower arrangements are lined up behind her, some more artfully arranged - and frankly, more gorgeous - than others.

(They're works in progress, okay?) On the bright side, she's sticking to safe combinations or single-flower bouquets, rather than branching out. ]


Hey, everyone. [ She beams into the camera; first impressions matter, after all. ] I've gotta ask, especially if you've been here a while: what's one thing you wish you'd known when you first got here?

I'm no stranger to parallel universes - trust me, living in Central City will do that to you - but it's still kind of surreal, you know? This doesn't have to be anything life-changing. It can be something small like, oh... I don't know, your new favorite coffee place?
socialactivillain: (alone in this empty room)
[personal profile] socialactivillain
Hello, imPorts. Some of you might already know me, but there have been a lot of new faces around since the last time I really put myself in the public spotlight. My name is Hartley Rathaway, but most people just call me Piper.

Since I arrived here a year ago, I've been deeply involved with several native-run charities—most notably Helping Hands, Open Hearts in Heropa, Aid De Chima, No One Alone in Maurtia Falls, and Color House in Nonah. Things like homelessness, hunger, and poverty shouldn't be an issue in places as technologically advanced and progressively-minded as our Porter cities, but they seem to be universal constants.

To step up my assistance in these causes that I feel so strongly about, I've decided to start my own organization, focused on imPort aid to the native communities in our cities. Ideally, we'll network with the existing organizations to get more imPorts involved in giving back to the communities that made space for us in their world, and focus on imPort-related issues that affect those communities, such as imPort-related crime and disasters.

So I'm here today looking for imPorts who are either willing to volunteer their time or money, as well as those who would be interested in seeking a career in this line of work. Paid positions will be limited, as our resources are better spent invested in the communities we'll be supporting, but I'm looking for some folks with previous history in public service, similar volunteer organizations, or office work.

Feel free to contact me here, or at my private contact.

[ He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should end on that note or continue with his last request. Sheepishly, he goes on. ]

...Also, if anyone has any suggestions for naming this organization, that's really all that's holding me back from filing the final paperwork to get this thing off the ground.

Puns appreciated, but only good ones.

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