003. Video

[willinglychanged]

[An incredibly haggard looking Drew appears on the screen, broadcasting to the entire world. His eyes are rimmed with dark circles marking sleeplessness, where there isn't black there's the puffy pink of a man who might've been crying recently.

He'd taken a few days to process what'd happened and somehow, in the midst of the mind-numbing insomnia and guilt he decided a public confession needed to be made. When he speaks his voice is raw and raspy and the only light in the room is from the crack left in his curtains, allowing daylight to filter through.]

So I uh, I guess I lied about some things. [He hears his voice and realizes how shitty it was, coughing slightly to clear his throat.] When I talked to any of you, I told y'all werewolves weren't dangerous, that we were regular members of society and we could control ourselves. I guess that ain't exactly true.

[His voice cracks again.] See the thing is, we feel things a little different, everythin' just comes on a little strong. An' hell, I can be weak... an' I was weak last week. I let the wolf take over an' drowned the human part of me in poison. An' I uh- [A deep breath.] I killed someone, a guy called Toby. Now I know it ain't permanent or anythin' but I guess I had to tell everyone that 'm not just the nice guy I wanted to be, I can understand if there're people out there who won't wanna talk to me anymore. Hell I don't even wanna know me right now. Shit hit the fan and I didn't leave myself in a position to control it.

[His voice goes quieter.] To anyone out there who I was really friendly with, I get it if y'wanna keep your distance- I fucked up, maybe stayin' away from me is the best thing y'can do. I'm gonna try fix things... its just gonna be hard, but I want y'all to know that this ain't what every werewolf does... I don't wanna hurt the cause 'cause of my own emotions... it ain't the species, its just one bad person.

[Now that his confession is done the wind is visibly gone from his sails, he seems almost haunted as the feed stays on for a couple seconds before clicking off.]

Comments

text

[kinesia]

[ Grey hasn't talked to Drew in a long time. Not since the day with the fight, not since Drew had seemed so uncomfortable with him.

Given all of that, this is the last kind of message Grey would have expected to see from him. He isn't sure what to think, but there's a strong part of him that just feels sad to hear Drew upset. ]

what happened ?

[ That's all. And he stays on text, because it's easier anyway, and he's not sure Drew wants to see him - either because he's still angry about the fight, or because he feels ashamed. Either or both is possible. ]

text;

[willinglychanged]

[Drew replies as a text message mostly because he can't bear to have Grey look at him right now. He understood that the other man's tendency towards violence came a little easier than Drew's own, but this was different... this was murder. He hadn't even been thinking of Grey's fight, after all, because he'd been dealing with this bullshit of his own rather than talking to anyone about it.]

remember those times I told you I was dangerous? That I could lose control.
Well it finally happened and a guy I know wound up dead.

text;

[kinesia]

[ Anyone can lose control, Grey thinks. Anyone. Not just werewolves. ]

i know
but what happened ?
why did you lose control ?

[willinglychanged]

Cause he screwed me up Grey.
He said he liked me, said he wanted me. Then he ran away.

And what did I get out of it? A damned text message.

And I've become the one damn thing I never wanted to be.
I need to get out of here.

[kinesia]

[ Suffice it to say, that is not what Grey was hoping to see. ]

you killed him because he said no ?

[willinglychanged]

NO.

DAMN IT GREY NO.

[Because that was fucking awful.]

...we did it, and he left me in the middle of the night. I guess it left me sad dude, whatever.

But then I did the stupider thing. I got drunk, drunk on wolfsbane? Remember the flower I called poison. Well I drank it.

And then he was there and god Grey I couldn't stop the wolf.

[kinesia]

[ That was awful.

And Grey remembers it, he remembers the drug. He remembers warning Drew not to take it. Kronole. Drugs make everything so much worse.

(And if this is what Drew did with Toby, if this is what they were before their fight, then what had Grey and Drew been? That's a question for another time. He isn't sure he wants to ask at all.) ]

drugs dont help
you have to get rid of it . you have to control the wolf without it

he didnt deserve to die .

[willinglychanged]

Its all gone already Grey.
I get it. I did a bad thing.

[He's lying. Of course he wouldn't have gotten rid of the drugs, not now at least.]

I know he didn't deserve to die Grey I'm not a freaking idiot.
I lost control when I was angry and killed him.

[He's just glad he didn't know what was going on in Grey's head, he'd hate that too.]

[kinesia]

[ It would be better to let it go, he thinks. Drew had wanted someone else. Does it matter if this happened before or after that fight with Ronan? The result is the same.

He also doesn’t really believe this. He had been worried about addiction with Drew before, and now he’s even more so. No one who took Kronole regularly would have gotten rid of it. They always crave more. ]

you really got rid of it ?

all of it ?

[willinglychanged]

All of it Grey.
Couldn't risk it happening again.

[Which was just more bullshit. Because Andrew Warner was digging his grave and climbing willingly into the coffin.]

[kinesia]

i hope so

[ For Drew's sake, mostly. It's obvious he regrets what happened, but it could have been prevented if he'd just stayed away from the drugs in the first place. ]

is he an import
your toby

[willinglychanged]

He ain't my Toby. I don't have a claim on anyone Grey. Not any more.
And yeah, he is.

[kinesia]

[ So his questions don't need to be asked, then. Grey nods, privately, filing this away.

He doesn't know how this went wrong, but at least he no longer blames the fight with Ronan for it. There had been someone else, and now there's no one.

Okay. ]

what happens now ?
they could put you in jail

[ That's after all what they'd done with Crane. Killing is supposed to matter here. There are supposed to be consequences. Grey doesn't know what they will be, but he doubts it can end here. Not when Drew is admitting that he did wrong. ]

[willinglychanged]

they better have one hell of a jail if they wanna cage a were.

[Which probably shouldn't be his thought process but it was. Maybe he'd turn Vigilante/Criminal and go live in the woods.]

[kinesia]

[ That, Grey thinks, is not really his point. ]

what will you do ?

[willinglychanged]

idk dude. run away?
hide?
cry a little?

[kinesia]

if youre sorry you should tell him .
if he'll listen .

[willinglychanged]

I told him I was sorry about everything.
Literally, everything.

[kinesia]

[ Grey nods. That's probably as much as Drew can do at this point. ]

thats good no more drugs drew . its not worth this .

[willinglychanged]

sure as hell ain't.
just gotta figure out what a few things are worth some time soon.

[kinesia]

[ Grey pauses, not entirely liking the idea of that. ]

what does that mean

[willinglychanged]

means I gotta do a lot of the one thing I don't like: thinking.

[kinesia]

i hope it helps .

[willinglychanged]

it should, i hope so too.